Sunday, March 27, 2016

Goddess Sundays: Trees as Portals & Proof

GODDESS SUNDAYS (where every week we explore feminine aspects of the divine): Trees are one of the most powerful portals to, and "proofs" of Goddess. That's why we are drawn to touch them.

- []​ (aka Endowed Goddess (porny), aka Amrita Waterfalls (sexual), aka Amethyste Rah (spiritual)]

Goddess Sundays: Sensing Goddess Within

GODDESS SUNDAYS (where every week we explore feminine aspects of the divine): I believe if we stop running around for five seconds, and tune into our Inner Wise Self, almost everyone will sense Goddess within.

- []​ (aka Endowed Goddess (porny), aka Amrita Waterfalls (sexual), aka Amethyste Rah (spiritual)]

Goddess Sundays: Is Goddess Real?

GODDESS SUNDAYS (where every week we explore feminine aspects of the divine): I will not say, "Goddess is real." I do invite you to quietly search your heart, mind, and soul for Her Presence.

- []​ (aka Endowed Goddess (porny), aka Amrita Waterfalls (sexual), aka Amethyste Rah (spiritual)]

Have you visited my Bandcamp page?

Dear Friendular Type Units!

As it may have been drummed and harped into ya by now :) all of my musical CDs are available for review and sale-ation at CD Baby. However, I also have them at Bandcamp, where you can hear all the tracks of the albums posted there, plus do the same of my spoken word guided meditations Affirmations for Survivors: Self-Love, and Affirmations for Survivors: Spirituality (released in 2007 under my self-assigned spiritual name of Amethyste Rah).

I would LOVE for you to explore this storefront, and really get your CX groove on there! Sure, they're available for purchase there as well, but my real bread and butter of online digital music download sales seems to be coming from The Spotifies ( so iffn' you happen to have an account there, do search my name (properly spelled with two E's not just one, please :)  ) and support my art/work, and therefore, life.

You know I appreciate you, because everything I do shows it!

Much love to you on this sunny Easter Sunday,

Cassendre Xavier

(aka Amethyste Rah, aka Amrita Waterfalls, aka Endowed Goddess)

renaissance negresse

(Award-winning multi-media healing artist & Community cultural arts organizer)

Goddess Sundays: No Conversion, Only Expansion

GODDESS SUNDAYS (where every week we explore feminine aspects of the divine): I'm not trying to convert you. I seek only to support you in your expansion and experience of life and Spirit.

Goddess Sundays: Misogynous Much?

GODDESS SUNDAYS (where every week I explore the female aspects of the divine): If believing in a female deity is very difficult for you, you may want to check yourself for misogyny.

Wednesday, March 23, 2016

Law of Attraction: Singation (without Representation)

LAW OF ATTRACTION: Singing to yourself throughout your day is an easy and effective way to raise your vibration.

Friday, March 18, 2016

3rd Anniversary of My Partner’s Passing

Today is the third anniversary of my partner Tom's passing. We were together for 4 years, which for someone like me and for someone like him (we were not easy people :), was quite a feat.

I don't have much more to say about this right now. I don't have a lot of energy to talk about it.

I express my feelings creatively, and for now I can share this with you:

My Wisdom Magazine article Love Never Dies: Afterlife Communication with Deceased Loved Ones



Tags: death, grief, grieving, spouse, loss, sympathy, condolences

How to Not Commit Suicide (Bipolar Chronicles)

[Disclaimer: I am not at all suicidal. Just a little depressed and a lot committed to wording things exactly the way I want to be worded. And that's what this piece wanted to be called.]

How to Not Commit Suicide (Bipolar Chronicles)

by Cassendre Xavier

Don't even entertain the thought

There are lots of other things to think about

Write songs like "Happy to be Alive"
Do things that make you happy

Make love with friends and lovers

Be highly creative

Get postcards like this one:

"15 March 2016

My dear, precious friend,

I am listening right now to your beautiful music on CD Baby and Bandcamp.

You are a true community heroine, a shining star, and a beautiful example of a life full of sharing your creative gift with the world.  

Your friend,



Thursday, March 17, 2016

Tin Angel show Canceled!

