Monday, February 27, 2017

27 February Holidays & Birthdays!

27 February is the birthday of the late beloveds "Mr. [Fred] Rogers" and Leonard Nimoy! It is also Independence Day for the Dominican Republic, International Polar Bear Day and National Pancake Day - very important! Above all, today is a day to do something AMAZING for yourself and for someone else! Make a great day, everyone!

​Cassendre

Saturday, February 25, 2017

25 February holidays!

Dear Friends!
25 February is People Power Revolution (22-25, Philippines)!, Day of the Revolution (Suriname)!, and Plum Blossom Festival (Kyoto)! -I got today's holidays all from Wikipedia!, but I find most of my fun holidays (and so can you) at Brownielocks dot com! Have a great day, everyone, and no matter what bums you out in the world, or in your head, remember, there's always something else to focus on that feels better. That's why I post these holidays....to remember every day we wake up that we have a choice to feel a little bit better!

Cassendre

Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Amethyste's Angels: Meditation for Anxiety: Trash Bags on the Sidewalk

Amethyste's Angels
Meditation for Anxiety: Trash Bags on the Sidewalk

by Amethyste Rah 

Dear Friends,

As I was trying to sleep last night, I was having difficulty letting go of a couple of worrisome thoughts. I have PTSD and am living in a situation that triggers me regularly and in a significant way that reminds me of the trauma that caused the disorder.
 I tried to think my way out of those feelings, and tried to feel my way out of those thoughts. I wanted to sleep.
 I even prayed to God, something that isn't my usually go-to as I had a difficult childhood reared on fundamentalist christianity which actually added to my initial trauma.
 Nothing was really working, although the prayer brought a small amount of relief. 
 Just when I was about to give up, I got an image of a woman tying up a trash bag. That was it! I was just going to put all my worries and feelings of anxiety of the moment (and there are many  per moment in my day-to-day life!) and those that God felt I should also let go of (whatever they were, and I was relieved at not having to know what they were), and put them out on the sidewalk. The sidewalk represented their being out of my head, mind, and consciousness.
 I did that and felt immediate relief. I was asleep soon after that.
 I now believe that my prayer did actually work.
 Angels are the arms and thoughts of God. They are God's gift to us, to help us make our lives easier, and to help us have a better relationship with the divinity that is within each of us.
 One of the things I appreciate most about the angels is that they are completely non-denomenational. They work for everyone regardless of religious or spiritual belief, or even no belief. 
 Two ways they do this is to help get us out of harm's way when it is not yet our time to leave the planet, and come to our aid when we ask for their assistance. The best way to call the angels is to say or think, "Angels, please help me!" But they also answer our call or cry to God, for whom they work.
 I believe this is what happened when I cried out for relief from my painful thoughts last night. I believe God heard and answered my prayer by sending an angelic thought and vision of myself "taking out the trash" of my worrisome thoughts.
 It is about 4:30 in the morning as I type this.
 I have some steel cut oats finishing up on the stove, and I hear the alarm go off upstairs, where I know my date and domestic companion will continue to snooze a bit before we leave in about an hour for our day out and apart before reuniting in the early evening. 
 Actually, now I am sitting and munching on those oats, which I prepared in water, then seasoned with cinnamon, and sweetened with honey.
 I am grateful for this opportunity to write this, and I now see it as an answer to another one of my prayers, a daily one, that I write more often.
 I appreciate your readership. :)

Angel Meditation for Anxiety: Trash Bags on the Sidewalk 

For when you want to cease a strong flow of thoughts and feelings of worry. 
1)Close your eyes.
2) Take a few slow, very deep breaths. Imagine the breaths cleansing not only your body but also your mind free of worry.
3) Imagine yourself standing outside where you put your trash. You are bending over slightly, using a twistie tie to close up a large bag full of garbage. These items of refuse are the thoughts that are bothering you now, as well as a bunch of others you either are or are not aware of. 
4) See yourself smiling as you stand upright again, and walk back to your home, away from the trash bag. (If you need to have more than one bag, feel free to create, fill, and leave out as many as necessary!)
5) See yourself now inside your home, peacefully doing whatever you want (in my case it was sleeping, and smile broadly, knowing your trash is now out where it can't affect you anymore. 
6) Say or think "Good riddance!"
7) Give thanks to God, and the angels. And make a mental note to call upon them again soon.

with angel blessings,
Amethyste Rah

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Amethyst is the birthstone of, and Amethyste Rah is the self-assigned soul name of multi-media healing artist Cassendre Xavier. Amethyste has done angel readings, dream interpretations, and spiritual counseling in various forms since the early 90s. She was ordained by God before birth as we all are, and by law in 2010. She is the creator of the Affirmations for Survivors guided meditation series, with "Self-Love" and "Spirituality" released in 2007, and "Sexuality" and "Life Skills" soon forthcoming, as well as a new line of angel and crystal meditations in progress. Amethyste's meditations feature background music of light by Thaddeus, used with permission from www.orindaben.com. Under the name Cassendre Xavier, she has been a monthly columnist at Wisdom Magazine's online edition since 2009. For more information and to read the latest "Amethyste Angels" blog posts, visitwww.cassendrexavier.com.

 

© Copyright 2017 by Cassendre Xavier (aka Amethyste Rah). All rights reserved. Permission is granted to reprint/share all or parts of this article provided this Copyright section is included and no profit is made. Thanks for sharing ethically! http://cassendrexavier.com.

 

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Make yourself a beautiful day!

