Thursday, January 30, 2014

Ebook Storefront Established! (Heretofore!)

Dear Friends,

I just spent an hour creating my ebook storefront at http://cxbooks.eventbrite.com. It's called "Ebooks by Cassendre Xavier (aka Amethyste Rah & Amrita Waterfalls" and is live now!
 One title up and a zillion more to go!! :-). Special thanks to Daniel de Jesús who designed the cover for Expanding Your Capacity for Joy (orange image atta-ched!), Lynne "Inner Light" Rabchuk-Watts for her desktop publishing skills and cover of This Is What a Millionaire Looks Like: Inspiring Essays, Carlin Ross of www.dodsonandross.com, Kamala Devi & Michael McClure (www.KamalaDevi.com), Barbara Carrellas & Kate Bornstein (www.urbantantra.org), my family of friends and lovers especially BKP, MKR, KSD, Jane Skipwith who told me to write essays, my soul sister in spirit, renaissance woman Cookie Mueller and all of you my wonderful readers whose feedback encourages me to hurry on up with this here venture!

--
Make yourself a beautiful day!
 
Cassendre Xavier
(aka Amethyste Rah, aka Amrita Waterfalls)
"renaissance negresse & ARTrepreneur"
(musician/writer/actress/fine artist)
Award-winning founder & director of the Black Women's Arts Festival, and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series
6 CDs at CD Baby: http://tinyurl.com/CXCDBaby
2 CDs on iTunes: http://tinyurl.com/CXiTunes
FREE! Guided Meditations by Amethyste Rah: http://tinyurl.com/CXMeditations
FREE! Wisdom Magazine articles: http://tinyurl.com/CXWisdom
Official YouTube Channel: http://tinyurl.com/CXYouTube
New website coming soon!
Wanna be a Patron/Patroness of the renaissance negresse? Visit http://www.gofundme.com/3ik8b8

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Cassendre has posted a new update (1 New Photo and 2 New Videos)...

Hi,
Cassendre has posted a new update message to "Patrons of the renaissance negresse"

See below or visit this page:
Take me to this page >>



New Video Update from Cassendre...
Me! Me! Me! CX Museletter Joy, Heart & Angels

Me! Me! Me! A Cassendre Xavier Museletter

The Joy, Heart & Angels ediccione, if you will. (As it were.)

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

A) GREETINGS
1) SOUNDTRACK
2) NEXT CONCERT
3) THE PATH OF JOY, THE HEART & THE ANGELS
4) THE NECESSITY OF PEER BONDING
5) ME AND MY TOM TODAY
6) COMING OUT OF THE EROTIC CLOSET
7) RESOURCES FOR LIVING WITH MORE JOY, HEART & ANGELS
8) RENAISSANCE NEGRESSE CATALOG
Z) FAREWELL BLESSING


A) GREETINGS

Greetings! I hope this finds you doing well and that you can sense the joy in my heart that brings me to write today, not only to you, but to myself, and to whomever wishes to feel joy also. I am very grateful for being alive, on this plane of existence, for as challenging as it sometimes is, I find it increasingly difficult to create a dreamier, more perfect scenario for learning all the beautiful lessons of love, forgiveness, and courage I came here to learn.

Thank you to my recent GoFundMe donor Laurie Mayer, who composes beautiful music you can hear at her sites https://www.facebook.com/laurie.mayer.composer and http://www.lauriemayer.com.

Thanks to the anonymous persun from Seattle, Washington USA who sent me cash and a beautiful card that read:

Dreamers can find their way by moonlight and their only punishment is that they see the dawn before the rest of the world. Oscar Wilde
Inside:
Reach for the stars
Dance by the moonlight
Follow your dreams
John Churchman Summer Sunrise www.brickhousestudios.com

Thank you to my dear longtime friend Thomas from California for continued support, lovely conversation, and the postcard I just retrieved a few days ago!

Thank you to the lovely Ambitious Amazons of East Lansing, Michigan for yet another wonderful issue of the Lesbian Connection Jan/Feb 2014. LC has been available worldwide for decades for wimmin whether they can donate or not. Visit/donate/gift at www.LConline.org or on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/LConline.

To read more, please visit http://cassendrexavier.blogspot.com/2014/01/me-me-me-cx-museletter-joy-heart-angels.html

Continue Reading & View Video >>

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Me! Me! Me! CX Museletter "Joy, Heart & Angels"

Me! Me! Me! A Cassendre Xavier Museletter

 

The “Joy, Heart & Angels” ediccione, if you will. (As it were.)

 

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

 

A) GREETINGS

1) SOUNDTRACK

2) NEXT CONCERT

3) THE PATH OF JOY, THE HEART & THE ANGELS

4) THE NECESSITY OF PEER BONDING

5) ME AND MY TOM TODAY

6) COMING OUT OF THE EROTIC CLOSET

7) RESOURCES FOR LIVING WITH MORE JOY, HEART & ANGELS

8) RENAISSANCE NEGRESSE CATALOG

Z) FAREWELL BLESSING

 

 

A) GREETINGS

 

Greetings! I hope this finds you doing well and that you can sense the joy in my heart that brings me to write today, not only to you, but to myself, and to whomever wishes to feel joy also. I am very grateful for being alive, on this plane of existence, for as challenging as it sometimes is, I find it increasingly difficult to create a dreamier, more perfect scenario for learning all the beautiful lessons of love, forgiveness, and courage I came here to learn.

 

Thank you to my recent GoFundMe donor Laurie Mayer, who composes beautiful music you can hear at her sites https://www.facebook.com/laurie.mayer.composer and http://www.lauriemayer.com.

 

Thanks to the anonymous persun from Seattle, Washington USA who sent me cash and a beautiful card that read:

 

“Dreamers can find their way by moonlight and their only punishment is that they see the dawn before the rest of the world.” –Oscar Wilde

Inside:

Reach for the stars

Dance by the moonlight

Follow your dreams

© John Churchman “Summer Sunrise” www.brickhousestudios.com

 

Thank you to my dear longtime friend Thomas from California for continued support, lovely conversation, and the postcard I just retrieved a few days ago!

 

Thank you to the lovely Ambitious Amazons of East Lansing, Michigan for yet another wonderful issue of the Lesbian Connection Jan/Feb 2014. LC has been available worldwide for decades for wimmin whether they can donate or not. Visit/donate/gift at www.LConline.org or on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/LConline.

 

A few nifty things I’d like to share with you:

*I’m really into “warm salads” these days. What you do is, you use dark, colored lettuce/greens (not collards, because they’re too tough, and not mustards because they’re too bitter) like spinach, iceberg, Romaine, kale instead of a cooked starch. Then you add whatever hot and saucy thing you were going to have with it. I find I don’t even miss the rice or pasta, which is great, because I really put that stuff away. In my tummy!!! So try that sometime. Hope it helps!

*Run greasy dishes under very hot water first. I find that really helps to wash them more easily and make the dishwashing liquid last longer, too!

*Creative visualization really works. When you want something, use your imagination, plus the emotion of what you imagine you’ll feel like when you have this situation, then expect to have it, believe you deserve it, and let the universe bring it to you in the best way for all involved.

 

1) SOUNDTRACK

These are les musiques I listened to whilst penning this leisurely missive, as it were. (If you will.)

