Thursday, December 25, 2014

Not a Hoarder, Just Depressed!

Dear Friends,
One of the premises in my forthcoming book "Never Live Without a Deadline Again" is that having a mandatory reason to accomplish a task can be very effective. Nothing is truer than for the bipolar/depressed persun!
 Because it's Christmas, I "must" go through the piles o' stuff in my room, to find the purchases made throughout the year. My room looks like a scene from that show "Hoarders", but I'm not a hoarder, I'm just depressed! And because of that, I haven't gone out and purchased storage containers for the guest room I'm temporarily staying in with my host family of relatives who took me in shortly after the passing of my late partner Tom.
 I will be leaving here in a couple of months, for Philadelphia, and if it weren't for Christmas, I'd likely not be going through these bags of books and other items. It's overwhelming when you collect stuffs and got no drawers and such to put said stuffs in. They be addin' up!! 
 I'm also aware that clutter creates depression, so what began as a tidy room with some bags of stuff I moved in with, became more stuff I brought in because I never had places to put the contents of those bags (clothes, shoes, books, etc.). I am, after all, staying in a guest room. So I see now that all my intentions to tidy up weren't able to be fulfilled due to various reasons including unemployment or under-employment or difficulty getting around a place with limited public transportation, etc. 
 Anyway, I'm grateful that now, at 7:20pm, I have made some progress, with my music playing in the background to keep me entertained but not distracted as TV would make me.
 Thank you, Christmas, and thank you readers, for making my life more meaningful through sharing.

--

-- 
Make yourself a beautiful day!

Cassendre Xavier
(aka Amethyste Rah, aka Amrita Waterfalls)
“renaissance negresse & ARTrepreneur”
(musician/writer/actress/fine artist)
Leeway Transformation Award-Winning founder & executive director of the Black Women’s Arts Festival (Est. 2003) and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002). 
Visit the Cassendre Xavier Music Gallery at CD Baby: http://cdbaby.com/all/cassendre 
Visit Cassendre's iTunes storefront: http://tinyurl.com/CXiTunes
Visit Cassendre's Amazon song singles page: http://amzn.to/1xrklOW
Official website: http://cassendrexavier.com

"Soulmate Attraction for the Rest of Us" Christmas Greeting!

Dear Friends,

Merry Christmas, everyone! Single or not, every day can be as romantic as you want your life to be! Fill every day with sweetness - be kind to yourself, add beauty to yours and others' lives and surroundings. Stay in touch in ways that work for you - write letters, make phone calls, spend time alone (rock your solitude!), be with friends. Select your friends and family of origin and choice. Choose. You can have one or several romantic partners, on any and various level(s) of commitment or intimacy. Or you can be single, un-partnered, and fabulous! You can do what you want and inspire others with your self-caring, inner joy, and abundant, positive energy and attitude. You need not be limited by anything, imagined or real, physical or emotional. You can have a love affair with your life that goes far beyond who is chosen or who chooses to be part of it. You can make it so your life is so enjoyable to you, even when things are difficult, that others won't be able to resist joining you in your celebration of life, resulting in the feeling that you are enough, life is enough, on its terms, and that everything and everyone, is merely extra. 

--Soulmate Attraction for the Rest of Us: Dating & Relationships for the Poly, Recovering, Survivor & Tantric
*Soulmate Attraction for the Rest of Us articles at Wisdom Magazine http://tinyurl.com/CXWisdom
*Soulmate Attraction for the Rest of Us forthcoming book
*Same-titled previous workshop at Sisterspace Weekend in Darlington MD Sept 2014 
*Same-titled forthcoming workshop at the 10th Annual Poly Living Conference in Philadelphia Feb 2015!
*All by Cassendre Xavier


P.S. For me, I imagine the beverage in these glasses are non-alcoholic sparkling cider... pear! Use your imagination and make life lovely (and loveRly)!

-- 

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Make yourself a beautiful day!