Cassendre Xavier

"renaissance negresse"

$15,000 Leeway Transformation Award-Winning musician, writer, and community cultural arts organizer.

Founder & Executive Director of the Black Women's Arts Festival (Est. 2003) and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002).

Official website: http://cassEndrExavier.com


Sunday, February 19, 2017

Goddess Sundays: Goddess is Like a Cat

Goddess Sundays
Where every week we explore feminine aspects of the Divine

by Cassendre Xavier

Goddess is Like a Cat

In the early 90s I worked in a gay and feminist bookstore, where I discovered and devoured many wonderful books. One such item was called "Cats and Their Dykes."
 In this book I read, among other things, about misogyny, hatred of female sexuality, and how products are often sold using images of over-sexualized women.  ​

​ I realized that my up til then hatred of cats had to do with my own fear and self-hatred of my sexual self. I worked on it and went from becoming a dog persun to a cat persun, and then to one who almost worships cats and adores dogs as a symbol of unconditional and never-ending love.​
 I believe those who control society want us to hate Goddess the way they taught us to hate cats, as they were hated, tortured, and killed in England and surrounding areas many years ago.
 It's interesting that people in places like Egypt had the opposite reaction to both Goddess and cats -they worshiped both.
 Ask yourself who has anything to gain by promoting the idea that Goddess is to be killed.
 Ask where the true power might be.
 The answer is in your heart.


Thanks for letting me share :)

Cassendre Xavier
Multi-Media Healing Artist
with many names and titles
but who is NOT a multiple (not that there's anything wrong with that)!

 http://cassEndrExavier.com


​Copyright (c) 2017 by Cassendre Xavier. All rights reserved.​

Saturday, February 18, 2017

Poppy Seeds &Cigarette Smoke: Seeing the blessings in a challenging situation

Poppy Seeds and Cigarette Smoke: Seeing the blessings in a challenging situation...

by Cassendre Xavier

I am a passive smoker now. I learned this term yesterday when Googling the effects of living with a smoker. 
 About a couple of weeks ago I started staying with one of my sweeties, whom I have been dating since June. Assisting with my current situation of dealing with one of my life challenge/life skill issues of maintaining sufficient income for/or otherwise obtaining steady, independent housing, he offered me to stay with him. 
 But he smokes. In fact, he's a chain smoker. 
While it bothered me when we were just dating, I was able to get away from the cigarette smoke for the days and sometimes 2 weeks between our dates.
 Now, unless I take time off and away, I am surrounded by it much of time. (Thankfully he does not smoke on the second floor, which is where the bedrooms are and where I often get away to if needed.)
 I abhor the smell of cigarette smoke. And I have a very strong sense of smell. 
 Walking around during the day, outside of the house, I can smell the smoke on my clothes, and it disgusts me that I not only smell that bad, but that others now smell this on me and think I am a smoker, which I wouldn't give a hairy turd about if I actually were!
 I was becoming so disturbed about the fact that I am now reaping the glowing health benefits (sarcasm!!) of secondhand smoke, and that I am now an odiferous walking advertisement for NOT taking on or continuing this harmful habit, that I decided to switch gears.
 I chose to see cigarette smoke in two ways:
1)As a sign that I had yet again been so committed to creating my own positive, independent housing situatin that I attracted a situation that had built-in guards to ensure I wouldn't stay too long.
2)As something to be grateful for, as the cigarette smoke was from someone who is acting as a friend and trying to help me out.

I also recalled an article I had read from one of the associates of bestselling author Arielle Ford (Soulmate Secret, and Wabi Sabi Love). This persun was talking about her own experience of Wabi Sabi Love, in that her husband drov her crazy always leaving poppy seeds on the kitchen sink and counter. No matter how many times this woman pleaded and nagged, the poppy seeds would reappear morning after morning after his breakfast bagel. 
 The woman was invited to imagine one morning NOT seeing the poppy seeds. She said she immediately felt very saddened and almost started to cry at the thought, because she realized that no poppy seeds meant no "Joe" or whatever his name is!
 So I did that, and I am doing that. Whenever I experience the negative side effects of the cigarette smoke that my companion and helper creates in his home, which he is generously sharing with me, I just re-channel those feelings into whatever will help me to improve my situation. And it has caused some action this week, on beginning to apply for state-assisted housing for people with severe mental illness (I have the qualifying Bipolar 2 Disorder), as well as developing other thoughts for my professional projects and how I can begin to earn income again if not sooner, then definitely later.
 I am so grateful for all that comes to give me relief, even if it isn't perfect, because I know humyns aren't perfect, and I also know there are benefits to everything, if I am willing to look for and/or create them.

I wish you so much joy in your life, and that you are increasing in your realization that most of your feelings about your life and all of its contents are totally within your control. YOU control how you feel and what you make of everything that happens.
 Make it good, and make yourself a beautiful day!

Thanks for listening,

Cassendre
Multi-Media Healing Artist

Copyriight (c) 2017 by Cassendre Xavier. All rights reserved.


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Make yourself a beautiful day!

Cassendre Xavier

"renaissance negresse"

$15,000 Leeway Transformation Award-Winning musician, writer, and community cultural arts organizer.

Founder & Executive Director of the Black Women's Arts Festival (Est. 2003) and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002).

Official website: http://cassEndrExavier.com


Friday, February 17, 2017

Original GoFundMe Housing Post

​Hi, Friends,

Here is what my original post said when I was seeking to raise funds in late 2016 at http://gofundme.com/CXHousing. As you know, I am often changing my mind and desires, but one thing that remains is I wish my writings to be seen as they are written. So enjoy, or not, but here it is!