Dear Friends,

Due to lack of advance ticket sales, my show with Rupert Wates scheduled for Wednesday, March 23rd at Tin Angel was canceled today at my request. 
 I understand that many people do purchase their tickets at the door, and I could've reminded folks to buy tickets online to ensure that the show did go on, but it just felt right to let this dream go for now.
 When the time and conditions are perfect, you will see us again :)

Love, light, and orgasms,


Tuesday, March 15, 2016

I Just Updated the Erotica Page of My Website!

Updated 15 March 2016

“If you bring forth that which is within you, that which is within you will save you. If you do not bring forth that which is within you, that which is within you will destroy you.” -Jesus Christ, according to the Gnostic Gospel of Thomas
“At 38 I decided to completely accept my sexuality plus design my own religion. Why should others have all the God and unashamed sex?” -Rev. CX (Ordained Interfaith Minister since September 2010)
Since 1991 I have ministered in my own ways through the creative and healing erotic arts. Since 1996 I have wanted to publicly share my erotic journey, but either released nothing or very little due to fear. In 2016 I turned 47 and it is now or never, fear or no fear. I’m coming out erotically bit by bit day by day and it feels fantastic, freeing, and safe.
By keeping the focus on my mission of sharing joy and healing (including of my own self as a child sexual abuse survivor reclaiming and celebrating my sexuality), of uplifting and supporting others on their sexual exploration journey, along with the love of erotic friends and my spiritual sex mentors beginning with Mary Magdalene and as always, my angels, I am enjoying the journey immensely.
You are invited to take the journey with us at:, where I write my erotic blogs and occasional “With Pleasure” positive sexuality museletter.
For the exceptionally bold, progressive, and adventurous among you – you who do not fear the explicit, I am Endowed Goddess on FetLife and xhamster
So, there you have it. It’s ALL out there now. Don’t say I didn’t warn ya! ;)
Seriously, though, kids. Just have fun and play safe.
With pleasure,
*Amrita Waterfalls
[*Amrita is Sanskrit for “nectar” or “ambrosia” and it is a term commonly used in Taoist and Tantric sex circles. Image: “Black Robe Sensual”. Taken by one of my erotic friends, under my artistic and other direction, of course. ;) ]

Monday, March 14, 2016

Dear Chest, Stomach, and Heart: I’m Sorry

teaching yoga with a beard at BWAF Philly 2015

by Cassendre Xavier

Dear chest, stomach, and heart

I'm sorry

I'm sorry I don't have control of my eating

And I'm hurt you so much over the last few days

Even though I know I ought not

I ate heavy, fatty foods I knew would strain you

And hurt you

And make you cry

I'm sorry

I'm sorry I cannot control my eating

And that I have not been able to since I was a child

I know that I have been this way since I was very small

And 27 years of twelve-step "programming" didn't help, either

I'm sorry

I'm sorry I cannot control my eating

As I type at this computer

Completely bent over from the pain

In my chest, stomach and heart

I'm sorry

I'm sorry I ate not one but two large

Chocolate bars today

And no fruit whatsoever

I'm sorry

I'm sorry I drank a fraction of the amount

Of water I ought to drink every day

Especially given my size, my weight

And the prescription drugs I'm putting you through

Will you forgive me?

Can you forgive me?

The angels tell you me you already have

And that, being Nature, you cannot help

But to do your job

You work for me

You work for god

You work for Goddess who leads him

I thank you, chest

I thank you, stomach,

And I thank you, heart

For being with me and working for us

Each day, whether I am giving you much to work with

Or not

Whether I am going easy on you

Or not

I thank you, chest

I thank you, stomach,

And I thank you, heart

I continue to try

And pray to do better

The angels tell me to recognize my progress

Not be hard on myself

And focus on things getting better for me in all ways

Including my gentle treatment of you

And all who work for me

I now focus on the gentle treatment of myself

And I recognize my progress:

Other than when I go "off the wagon" I eat more healthfully

Every year that passes

It is my progress that makes me notice

When I've done badly

It is my progress that has raised my standards for myself

It is my progress that allows me to write this blog

Because I know I am healing

I know I'm getting better, even though I still do things

That make me want and need to say

I'm sorry.