Cassendre Xavier 


(aka Amethyste Rah, aka Amrita Waterfalls)
“renaissance negresse & ARTrepreneur”
(musician/writer/actress/fine artist)
Leeway Transformation Award-Winning founder & executive director of the Black Women’s Arts Festival (Est. 2003) and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002). 
Visit the Cassendre Xavier Music Gallery at CD Baby: http://cdbaby.com/all/cassendre 
Visit Cassendre's iTunes storefront: http://tinyurl.com/CXiTunes
Visit Cassendre's Amazon song singles page: http://amzn.to/1xrklOW
Official website: http://cassendrexavier.com

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Pic Quote: Embrace Beautiful Lessons

It doesn't always feel so great, but everything has a beautiful lesson in it for us if we choose to *embracify it and junk. (*Aka "embracicate.")


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Make yourself a beautiful day!

Cassendre Xavier
(aka Amethyste Rah, aka Amrita Waterfalls)
“renaissance negresse & ARTrepreneur”
(musician/writer/actress/fine artist)
Leeway Transformation Award-Winning founder & executive director of the Black Women’s Arts Festival (Est. 2003) and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002). 
Visit the Cassendre Xavier Music Gallery at CD Baby: http://cdbaby.com/all/cassendre 
Visit Cassendre's iTunes storefront: http://tinyurl.com/CXiTunes
Visit Cassendre's Amazon song singles page: http://amzn.to/1xrklOW
Official website: http://cassendrexavier.com

Saturday, December 20, 2014

Hatred's Too Easy (song, lyrics, video)


Description, lyrics, and credits:

Singer-songwriter-guitarist Cassendre Xavier performs original song "Hatred's Too Easy" from her album Live at the Kraftbrau, Kalamazoo http://www.cdbaby.com/all/cassendre. [If you hear harmony vocals or whistling, that's Cassendre adding to the video recording of the audio recording.] Visit http://www.cassendrexavier.com for music, show dates, and complete biographical info.
Lyrics and music Copyright  & Publishing © 2004 by Cassendre Xavier, CX Unlimited Music Publishing (ASCAP).

Hatred's Too Easy
Words, Music, Vocals and Guitar by Cassendre Xavier

Moonlight and angelfire
Glow in your eyes tonight
I hope that we don't 
Why must always

Father does not approve
Friends are supportive
And mother will tolerate
As long as we're happy

We look at differences
We listen for accents
We read the words that folks are called
But what's in a name

We seem a lot alike
More often we're different
I think we would even fight
If we all looked the same

Walking through the mire
Knees deep in falseness
We don't seem to ever tire
When we walk together

Patience is difficult
Silence is golden
And anger's not always bad
But hatred's too easy


Words, Music, Vocals and Guitar by Cassendre Xavier
Copyright  & Publishing © 2004 by Cassendre Xavier, CX Unlimited Music Publishing (ASCAP).

-- 
Make yourself a beautiful day!

Cassendre Xavier
(aka Amethyste Rah, aka Amrita Waterfalls)
“renaissance negresse & ARTrepreneur”
(musician/writer/actress/fine artist)
Leeway Transformation Award-Winning founder & executive director of the Black Women’s Arts Festival (Est. 2003) and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002). 
Visit the Cassendre Xavier Music Gallery at CD Baby: http://cdbaby.com/all/cassendre 
Visit Cassendre's iTunes storefront: http://tinyurl.com/CXiTunes
Visit Cassendre's Amazon song singles page: http://amzn.to/1xrklOW
Official website: http://cassendrexavier.com

