Sunday, February 21, 2016

“Me! Me! Me!” CX Museletter “Gratitude, Writing & Self-Love” ediccione

"Me! Me! Me!" A Cassendre Xavier Museletter

The "Gratitude, Writing & Self-Love" ediccione, if you will. (As it were.)

 

Sunday, February 21, 2016

 

TABLE OF CONTENTS

 

A) GREETING

1) ON SALE NOW: TICKETS TO 3/23 TIN ANGEL SHOW W/RUPERT WATES!

2) WHAT I'M GRATEFUL FOR RIGHT NOW

3) MAKE THE EFFORT FOR YOUR COMFORT

4) WRITING: MY GIFT, MY MEDICINE

5) LOVING YOURSELF ISN'T EASY, BUT YOU CAN DO IT!

6) LINKS OF INTEREST, INCLUDING THE SEXY ONES ;)

Z) FAREWELL BLESSING

 

 

CONTENTS OF TABLE

 

 

A) GREETING

I am happy to be writing to you again!

 

1)     ON SALE NOW: TICKETS TO 3/23 TIN ANGEL SHOW W/RUPERT WATES!

Wednesday, March 23rd, 2016

Tin Angel

20 S. 2nd St
PhiladelphiaPA19106

Doors 7:30 PM / Show 8:00 PM

This event is 21 and over

Tickets $12       

For artist bios and more information, please visit: http://www.ticketfly.com/event/1070809-rupert-wates-philadelphia/

Please buy tickets to support our show! If you're in or can easily get to Philadelphia, wonderful – we'd love to play for and meet you after!

 If you're not able to attend or nowhere near Philly, please support the show by ordering tickets anyway. It's an amazing way to support indie performing and recording singer-songwriters!

 Another way is to buy our music online! I've received hundreds of dollars in the last two months from the likes of YOU! Thanks to CD Baby who funnels sales through many other music sources, including Spotify, which so far is the #1 place for CX music download sales, and CD Baby for actual physical CDs (AND downloads)!

All of this happens through the magic of buying music downloads!

Order here: http://cdbaby.com/all/cassendre or through your Spotify account.

 

 

2) WHAT I'M GRATEFUL FOR RIGHT NOW

I'm using my laptop at the homeless shelter for the first time. I never even knew I could do that, until recently my friend whom I met here, used her tablet here, but I didn't know I could use my laptop in my room. I didn't know the internet here went as far as our rooms. Otherwise I would've done it all the time! The connections pretty slow and keeps stopping, but at least I can upload to the internet right away. We don't have access to certain websites (adult, music, social media, including Facebook and Twitter) but we do have the YouTubes and the Blogspots/Blogger, which are helpful to me, at least definitely the blogger because I can post to blogger via email.

 I've used the computers here at the shelter but I've not been able to stay very long or write very much or have much privacy.

 In this moment I am in my room alone, my roommate has left for the day, and well, not only do I have utmost privacy and quiet to write (which in themselves are a dream enough alone), but I also realized earlier today I can masturbate! I mean, I haven't done it yet, but it is very good to know!

 

I feel free excited, hopeful, expected, unworried, unhurried, secure, loved, reassured, self-contained, friend supported, gifted, miraculous, and just right as a chyk learning to live with bipolar disorder, PTSD, and as a survivor of child sexual abuse. I don't know why I feel so good (quit yer jokes about it being the bipolar!).

 I think writing is good medicine. There's more:

 

3) MAKE THE EFFORT FOR YOUR COMFORT

I feel good today because:

Yesterday I took the time to remove my bags of belongings from the shelter's storage unit into my new and hopefully temporary room. I'd been wanting to wait a few days until the snafu was hopefully corrected, but Spirit/Inner Wise Self indicated I was postponing my comfort. Even though it would mean more work, of moving to another room here for the 3rd time in less than one week, I had to tell myself I am worth the effort. I deserve to feel comfortable, and I'd rather be okay with doing the work over and over again of making Cassendre comfortable, because in doing so I am telling the universe, and everyone else who encounters me, that I am worthy of repeated effort to be more comfortable. I talked about this in my Soulmate Attraction for the Rest of Us workshop yesterday at the Poly Living Conference in Philadelphia (www.lovemore.com). Do whatever is necessary to make yourself more comfortable, whether it's getting up to walk across the room for the blanket, or get a glass of water, or whatever. If you don't make the effort, you're telling the universe and everyone who meets you that you're not worth the effort.

 As soon as had lugged the 5 trash bags full o' my stuff into my room, I felt so much better. I felt as if in that action I had committed a good prayer for my soul and inner being, which then positively impacted and influence my outer being.