 

Herb Alpert – Rise http://youtu.be/hGw9TggYTmg

Mary Jane Girls – In My House http://youtu.be/4bT9mTCO_0Q

Toshi Reagon - Real Love http://grooveshark.com/s/Real+Love/56bYh4?src=5

B.o.B. featuring Bruno Mars (with Daniel Marolla on bass) - Nothin’ On You http://youtu.be/w5W0a9ym24w

Eva Cassidy – Live at Blues Alley http://youtu.be/eTUQy0ijNcc

Gary Moore - Cold Day in Hell http://youtu.be/lbKqTsQ3UIw

Milton Nascimento – Amor Amigo http://youtu.be/d3lhYsfwu6U

 

Sherdly Abraham aka DJ LA Jazz – Toujou Renmen’w http://youtu.be/QYr0xewkkt4. This song came on the jukebox at a hip Latin restaurant in Manhattan during one of my dates with former Main Squeeze and now very good friend. I couldn’t focus on our conversation or even the food the whole time this song played. Thanks to YouTube, I found it, and it’s been on “repeat” ever since!

 

Nelson Ned (one of my musical influences, who passed away on Jan 5 at the age of 66. I taught myself to play this song on piano when I was an adolescent, and then on guitar in my early 20s. If I can figure out a way to make it my own, I’ll cover it someday.) - Si Las Flores Pudieran Hablar http://youtu.be/IFsfS329od0

 

Tania Maria – Valeu. This song, this woman, this music, is what sexy is. I wish I could find the YouTube clip of her playing a piano in this dark, barely candle-lit room in some Dutch country where people are milling about, enjoying themselves and her, together. She’s not background music, she’s present in the mix, yet life is happening all around and insider her, this composer, singer, musician from Brazil and from fire: Tania Maria. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lD4bLTlDwVg&list=RD-XfZ3gOwSNQ&feature=share&index=1

 

Tania Maria – Come With Me http://youtu.be/WRaiTuw9Z0A  

 

Tania Maria – Don’t Go http://youtu.be/eNcvxfRD1sI

 

Cassendre Xavier – Reach (Original + Lyrics) http://youtu.be/uqkBPso_H7I

 

Cassendre Xavier – Run to You (Original + Lyrics) http://youtu.be/GlTMbmKaq6g

 

 

2) NEXT CONCERT

Saturday, March 8, 2014, 7pm

Tret Fure with special guest Cassendre Xavier

The Unitarian Universalist Church of Delaware County
145 West Rose Tree Road
Media, PA 19070

 

About Tret Fure: Recording her first album in 1973, Tret Fure is one of the most prolific artists in the contemporary singer-songwriter arena and she has been major player in the Women's Music genre since the 80's. A master of musical technology, experienced engineering and producer with her own label - Tomboy Girl Records - Tret is a teacher, an incredible vocalist, a gifted instrumentalist and she has recently re-established herself in the folk world winning prestigious songwriting awards and the Jane Schliessman Award for Outstanding Contributions to Women's Music.

"For those who love Tret Fure's music, and for those first coming to the songs of this talented singer/songwriter and producer, this recording is for you. Tret opens both heart and mind and gives herself over to the music. And it is beautiful music, indeed, addressing where we have come to in life, and where we are going--gathering our loved ones around us all along the route. There is wonderful playing by all of the musicians involved. Tret Fure may be offering us A Piece of the Sky, but she offers us her open heart as well. It is hard not to reach in and find a song that speaks directly to you, the listener. Reach in and listen."

- A review written for the Folk & Acoustic Music Exchange by Roberta B. Schwartz

www.tretfure.com


About Cassendre Xavier: Cassendre Xavier has co-billed with Alix Dobkin, Lucie Blue Tremblay, Toshi Reagon, Pat Humphries of emma's revolution, Ubaka Hill, and Anne Rabson of Sapphire: Uppity Blues Women. Under her Serious Creature Music label, she released 6 original recordings described as "a cross between Tracy Chapman, Sade, and Enya" (Steven M. Wilson, Borders), and her album  "Live at Tin Angel" was honorably mentioned by Philadelphia City Paper's M. J. Fine as the number 9 of "Top 21 Local EPs of 2007". WXPN 88.5's Amazon Country host Debra D'Alessandro has said, "Her stage presence is one part sex kitten serenading in heels, two parts powerhouse kick-ass feminist troubadour poet. In concert with Cassendre Xavier, there is never a dull moment."

www.cassendrexavier.com

DOORS OPEN AT 7 PM.

Online Price: $18.00. Students/Seniors (65+) $8 with ID.
Door price: $22.00. Students/Seniors (65+) $10 with ID.
Children 12 & under, free.
* Please be aware that the are no refunds if the concert is held.

The UUCDC concert space is LGBTQ Welcoming, an "all ages" venue and is ADA Accessible.
www.uucdc.org

Light refreshments, T-shirts & CDs will be available for sale.

 

Ticket sales (remember you can support the show even if you can’t be there!): http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/548886

Invite your Facebook friends: https://www.facebook.com/events/764783480216344/

 

 

3) THE PATH OF JOY, THE HEART & THE ANGELS

I’m learning lately that it’s so important to learn our hearts and to share from that place.

Our hearts are like our thumbprints, and like snowflakes: (other than the yearning to receive and give love) no two are the same.

Wouldn’t it stand to follow that we all wouldn’t necessarily share the same spiritual beliefs or preferences in how we choose to relate to others?

 It took me until I was 38 moons to choose for myself how I wanted to relate to Spirit and to people I chose to love and/or otherwise engage with.

 One thing I have learned for absolutely sure these recent weeks is that the heart is a very powerful thing, and that it can change your circumstances in an instant.

 Whatever we do in the spirit of love with absolutely grow itself and us in ways we’d never imagined…

To read this entire article, please visit http://cassendrexavier.blogspot.com/2014/01/the-path-of-joy-heart-angels.html

 

 

4) THE  NECESSITY OF PEER BONDING

Nikki Powerhouse aka Nicole Ray appeared. I was sitting down, so she looked even taller in her Amazonian Goddess glow. She almost appeared like an apparition. I wondered if she was real. I run into this woman once a year somewhere and meeting her is never less than an intensely blissful blessing and gift. We nurture one another’s being positive wimmin artists in the world. She was on her way to a rehearsal for a play she’s doing called “Live without Parole”. She’s playing the lead character in a work about women who have killed their abusers. We also talked about love and online dating. We talked a lot about her first cousin, the late Karima Wadud who I had the great and distinct pleasure of having met and been known by in my time in Philadelphia. We talked about how powerful Karima was, and how she encouraged us to express our artistry…

 

To read this entire article, please visit http://cassendrexavier.blogspot.com/2014/01/the-necessity-of-peer-bonding.html.

 

 

5) ME AND MY TOM TODAY

I dedicate this and all of my other writings about my late sweetheart Tom to him and his family members and other loved ones, some of whom continue to witness and/or support my art/work, and therefore life, even after his passing. I also dedicate my writings about Tom to those who identify with certain traits of his and think they might’ve liked the guy (which I’ve shared privately with current friends and lovers), to those who have lost loved ones, those who attempt spiritual mediumship/afterlife communication, and/or those who work hard at what they love, and play and especially love even harder.

 

Tom loved to read my writing and was always checking me out on Facebook. Although he never said the words, “You’re a really good writer,” he thirsted for my words as he did my essence and one of my fondest memories is seeing his reading glasses on top of a pile of my chapbooks on a shelf in his bathroom. He only kept one book in there, usually, and he savored whatever he was reading.

