Angels of Comfort
I was walking up the street to the place and noticed how bummed I was feeling. I was feeling so despondent, depressed, worried and frustrated about my situation at the place, and their handling of my case. I was also worried about an urgent deadline I was working on. Just worried and depressed. So much so I called upon the angels.
I asked for the Angels of Comfort. Right away I was guided to focus on my stomach.
I was stuffed and in the usual amount of discomfort that happens after I've eaten (too much). The Angels of Comfort were joined by the Angels of Strength (Archangel Michael) and Wisdom (Archangel Uriel), and they said:
Angels: Quite often when you are not feeling or thinking well it is related to a way you have been treating your stomach.
Me: Yes, I see that you're showing me that my compulsive overeating reaches out to and greatly affects various other areas of my life.
Angels: And your emotions.
Me: Yes, and my emotions. I didn't realize it was so all-encompassing.
Angels: Your stomach is very important – "central", if you will. But it's not only about your eating. You've learned recently that your Bipolar Disorder and your eating disorder go hand in hand. And when one is better managed, so are the symptoms of the other. Your stomach has been only about eating for you – or more like it: Regularly abusing yourself with food. We want to help you stop doing that.
Me: Thank you angels. Thank you so much. And thank you God for giving me these angels to turn to when I need help, and there's no one I feel I can turn to. No religion I feel safe with and completely accepted by and approved of. Thank you, angels.
Angels: You're welcome, and beloved ad holy child. You called for us, and as we always do and have, we rushed to your side. That is our greatest joy and divine assignment – to serve God by assisting, protecting, and guiding God's creations who ask for our help.
You know from years of working with us that when you ask for our help with one problem, we usually show you often unexpected angles of your problem. Or that what you may have thought was a problem really wasn't one at all.
When we show you our stomach as it relates to what you thought was a situational, event-specific "depression," we are not only referring to your unbalanced eating negatively impacting your day and even your state of mind, stomach also represents your instincts, your feelings, your sense of the would around you and your place in it.
Your gut instinct is weak. It is far better than it used to be, as you recall.
[So that's what I've learned – to relax more. Listen to my gut.]
Angels: When we say your stomach (or rather how you've treated it) has confused the problems or difficult feelings, it's also from when you're not being tuning into or in touch with your feelings.
Me: Oh. You mean my dis-attachment and gut-emotionless or just the overall unfamiliarity with my gut has been causing me to feel depressed?
Angels: Only in part. We see you're ignoring of your emotions, you gut, causing you to make uninformed decisions which then negatively impact your life.
We will help you put those pieces of you, which were taken apart when you were abused as a child, we are helping you put those pieces back together.
One of those "pieces" is your relationship with and connected to your stomach.
Me: I have no idea what you're talking about. I don't want to hear this. I don't want to do this work. Waaaaah! Alright. I just had to get that out of my system!
Angels: We are long familiar with your using humor to minimize deflect your pain.
Me: Thank you for noticing. And I guess you already know that I did recognize at least some of what you were talking about. I think you're saying that there's a connection between the child sexual abuse and my eating disorder.
Angels: Clearly. But you've always only seen the part about eating to stuff pain, express rage you could not express any other way (as an abused child) to comfort yourself, and/or gain weight to be less attractive or more easily able to defend yourself against, the perpetrator.
Me: Yes, I did see those aspects.
Angels: What we are showing you now is how you have been missing a whole other way of being in control of yourself, and in touch with yourself. You have not been making use of this immense tool.
Me: I see that now. Why did I ignore it for so long?
Angels: Because you are not ready. Because you were afraid. Because you did not know how.
Me: That doesn't really tell me anything.
Angels: We feel you will be shown more as you show your readiness. Right now is plenty that you are making it a point to eat more living plants (especially fruit and greens) and are writing regularly about us and this experience with us. That is plenty. Good-bye for now.
Me: Thank you, angels. Thank you, God.
Cassendre Xavier is the author of Expanding Your Capacity for Joy: A Raw Vegan Comfort Book, Sourcebook, and Journal (ARtivist Publications/2009). She has written a monthly column on various topics including raw foods and angel spirituality, at Wisdom Magazine's online edition since 2009. For more information please visit http://cassendrexavier.com.
[Pictured: Cassendre with a huge bunch of collards, wearing a t-shirt from her former employer and raw vegan training center, Arnold's Way.]
© 2016 by Cassendre Xavier. All rights reserved.
Tags: biplar, mood, ptsd, stress, healing, angelic, nutrition, holistic, alternative, compulsive, overeating, addiction, recovery, sober, 12 Step, anonymous, sobriety.