Friday, December 12, 2014

Maya Angelou Is Not Dead

Dear Friends,

I've been thinking a lot about Dr. Maya Angelou lately. I related to this African-American female multi-media artist and activist so much, this persun whose thirst for living and courage reminded me of myself and inspired me to be greater than I was, and you know what? I don't feel she's really dead.She was so strong in life, until the end, where even with her pain and in a wheelchair she traveled, spoke, and performed in films.
 My heart goes out to her son Guy and her many "children" and dear close friends, because I know they feel her physical loss as I feel the physical loss of my late partner Tom who passed away in March 2013, because the closer you are to someone in the flesh, the more you miss them when they are no longer in that form.
 But being that I have never touched nor been touched by Dr. Angelou in the flesh, I benefit from not having that pain, and only the gift of her endless spirit as she lived it and left records of in her wide and varied body of work.
 Maya always encouraged us, every woman and every man, girl and boy of every color, to be more of what we could be - to be better, to be loving, to be generous, to be strong.
 She comes to me even now when I am weak in those things, which is so very often, and prompts me to think of taking action, even when or if I do not. 
 This, to me, is the essence of immortality, not only living one's life in a fabulous way, making a difference in our world around us, and touching as many hearts as we are able through our living and our lives while we are here, but to inspire. To inspire others to action, perhaps more than having loved, is what to me makes immortality. Yes, we are remembered by the love we gave while we are alive, the generosity of our actions, the forgiveness we tried to do, the patience we tried to exhibit, those we tried to include, the gentleness we tried to embody. 
 But it is also the action we inspire in others that makes the memory of who we are in life go on forever. 
 Dr. Maya Angelou stills whispers to me now: "Love. Act. Be better. Be stronger. Get up. Forgive. Be kind. Act."
 And I thank her for still being here, and showing me the way.


[Born Marguerite Annie Johnson; April 4, 1928 – May 28, 2014), Maya Angelou was an American author, poet, dancer, actress and singer. She published seven autobiographies, three books of essays, and several books of poetry, and was credited with a list of plays, movies, and television shows spanning over 50 years. She received dozens of awards and more than 50 honorary degrees. --Wikipedia ]
 
--

-- 
Make yourself a beautiful day!

Cassendre Xavier
(aka Amethyste Rah, aka Amrita Waterfalls)
“renaissance negresse & ARTrepreneur”
(musician/writer/actress/fine artist)
Leeway Transformation Award-Winning founder & executive director of the Black Women’s Arts Festival (Est. 2003) and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002). 
Visit the Cassendre Xavier Music Gallery at CD Baby: http://cdbaby.com/all/cassendre 
Visit Cassendre's iTunes storefront: http://tinyurl.com/CXiTunes
Visit Cassendre's Amazon song singles page: http://amzn.to/1xrklOW
Official website: http://cassendrexavier.com

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Waiting for a Vision

Dear Friends!

Just CC'ing you on something I just posted on Twitters, The, and Facebooks, The

Once you have a vision, then you can move on it. And it's alright to wait until the vision comes. Waiting is part of the work. ~Cassendre Xavier, renaissance negresse http://cassEndrExavier.com

(And thanks, folks, for the email I got from CD Baby this week that they're sending me money. Whoo-hoo!) http://cdbaby.com/all/cassendre. And for the more techno-savvy among the likes of ye: http://tinyurl.com/CXiTunes

--

-- 
Make yourself a beautiful day!

Cassendre Xavier
(aka Amethyste Rah, aka Amrita Waterfalls)
“renaissance negresse & ARTrepreneur”
(musician/writer/actress/fine artist)
Leeway Transformation Award-Winning founder & executive director of the Black Women’s Arts Festival (Est. 2003) and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002). 
Visit the Cassendre Xavier Music Gallery at CD Baby: http://cdbaby.com/all/cassendre 
Visit Cassendre's iTunes storefront: http://tinyurl.com/CXiTunes
Visit Cassendre's Amazon song singles page: http://amzn.to/1xrklOW
Official website: http://cassendrexavier.com

Monday, December 1, 2014

Introducing Diamond The Raw Food Dog!

INTRODUCING DIAMOND THE RAW FOOD DOG! http://youtu.be/_MdUfMvHlaY

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Recorded on November 22, 2014. I discovered Diamond, the black female rat terrier owned by my host family enjoys raw vegetables! Here she is being hand-fed slices of raw sweet potatoes.

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Make yourself a beautiful day!

