Monday, May 12, 2014

Tom Chronicles: A Very Good Driver

Tom Chronicles: A Very Good Driver
You can always tell how good a man is in bed by the way he drives.
I was on the trolley earlier today and the driver kept stopping and starting suddenly, rarely able to come to a smooth stop, and making our heads and necks jerk back and forth as a result.
I watched him carefully. His feet on the pedals. It seemed he could not resist the urge to make the trolley jump. Did he enjoy that? Was it some kind of a thrill for him? Was it a necessary point of trolley conductery I, being a non-driving, public transportation-dependent passenger, was totally unhip to? If the latter was the case, why is it that not all trolley drivers did it? Was it a compulsion for him?
As I kept watch of his seeingly nervous tic, I thought sadly of his love life. This guy is so single, I thought. No way he has a wife at home waiting for his jerky, can't finish one smooth move self. Yes, I was sure of it. He is both very very nervous, and very very single.
I thought then of his opposite: My dearly departed Tom, who cruised so smoothly and effortlessly in whatever vehicle he drove, whether it was one of his sedans, or his white Ford truck, the latter of which I breathlessly and swooningly watched him maneuver over his front lawn once, during construction. Watching him handle that truck was such a turn on that moment, and every time I was in any vehicle with him it was foreplay and it was on.
I wish I'd been one of his co-workers when he drove a tugboat at his job as a merchant marine tugboat captain. I would later learn after his passing that this was a coveted, high-up, and highly respected position in his field – one that required much expertise and responsibility.

If you ever heard my two features at the Erotic Literary Salon, you know more about Tom's prowess in the boudoir.
But if you didn't, imagine the following tugboat captain job description applied to, oh, I dunno, say, high quality bootknockery?

Tugboat Captain: Commands tugboat to tow barges and ships into and out of harbors, estuaries, straits, and sounds, and on rivers, lakes, and bays: Signals workers on deck to rig towlines to barges or ship to be towed. Determines course and towing speed on basis of specialized knowledge of local winds, weather, tides, and current. Steers tugboat to push or pull barges to destination and to berth and unberth ships, avoiding reefs, outlying shoals, and other hazards to shipping, utilizing navigation devices, for example radar, sonic depth finder, compass and sextant and aids to navigation, for example lighthouses and buoys. Directs placement of suction hose or siphon to pump water from hold of barge, and signals workers to repair leak. Is required to hold license issued by U.S. Coast Guard.” – Courtesy of

Yes, that was Tom. He was so masterful behind the wheel.
I remember once at breakfast at a diner I asked him to talk more about his work. One of the things he said that really stayed and continues to stay with me is that what he really enjoys is, “Controlling large objects.”
That says so much about him, the smooth, calm, patient, and specific work he did behind the wheel, under the sheets with this Reubenesque renaissance negresse, and with her heart.
Yes, that was my Tom: The best driver I ever met.

(Image: Delta Captain After Sunset, by Bryan Costales)


Make yourself a beautiful day!

Cassendre Xavier
(aka Amethyste Rah, aka Amrita Waterfalls)
“renaissance negresse & ARTrepreneur”
(musician/writer/actress/fine artist)

Leeway Transformation Award-Winning founder & director of the Black Women’s Arts Festival (Est. 2003) BWAF (

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Save the Dates of my upcoming musical appearances!
Sat June 7, 2014 - Lansdowne Farmer's Market 10:30am-12:30pm
Thurs. October 23, 2014 – Lansdowne Folk Club, Lansdowne PA (Opening for Dave Nachmanoff)

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