WHO I AM & WHAT I DO:
I am a performing and recording singer-songwriter-guitarist, a longtime publishing multi-genre writer, and an award-winning ($15,000 Leeway Transformation Award) community arts organizer in Philadelphia, PA who has recently become disabled and homeless (1 year in shelter, and the past 7 months on the streets).
 I have kept "my condition" secret until now (except to very close friends and family), but now is the time to be askin' for help from my appreciators far, and wide, longtime familiar, and also new like you! 
 I am trying to raise funds and build resources to rent motel/hotel rooms, and move into a house or apartment as soon as possible. I've been secretly living on the streets since June 2016, and was in a homeless shelter before that for a year. About my work:
Since 1991 I have released 9 recordings, several chapbooks, presented several workshops and classes, and created several support groups, wrote, directed and produced one play, and founded and produce arts events for the community. I sing, play the guitar, write songs, write essays and poetry about humor, spirituality, addictions/abuse/recovery/sobriety, mental health/illness/managment, erotica/sexuality, self help/personal growth/self-actualization, and love/romance/relationships.
A child sexual and physical abuse survivor, I was diagnosed in 1993 with Bipolar 2 and Posttraumatic Stress (PTSD) disorders. Off and on since then I've been in therapy and on medication.

MY CRISIS:
After 20+ years of living with my symptoms caused me to be chronically unemployed for the last 10+ years. This caused me to lose the ability to obtain independent housing, and begin to depend on relatives and romantic partners. The death of my financial and housing-providing partner of 4 years, in March 2013, paired with my illness-caused inability to earn sufficient and steady income, began a cycle of neediness that burdened friends and family members.
In June 2015 I entered an emergency women's shelter.
In June 2016 I was discharged and had no place to go. Since then, with the exception of 3 weeks at the home of a mental health program peer (a former drug addict with mental illness who later proved unstable with uncontrolled anger issues), I have lived without a residence. Since June 2016 I have been what is called "street homeless" *(as opposed to "shelter homeless"). I sleep on public transportation, at transit stations, and when I can get it, a hotel or motel room. I rely on occasional income from my digital music sales, and the conveniences of being a woman who dates men. On average I am able to sleep in a bed 1-3 a week.
As a result I have added health issues like edema (swelling of the legs and feet, very common among homeless people, who find it diffult to find places to lie down to sleep), and worsened symptoms of my obstructive sleep apnea (due to not being able to use my CPAP breathing machine enough), and negative impacts to my mental health recovery and management. (I also have hypertension and the added stress of being on the streets is not good for me, my mental health, or stress.)

WHAT I NEED & HOW YOU CAN HELP (WITH OR WITHOUT MONEY!):

$$$$$ MONEY!! $$$$$
I need immediate funds to rent a hotel or motel room at least 3 times week, and soon rent a room ($400/month).

RESOURCES/TEMPORARY LODGING:
1) A place to sleep. It can be once a week, or more than once a week, or just one time. Guest bedroom, couch, even floor with soft bedding or sleeping bag in a safe environment will be much better than what I've got now. I do not need to shower there (YMCA membership!) nor eat your food (EBT card, and if needed, food pantries!). I just need a place to sleep horizontally, with my breathing machine attatched. I am child- and pet-friendly, non-smoking and non-drinking, and can provide references of friends and concert promoters who have hosted me before. I am a quiet houseguest and even wear earplugs regularly for peaceful solitude.

2) Legal and social service help to apply for Social Security disability benefits. With continued self-care and support, until I am stable enough to perform enough concerts to pay my way (something that hasn't happened in over 10 years and that I'm not sure my mental health could support at this time), I could really use the $700/month SSI/SSDI for rent. With it, I could have a place to live whether or not I am able to work (and I haven't been able to, for several years).
I am turning to you, my friends, family, and audience of readers, listeners and appreciators of my work, for this assistance, because in my 1+ years experience, the people who are paid to help someone with my needs are not generally interested in helping me, because I suppose they think I have it together enough to not need their help. My appreciators outside of the social service sector won't have that issue. Even in my busking (subway performance) days I have met attorneys who are now fans. Regardless of how it comes, I will have income to not live on the streets anymore, disability beneftits or not. But it comes after asking for help, not before :)

A NEW BOYFRIEND? :)
A heterosexual male therapist of mine urged me to add to my list of qualifications on my dating search, someone I could move in with. I think this is a good idea and he made it sound like a very reachable task.
So, if you're a guy who is seeking a gal and you have a place with space you wish to share with a live-in girlfriend who wouldn't be required to pay rent, read my list of preferences - perhaps we may be a match!
PERSONAL AD TIME!
I am a vibrant and youthful 47 year-earned SBF BBW who is very kinky (sensual, domestic D/s) and in general does NOT engage in what is commonly thought of as conventional "intimacy" (I'm being very subtle in my language here because I want to keep my campaign as acceptable and shareable as possible!). I am polyamorous (long-term committed non-monogamous/open relationships) and naturally Dominant.
My type of man is: White, age 40-60, receding hairline/bald, wears eyeglasses, average build, intelligent, patient, non-smoking, submissive or very accommodating, very kinky, and has space in his public transportation-accessible home (I don't drive) as well as in his heart for a sweet, funny, highly energetic (yet also quiet and mellow) take-charge type of woman.
My severe mood disorder and PTSD symptoms do not seem to hinder me from forming sexual or romantic relationships, although, like employment - perhaps because it also involves regular contact with many folks, I haven't been able to have or keep a platonic relationship for several years.
My symptoms have been managed for the last 2+ years with medication and 2-3x weekly group and individual therapy sessions. My creative endeavors also are very healing to me (writing, singing, performing).
I am often very irritable, but I know when it's happening, and take appropriate action, such as finding a place to be alone for a while.
Okay! With all of that, and now addressing any potential mate(s):
If you'd like to meet Me and see if W/we're a match to start dating, with the prospects of My moving in if you and I click, then either privately message Me through this post, or through another email address you have for Me. If I don't know you, I will ask that you send me 2-3 current face pics before W/we continue. When you write, you will address Me as "Goddess". That is all. :)