 Although I was tired and very sleepy (the latter due to my having recently begun taking a medication for my hypertension – a gentle diuretic or "water pill"), I proceeded to prayerfully and methodically unpack my things and place them in the closet and drawers. I wasn't that neat about putting them in the drawers, I just shoved them in there for the evening. But the extras were neatly put in my closet and I went to bed content and proud of my effortational units.

 

4) WRITING: MY GIFT, MY MEDICINE

I have my writing. My writing is saving my life. I know this is rambling but I have a headache, lunch started in about a half hour and I want to do as much writing as I can before going to that.

 

How writing is helping me:

 

I journal every night. It clears my mind of things that happened during the day and gives me a place to talk about my feelings, which is helpful as I socially isolate a lot.

It helps me improve my eating habits.

It gets your attention and maybe creates a little bit of a buzz about my work so that then more people know about me and then some of those people buy stuff and then my life's a little easier J

 

It gets the mess outta my head which I need as a person living with bipolar disorder.

 

It releases some of my creative energy which is very important to my wellbeing.

 

But enough about me…How are YOU?

 

5) LOVING YOURSELF ISN'T EASY, BUT YOU CAN DO IT!

One thing that surprised me at my Soulmate Attraction workshop yesterday was how thirsty, hungry, and eager the attendees were to hear about ways they can love themselves more. They really enjoyed hearing all the things they could do to add more joy, love, romance, and excitement in their lives, solo, while anticipating the arrival of their ideal mate(s).

 

We so often forget that this self-love thing is hard for absolutely everyone. We are not socialized to spend time caring for our own emotional, physical, romantic, or even sexual needs.

I shared how even now, well into her 80s, affirmation goddess Louise Hay, even with all her wealth and affluence as founder of world-renowned personal transformation publisher Hay House, still writes and speaks her affirmations and hugs herself in the mirror, looking into her eyes and saying, "I love you, I really really love you". Every day. Every day.

 

So, please don't feel bad if self-love is a challenge for you. It's a challenge for even the most practiced and seemingly expert at it. Just keep doing it. And enjoy yourself. You are worth it!

 

6) LINKS OF INTEREST, INCLUDING THE SEXY ONES ;)

Cassendre Xavier

(aka Amethyste Rah, aka Amrita Waterfalls)

"renaissance negresse & ARTrepreneur"

(musician/writer/actress/fine artist)

$15,000 Leeway Transformation Award-Winning founder & executive director of the Black Women's Arts Festival (Est. 2003 http://BWAFphilly.org) and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002 http://WomensWritingSeries.org). 

Musical & guided meditation albums and tracks:

https://cassendrexavier.bandcamp.com

At CD Baby: http://cdbaby.com/all/cassendre 

At iTunes: http://apple.co/1K7zV5g

On Amazon: http://amzn.to/1xrklOW

Blog: http://cassendrexavier.blogspot.com

Writing: Wisdom Magazine: http://wisdom-magazine.com/ArticleArchives.aspx?isLike=true&author=cassendre%20xavier and more: http://bit.ly/1LjFjnR

Erotica: http://amritawaterfalls.blogspot.com/2016/02/with-pleasure-finallyout-of-erotic.html Official website: http://cassendrexavier.com

 

 

Z) FAREWELL BLESSING

May you feel content every day.

May you learn to be your primary partner and very best friend.

May you have a rich spiritual practice that sustains and encourages you.

May your health be good and vibrant.

May you be surrounded by friends and loved ones whom you trust.

May you be balanced in your receiving and giving of love and support.

May your creative outlets be well used, appreciated, and supported.

May you love what you see in the mirror, not because of your appearance, but because you have learned to love and accept yourself completely, period.

This, or something better, and may it be for the good of all.

 

 

Thank you for reading,

 

Cassendre

 

 

© 2016 Copyright by Cassendre Xavier. All rightzen reservanitzken. And I mean it! (Permission granted to NON-commercially reprint some or all content, provided the copyright credit name and contact link are given: http://cassendrexavier.com)

 

