Sunday, January 8, 2017

Why Ask Why (bipolar euphoric poetry)

sunday january eighth, the year two thousand and seventeen

today I have

forty-seven years

of living

in this place of challenge

and overwhelming pleasure


it has been a good time

it has not always been easy

but I am so happy

to be here!

to be here!


it is sunday

I am in a good place

I am in a bookstore

I am in my office

I am in love

with my life


And I am grateful


I wonder why

I feel so happy

When there is so much wrong

in the world

And in my own little corner

of it  


At first I worry

About whether

I am too happy

I know I'm

manic right now

And every happy feeling

Is suspect, but


Why not think I'm happy because

I spend so much time focusing

On the good

there also exists

In the world and all around me


What if

I'm just happy because?

Because I'm comfortable

Because I'm freshly showered

And shampooed

Because I have healthy food in me

Because I'm in a comfortably toasty

Warm and friendly

Environment

I am in good company

And I am doing good

And joyful things


What if my joy today

Has nothing to do with my

so-called

brain disorder

Do healthy people question

And feel uneasy with their joy?

And what is "healthy" anyway?


The sun is shining so boldly today

It's as if it has no shame

No embarrassment to be as loud

as it wants to be

As obvious

As typical


"Oh sunlight!"

"You are such a show-off!"

"Simmer down, now, sun!"

"Calm yourself!"


If we do not say this

to the sun

If we appreciate

Its brightness

Its light

Against certain kinds of darkness

If we want its warmth

If we cannot live without it

For food

Even when it is

Too bright and

Too hot

We can then accept and love the sun

Just as it is


Why can't I

do the same

with and about

my brain?


"Oh, brain!"

"You are such a show-off!"

"Simmer down, now, brain!"

"Calm yourself!"


I will not say this

to my brain

I will appreciate

Its brightness

Its light

Against certain kinds of darkness

If I want its fullness

If I cannot be without it

For authentic living

Even when it is

Too bright and

Too "much"

I can then accept and love my brain

Just as it is


And stop asking

Why



​(c) Copyright 2017 by Cassendre Xavier. All rights reserved. Permission granted to re-print, provided full credit and website are included. ​​

Official website: http://cassEndrExavier.com

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