 Tom was so into savoring things. He was like a pig and like me. Did you know that unlike dogs, pigs chew and savor their food? Did you know that their orgasms are 30 minutes long? Multi-orgasmic Amrita Waterfalls loves to be like a pig and I go for hours, not minutes. The first night with Tom lasted 5 ½ hours, and that was him giving me pleasure. It was love at first everything, and four years later, he went to be with his Lord and travel and adventure and see his mom and sister and be free again of anything that held him down or hurt him. We met in July 2009 and he transitioned in March 2013.

 After his passing, I cried so much, because I missed him and I missed the help and comfort and companionship he brought to my life.

 Over time, it became less painful to think of him, but I still felt I needed to cry to feel closer to him. Then, over more time, I realized it wasn’t “high” to feel pain or to cry. In my spiritual mediumship studies I’d learned that our grief keeps our loved ones from making contact with us. I didn’t care at first because I knew it was physically healthy to express grief so soon after losing Tom to the heart condition he told me on our first date that he had.

 But over time, being stronger, I was able to recall all I’d read about the importance of feeling joy. Then I remembered how much Tom was about playing, and lightness, and me “relaxing”. He was always trying to get me to relax, and he was always playing. He worked hard, too. Very hard, and made a very good living and was very proud of his home which he made a very serious effort to keep till the end of his life.

 (I’m so happy knowing he’s smiling at my writing about him!)

 Sometimes I felt sad that I couldn’t “feel” Tom nor get direct messages from him.

The first major breakthrough I had in trying to sense his spirit was when I realized that rather than come from a place of lack, neediness, sadness, and fear (all the opposite of love), how about I come a place of fullness, hope, and giving instead of taking? I decided instead of looking for him to give me a sign and reassurance that he was okay and still loving, caring about, and protecting me in his manly, barrel-chested, sexy voiced, gentle-handed, soft brown-eyed, 6’5” 250 lb way, I decided instead to flip the switch and let HIM know I was around. That I still cared, still adored and cherished him and was always going to be here for him, in this life and the next and the next as we had many times before, I was sure. Immediately making that change in my mind made all the difference.

 Another awesome thing happened recently. I was suddenly struck with the worrisome and frightening thought, “What if his spirit is totally gone forever from me?”

 That was so scary, I immediately recognized it as devil-speak, and rebuked it with the replacement of good-feeling LOVE. It wasn’t true that he was gone.

 Then I had a needy thought, “But I want to feel him near me. I need him to be near.” Then I had thought, “I’d rather he be totally free and that I never have contact from him again, if I know he’s totally happy.” The instant I had that thought Whoooosh I felt him not only connect with me, but plant himself deep in my heart! Letting him go brought him to me!

 Since then, I know love is the answer. Love is total freedom. Love is not needing, not clinging. Feeling full and whole of yourself. Needing no one and nothing UNLESS you also are giving as much as you are seeking.

 I also know his personality was sooo rebellious! I even laughed when I saw his doctor’s writing on his form, that Tom had, “A history of non-compliance.” I guffawed when I saw that. “Ya think?!” Tom was the King of Non-Compliant! Of course if I am seeking and needing him he may not react nearly as much as if I let him go.

 This is different than when I am needing his help in a practical area of my life – then he swoops in and rescues as always.

 I don’t pray to him or any of my other spirit guides and ancestors as though they are deities. I call upon them for help as I call upon friends and reference materials. They are part of a wide web of networks given to us by the Divine to continue living well.

 Here’s what I wanted to share with you. I’d been spending so much time feeling joy when I thought of Tom – training myself to go from the place of sadness to a place of happiness and play  - as a way to make him happy and relaxed and proud of me. Also to feel him closer to me, that I’ve been letting go of the material memory of him.

 I’ve removed his name and number from my phone Contacts. I stopped listening to his voicemail messages, because he’s no longer “That Guy”. He is spirit. He is the spirit of play, of bliss, of relaxation, of passion, of energy, of doing one’s joyful chosen work, of playing hard, of erotic pleasure, of friendship, of generosity. His “voice” is the lessons he taught me, and the ways I can still show him I care.

 My experience of him is so far out of the material, even in memory now, that when I went to his home, I had no feeling as I did before, to go to the porch and feel and be there. He loved his homestead so much I am sure his spirit still resides there. And because I did a certain ritual on the days after his passing, and because I lived with him, I know parts of my spirit are still there as well.

 His car was our most romantic place. Whenever he picked me up, we’d hold hands and have our most intimate conversations. It was very sweet, and I felt like a teenager and I felt like he was a teenager. We kind of were like teenagers in that car. And he drove so well. Driving was one of this things. He drove big ships well, he drove cars well, and if I was lucky enough to be in his pick-up truck with him, well, that counted as foreplay right there!

 Anyway, my new friend drove me to the two houses Tom and I were in together. When I saw his car, my fleshly part almost wanted to go touch it. But my spiritual mind remembered that he was gone from that car for me. He and I had a brand new, close and marvelous relationship wherein I feel joy and call him into my space with play. We are embarking upon a new way of being together, one in which as the scriptures say I must know by faith.

Because of my studies, I believe in the power and truth of my imagination. I believe in love and good feelings. I believe those things are true. So, because it feels good to me to believe that Tom and I are still together in spirit, I know it’s true. And whenever my intellect, which is atheist, tells me I’m being silly, I thank it for expressing itself and remind it that it has really no effect in my feeling on this! It doesn’t matter whether or not Tom’s spirit is actually near me and reading this as I write it. What matters is that I believe it is, because it feels good to do so. And I believe it also because I sometimes imagine he is there wanting me to know he’s there, and I would hate to not believe in him while he’s there seeking to connect with me.

 So, again, I walk into the unknown of Spirit, trusting Love with a smile on my face. The smile Love put there In the Beginning. :-)

 

[Helpful Hint: If someone you love has died and you are feeling sad one night, close your eyes and imagine the best case scenario. Take from any spiritual beliefs or lessons you’ve learned, pick the ones that you like the most, and imagine they’re true. Stick to the ones that feel the best to you, and let the rest go. As you get better at this, you’ll be able to have much happier thoughts about your loved one, and go to sleep knowing they’ll be visiting you in your dreams.
See my related article, “Love Never Dies: Afterlife Communication with Deceased Loved Ones” at http://wisdom-magazine.com/Article.aspx/3115.]

 

Source/Share “Me and My Tom Today”: http://cassendrexavier.blogspot.com/2014/01/me-and-my-tom-today.html.

 

 

6) COMING OUT OF THE EROTIC CLOSET

When I came out to my parents, I did it the worst way possible: ANGRY. I think part of me felt that coming from such a homophobic society and my having so many resentments at the time, going in so many directions, I guess I didn’t even know I could do it another way. And if someone had presented the better way, I’m not so sure I would have. I learned in some wonderful books by LGBT folks later, that there are much better ways to come out: with love and telling your loved ones you want a close relationship with them, that’s why you’re coming out.

 Well, I like to think the way I’m coming out about my sexual life is the total opposite of that. For one thing, it’s taking for-E-ver! But I see now there’s been progress.

 It’s amazing how as life goes on, some of our dreams and ideas go forgotten by the wayside, until something happens to remind us.