WHAT I AM OFFERING AS THANKS:
For all donations of $30 or more, and while supplies last, I offer to mail you a copy of one of my musical or spoken word guided meditation CDs (US Postal service to the domestic USA). If you'd like me to send you the music digitally, you can inquire but I can't guarantee I'll be able to do that. Feeling pretty overwhelmed these days and can only do some things. That one's not easy for me to do. But that could change by the time you ask. So ask away!)
For all donations of $75 or more, plus a meal at your place, I offer you an in-persun spiritual/angel reading. This involves my writing down the divine guidance I receive as you speak or after you have answered a few questions I have. I read to and hand you my writings when we're done. You can record the session if you wish. People LOVE these and consider them to be not only helpful but very accurate. Loving spirit always amazes! :)
For donations of $150 or more I offer a house concert at your home, coffeehouse, house of worship, or community center. I will also sing at a nursing home, shelter, or wherever I am invited that is safe and appropriate and may be a blessing to people (it always is to me!). (References for house concerts and house of worship performance are available upon requestification. :) )
Donations of more than $150 are highly welcome and I haven't figured out anything for that. I find that larger donations are made without need of any more reward than knowing they helped. But if you would like an arts-related reward for your donation, please let me know, thanks!

In spite of what I have written above, all but the CDs are also available for free if we negotiate a mutually beneficial compensation arrangement - such as I do a house concert that you don't pay for, but you get 20 of your friends to pay $10 each, and so forth. Or you put me up for a couple of days and make me dinner and I give you an angel reading, etc.! We are amazingly gifted and abundant creators - let's think outside the box and make a deal!

WHAT I HAVE DONE TO HELP MYSELF (AND MY COMMUNITIES):
1) Housing attempts: 2015 convinced then boyfriend to let me move into a vacant property of his and rent out rooms and live there. No one was interested, and I lost that residence. 2015 lived for many months or over a year with relatives. Had to move out when they were expecting their 3rd child and needed the space. In shelter I had regular meetings with case managers and filled out countless applications and went to do errands to get housing. Nothing ever came of all of my efforts over a year period and working with 4 case managers. I spent weeks trying to rent a unit using a rapid re-housing voucher I head. Nothing panned out and I lost that opportunity. With my last $500 I went to look at a $300/month room but passed on it because it was slumlord heaven and I'd rather ride the subway all night to sleep than be in house full of loud people getting high off of drugs and alcohol all night.
2) Self-care: While in shelter I took care of several health issues such as researched and participated in a sleep study which got me my official diagnosis of sleep apnea (although I knew I had the symptoms for over 20 years), got a CPAP breathing machine, which I borrowed for a year and earned it with proper use - now it's mine free and clear! I got my eyes examined for the first time in many years. I kept my usual therapy appointments and took my medication regularly. I met with everyone I was supposed to meet with all the time, and I continued to research, find, and use all the resources I used, including the sleep center.
3) COMMUNITY SERVICE: Kept a vibrant and positive presence on social media. Came to be known as the self-care goddess. Wrote articles monthly for Wisdom Magazine, including my popular series: "Soulmate Attraction for the Rest of Us: Dating & Relationships for the Polyamorous, Recovering, Survivor & Tantric," and "Living with Bipolar Disorder." Blogged more spiritual and sexual/erotic writing under my names Amrita Waterfalls and Endowed Goddess. Write my weekly "Goddess Sundays" series. Organized and produced the 10th Black Women's Arts Festival (Philly 2016). Released my well-received and reviewed 7th album "Hope". Did spiritual readings (angels, ancestors, spirit guides) for folks, paid, and unpaid. Blogged poetry. And more!

PROSPECTS, HOPES & EXPECTATIONS:
I just learned that a check will soon be mailed to me for my work on the 10th Black Women's Arts Festival. Once that arrives, it should be enough for me to rent a room for at least one month. So, I expect to receive that at some point - it could be weeks, but it shouldn't be months.
I expect to keep meeting and dating (interviewing!) potential long-term partner(s) for the usual good stuff PLUS HOUSING!
I expect to keep making the art that I make (writing, music) even when I'm living on the street. NOTHING can stop me! I'll be doin' it from the clouds, yo!
I expect to keep working on the last 2 of my 4-part "Affirmations for Survivors" guided meditation series: "Sexuality" and "Life Skills" (first two, "Self-Love" and "Spirituality" were released in 2007).
I expect to keep up with that great spiritual practice of gratitude. (And I have so much to be thankful for!)
I expect to keep staying strong and getting better and better at self-care, asking for, and receiving help!
My hope is that more of you will buy my music at Spotify, CD Baby, etc.!
My hope is that the love and inspiration I've put out over the past couple of years in all the ways that I have will come back to me in completely wonderful and often surprising ways!
I hope you are inspired by my asking and are emboldened to do the same whenever you need to!


