Wednesday, July 5, 2017

He Loved Me (for TDT) poem

[Relationship 2009 until his passing in 2013]

Tom never told me he liked my voice
He never said I sang well
or that he liked my music

But he came to my shows
towards the end of his life
And he climed stairs
to see me
On weakened legs
ravaged by a damaged heart
On a six foot five inch
three hundred pound frame
When he had to lift his ankle
by the scruff of his pants
to cross his legs as he sat
He came to see me

And he smiled
Oh, how he smiled
as he watched me sing
He looked so proud 
and happy
and pleased 
and comforted
by a sound I hoped he found
and soothing

Tom never told me he liked my voice
But he thirsted for it
Like a man in the dessert
He leaned in and was quiet
and let me feed him my words
He needed to hear me talk
He needed me

Tom told me he loved me
a few times near the end
But I never needed to hear it
Because he showed it many ways
Like the day he carried a bed
Up the small staircase 
of my apartment
Towards the end
when his heart was weakest
He worked for me
He helped make my life
more comfortable
as he always had
That was love

One of the times he said I love you
that I believed him the most
the time I often play back
in my memory
Because it fills me with joy
to know I was truly loved
is when he said,
"We don't choose who we love."

That was the most concrete statement
to me about his love.
But he never had to say it.
He showed it many ways.
He loved me.

(c) Copyright 2017 by Cassendre Xavier. All rights reserved.

Tag: poetry, widow, grief, bereavement, polyamory, poly

Make yourself a beautiful day!

Cassendre Xavier

"renaissance negresse"

$15,000 Leeway Transformation Award-Winning musician, writer, and community cultural arts organizer.

Founder & Executive Director of the Black Women's Arts Festival (Est. 2003) and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002).

Official website:

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