Friday, February 19, 2016

Healing My Eating Disorder One Meal at a Time

Tonight at the Poly Living Conference I had a marvelous time at the desk of the registration table, helping out as I had the first year I attended in 2012 (since then I've attended as a participant and presented workshops). 
 As I waited in the lobby for my shuttle to the train station, I became increasingly upset and it ended up being an hour long wait, and I missed my earlier train. The staffpersun apologized by offering me food and drink at the gift shop/store. 
 I selected a tuna hoagie and green tea beverage (no real juices available). 
 Then when I arrived at the station I ate the sandwich - (finished it on the train). I was full before. I'd eaten a large mango and a half on the way there, and tortilla chips and cheese and chocolate while there. I was quite sated with the foodstuffs. 
 On the train as I finished the last bit of the sandwich the whole process of consuming it having been painful from the beginning - wrought with anxiety and the opposite of stillness (I wondered if I was mindfully eating since I was so aware of everything I was feeling). 
 After I ate it on the train, I had a breakthrough. As I proceeded my usual "study" and "experience" of all the negative emotions and physical effects of having yet once again overeaten in frustration (over hour late shuttle) and sadness (I realized I didn't really want to leave my friends at the conference. i wanted to stay and flirt and go to the dark bar and stay the night with a new or familiar lover - I didn't want to leave)... I realized: 

No. 
You do NOT get to keep telling the same story over and over again. You do NOT get to talk (to yourself or anyone else) about how you feel after having abused yourself once again.

Normally I would talk about how I feel after having overeaten. 

This time I said No. I will no longer talk about this. I will only celebrate everything in my life.
 
If I abuse myself, I'm gonna have to keep my big  yappa shutta.

If I want to talk about my eating. It's only gonna be good stuff.

Somethin' oughta happen with this. It feels right.


Cassendre

Wednesday, February 10, 2016

“Me! Me! Me!” CX Museletter “If Not Now” Ediccione

"Me! Me! Me!" CX Museletter "If Not Now" Ediccione

  1. Greeting
  1. If Not Now
  2. Finally, Really and Truly OUT of the Erotic Closet
  3. Upcoming Appearances
  4. Thanks for Buying My Music! (Spotify & CD Baby)
     Z)  Bring Forth That Which Is Within You



  1. Greeting
           Happy to be writing to you again!

  1. If Not Now
When I was 26 I wanted to make erotic, well, alright, pornographic videos. Sunday I turned 47. If not now, when?
When I was a teenager, I wanted to become a famous singer (now I would add "financially successful") singer. If not now, when?
I've long considered myself a later bloomer. But at some point I will be a dead bloomer and before that happens I want as many pages of my dream journal in the sky to be filled up here on earth.
Here's to doing what you love and being who you are. And to me, in whatever ways I am, inspiring you along the way.

2) Finally, Really and Truly OUT of the Erotic Closet
I joined Philly's LGBT, Poly, and Kink/BDSM, and pagan communities in the early 1990s. I've always been a fan of erotic videos and have written erotic pieces for Hair to Stay magazine and a biographical essay for the SandMUtopian Guardian: a Journal of BDSM Realities. I attended and met people I would later develop relationships with at Cafe Kinks, run by my friend Kali Diana Morgan, owner of Passional Boutique and Sexploratorium. Passional used to be called Fetishes and I worked at it then. In the introduction of my song "To Be" on my album "Live at Tin Angel", I talk about how I met a lover there when I saw him spanking one of his girlfriends. Trivia: I later dated him, and at yet another fabulous Cafe Kink, I introduced him to a Fetishes co-worker of mine, who he also later dated, and now she's good friends with Penn Jillette (of famous Vegas entertainment magician duo Penn & Teller), whom I've sold popcorn and soda to (when I worked the concession sales at Ritz 5 movie theater at 2nd and Walnut) and whom I also have had messaging conversation with on Facebooks, The. It's a small, small, small tiny ass world full of run-on sentences!
P.S. Ever since I saw the super tall Penn across my counter, and how the huge popcorn container was dwarfed in his hands. I drooled over the large silver labrys charm on his necklace (a Lesbian pride symbol), strongly sensing his deep respect for and erotic connection to wimmin-loving-wimmin (I was proved correct in our correspondence), and later was further aroused by reading that he'd patented a hot tub feature that gives women pleasure in the water. Plus I saw a documentary once in which he talked about his love of scientists, how they are his rock stars and how he goes to their conventions and takes them out to dinner. I pretty much was done there. I am such a nerd and so into scientists. And FetLife introduced me to a new word "sapiosexual". That's someone who's turned on by intelligence!
Now where was I? Oh yeah, I have fetishes, hence my having an account at FetLife wherein I get to explore these with my other co-kinksters on and offline. If you identify as such, you may visit my erotic museletter With Pleasure: Amrita Waterfalls Speaks, and read the post called "With Pleasure: Finally...OUT of the Erotic Closet" which contains instructions on how to view my erotic content on FetLife and on xhamster where I also have an account. Link: http://amritawaterfalls.blogspot.com/2016/02/with-pleasure-finallyout-of-erotic.html

