Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Diary of a renaissance negresse: Kitchen Love

Diary of a renaissance negresse

Kitchen Love

So I was standing there marveling at how thoroughly I could ruin a meal - the sweet and spicy Italian sausages were burned on one side, raw on the other, and the onions had been in the pan with an oil+butter blend for too long, so they too were dark brown.
 As I continued to labor over what I saw in the family magazine earlier and was inspired by (not realizing there's a big difference between that recipes pre-cooked sausages and my raw ones, I thought, "Man, I am a horrible cook!" Then, I remembered, 1) I don't like Italian cooking (as a carb addict and overeater especially into starches of all kinds, the pasta is my immediate enemy, and as a food combiner the tomato sauces always give me indigestion), I mean I don't even like Italian cooking shows, and 2) I'm really into Asian-style cooking - flash sauteeing, with lots of veggies and little meat. When I cook what I love, I do it well.
 This made me think of my relationships - and how I'm much kinder with people I'm actually compatible with. Why do we so often settle for less than that? 
 I think sometimes being a lightworker complicates matters. We want to "be loving" and so we "accept" a lot more than we probably ought to. But in the end, who wins? Am I not being unkind to the other persun if I am not bringing my best, because I'm so hung up on some of their qualities that rub me the wrong way? 
 I am going to put more time into doing things that make me happy, and as I do I'll attract people I'm happier with, and who can be happier with me.
 And in order to do that, I need to reach out to those I feel that with, and not be shy or think they're too good to be true (everyone is - because everyone is flawed).
 And in order to do that I need to be sure my moods are under control, because right now the best I can do is write letters and send my love to others via my art/works.
 As I cooked (and thankfully salvaged our meal), I realized there's no difference between poly living, relationship choice, cooking what I love, and choosing compatible friends and lovers - each activity requires getting centered within oneself, and doing what you want based on what brings you joy - creating your own rules and then inviting others to enjoy your creations.
 It may look like there's a lot of abundance and saying yes to many people and things, but there's also a lot of selection and saying no.
 Because I don't want to burn sausage anymore, I'm going to avoid cooking it, and go back to the stir-fry I love so much and because I love it so much I prepare it very well. I'm going to focus on short grain brown rice whose glutenous consistency and nutty flavor I find so nurturing and satisfying. And I'll leave the pasta and other things to those who do it best. I know for the next and last weeks at my host family's, there will be more meats and pastas, but I can enjoy remembering and also prepare for myself now as I return to doing it for myself at my own home in the very near future, my own diet. 
 And I will do the same in attracting and selecting my romances, friendships, and professional associations.
 And enjoy with full gratitude and appreciation the ride and my choices in the meantime.
 The life, it is good, and so is this meal I'm about to eat:

Ziti
Sweet and spicy Italian sausages prepared in butter, grapeseed oil, onions, fresh garlic, tomato sauce, with green and red bell peppers, fresh kale, and seasoned with Lawry's seasoned salt and onion powder.
Dessert: Cup of plain, non-fat yogurt into which I put artificial vanilla flavoring, and sweetened with raw organic agave nectar.

L'chaim!

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Make yourself a beautiful day!

Cassendre Xavier
(aka Amethyste Rah, aka Amrita Waterfalls)
“renaissance negresse & ARTrepreneur”
(musician/writer/actress/fine artist)
Leeway Transformation Award-Winning founder & executive director of the Black Women’s Arts Festival (Est. 2003) and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002). 
Visit the Cassendre Xavier Music Gallery at CD Baby: http://cdbaby.com/all/cassendre 
Visit Cassendre's iTunes storefront: http://tinyurl.com/CXiTunes
Visit Cassendre's Amazon song singles page: http://amzn.to/1xrklOW
Official website: http://cassendrexavier.com

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