Cassendre Xavier
(aka Amethyste Rah, aka Amrita Waterfalls)
“renaissance negresse & ARTrepreneur”
(musician/writer/actress/fine artist)
Leeway Transformation Award-Winning founder & executive director of the Black Women’s Arts Festival (Est. 2003) and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002). 
Visit the Cassendre Xavier Music Gallery at CD Baby: http://cdbaby.com/all/cassendre 
Visit Cassendre's iTunes storefront: http://tinyurl.com/CXiTunes
Visit Cassendre's Amazon song singles page: http://amzn.to/1xrklOW
Official website: http://cassendrexavier.com

============
COMING SOON (Spring 2015)!!
Revised and expanded edition of "Expanding Your Capacity for Joy: A Raw Vegan Comfort Book, Sourcebook & Journal" by Cassendre Xavier

2 Things I Know about Depression, Art & Creativity

Dear Friends,

As you may know from my frequent posteries aka "postations" on Facebooks, The, I am quite depressed right now. And here's what I just postified (aka "postized"):

2 Things I Know: 1) Anyone who's depressed, and still alive, and is still somehow able to get things done is a fierce champion. 2) Art redeems all and is meant to be used. Art and creativity save lives over and over again. Don't ever take them for granted!


--

-- 
Make yourself a beautiful day!

Cassendre Xavier
(aka Amethyste Rah, aka Amrita Waterfalls)
“renaissance negresse & ARTrepreneur”
(musician/writer/actress/fine artist)
Leeway Transformation Award-Winning founder & executive director of the Black Women’s Arts Festival (Est. 2003) and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002). 
Visit the Cassendre Xavier Music Gallery at CD Baby: http://cdbaby.com/all/cassendre 
Visit Cassendre's iTunes storefront: http://tinyurl.com/CXiTunes
Visit Cassendre's Amazon song singles page: http://amzn.to/1xrklOW
Official website: http://cassendrexavier.com

No Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series in December - Happy Holidays!

Dear Friends,

This is a brief announcement letting you know that there will be no Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series in December! Happy Holidays! (Next: Jan.8th featuring Debra D'Alessandro!) www.WomensWritingSeries.org

-- 

-- 
Make yourself a beautiful day!

Cassendre Xavier
(aka Amethyste Rah, aka Amrita Waterfalls)
“renaissance negresse & ARTrepreneur”
(musician/writer/actress/fine artist)
Leeway Transformation Award-Winning founder & executive director of the Black Women’s Arts Festival (Est. 2003) and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002). 
Visit the Cassendre Xavier Music Gallery at CD Baby: http://cdbaby.com/all/cassendre 
Visit Cassendre's iTunes storefront: http://tinyurl.com/CXiTunes
Visit Cassendre's Amazon song singles page: http://amzn.to/1xrklOW
Official website: http://cassendrexavier.com

Thursday, November 27, 2014

I'm Happy to Be Alive (song / video)

Dear Friends,

Please enjoy my song "Happy to be Alive."

Appropriate for Thanksgiving, n'est pas? :-)
Available on The Whittenberg Sessions, life at the kraftbrau, kalamazoo! and Live at Tin Angel. http://cdbaby.com/all/cassendre ..... http://tinyurl.com/CXiTunes
For more videos on "happy to be alive" http://bit.ly/1zzHNJn

--

-- 
Make yourself a beautiful day!

Cassendre Xavier
(aka Amethyste Rah, aka Amrita Waterfalls)
“renaissance negresse & ARTrepreneur”
(musician/writer/actress/fine artist)
Leeway Transformation Award-Winning founder & executive director of the Black Women’s Arts Festival (Est. 2003) and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002). 
Visit the Cassendre Xavier Music Gallery at CD Baby: http://cdbaby.com/all/cassendre 
Visit Cassendre's iTunes storefront: http://tinyurl.com/CXiTunes
Visit Cassendre's Amazon song singles page: http://amzn.to/1xrklOW
Official website: http://cassendrexavier.com

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Least Harmful Yogurt Recipe

Hi there!

Are you attracted to yogurt for:

a) Digestive health
b) Coochie health
c) Calcium
d) Potassium

...but afeared of all the sugar and not interested in eating it plain?

Solution:

a) Use plain instead of sour cream
b) Make a sweet version with this recipe:

1 cup plain non-fat yogurt
1 Tablespoon organic molasses (760 mgs potassium, plus iron, etc.)
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract or flavoring

Stir and enjoy! (It's not as sweet as regular vanilla yogurt, but has way less sugar and since you're craving it will taste sweeter anyway. I know when I took just one bite of plain it tasted fairly sweet to me already. That's the thing - when you crave a thing, it's delicious to you!)

