Thursday, August 13, 2015

Sorry I Didn't Make it Tonight...(Weaver's Way & Big Blue Marble)

Dear Friends,

[WARNING: Bipolar rant! :)]

Last night I emailed you that I was performing music tonight at Weaver's Way Mt. Airy for their "Truckin' Thursday" event around 5pm and then participating just around the corner at Big Blue Marble bookstore's "Poets in Philly" event at around 6 (originally scheduled to be the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series). Well, thanks to a bunch of travel hullabaloo, including SEPTA's trolley diversion at 40th St, and my arriving at 5:30pm at Olney Transportation Center instead of Erie Station to transfer to the H bus that I needed, I canceled both appearances (because I wouldn't have made it on time). 
 I am now back in West Philly, with my guitar and CDs and my cute little outfit, crying because I'm tired of wasting my talent. I really need places to play and I need a lot more gigs - gigs that are booked months in advance, for one. And I also need an office where I can write for hours and print what I've written to examine and edit. I am sooooo tired of not having the tools I need to fully create as an artist!!!! It upsets me and leaves me out of sorts and I end up doing things like mistaking Olney for Erie and missing opportunities to play for people and sell CDs. I'm tired of it.
 Anger can be good. It reminded me that I have the power to change things if I'm unhappy. But we can't really fully access our power until we've first acknowledged our need for change. Hopefully these tears of frustration weren't a waste of time. My future performance schedule will tell.

Thanks for listening and if you went to see and missed me, my apologies again,


Cassendre Xavier
(aka Amethyste Rah, aka Amrita Waterfalls)
"renaissance negresse & ARTrepreneur"
(musician/writer/actress/fine artist)
Leeway Transformation Award-Winning founder & executive director of the Black Women's Arts Festival (Est. 2003) and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002). 

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