[Image: Cassendre Xavier teaching yoga with a beard at the 9th Black Women's Arts Festival - BWAF Philly 2015, at The Rotunda. Credit: Gina Renzi.]

© 2016 Copyright by Cassendre Xavier (aka Amethyste Rah, aka Amrita Waterfalls). All rights reserved. Permission is granted to share this ethically as long as the previous credit and following link are included: http://



Wed March 23rd, 7:30pm doors/8:00pm show. Live music concert at with the wonderful He's from England!

More trivia: I sang his song "Snow in New York" on his album Joe's Cafe, and you can watch me singing it live at the Metropolitan Room in Manhattan here!

Tix: $12

Adults 21+ Only

Tin Angel

20 S. 2nd St

Philadelphia, PA 19107


On the Rag Again - Willie Nelson Parody (with Lyrics)

Dear Friendation Types!
As you know I make it my mission in life to share all joys therein, so as to invite others to be a celebratin' with me!
Well, I have so much love in my heart for the blood that comes from my girlhole!
It is day two of my glorious moon cycle and even though I just had a blow out that required cleanage I am still joyous and blessed for having worn pants seemingly of the perfect material for just such an occurification!
I dare and invite you to enjoy a little dittie country great Willie Nelson and I wrote together a long long time ago! We just made the song in two separate studios, in two separate decades. You know - the usual!
Easy to remember link:
A funny song about that Time of the Month by singer-songwriter Cassendre Xavier a.k.a. Amethyste Rah aka Amrita Waterfalls
On the Rag Again (words by Cassendre Xavier and Willie Nelson, music by Willie Nelson)

on the rag again
oh i'm so glad to be on the rag again
some women say that it's a great big drag for them
but i'm so glad to be on the rag again

on the rag again
guess you could say that i'm a bleedin' fan
oh how i love to welcome my sweet monthly friend
i celebrate being on the rag again

on the rag again
like a herd of witches circling round the moon
it's that time again
the PMS and cramps, it all can't come too soon
i think i'm gonna swoon

'cos i'm on the rag again
everyone knows i'm on the rag again
'cos i can't stop myself from saying when i can
that i'm so glad to be on the rag again
so true i'm glad to be on the rag again
yeah this here gal is on the rag again
guess what, you guys, i'm on the rag again
don't hate me 'cos i'm on the rag again
so beautiful to be on the rag again

(c) Copyright by Cassendre Xavier. All rights reserved. (That's the parody part. All the Willie Nelson part is his own copyright and stuff like that there.)
Tags: parody, menstruation, period, moon, cycle, funny, humor, comedy, laughter, healing, power, goddess, spirit, red, tent, ritual, Susan, Weed, Billie, Potts, heal, wise, womon, womyn, wimmin, herbal, herb, fun, renaissance, negresse.


Make yourself a beautiful day!

Cassendre Xavier

(aka Amethyste Rah, aka Amrita Waterfalls)

"renaissance negresse & ARTrepreneur"

(musician/writer/actress/fine artist)

$15,000 Leeway Transformation Award-Winning founder & executive director of the Black Women's Arts Festival (Est. 2003 and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002 

Musical & guided meditation albums and tracks:

At CD Baby: 

At iTunes:

On Amazon:


Writing: Wisdom Magazine: and more:

Erotica: Official website:

Saturday, March 12, 2016

Beautiful and Refined

Dear Friendal Units!