LINKS FOR FURTHER CONTACT OR ENJOYMENT:

Official/primary website: http://cassEndrExavier.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/cassendrexavier
Twitter: https://twitter.com/CassendreXavier
Erotic blog: http://amritawaterfalls.blogspot.com
Listen free at Bandcamp: http://bit.ly/21ba7UE
Watch my videos at YouTube: http://bit.ly/1LFXsN2
Buy CDs and Downloads at CD Baby: http://bit.ly/1STG2Es
iTunes: http://apple.co/1K7zV5g
and most of my income from my music comes from Spotify.  http://bit.ly/1VeaieF

I can't thank you enough... but I'll try :)

Thank you thank you thank you for being yourself and for doing what you can, even if that's a prayer, one of the greatest gifts of all.
Please hold a vision of my success and comfort, as I do of yours.
I thank you in advance for your time, consideration, and generosity of positive spirit!

Blessings in art and community,

Cassendre Xavier
aka Amethyste Rah, Amrita Waterfalls, and Endowed Goddess
renaissance negresse (musician, writer, fine artist, actress)
Multi-media healing artist
Founder of the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (est. 2002)
Founder & Executive Director of the Black Women's Arts Festival (est. 2003)
http://cassEndrExavier.com

P.S. Just because I'm cheery and grateful, doesn't mean my situation isn't dire and I don't need your help. It is and I do! :)

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Soulmate Attraction: Date Like Drinking Water

SOULMATE ATTRACTION: Dating is like drinking water. You're not going to want to do a lot of it if it's bad - if the water isn't pure enough, if it maybe doesn't have the fresh squeeze of lime or lemon that you prefer. If it isn't alkalanized with a clear quartz crystal. What are your needs? What are your preferences? Your wishes and desires - for fresh drinking water - for a vivid and rewarding dating life? Refine your dating life as you refine your drinking water, then you'll enjoy more and better navigate your dating life and world.
(Read my "Soulmate Attraction for the Rest of Us" and other articles at Wisdom Magazine's online edition: http://wisdom-magazine.com/ArticleArchives.aspx?isLike=true&author=cassendre%20xavier or http://tinyurl.com/CXWisdom)



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Make yourself a beautiful day!

Cassendre Xavier

"renaissance negresse"

$15,000 Leeway Transformation Award-Winning musician, writer, and community cultural arts organizer.

Founder & Executive Director of the Black Women's Arts Festival (Est. 2003) and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002).

Official website: http://cassEndrExavier.com

Monday, February 13, 2017

New Inspiration Line Message! "Trauma, Orientation, and..."

​New message on my Free, 24-hour Inspiration Line! "Trauma, Orientation & Neutral Origins, or What If What You Like Is Simply What You Like?" 215-552-8850

Sunday, February 12, 2017

Goddess Sundays: Fearless Self-Love

Goddess Sundays 
Where every week we explore feminine aspects of the divine...

By Cassendre Xavier 

Fearless Self-Love 


When you begin doing positive affirmations, and really dig into serious, sometimes playful, and always dedicated work on improving your self-esteem (what we'll call self-love), one of the first emotions you will encounter is fear.
 Most people were not reared to have a healthy sense of self. At first, saying these affirmations will be uncomfortable and even embarrassing. It becomes easier with practice, in large part because your inner wise self or soul knows these loving statements to be true fact.
 One thing that could also help is to consider Goddess as Nature.
She is not afraid to love Herself!
 Nature is bold in its beauty; She makes Herself that way. And She is fierce in protecting Life, all Life.
 There is no shame, hesitation or embarrassment in it - in being beautiful,  in loving oneself.
 Imagine a toddler, sitting on a floor. It laughs and is relaxed and content as it enjoys the sensations of its pudgy arms, legs, fingers, and toes.
 A toddler is not afraid of self- love, and you needn't be, either!
 Next time you have issues with practicing self-love, remember Nature. Remember Goddess, and take after Her.
 That,  among many other reasons,  is why She is here.

(c) Copyright 2017 by Cassendre Xavier. All rights reserved. 


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Make yourself a beautiful day!

Cassendre Xavier

"renaissance negresse"

$15,000 Leeway Transformation Award-Winning musician, writer, and community cultural arts organizer.

Founder & Executive Director of the Black Women's Arts Festival (Est. 2003) and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002).

Official website: http://cassEndrExavier.com


Friday, February 10, 2017

New Inspiration Line Message!

Dear Friends & Complete Total Strangers!
New message on my Free, 24-hour Inspiration Line! "Depression Happens - Stay Calm and Treat It!" (Bipolar/PTSD Chronicles) 215-552-8850
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Make yourself a beautiful day!

