Thursday, July 31, 2014

The renaissance negresse on Repeatedly Losing and Replacing...

 Two things the renaissance negresse she hate: 1) Wasting things, and 2) Repeating herself. Some time ago I got a request from a CD selling company to either pay to have my excess unsold CDs shipped back to me, or know they'd be recycled. I wanted them back, but couldn't afford to pay shipping, so they got recycled. Now, not too much time later, I'm getting notices I need to restock. Two of my titles have sold out, and I'm happy about that. What I'm not happy about is scrounging to package and mail CDs that not so long ago were in the warehouse. Spending my time, energy and money to redo something that never needed to be undone in the first place.
 But I'm trying to feel better about the situation. I don't know why it's bothering me so much. I lost the bed my late beloved gave me to an unpaid storage unit, and even that didn't bother me so much (because I know the bed and how he helped me carry it up to my apartment, even with his cardiac illness, is in my heart and will always be there). 
 There are lessons in everything, and what I'm learning is that the universe is showing me spaces where I'm lacking abundance, and for no good reason. There's no good reason the renaissance negresse she should not have ample stock and the easy ability to mail anywhere anytime. Ideally, I have someone to do that, on retainer. So, on the way to creating that is an opportunity to let go of resentment, increase my gratitude and appreciation.
 So, I'm acknowledging that I am abundant enough to have lost not only a large storage unit of things months ago, and the bed my late beloved gave me, but also the CDs that were recycled and now must be replaced.
 I am looking at the gifts of everything. Losing the storage unit freed me up to prepare to move and imagine myself making bigger moving plans in the future. I felt less loaded down by stuffs. Stuffs brings ya down, man. It's good to lighten the load every now and then.
 And I am grateful for the opportunity to give myself what I need to be as abundant outwardly as the renaissance negresse she is in her innards. I mean, you know what I mean.

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Make yourself a beautiful day!

Cassendre Xavier
(aka Amethyste Rah, aka Amrita Waterfalls)
“renaissance negresse & ARTrepreneur”
(musician/writer/actress/fine artist)
Leeway Transformation Award-Winning founder & executive director of the Black Women’s Arts Festival (Est. 2003) and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002). 

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