One of my missions these days is to blog regularly. Blog as much as I poop, basically. And I poops, a lot! Well, okay, I may not be able to blog quite that much (my "releasements" as it were, tend to be on par with the more, ahem, "equine" species, if you will. (As it were.)
So, EENteeway, my buddy Kaister and I were on a trolley yesterday talking as we usually do about positive things, angels, goals and our efforts and progress at reaching them.
I suppose they might have been considered "beautiful" and "refined" thoughts (there's a reference to this later, I promise!), so a couple of men boarded the trolley with their carts which appeared the be the sort of which one might see street vendors use.
One sat in front of us, a 20-something dredlucked brown man (brown like Moi!), and I didn't really keep noticing him until I noticed he would turn around and look at me every now and then. He wasn't intrusive so it didn't bother me or find it disrespectful.
I just kept talking and at some point, he turned around and said, "Excuse me, I don't want to bother you but I also didn't want you to leave before I had a chance to tell you, but I was listening to you talk and your speech is really beautiful and refined." I smiled, or probably beamed is more like it, and said, "I'm sorry could you repeat the last part please? Beautiful and…?" (I thought I'd heard "refined" but wasn't quite sure, and wasn't daring to hope for such a high compliment.)
He confirmed with his answer, "Beautiful and refined." I smiled soooo hard and said, "Wow! Thank you soooo much. Really!" And then I said, "Would you be okay with a hug?" And he said, "Sure.." and we hugged - he smelled very nice, like one of those oils the brothas wear.
I said, "Are you a vendor?" He said, "Yes."
Then a couple of stops later, he and his partner grabbed the stuff and disembarked.
Besides the obvious, here's what else was special to me about that moment:

  1. It confirmed for me not only my intention and efforts to sound this way, but that I'm actually being effective.
  2. It reminded me of something I saw on Inside the Actor's Studio: Robert De Niro. In the final five questions, when asked, "What turns you on?" At least I think that was the question, his answer was, "Refinement." I love that soooo much, not only because he's known as a master of his craft, and grew up with two artist parents who probably were the first to instill in him the concept, value, and goal of refinement, but also for the fact that he has a strong predilection for and attraction to my melanin-enriched sort of womon! I'm not saying one is not "refined" unless one has a certain level of darkness of skin - of course that wouldn't be a good thing to say, but since the mind has so many places to go that are perfectly permissible, I have still always had the story in my mind, because it pleases me to do so, that black women are the most refined one can find. And I assure you that if I were a red-haired Celtic lass, that is exactly the same I'd say about myself and my own kind!

Enjoy life, thanks for listening, and please attend or online support my following show with ordering tix in absentia!

Wed March 23rd, 7:30pm doors/8:00pm show. Live music concert at with the wonderful He's from England!
More trivia: I sang his song "Snow in New York" on his album Joe's Cafe, and you can watch me singing it live at the Metropolitan Room in Manhattan here!
Tix: $12
Adults 21+ Only
Tin Angel
20 S. 2nd St
Philadelphia, PA 19107


Make yourself a beautiful day!

Cassendre Xavier
(aka Amethyste Rah, aka Amrita Waterfalls)
"renaissance negresse & ARTrepreneur"
(musician/writer/actress/fine artist)
$15,000 Leeway Transformation Award-Winning founder & executive director of the Black Women's Arts Festival (Est. 2003 and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002
Musical & guided meditation albums and tracks:
(And if you're still reading you might be interested to know I did just a few days ago post two new exceedingly explicit photos on both of the erotic websites I play and write on, which you will have to do just a little bit of research to find. Funny how this is literally the only area in my life I play hard to get in. Literally. :)

© Copyright 2016 blah blah blah. All respects given heretofor therein good buddy already.

Thursday, March 10, 2016

The Gastritis Got Me! (Or: How I Got Over My Fear of Pharmaceutical Drugs)