 Only after I posted some erotic still and video images of myself on an “adult community” website, did I recall I’d been wanting for years to be something of a “porn star” but in my own way, on my on terms, and with my own unique intentions and creative visions.

 I remembered I even had a friend who shared a similar vision, only she (now he) wanted to film me and I wanted to act. This was when I was in my mid 20s. Now in my mid 40s I recall this.

 I am interested in using sexuality for expressing love and creativity. Sex as a healing force, and as I create for myself, without many years of study of Tantric, Taoist or other practices, except as occur naturally and organically, with little efforting.

 I find that even with little study, I naturally come across information that the average persun doesn’t have. I am discovering that although I’m not trying to nor interested in being a “sex coach”, I am still somehow becoming a teacher, and I’ve always been a healer, though first of myself and then of my lovers in one way or another.

 Over the years, I’ve created a name: Amrita Waterfalls, a blog, a YouTube post about Amrita Waterfalls, a Facebook profile for Amrita Waterfalls, images, video, and writings.

 About a month ago, I activated a complete profile of Amrita Waterfalls on this “adult community” website wherein I included still and video images of me as well as several writings on my beliefs about sexuality, in addition to what I’m erotically inclined to.

 The amount of feedback was overwhelming and positive. At least about my physical presence. A small amount of people really dug what I was doing spiritually and said so. This, plus the inordinate amount of time I spent working on this project, told me I wasn’t being as effective as I’d like. I wasn’t having as much joy as I’d like, frankly, and that also told me it was time to find another venue.

 I looked to my hera/shero/mentor(s) Betty Dodson’s website www.dodsonandross.com and saw what Betty and her business/creative partner Carlin Ross were doing and how. I was intrigued and planted in my mind their business model, particularly of creating and making videos available for sale to view from their website.

 I went to the www.KamalaDevi.com website because aside from my other teacher Barbara Carrellas www.urbantantra.org, she so comes from love with her work about sexuality, spirituality and polyamorous relationships.

 I’m not ready right now to create a website to sell my erotic videos. And I closed that account on that “adult community” website.

 What I am ready to do is what I’m doing now: talking about it and letting you know that more is on the way.

 I am ready to speak more of the way sexuality feeds creativity.

 For instance, after a particularly hot date I write for days on end and am energized to give as much to the world of my creative love as I did in the bedroom otherwise. There really is no separation.

 I remember once a friend said to me in the recording studio, “Wow, you sound like you’d have great orgasms!” I said to her, “Is there such a thing as bad orgasm?” :-)

 When I sing I want sexual energy to be heard in my voice, as an element of comfort and as a source of life and healing. I want people to be inspired by the sensuality of my song and my writing to sit a little straighter, smile a little brighter, be a little tougher, a little softer, a little sweeter, a little lovelier, a little more generous, a little more confident.

 I want people to think of flower petals opening, trains going into tunnels, ripe mangoes being sucked from their strong fibrous peels, and all things original, unique, trite or even mundane but to do with sensuality. I want people to want to pick something up and write.

 

Share “Coming Out of the Erotic Closet”: http://cassendrexavier.blogspot.com/2014/01/coming-out-of-erotic-closet.html

 

 

7) RESOURCES FOR LIVING WITH MORE JOY, HEART & ANGELS

 

JOY:            

The Living With Joy products of Orin & DaBen http://orindaben.com/pages/customer_service/search/?q=%2Fcatalog+living+with+joy&x=0&y=0

Making yourself happy; doing things that bring you joy.

Prayer and meditation alone, with a buddy, or in communion with others of like spirit.

Having thoughts and beliefs that nurture who you are and make you feel good – letting go of those that don’t.

Enjoying foods and beverages that make you feel good and your body work better – letting go of/releasing those that don’t.

Being out in nature, or even just going for a walk.

Spending time with pets, children, and elders who cherish you.

As you are making yourself happier, try to help others be happier, too.

 

 

HEART:

Seek guidance from your heart more than you do from your brain.

Emulate the courage of those you admire.

Remember those who want you to be courageous, and when you’re too weak to do it for yourself, be courageous for them. I like to remember my ancestors who did not go through everything they went through for me to give up too soon on my dreams, my destiny, and my joy! Also, Tom was always telling me to “be fearless” and now I see those words on billboards everywhere.

Encourage others to have heart. See acknowledge the heart in others.

 

 

THE ANGELS:

The works of Doreen Virtue, Ph.D. http://www.angeltherapy.com/, https://www.facebook.com/DoreenVirtue444, https://twitter.com/DoreenVirtue444.  

 

Angels work for God. They are the arms and the thoughts of God. They look like whatever you want them to look like – sparkles of light or your beloved elder relatives. They can have wings if you want them to, and they can appear as miracles or as humyns being miraculous servants of and workers for God also known as Love. Angels are there to help us with anything, and they await our asking. They are highly bored and underworked! And they love nothing more than to serve, then be happy to have done so. They are non-denominational and belong to everyone of every faith or lack thereof. One of my favorite things to think is that angels work even when you don’t believe in them!

 Being black I never believed in angels because all the images I saw were of chubby-cheeked white babies. Doreen Virtue’s work found me first because of her previous specialty in psychologically treating women abuse survivors who suffered from eating disorders. Many years after I read her book “Losing Your Pounds of Pain: Exploring the Link Between Abuse and Compulsive Eating”, she started slowly coming out of the metaphysical closet to becoming one of the world’s premiere angel healers and teachers.

 Angels have helped me a lot, from finding lost objects, to helping me hear the messages in my heart.

 About two years ago, the angels led me to return to a 12 Step program for compulsive eaters, and I lost weight following some of their guidelines while incorporating some of my own, including regular meditation with the angels and writing a daily format for my food, blood pressure, and weight (very similar to the “Health & Progress Chart” of my book Expanding Your Capacity for Joy: a Raw Vegan Comfort Book, Sourcebook & Journal.).

 After that failed, as 97% of 12 Step programs do, I decided to leave after 27 years of being in that program off and on. I realized it wasn’t for me, I didn’t want to be “powerless” and become a “new addict” to that program. I decided I needed to create my own program of a new lifestyle, incorporating angels and raw foods and making my discoveries and experiences available to others on a similar journey.

 It takes time to gestate things with me. My poem “telegram to erotic from terror” from my chapbook secrets & lies: poetry and other words took 8 years to become my play Sex for Survivors.  

 I am heavier now than I’ve been at my heaviest, and I know that won’t always be the case, because I’m on the path of healing, with raw foods, with fun and joyful exercise, and with the angels.

 This is one example of how you can use angels in your life as a resource to better living.