Cassendre Xavier
"renaissance negresse"
$15,000 Leeway Transformation Award-Winning musician, writer, and community cultural arts organizer.
Founder & Executive Director of the Black Women's Arts Festival (Est. 2003) and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002).
Official website: http://cassEndrExavier.com
 

Bipolar/PTSD Chronicles: Protect Your Innocence

Protect Your Innocence (Bipolar/PTSD Chronicles)

February 10, 2017
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, USA

I can recall having symptoms of depression since I was a child. Bipolar disorder runs in my family. I was molested and physically abused from childhood into my teens. I have a different relationship with innocence than most, as the perpetrator of child sexual abuse often tries to put the blame on the child, who often does take that on.
While I never blamed myself for the abuse, I did grow up feeling as though I didn't have the same sort of innocence as everyone else, or more accurately, as those who were not abused sexually or physically.
I was officially diagnosed with both Bipolar Disorder and Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) when I was in my early 20s. (I believe I would have been diagnosed much earlier had I been allowed to go to counseling, as I had asked for.) I am used to depression its many facets, and even with medication, weekly individual and group therapy sessions, and an improving holistic treatment system, depression sometimes sneaks up on me without my noticing it.
When this happens, I can slip into behaviors that may seem comforting at the onset, but which later I notice were not for my well-being.
One such example is watching gory or shocking things on YouTube or websites.
It is particularly easy to get sucked into watching many videos on the highly addictive website YouTube. Then you Google things, then they lead you to other websites where you can read articles and see videos about those things.
The day before yesterday, this happened to me. I was lead from watching one more innocent video to clicking on more violent, shocking, bloody, or otherwise disgusting video.
I was reading articles online, and clicking on shock, blood, and gore websites and I watched these things which I will not name any more than I would name a white flour or white sugar substance at an anonymous 12 Step meeting for people with compulsive eating issues.
Two days later I still have flashes about some of the things I watched, and while I learned in my Google search online that people are just as attracted to aggression as they are to sex, and while I was able to feel more normal and less ashamed and concerned about my interest, I still feel bad I saw those things. I lost some of my innocence, I realized.
I can never unwatch those things.
I can forgive myself because I also enjoy trying to understand the motivations and psyches of the people who commit violence, but I went an extra level in what I allowed myself to receive in my psyche.
I will never be the girl or woman who didn't see those things.
I realized I don't want to have certain things in my head. I realized that I am more innocent than I thought.
I have always prized my innocence. I am now interested in and committed to finding more ways I am innocent, and in protecting and raising the vibration of my psyche.
Last night I signed up for an angel healing app by one of my favorite authors, Doreen Virtue. Today I read the first message, and it made me cry. I know I have a lot of healing to do, and that my innocence will lead the way to more.

If you were abused as a child, please take care of your innocence. You do have innocence. And if you don't know that, please take the time and self-love to find and nurture it.
And if you have a history of depression, please be extra on-guard in protecting your innocence.
It is there and it must be nurtured.

Thank you for reading and I wish you well on your path of healing!


Cassendre Xavier has been writing the "Living with Bipolar Disorder" series at Wisdom Magazine's online edition since 2011. Cassendre was diagnosed with Bipolar 2 Disorder and Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) at age 23. She has been a member of Philadelphia's LGBT, polyamorous, and New Age/ancient wisdom spiritual communities since 1991, and from 1996-1999 facilitated Sisters Healing Together, a peer support group for women survivors of incest with a special focus on compulsive overeating, which she also founded, at the William Way LGBT Community Center in Philadelphia. Under her self-assigned spiritual name Amethyste Rah, Cassendre released the popular Affirmations for Survivors guided meditation audio series ("Self-Love" and "Spirituality" in 2007, and "Sexuality" and "Life Skills" are forthcoming). For more information, please visit    http://cassEndrExavier.com


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Make yourself a beautiful day!

Cassendre Xavier
"renaissance negresse"
$15,000 Leeway Transformation Award-Winning musician, writer, and community cultural arts organizer.
Founder & Executive Director of the Black Women's Arts Festival (Est. 2003) and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002).
Official website: http://cassEndrExavier.com

Amethyste's Angels - Angels Help with All Things Large & Small

Dear Friends & Complete Total Strangers!

Please enjoy my Wisdom Magazine article Amethyste's Angels - Angels Help with All Things Large & Small http://wisdom-magazine.com/Article.aspx/3565/

Cassendre


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Make yourself a beautiful day!

Cassendre Xavier

"renaissance negresse"

$15,000 Leeway Transformation Award-Winning musician, writer, and community cultural arts organizer.

Founder & Executive Director of the Black Women's Arts Festival (Est. 2003) and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002).

Official website: http://cassEndrExavier.com


Thursday, February 9, 2017

You Can Make a Cloudy Day Bright!

Dear Friends and Complete Total Strangers!

Things are what they are. Your perceptions, interpretations, and experiences of them are totally up to you. Your attitude can make a cloudy day bright, or make a sunny day dismal, and not just for you, but for those around you, too!

Cassendre 


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Make yourself a beautiful day!

Cassendre Xavier

"renaissance negresse"

$15,000 Leeway Transformation Award-Winning musician, writer, and community cultural arts organizer.

Founder & Executive Director of the Black Women's Arts Festival (Est. 2003) and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002).

Official website: http://cassEndrExavier.com


Tuesday, February 7, 2017

The Personal Touch (Terrie Williams)

Dear Friends and Complete and Total Strangers!