Dear Friends,

So, on Friday night around 9pm, I started feeling a very strong abdominal pain much like one I'd experienced in the end of May 2015, wherein I was just a touch doubled-over in extreme pain for five days straight.
This time I thought I'd wait it out again, too, but when, in my bed at about 1:00am Saturday I was in such pain, I called out (in my mindal units), "Angels, please help me!" I sensed their immediate and characteristically both stern and gentle reply, "Go to the emergency room!" So, I was all, "Okay. It's gonna hurt all this movin' around and all, but I trust ya. Y'all ain't never steered me wrong yet!" (It didn't sound anything like that, but you know what I mean.)
 I called ye olde nine-one-one and soon the EMTs were over, wheeling me into the van to take me to the ER.
I was in such agonational qualities I couldn't even sit upright. I had to lie on my side, and once I was actually on my knees in the well-known Catholic prayer position. (You know that one, doncha?)
I arrived at the ER at 3:00am. I left there at 12:30pm with a diagnosis of gastritis (severe acid flare-up of the esophageal reggiones) and a prescription for daily antacid tablet Prilosec.
Sunday night I took one, and then I saw on YouTube this raw vegan chyk talking about how cabbage juice cured her similar digestive issues (cabbage juice is well known to do this) and how banana milk (bananas and water in a blender) is a wonderful and perfect thing to consume when your food-managing innards have gone awry.
Even though I'd already, after the diagnosis, began eating only bananas, grapes, and drinking water, I decided, when she said that drugs to stop your body from making as much acid, are bad, I thought: Yeah! My body didn't do anything wrong by producing the amount of acid it did - my behavior triggered the response. So I quit the Prilosec after one dose.
But then the pain was just so bad and wouldn't relent for very much or for very long, even after my using turmeric and ginger, both known anti-inflammatorational devices, and good for the stomach.
Yesterday I had a follow up appointment with my primary care provider (what a bogus title - I am my own primary care provider!) who's a nurse practitioner - I love them. The follow up was about how a new blood pressure medication I'd recently begun was working out. While I was there I told her about the gastritis, which she said she also has.
She told me what works for her (drinking lots and lots of water, and eating plain, totally oil-butter-fat free mashed potatoes), and she encouraged me to take the Prilosec.
She helped me see that it isn't about being on a drug forever (sorry, Larry the Cable Guy!), but using something to stop the immediate discomfort. She said I could just take it for a week if I want. It really helped to know I didn't need to make a lifetime commitment to it. So I took it right there in her office. And I took it again today at 12:30pm.
Last night at about 1:00am I felt significantly better, although about 6 hours later I started feeling more pain again. It does take 1-4 days for the effects to be felt.

Here's what I've learned in this process, and in the process of beginning medication for my hypertension:

  1. You don't have to be afraid of pharmaceutical drugs. Sure, the industry's got a lot of evil and corruptation in it, but medicines have helped many people live longer and healthier lives, too. What convinced me to finally try hypertension meds again was that one of my mental health providers told me that with medication his blood pressure now is "perfect". I like the idea of doing that myself, and to stop straining my system by ignoring the problem. I used to think I could use just health food and raw veganism to cure every major health problem in my life, the main ones being my bipolar disorder and hypertension. But it takes certain resources, not only money and a place to have your juicer and blender and stuff, but these resources must be consistent, for many years, to make a positive and lasting effect on your health. If you're like me, and you're not able to guarantee that, consider medication until you are.
  2. It doesn't have to be forever. You can take medications temporarily, and stop when you've created other systems to maintain your wellness.
  3. It doesn't have be your sole source of wellness. The best plan is one that includes other things with whatever you're doing: Exercise, time with loved ones, creative outlets, prayer and meditation, etc. Medication is not a magic pill, any more than raw veganism or uber healthfood lifestyle alone the cure all.
  4. You can always detox later. Drugs do have toxins, but focusing on that delays your success in treating other life-threatening issues. Put out the big fires first, by any means blah blah blah.
  5. Taking medication is a sign of increased self-care. Being diligent about taking it every day, and roughly the same time every day, the way you're instructed to, be it with food, or before bed or whatever, and doing the other things you need to do to ensure that it has the best chance of working, such as not using alcohol or consume anything that will weaken or negatively interact with it - all this is called being in compliance. Being in compliance with your treatment says "I love myself" and that you matter. The universe says Yes! and sends other experiences to affirm that belief.

I would like to share my success in reaching a goal I set for myself - to blog more - NOW, regardless of the conditions in my life.
So, even though I'm typing in the back office of a bookstore, on my laptop, and am in some amount of pain and wanting to go home and get into my bed right away, I am sitting here writing because I promised myself that I would. Because "I love myself" and "I matter."

May you do and feel the same.

Blessings and Light,


Next live concert: Wed. March 23, 2016, at Tin Angel, with Rupert Wates


Make yourself a beautiful day!

Cassendre Xavier
(aka Amethyste Rah, aka Amrita Waterfalls)
"renaissance negresse & ARTrepreneur"
(musician/writer/actress/fine artist)
$15,000 Leeway Transformation Award-Winning founder & executive director of the Black Women's Arts Festival (Est. 2003 and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002 
Musical & guided meditation albums and tracks:
Yoga Classes & Writings: 
Official website: