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To Receive is Divine
by Cassendre Xavier
January is "Get a Balanced Life Month" and what better way to celebrate than to practice receiving. The truly powerful and effective at living do not only give. We know that giving too much creates physical and emotional ailments. Codependence comes to mind as an unhealthy condition of over-giving.
One of the things about giving too much that we often forget is that the receiver also suffers. As in codependence, when we give too much to someone or help them too much, we enable them to be weak and never improve - never face their problems or related consequences.
In the case of giving a compliment or a gift, that act of giving is not complete until the receiver has done their part. Part of that is simply saying, "You're welcome." Not, "My pleasure," or "No problem," but "You're welcome.
Saying "You're welcome" acknowledges that you know you are giving something and you receive the thanks you are given.
One of my sweeties is being trained by me to say "You're welcome." I don't feel good after I say thank you for a gift until I've heard "You're welcome." Then I know my thank you has been received. The answer I get after specifically requesting a "You're welcome" is "Of course you're welcome." But I don't know that until I hear it, or rather I want to hear it anyway. I need that.
It's much like children need to hear "I love you". Or adults in a romantic relationship. It isn't enough for it to be understood.
In order to be truly powerful and live authentic, self-actualized lives, we must become adept at receiving as well as we give.
Also, receiving gives the giver the opportunity to give and to serve, which are both not only very honorable but pleasurable activities. Until something is received, it cannot be truly given.
Additionally, when it comes to asking for help, love, companionship, money, support, encouragement, hugs, etc., it takes courage. Asking for help is one of the most difficult things for people to do, especially those with self-esteem or previous abuse issues.
This can be overcome with practice, and with seeking images and examples of individuals, organization, and even corporations which are in the regular habit of asking not only for money, but lots of it. There is no shame in asking for help or any kind of assistance, especially when one has worked and earned various kinds of support.
When it comes to love, though, we have nothing to earn. We are born worthy of love. If you don't feel you are getting enough love and support from a friend, lover, or any other kind of relationship partner, after asking for it, that's a big and bold sign to step AWAY from that relationship!
You should be able to ask for and receive what you want in a relationship, if love is what we're talking about. Love should never have to be earned. And if you think it should, you're either in a relationship or you're talking about something kinky!
Here's to you in becoming balanced in both giving and receiving this January, and every day going forward.
(c) 2017 by Cassendre Xavier. Permission granted to reprint with complete author credit and website: http://cassendrexavier.com. Never let it be said!