3) Upcoming Appearances
  1. Soulmate Attraction for the Rest of Us: Dating & Relationships for the Poly, Recovering, Survivor & Tantric (for the 2nd year in a row) at the Poly Living Conference Fri-Sun, Feb. 19-21 in Philadelphia. For info: http://www.lovemore.com/conferences/polyliving/philadelphia. To read my articles of the same title at Wisdom Magazine, visit http://wisdom-magazine.com/ArticleArchives.aspx?isLike=true&author=cassendre%20xavier
  2. Wed, March 23rd I'll be performing at the Tin Angel again (I've performed there many times, including releasing my CD Hope there in Feb 2015, and recording my album Live at Tin Angel there in 2006.) This time, for the first time, I will be one of only two acts, instead of the usual three or four. My dear friend and birthday buddy (we both had a birthday this past Sunday February 7!) Rupert Wates (http://RupertWatesMusic.com)  will be headlining, and you don't want to miss this show! Tickets/info: http://tinangel.com

4) Thanks for Buying My Music! (Spotify & CD Baby)
In January I received around $344 and in February I received around $289, mostly from YOUR downloading my music and buying it at Spotify, and also a little from buying my CDs at CD Baby. Thank you so much! http://cdbaby.com/all/cassendre
You can also listen to much of my music, and guided meditation albums, for free at http://cassendrexavier.bandcamp.com.


Z)  Bring Forth That Which Is Within You
"If you bring forth that which is within you, that which is within you will save you. If you do not bring forth that which is within you, that which is within you will destroy you." --Jesus Christ according to the Gnostic Gospel of Thomas

Thank you and see you next time!




--

--
Make yourself a beautiful day!

Cassendre Xavier
(aka Amethyste Rah, aka Amrita Waterfalls)
"renaissance negresse & ARTrepreneur"
(musician/writer/actress/fine artist)
$15,000 Leeway Transformation Award-Winning founder & executive director of the Black Women's Arts Festival (Est. 2003 http://BWAFphilly.org) and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002 http://WomensWritingSeries.org).
Musical & guided meditation albums and tracks:
Yoga Classes & Writings: http://bit.ly/1VQZZxU
Official website: http://cassendrexavier.com




Wednesday, February 3, 2016

Why I Love the Idea of Vincent Gallo

Because he is a renaissance man:
Vincent Gallo (b. 1961) is an American actor, director, model, musician and painter.

Because he likes to have the sex, on (See "Brown Bunny") and off-screen.

Because he sells everything he does, including making babies or live trying. The balls on this guy. We should all be so alive: http://www.vgmerchandise.com/store/pages.php?pageid=4


Official website:


--

-- 
Make yourself a beautiful day!

Cassendre Xavier
(aka Amethyste Rah, aka Amrita Waterfalls)
"renaissance negresse & ARTrepreneur"
(musician/writer/actress/fine artist)
$15,000 Leeway Transformation Award-Winning founder & executive director of the Black Women's Arts Festival (Est. 2003 http://BWAFphilly.org) and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002 http://WomensWritingSeries.org). 
Musical & guided meditation albums and tracks:
Yoga Classes & Writings: http://bit.ly/1VQZZxU 
Official website: http://cassendrexavier.com

Monday, February 1, 2016

International Month, Week & Day of Black Women in the Arts

Dear Friends!

February is International Month of Black Women in The Arts, sponsored by The Black Women's Arts Festival!

Celebrate by:

a) Learning about black women in the fine, performing, literary, culinary, and healing arts!
b) Becoming a m/patron to a black woman in the aforementioned arts!
c) Take a big step in forwarding your own identity (not necessarily career) as a black woman in the aforementioned arts!
d) Network with or subscribe to news by and about The Black Women's Arts Festival, an annual showcase of multi-media creative and healing arts, and workshops by black women in Philadelphia, since 2003. BWAF Philly is, and always, has been, "open to all respectful persons." It's by us, for everyone! 
If you missed the most recent one (October 24-26, 2015), be sure not to miss the next!

In art, sisterhood, and community,

Cassendre Xavier
renaissance negresse (musician, writer, actress, fine artist)
$15,000 Leeway Transformation Award-Winning
Founder & Executive Director of The Black Women's Arts Festival
http://BWAFphilly.org
https://www.facebook.com/BWAFfanpage
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BWAFphilly

Very special thanks to Sheila Cicchi for including our events in her wonderful Brownielocks website of wonderful holidays!

Also see our sponsored holiday week:

Feb. 7-15 - International Week of Black Women in The Arts
*Feb. 7 - International Day of Black Women in The Arts

*Founder's Birthday ;)