In 1996, I was working at Borders Bookshop when this book by Terrie Williams came out. She was a publicist for the then much more respected Bill Cosby and other celebrities. I had the pleasure of seeing her read from this book and years later at Robin's bookstore when she had another book, this one about black women and depression.
Anyway, today for my birthday, I was responding to each of the many (and growing in number) well wishes from my friends network here at Facebook. I simply copied and pasted "Thank you very much!" followed by a link to my CD storefront at CD Baby.
I thought nothing of pasting this one after another after another.
Then I realized this was impersonal and cold, and would likely have the opposite effect of making people feel good, and then they would have the opposite desire to buy my music.
But if I gave them "The Personal Touch" of my individual attention and acknowledgment, they would feel good, period and end of story.
It's when people like you or feel good around you that they then have an interest in learning more about you and in supporting you.
I don't want to come off as if I'm just using people for their attention to and financial support of my work. If I do that, it's showing that I believe in scarcity - I'm coming from a place of lack, unhappiness, and worry.
But if just do the right thing to begin with, I will feel good and so will everyone else around me.
 The good thing about doing the right thing is that it feels good just doing it. You don't then look for a benefit after.
 Now that I'm taking my time to reply personally to everyone, I feel good. And I'm not thinking about music sales, because I know they will come, when people are interested. And the only way that will happen is if I'm interested in them, AND if I'm really passionate about what I'm doing.
 This is why my writings garner so much positive attention, because I am really passionate about what I'm writing, and I am genuinely interested in people, in that I want my writing to uplift, inspire, energize, and comfort them.
 When I'm focused on that, everything else is extra.
 Terrie says the personal touch is very important, even down to memorizing how someone's name is spelled.
I'm glad I remembered this book, and went back and deleted those initial responses, adding new ones that are personal, so that people feel more special and important. Because people are important.
You are important. And the personal touch conveys that!

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Make yourself a beautiful day!

Cassendre Xavier

"renaissance negresse"

$15,000 Leeway Transformation Award-Winning musician, writer, and community cultural arts organizer.

Founder & Executive Director of the Black Women's Arts Festival (Est. 2003) and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002).

Official website: http://cassEndrExavier.com

Today's My Birthday! (International Black Women in the Arts)

Dear Friends and total strangers!
07 February is (in addition to my birthday!) International Day of Black Women in the Arts! The first day of International Week of Black Women in the Arts! ...and part of International Month of Black Women in the Arts! All these are part of the lovely holidays featured at http://www.brownielocks.com, and they are official holidays of the Black Women's Arts Festival, which I founded in 2003! (11th BWAF will be in Philly in the fall, of 2017, at our primary venue The Rotunda. Dates are set, but secret for now!)
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Make yourself a beautiful day!

Cassendre Xavier
"renaissance negresse"
$15,000 Leeway Transformation Award-Winning musician, writer, and community cultural arts organizer.
Founder & Executive Director of the Black Women's Arts Festival (Est. 2003) and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002).
Official website: http://cassEndrExavier.com
 

Sunday, February 5, 2017

Goddess Sunday: Abundant Pleasure

Goddess Sundays
where every week we explore feminine aspects of the divine

"Abundant Pleasure"

There is no limit to the amount of pleasure one can experience. Wimmin have an unlimited capacity for sexual pleasure. Multi-orgasmic, and able to continue lovemaking long after an un-ejaculatorily-trained male partner reaches climax, we can go on and on, into the night and very next day.
 If you ever feel limited in your capacity to receive or sustain your experience of pleasure, think about wimmin. Think about nature, and how vast and abunant it is - how totally and completely unscarce.
 Goddess is abundance. She knows no pleasure bounds. Access this essence. And teach it to others.

-Cassendre Xavier



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Make yourself a beautiful day!

Cassendre Xavier

"renaissance negresse"

$15,000 Leeway Transformation Award-Winning musician, writer, and community cultural arts organizer.

Founder & Executive Director of the Black Women's Arts Festival (Est. 2003) and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002).

Official website: http://cassEndrExavier.com


Friday, February 3, 2017

"Me! Me! Me!" Helpful Friends ediccione

"Me! Me! Me!" a Cassendre Xavier museletter
The "Helpful Friends" ediccione, if you will. (As it were.)

Friday, February 3, 2017
An undisclosed lair (aka "hotel" :) ) in Center City, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, United States of America

GREETINGS
HELPFUL MAN FRIENDS
FUNDRAISING, THE LAW OF ATTRACTION (OR THE LAW OF EXPECTATION, AS THE CHRISTIANS SAY!) AND THE POWER OF WORDS
GOFUNDME HOUSING FUNDRAISER UPDATE
LINKATION WITHOUT REPRESENTATION
Z) FAREWELL BLESSING & ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

Dear Friends and total strangers whom I have never met or even heard of not even once,

How's it goin'.
I'm feeling pretty good. Thank you for being part of my reading and caring audience. If you didn't pay attention to what I say and do, I would not feel as supported. Attention is good. I appreciate you!

1)HELPFUL MAN FRIENDS
Some time ago I put it out there ("in the Universe" as my hippie New Agers/"ancient wisdom" peers say) that I wanted men friends who added more comfort to my life. And that's recently been happening. It feels really good to receive support, especially emotional. Sometimes a man will be gruff but then I hear so much warmth and care in his voice, and see his actions follow suit.
It took me a long time to start manifesting helpful man friends, to see or experience helpfulness in the man friends I already had, because of my very strong desire to be a fully independent womon.
Energetically and mathematically it didn't match to not want to depend on a man and also attract men who would help me fix the major problem(s) in my life, financially speaking. I envied women who did have this kind of support, particularly if their relationships were healthy and loving.
I don't have anyone paying my bills or putting me up or providing me a home. I am not even receiving large amounts of cash. But I am receiving more small and medium, and always significant material and emotional gifts and gestures of affection, respect, and definite support. Care, I suppose it is. Care of a different kind - one I hadn't asked for before, nor expected to receive. Both are happening now and I am truly grateful.
I know I shouldn't be that grateful. It should be a given and I, like you, and like everyone else is, I am definitely worthy of care, affection, respect, and material and emotional support of various and reasonable kinds.
But we all have our issues, and while we are confident in some areas, others - not so much.
I think gratitude is what really counts in attitude, so I focus on that. That helps me remove the focus from how I "should" be feeling. I have more help from my men friends and I'm happy about that. I think that's the key - to be happy but not over-grateful. :)