 

 

8) RENAISSANCE NEGRESSE CATALOG

a) 6 CDs of live and studio music (2002-2009/Serious Creature Music): http://cdbaby.com/all/cassendre

b) 2 albums to download at iTunes: http://tinyurl.com/CXiTunes

c) CXTV- the official CX YouTube channel: http://tinyurl.com/CXYouTube

d) Book – Expanding Your Capacity for Joy: A Raw Vegan Comfort Book, Sourcebook & Journal (2009/ARtivist Publications), sold at Essene Market & Café (Philadelphia) and Arnold's Way Raw Vegetarian Café & Educational Center (Lansdale, PA).

e) Ebooks – Expanding Your Capacity for Joy (see above), and This is What a Millionaire Looks Like (Essays). Info: Email cxwriting(at)gmail.com

f) Inspiring or humorous daily writings: http://cassendrexavier.blogspot.com, http://facebook.com/cassendrexavier

g) Wisdom Magazine online edition articles: http://tinyurl.com/CXWisdom

h) Amethyste's Ink inspiring cardstock stationery and postcards: Send a business-sized SASE (self-addressed stamped envelope) for sample: Cassendre Xavier, 4530 Baltimore Ave, Philadelphia, PA 19143-3507.

i) Archives of Cassendre Xavier museletters (including "Me! Me! Me!"): http://groups.yahoo.com/group/cassendrexavier or http://cassendrexavier.blogspot.com.

j) Coming soon: Affirmations for Survivors: Guided Meditations by Amethyste Rah  (Self-Love, and Spirituality) released in CD format in August 2007, and soon to be released in both CD and MP3 Format… stay in touch!

 

Z) FAREWELL BLESSING   

Don’t worry. Be happy.

Wishing the very best for and seeing the highest good and most love in you.

May you give yourself more and more joy, knowing you are worthy.

May all your heart’s desires come true, surpassing all your expectations.

This, or something better, and may it be for the good of all.



--
Make yourself a beautiful day!
 
Cassendre Xavier
(aka Amethyste Rah, aka Amrita Waterfalls)
"renaissance negresse & ARTrepreneur"
(musician/writer/actress/fine artist)
Award-winning founder & director of the Black Women's Arts Festival, and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series
6 CDs at CD Baby: http://tinyurl.com/CXCDBaby
2 CDs on iTunes: http://tinyurl.com/CXiTunes
Wisdom Magazine articles: http://tinyurl.com/CXWisdom
Official YouTube Channel: http://tinyurl.com/CXYouTube
New website coming soon!
Become a Patron of the renaissance negresse today! http://www.gofundme.com/3ik8b8

Coming Out of the Erotic Closet

When I came out to my parents, I did it the worst way possible: ANGRY. I think part of me felt that coming from such a homophobic society and my having so many resentments at the time, going in so many directions, I guess I didn’t even know I could do it another way. And if someone had presented the better way, I’m not so sure I would have. I learned in some wonderful books by LGBT folks later, that there are much better ways to come out: with love and telling your loved ones you want a close relationship with them, that’s why you’re coming out.

 Well, I like to think the way I’m coming out about my sexual life is the total opposite of that. For one thing, it’s taking for-E-ver! But I see now there’s been progress.

 It’s amazing how as life goes on, some of our dreams and ideas go forgotten by the wayside, until something happens to remind us.

 Only after I posted some erotic still and video images of myself on an “adult community” website, did I recall I’d been wanting for years to be something of a “porn star” but in my own way, on my on terms, and with my own unique intentions and creative visions.

 I remembered I even had a friend who shared a similar vision, only she (now he) wanted to film me and I wanted to act. This was when I was in my mid 20s. Now in my mid 40s I recall this.

 I am interested in using sexuality for expressing love and creativity. Sex as a healing force, and as I create for myself, without many years of study of Tantric, Taoist or other practices, except as occur naturally and organically, with little efforting.

 I find that even with little study, I naturally come across information that the average persun doesn’t have. I am discovering that although I’m not trying to nor interested in being a “sex coach”, I am still somehow becoming a teacher, and I’ve always been a healer, though first of myself and then of my lovers in one way or another.

 Over the years, I’ve created a name: Amrita Waterfalls, a blog, a YouTube post about Amrita Waterfalls, a Facebook profile for Amrita Waterfalls, images, video, and writings.

 About a month ago, I activated a complete profile of Amrita Waterfalls on this “adult community” website wherein I included still and video images of me as well as several writings on my beliefs about sexuality, in addition to what I’m erotically inclined to.

 The amount of feedback was overwhelming and positive. At least about my physical presence. A small amount of people really dug what I was doing spiritually and said so. This, plus the inordinate amount of time I spent working on this project, told me I wasn’t being as effective as I’d like. I wasn’t having as much joy as I’d like, frankly, and that also told me it was time to find another venue.

 I looked to my hera/shero/mentor(s) Betty Dodson’s website www.dodsonandross.com and saw what Betty and her business/creative partner Carlin Ross were doing and how. I was intrigued and planted in my mind their business model, particularly of creating and making videos available for sale to view from their website.

 I went to the www.KamalaDevi.com website because aside from my other teacher Barbara Carrellas www.urbantantra.org, she so comes from love with her work about sexuality, spirituality and polyamorous relationships.

 I’m not ready right now to create a website to sell my erotic videos. And I closed that account on that “adult community” website.

 What I am ready to do is what I’m doing now: talking about it and letting you know that more is on the way.

 I am ready to speak more of the way sexuality feeds creativity.

 For instance, after a particularly hot date I write for days on end and am energized to give as much to the world of my creative love as I did in the bedroom otherwise. There really is no separation.

 I remember once a friend said to me in the recording studio, “Wow, you sound like you’d have great orgasms!” I said to her, “Is there such a thing as bad orgasm?” :-)

 When I sing I want sexual energy to be heard in my voice, as an element of comfort and as a source of life and healing. I want people to be inspired by the sensuality of my song and my writing to sit a little straighter, smile a little brighter, be a little tougher, a little softer, a little sweeter, a little lovelier, a little more generous, a little more confident.

 I want people to think of flower petals opening, trains going into tunnels, ripe mangoes being sucked from their strong fibrous peels, and all things original, unique, trite or even mundane but to do with sensuality. I want people to want to pick something up and write.



--
Make yourself a beautiful day!
 
Cassendre Xavier
(aka Amethyste Rah, aka Amrita Waterfalls)
"renaissance negresse & ARTrepreneur"
(musician/writer/actress/fine artist)
Award-winning founder & director of the Black Women's Arts Festival, and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series
6 CDs at CD Baby: http://tinyurl.com/CXCDBaby
2 CDs on iTunes: http://tinyurl.com/CXiTunes
Wisdom Magazine articles: http://tinyurl.com/CXWisdom
Official YouTube Channel: http://tinyurl.com/CXYouTube
New website coming soon!
Become a Patron of the renaissance negresse today! http://www.gofundme.com/3ik8b8

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Me and My Tom Today

I dedicate this and all of my other writings about my late sweetheart Tom to him and his family members and other loved ones, some of whom continue to witness and/or support my art/work, and therefore life, even after his passing. I also dedicate my writings about Tom to those who identify with certain traits of his and think they might’ve liked the guy (which I’ve shared privately with current friends and lovers), to those who have lost loved ones, those who attempt spiritual mediumship/afterlife communication, and/or those who work hard at what they love, and play and especially love even harder.

 

Tom loved to read my writing and was always checking me out on Facebook. Although he never said the words, “You’re a really good writer,” he thirsted for my words as he did my essence and one of my fondest memories is seeing his reading glasses on top of a pile of my chapbooks on a shelf in his bathroom. He only kept one book in there, usually, and he savored whatever he was reading.

 Tom was so into savoring things. He was like a pig and like me. Did you know that unlike dogs, pigs chew and savor their food? Did you know that their orgasms are 30 minutes long? Multi-orgasmic Amrita Waterfalls loves to be like a pig and I go for hours, not minutes. The first night with Tom lasted 5 ½ hours, and that was him giving me pleasure. It was love at first everything, and four years later, he went to be with his Lord and travel and adventure and see his mom and sister and be free again of anything that held him down or hurt him. We met in July 2009 and he transitioned in March 2013.

 After his passing, I cried so much, because I missed him and I missed the help and comfort and companionship he brought to my life.

 Over time, it became less painful to think of him, but I still felt I needed to cry to feel closer to him. Then, over more time, I realized it wasn’t “high” to feel pain or to cry. In my spiritual mediumship studies I’d learned that our grief keeps our loved ones from making contact with us. I didn’t care at first because I knew it was physically healthy to express grief so soon after losing Tom to the heart condition he told me on our first date that he had.

 But over time, being stronger, I was able to recall all I’d read about the importance of feeling joy. Then I remembered how much Tom was about playing, and lightness, and me “relaxing”. He was always trying to get me to relax, and he was always playing. He worked hard, too. Very hard, and made a very good living and was very proud of his home which he made a very serious effort to keep till the end of his life.

 (I’m so happy knowing he’s smiling at my writing about him!)

 Sometimes I felt sad that I couldn’t “feel” Tom nor get direct messages from him.

The first major breakthrough I had in trying to sense his spirit was when I realized that rather than come from a place of lack, neediness, sadness, and fear (all the opposite of love), how about I come a place of fullness, hope, and giving instead of taking? I decided instead of looking for him to give me a sign and reassurance that he was okay and still loving, caring about, and protecting me in his manly, barrel-chested, sexy voiced, gentle-handed, soft brown-eyed, 6’5” 250 lb way, I decided instead to flip the switch and let HIM know I was around. That I still cared, still adored and cherished him and was always going to be here for him, in this life and the next and the next as we had many times before, I was sure. Immediately making that change in my mind made all the difference.

 Another awesome thing happened recently. I was suddenly struck with the worrisome and frightening thought, “What if his spirit is totally gone forever from me?”

 That was so scary, I immediately recognized it as devil-speak, and rebuked it with the replacement of good-feeling LOVE. It wasn’t true that he was gone.

 Then I had a needy thought, “But I want to feel him near me. I need him to be near.” Then I had thought, “I’d rather he be totally free and that I never have contact from him again, if I know he’s totally happy.” The instant I had that thought Whoooosh I felt him not only connect with me, but plant himself deep in my heart! Letting him go brought him to me!

 Since then, I know love is the answer. Love is total freedom. Love is not needing, not clinging. Feeling full and whole of yourself. Needing no one and nothing UNLESS you also are giving as much as you are seeking.

 I also know his personality was sooo rebellious! I even laughed when I saw his doctor’s writing on his form, that Tom had, “A history of non-compliance.” I guffawed when I saw that. “Ya think?!” Tom was the King of Non-Compliant! Of course if I am seeking and needing him he may not react nearly as much as if I let him go.

 This is different than when I am needing his help in a practical area of my life – then he swoops in and rescues as always.

 I don’t pray to him or any of my other spirit guides and ancestors as though they are deities. I call upon them for help as I call upon friends and reference materials. They are part of a wide web of networks given to us by the Divine to continue living well.

 Here’s what I wanted to share with you. I’d been spending so much time feeling joy when I thought of Tom – training myself to go from the place of sadness to a place of happiness and play  - as a way to make him happy and relaxed and proud of me. Also to feel him closer to me, that I’ve been letting go of the material memory of him.

 I’ve removed his name and number from my phone Contacts. I stopped listening to his voicemail messages, because he’s no longer “That Guy”. He is spirit. He is the spirit of play, of bliss, of relaxation, of passion, of energy, of doing one’s joyful chosen work, of playing hard, of erotic pleasure, of friendship, of generosity. His “voice” is the lessons he taught me, and the ways I can still show him I care.

 My experience of him is so far out of the material, even in memory now, that when I went to his home, I had no feeling as I did before, to go to the porch and feel and be there. He loved his homestead so much I am sure his spirit still resides there. And because I did a certain ritual on the days after his passing, and because I lived with him, I know parts of my spirit are still there as well.

 His car was our most romantic place. Whenever he picked me up, we’d hold hands and have our most intimate conversations. It was very sweet, and I felt like a teenager and I felt like he was a teenager. We kind of were like teenagers in that car. And he drove so well. Driving was one of this things. He drove big ships well, he drove cars well, and if I was lucky enough to be in his pick-up truck with him, well, that counted as foreplay right there!

 Anyway, my new friend drove me to the two houses Tom and I were in together. When I saw his car, my fleshly part almost wanted to go touch it. But my spiritual mind remembered that he was gone from that car for me. He and I had a brand new, close and marvelous relationship wherein I feel joy and call him into my space with play. We are embarking upon a new way of being together, one in which as the scriptures say I must know by faith.

Because of my studies, I believe in the power and truth of my imagination. I believe in love and good feelings. I believe those things are true. So, because it feels good to me to believe that Tom and I are still together in spirit, I know it’s true. And whenever my intellect, which is atheist, tells me I’m being silly, I thank it for expressing itself and remind it that it has really no effect in my feeling on this! It doesn’t matter whether or not Tom’s spirit is actually near me and reading this as I write it. What matters is that I believe it is, because it feels good to do so. And I believe it also because I sometimes imagine he is there wanting me to know he’s there, and I would hate to not believe in him while he’s there seeking to connect with me.

 So, again, I walk into the unknown of Spirit, trusting Love with a smile on my face. The smile Love put there In the Beginning. :-)

 

[Helpful Hint: If someone you love has died and you are feeling sad one night, close your eyes and imagine the best case scenario. Take from any spiritual beliefs or lessons you’ve learned, pick the ones that you like the most, and imagine they’re true. Stick to the ones that feel the best to you, and let the rest go. As you get better at this, you’ll be able to have much happier thoughts about your loved one, and go to sleep knowing they’ll be visiting you in your dreams.
See my related article, “Love Never Dies: Afterlife Communication with Deceased Loved Ones” at http://wisdom-magazine.com/Article.aspx/3115.]



--
Make yourself a beautiful day!
 
Cassendre Xavier
(aka Amethyste Rah, aka Amrita Waterfalls)
"renaissance negresse & ARTrepreneur"
(musician/writer/actress/fine artist)
Award-winning founder & director of the Black Women's Arts Festival, and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series
6 CDs at CD Baby: http://tinyurl.com/CXCDBaby
2 CDs on iTunes: http://tinyurl.com/CXiTunes
Wisdom Magazine articles: http://tinyurl.com/CXWisdom
Official YouTube Channel: http://tinyurl.com/CXYouTube
New website coming soon!
Become a Patron of the renaissance negresse today! http://www.gofundme.com/3ik8b8

The Path of Joy, the Heart & Angels

I’m learning lately that it’s so important to learn our hearts and to share from that place.

Our hearts are like our thumbprints, and like snowflakes: (other than the yearning to receive love and the suffering when we don’t express), no two are the same.

Wouldn’t it stand to follow that we all wouldn’t necessarily share the same spiritual beliefs or preferences in how we choose to relate to others?

 It took me until I was 38 moons to choose for myself how I wanted to relate to Spirit and to people I chose to love and/or otherwise engage with. Yet, even now, when I hear or read or watch a particularly charismatic or effective speaker of a certain faith, I find I begin to doubt myself about whether or not it’s right for me not to completely agree with their message or feel comfortable with their presence and/or delivery.