2)FUNDRAISING, THE LAW OF ATTRACTION (OR THE LAW OF EXPECTATION, AS THE CHRISTIANS SAY!) AND THE POWER OF WORDS

3)GOFUNDME HOUSING FUNDRAISER UPDATE
The fundraiser is now at $630! Thank you to all who have donated! I have been using the funds to pay for very reasonably priced hotel room stays that have been a big help to me. I am feeling much better, and lighter. I have been able to see humor appear in my writing - humor I used to write a lot of when I first started my museletters years ago. When shortly after the first donations came in I read back an email I had sent out, and I saw that I had been funny in it, I was surprised, because I hadn't seen any humor in my writing in a very long time. I had completely forgotten I was ever even funny in my emailing to ye, my audience types. This told me I was really "in a shape" as a sweetie of mine says. This is why I say thank you so often, because I really do respond well to help. I also seem to have a ridiculously high tolerance for emotional and physical discomfort, which is why so many years can go by without my even noticing my sense of humor had withered away, thankfully only temporarily.
Of course it would be even funnier if I was the only one who thought what I wrote was funny, and if I in fact have lost my funny and would never again regain it. That would be high-LARIOUS!
Thanks, people. I will write another fundraiser update soon. :)

To read, to learn, to giveth of thyself, and/or to shareth with othereths:
https://www.gofundme.com/CXHousing

4)LINKATION WITHOUT REPRESENTATION

My Bandcamp storefront (most, but not all of my musical albums. All of my spoken word guided meditation albums) https://cassendrexavier.bandcamp.com

Visit the Cassendre Xavier Music Gallery (this is where most of any music online sales income comes from. Cha-ching!!) http://www.cdbaby.com/artist/cassendrexavier

Where I put most of my lovin' attention, writer-wise, on a daily-like basis: All of the Facebooks (its birthday of which is tomorrow, by the way - Happy Birthday, Facebook!) https://m.facebook.com/cassendrexavier. And also on all of the Twitters henceforth:
https://mobile.twitter.com/CassendreXavier

My primary blog:
http://cassendrexavier.blogspot.com, where you can read my latest posts "How to Talk About Your Problems," and "What's Wrong with Being Broken?"

Selected Wisdom Magazine Articles:

10 Powerful & Loving Thoughts & Affirmations for the New Year
Living with Bipolar Disorder: Women's Issues & Needs
Redefining Sobriety: When You Don't Fit in the Recovery Box
Soulmate Attraction for the Rest of Us: "It's Complicated"
Don't Save the Best for Last

View them at http://wisdom-magazine.com/ArticleArchives.aspx?isLike=true&author=cassendre%20xavier (or http://www.tinyurl.com/CXWisdom)

Z)FAREWELL BLESSING & ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
I wish for you increased self-empowerment and self-actualization, today and every day going forward.
I'd like to thank all of my supporters in recent years and especially in recent months.
This issue of Me! Me! Me! is dedicated to my supportive man friends who have brought comfort to my life during some very difficult challenges of the past year or so.
The tablet I am writing this on is a gift from one of my main squeezes. The lovely hotel room and desk I am sitting at is a gift from myself, from my fundraiser donors, and from another squeeze.
A gal can never have too many friends, that is, until it is time to manifest Her one and primary. But that is for another time and museletter ;)

Thank you as always, for your continued support of my art/work, and therefore, life.

Very best,
Cassendre Xavier (aka Amethyste Rah, aka Amrita Waterfalls, aka Endowed Goddesss)
renaissance negresse (musician, writer, actress, fine artist)
$15,000 Leeway Transformation Award-Winning Founder & Director of the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002)
Founder & Executive Director of the Black Women's Arts Festival (Est. 2003)
Official website: http://cassEndrExavier.com


Copyright © 2017 by Cassendre Xavier. All rights reserved.

How to Talk About Your Problems

Find a way to talk about your problems that make them seem like challenges you are grateful to try to meet. Always put a positive spin on whatever difficulty you're going through. Your attitude will make a difference not only in your own progress, but in how others feel around and respond to you. 

Cassendre Xavier


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Make yourself a beautiful day!

Cassendre Xavier

"renaissance negresse"

$15,000 Leeway Transformation Award-Winning musician, writer, and community cultural arts organizer.

Founder & Executive Director of the Black Women's Arts Festival (Est. 2003) and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002).

Official website: http://cassEndrExavier.com


What's wrong with being broken?

I have never felt comfortable saying, "I am not broken." I think it's far better to say, "I broken, but it is only temporary, it is only physical, and I know my spirit and my soul are always intact." I prefer to say I am a strong and vibrant, courageous humyn, being, fully involved in my living. I would prefer to be flawed - to make sometimes glaring and embarrassing mistakes, because anything else is not humyn. AFFIRM: I love being here. I chose this life and I live it and enjoy it as best as I can.

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Make yourself a beautiful day!

Cassendre Xavier

"renaissance negresse"

$15,000 Leeway Transformation Award-Winning musician, writer, and community cultural arts organizer.

Founder & Executive Director of the Black Women's Arts Festival (Est. 2003) and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002).

Official website: http://cassEndrExavier.com