 I’ve been reminding myself lately that YES, it is absolutely okay for me to disagree. My heart knows what it wants, and what is true for it. And I believe there are many paths to the Light. For me, lately, that path is made of joy and when I can’t be in joy, I call upon the angels and seek Divine guidance to help me get back on the path of joy.

 As a student of A Course In Miracles (ACIM) I believe there is only love or fear. And whenever there is fear, I try to find and practice the loving way. It’s not always easy, but there have been times I’ve made the loving choice, rather than a fearful one, and those time have bolstered my strength to do better and better.

 

Lately, how I’m getting stronger in using my heart is that I ask it for answers when I have a question. Or rather, I ask the universe or the angels for answers and they always lead me back to my heart, where God is. (The God I grew up with frightens me with His Male, hell-threatening ways, so I often find solace in other expressions of Samesource).

 

When I asked: “How do I know I’m reaching and assisting my readers?”

The answer was: “Read your fan mail.”

 

Q: What is the best way to seek and find my next great soulmate(s)?

A: Get involved in yoga and/or other places where people move their bodies. (Yoga classes are also great because they are usually full of Tantra practitioners.)

 I’ve been to yoga classes, contact improvisation, square dancing, contra dancing and bicycle riding. But I’ve never been to more than 3 of the same yoga class, nor continued bicycling regularly (my favorite form of nonsexual exercise), and although I thoroughly enjoyed tennis when I took a class in high school, and purchased rackets over the years, I haven’t consistently returned to it.

 

What’s it going to take for me to love myself enough to give myself something that not only is good for my body’s health, but actually makes me happy?
Do you do this, too? Can we make a pact to do better? I’ll try to have something new to report soon, and I’d love to hear from you if you have, too. It’ll help me a lot, and I’m sure others, if I tell them!

 

I think the reason I haven’t stuck with a yoga class long enough to really grow with it and meet friends or possibly lovers through it is because I get freaked out when the going gets “too good”. This is typical of survivor behavior, and it also is so much a part of my past that I named my first raw vegan book after that pattern (Expanding Your Capacity for Joy).

 

I remember I went to a summer potluck in the backyard of someone I knew from yoga. All these yoga folks were there, with their yoga bodies and their yoga spiritualities. (I brought a raw vegan salad – this was many years ago, and folks loved it!). I remember now that I was surprised they liked it.

 I remember wishing I could be more like them, to fit in more, and I felt a little left out, only I also seemed to be aware I was making up that feeling. Nothing in the way anyone else engaged with me confirmed any of my fears of not belonging.

 Later I would find “Yoga for Round People” and similar classes, and befriend one or two of those teachers. While I basked in the glow of the self-love it takes to create and be a part of such a class, I always saw myself as belonging to non-round classes. Classes for everyone, wherein round folks were welcomed and accepted as everyone else.

 Why am going on about yoga? Because I’ve heard it’s good to talk about what you want. And I want to use the hot pink yoga mat that’s looking at me right now in my room. Even though I don’t have a DVD player hooked up in my room to watch my favorite yoga video Kundalini Yoga with Gurmukh, I can either do yoga on my own, or watch it on one of the million TV channels I’m lucky to have here, or take a yoga class.

 

One thing I have learned for absolutely sure these recent weeks is that the heart is a very powerful thing, and that it can change your circumstances in an instant.

 Whatever we do in the spirit of love with absolutely grow itself and us in ways we’d never imagined.

 

For instance, I met a new friend a few weeks ago and I wasn’t even “looking”. Actually, my heart was looking, but my brain hadn’t figured out how it was going to happen. I went online just to browse through personal ads where I’d in the past met long-term partners, but I wasn’t ready to actually start the process of dating.

 So for several weeks, I just kinda occasionally browsed and yeah, I copied and pasted some for myself to save in my emails to consider possibly replying to in the future. But I hadn’t moved on any and wasn’t really sweating anything at all.

 So recently, I was on there again and a man had written, “Are there any real women here?” I read on further to read that the only women who ever responded to his posts were “gold-diggers” and at times they’d end up texting him all day and never finalize a meeting time.

 I wrote him back a long letter, with over 7 tips on how to make the most of the personal ads to meet people situation. I told him I’d used that website many times very successfully, that I was a real woman who’d met real partners and had real relationships lasting as long as 4 years. As I wrote, I asked myself, “Why are you doing this?” Why was I taking so long to answer? I felt it was coming from a place of love and that anyone who read it would be helped. He (and a few others) replied, and right away, I made a friend. We met, we started dating a bit, and then it seemed clear that while we weren’t compatible enough to continue seeing one another, we were both interested in maintaining a friendship. And, of course, I learned more about myself and what was suitable for me as a partner, in that relationship. Nothing is ever lost when we are coming from a place of love. No time spent in trying to share more love is ever wasted.

 

Whenever you’re feeling down, or low, or frustrated, or depressed, take a moment, chill, and get into the feeling of something better. Remember, recall, re-create… Try to find some thought that makes you feel better. Then, stay there, as long as you can.  I did that today and was so rewarded. (See my blog "The Necessity of Peer Bonding" at

http://cassendrexavier.blogspot.com/2014/01/the-necessity-of-peer-bonding.html.)



--
Make yourself a beautiful day!
 
Cassendre Xavier
(aka Amethyste Rah, aka Amrita Waterfalls)
"renaissance negresse & ARTrepreneur"
(musician/writer/actress/fine artist)
Award-winning founder & director of the Black Women's Arts Festival, and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series
6 CDs at CD Baby: http://tinyurl.com/CXCDBaby
2 CDs on iTunes: http://tinyurl.com/CXiTunes
Wisdom Magazine articles: http://tinyurl.com/CXWisdom
Official YouTube Channel: http://tinyurl.com/CXYouTube
New website coming soon!
Become a Patron of the renaissance negresse today! http://www.gofundme.com/3ik8b8

The Necessity of Peer Bonding

I was at 30th Street Station, after a difficult and frustrating conversation. I felt bad for not having hugged the persun, for fear he would’ve rejected my hug and I’d feel embarrassed because we were out in public and others would see my hug being rejected. I also felt I wasn’t exemplifying Christ Consciousness of love and forgiveness. I also was thinking that perhaps I wasn’t supposed to be spending so much time thing of this persun. That perhaps the universe was showing me that I was supposed to let it, the situation, him, go. I decided to relax. I spent a bunch of time thinking of sending a Thanks for the good times, best to you, card. Then I was worrying about whether I should do that or not. I decided to relax. And then I decided to feel good. As usual, less than ten minutes later, an angel appeared to affirm for me my decision to feel good, as God wants us to. As it says all over so many spiritual texts: Don’t Worry. Be Happy. Let not your heart be troubled.

                   

 Nikki Powerhouse aka Nicole Ray appeared. I was sitting down, so she looked even taller in her Amazonian Goddess glow. She almost appeared like an apparition. I wondered if she was real. I run into this woman once a year somewhere and meeting her is never less than an intensely blissful blessing and gift. We nurture one another’s being positive wimmin artists in the world. She was on her way to a rehearsal for a play she’s doing called “Live without Parole”. She’s playing the lead character in a work about women who have killed their abusers. We also talked about love and online dating. We talked a lot about her first cousin, the late Karima Wadud who I had the great and distinct pleasure of having met and been known by in my time in Philadelphia. We talked about how powerful Karima was, and how she encouraged us to express our artistry.

 When I saw Nikki, I said, “I really needed this!” And we embraced, and she said, “You don’t know how much I needed this, too!” And after we parted, I thought to myself, “Why don’t I do this more often?” Why don’t I treat myself to more get togethers with peer wimmin artist friends with whom conversations are pleasant and empowering? People who really “get” me?

 I think it’s related to the “expanding capacity for joy” thing, and although I’m committed to making progress in that area, I also know how much easier it is to just stay home and not call people! It also requires a permanent and organized lifestyle. I’ve changed phones a lot and Nikki’s been in and out of every one. Also, I really move a lot. Anyway, what I’ve learned is that it’s best to focus on what’s working and being in joy while I can.

 There are Nikki Powerhouses in every city I’ll live in going forward, and what if I embrace my “Nothing is ever lost” mantra and believe that there is nothing lacking in the amount of time I spend with Nikki? What if the amount of time we see each other is exactly right and perfect for intense black wimmin artist/actor/performer/writers such as ourselves?

 What if I “tried” “harder” or “made an effort” to call her more often than feels natural to, then we meet and I see more flaws and we get on each other’s nerves? I will call if I feel so moved. And if I don’t feel so moved, I’ll be okay with that and enjoy the annual or semi-annual love-fest that I experience when I see Ms. Powerhouse. I am very grateful to be relaxing more and fearing less! It’s also a way to enjoy the good in any situation – not needing for it to be more or better. If I accept that I see Nikki as often as is best to see her, then I don’t have to worry that anything’s missing. Nothing is missing. All is well!

 

I am also grateful for my other writer friends whom I share enriching and encouraging conversations with, especially those who have similar neuroses as mine whose commiseration always soothes my weirdo soul! It’s always good to know what Elisabeth Kubler-Ross taught, “I’m not okay, you’re not okay, and that’s okay!”



--
Make yourself a beautiful day!
 
Cassendre Xavier
(aka Amethyste Rah, aka Amrita Waterfalls)
"renaissance negresse & ARTrepreneur"
(musician/writer/actress/fine artist)
Award-winning founder & director of the Black Women's Arts Festival, and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series
6 CDs at CD Baby: http://tinyurl.com/CXCDBaby
2 CDs on iTunes: http://tinyurl.com/CXiTunes
Wisdom Magazine articles: http://tinyurl.com/CXWisdom
Official YouTube Channel: http://tinyurl.com/CXYouTube
New website coming soon!
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Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Cassendre has posted a new update...

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Cassendre has posted a new update message to "Patrons of the renaissance negresse"

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New Update from Cassendre...
Ask the Universe for a Direct Route to Your Dreams

Dear Friends!

Something nifty happened to me this morning I feel like sharing with thyselves
As you may or may not know, I live about an hour outside of Philadelphia now, in a cozy suburb with much less public transportation than I was used to.
After the snow we just had, this morning I called the public transportation department to find out if the buses were running as usual. I was told they were.
Now, when I first moved here in August, I felt trapped and unfamiliar with the system and so I didnt get out much. And I also thought (because I didnt put in enough energy to find out otherwise, and because I was too depressed to have the energy to find out otherwise, and because I was too bummed to even believe in otherwise) that I would need, like, three buses to get to the main train center to get back to Philly for necessary healthcare (to get my meds, etc.) and business.
As the weeks went by, I started to feel better, expect and believe for more, and I discovered I only needed two, not three, buses to get to the train station.
In month five (January, and five, incidentally, is the number of change, according to basic numerology!), I feel much better, and I have the energy to want more and I expect more as well.
Having the energy to go out, I discovered the bus 1 of 2 that I normally took from near where I live to the mall where I would transfer to bus 2 of 2 that would take me to the train station actually goes within 3 blocks of the station itself! I dont need a transfer. I dont need a transfer!
So, how and why is it that in month five I finally discover I can take just one bus to Apple Street then walk three blocks to the train station?
Because my consciousness changed. My outlook and my emotions changed.
In December 2009, I wrote a Wisdom Magazine article called Expecting the Universes Elevator (http://wisdom-magazine.com/Article.aspx/1425). It was about how when I busk, and/or travel with my guitar and suitcase of CDs, I always look for ways to make my load lighter, and that means escalators, ramps, automatically opening doors, and especially elevators. Being a people watcher, I notice many people with physical disabilities, heavy packages, children in strollers, take much more difficult routes in travel than I do. I made a mental note then to try to apply my expectation of ease when doing my creative visualizations, as taught by Shakti Gawain, aligning my vibration as taught by Abraham-Hicks who coined the term Law of Attraction and authored over 300 books and audio recordings including Ask & It Is Given: Learning to Manifest Your Desires, and my feelingizations as coined and taught by Arielle Ford, author of The Soulmate Secret: Manifest the Love of Your Life with the Law of Attraction, the latter of which by the way Ive read in hardcover, paperback, and my favorite, audiobook version!
The call this morning to confirm that this bus was running and goes directly where I need to go, rather than the three buses of a much more inconvenient journey just five months ago really helped me see my change in consciousness and how easily things can change in a moment.
I realized how powerful consciousness is, my conscious state of mind, and how putting just a little bit of energy each day adjusting and tuning myself to the vibration of positive expectation can make a real difference.
Thats what Id like to share with you today, and invite you to take a little time, whether its to meditate on a concept, or even just try to feel your emotions and guide them to a better feeling place and start the dream from there.
In just a few minutes every day, we can make ourselves feel better, and from there our thoughts, expectations, and our lives improve, positively influencing the world around us and making it a better place.


I hope that helps you today, and I thank you so much for reading!

--
Make yourself a beautiful day!

Cassendre Xavier
(aka Amethyste Rah, aka Amrita Waterfalls)
"renaissance negresse & ARTrepreneur"
(musician/writer/actress/fine artist)
Award-winning founder & director of the Black Women's Arts Festival, and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series
6 CDs at CD Baby: http://tinyurl.com/CXCDBaby
2 CDs on iTunes: http://tinyurl.com/CXiTunes
Wisdom Magazine articles: http://tinyurl.com/CXWisdom
Official YouTube Channel: http://tinyurl.com/CXYouTube
Facebook: http://facebook.com/cassendrexavier
Twitter: http://twitter.com/cassendrexavier
Become a Patron of the renaissance negresse today! http://www.gofundme.com/3ik8b8



MORE ABOUT CASSENDRE: A lifelong student of spirituality, Cassendre Xavier (aka Amethyste Rah, aka Amrita Waterfalls) has been ministering through the creative, healing, and sensual arts since 1991. She received a $15,000 Leeway Transformation Award in December 2005 for her "work in art and social change", and was ordained as an Interfaith Minister of the Universal Life Church of Modesto, California on September 19, 2010. She is also involved in the addictions/abuse/recovery, raw vegan/live foods, polyamory, LGBTQ, and alternative lifestyle communities, respectively. Cassendre releases new music and guided meditation downloads and ebooks regularly, which you can learn more about by sending a blank email subscribing to her official email list: cassendrexavier-subscribe@yahoogroups.com. New website coming soon, and CD store in the meanwhile at http://cassEndrExavier.com!



Copyright 2014 by Cassendre Xavier. All rights reserved.


Source/Share: http://cassendrexavier.blogspot.com/2014/01/ask-universe-for-direct-route-to-your.html

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