The above recipe is written by a sexually active, menstruating woman with hypertension. Hence the craving for active cultures, iron, and potassium, which are known to benefit all conditions, respectively.
Remember, I am an artist, not physician or nutritionist. This info is for educational and entertainment porpoises only, and you should always use your own wisdom and common sense at your own risk and benefit!



-- 
Make yourself a beautiful day!

Cassendre Xavier
(aka Amethyste Rah, aka Amrita Waterfalls)
“renaissance negresse & ARTrepreneur”
(musician/writer/actress/fine artist)
Leeway Transformation Award-Winning founder & executive director of the Black Women’s Arts Festival (Est. 2003) and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002). 
Visit the Cassendre Xavier Music Gallery at CD Baby: http://cdbaby.com/all/cassendre 
Visit Cassendre's iTunes storefront: http://tinyurl.com/CXiTunes
Visit Cassendre's Amazon song singles page: http://amzn.to/1xrklOW
Official website: http://cassendrexavier.com

The Job of the Writer (new poem from "secrets & lies" 2015)

"If you're not willing to completely embarrass yourself on a regular basis, you can't be a strong artist." ~Cassendre Xavier, On Acting, Writing & Being


Dear Friends,

Please enjoy The Job of the Writer, a new poem and excerpt from my soon to be reissued "secrets & lies: poetry and other words"!


The job of the writer is to write
S/he must speak hir biggest fears and fantasies
regardless of the shaming or glory they may bring hir
The job of the writer is to become
That which s/he was created to be
And share the journey of her learnings and failings
Successes and hopes
Ridiculous embarrassings 
And improper grammar if s/he feels it
The writer is to be authentic
And figure out by hir work
Why s/he was born this way
S/he must rise to hir being.
The job of the writer 
is to say those things
One should never, ever say
The writer must say and mean it
And not be afraid of it
And not think hirself better nor worse for it
But simply be
Simply be a writer who writes.
The writer's life will depend, be healed
And glow brighter for hir efforts
At simply being
A writer.
The job of the writer is to be
To live, to experience, but above all
To abundantly, unashamedly, and unpretentiously
Write.
The job of the writer is
to create worlds. 
The mind of the writer
forms universes 
not seen before.
And through the spoken visions
of the writer
We change
Our world changes
Our universe becomes
What many dreamed
But could not say
For they were not writers
This is the job of the writer
To speak things of the heart
Which is the united and combined Heart
Of All
The job of the writer is to live
To create
To become
To learn
To succeed
To fail
To love
To remove the layers
Of what hides
Behind our strongest passions and repressed fears
The job of the writer is simply
To write
To write
And to write.


(c) Copyright 2014 by Cassendre Xavier. All rights reserved. Permission granted to share parts or all of this article as long as proper credit is given and URL is included: http://cassendrexavier.com.
-- 

-- 
Make yourself a beautiful day!

Cassendre Xavier
(aka Amethyste Rah, aka Amrita Waterfalls)
“renaissance negresse & ARTrepreneur”
(musician/writer/actress/fine artist)
Leeway Transformation Award-Winning founder & executive director of the Black Women’s Arts Festival (Est. 2003) and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002). 
Visit the Cassendre Xavier Music Gallery at CD Baby: http://cdbaby.com/all/cassendre 
Visit Cassendre's iTunes storefront: http://tinyurl.com/CXiTunes
Visit Cassendre's Amazon song singles page: http://amzn.to/1xrklOW
Official website: http://cassendrexavier.com

Sunday, November 23, 2014

If I Were Thin (Poem)

So I was searching YouTube for something to post - one of my songs or something. It's very difficult to choose of the many original and cover, live and studio, concert and album songs. And I just scanned through the other videos, too, the guided meditations, the affirmations, the raw food preppery (aka "prepation"). But I saw "If I Were Thin" a poem from my first chapbook "secrets & lies: poetry and other words" and remembered how much people enjoyed hearing me read it at the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series and other events. So here it is http://youtu.be/7Lydlc23KI0. I hope you like it, and do be on the lookout for my soon-to-be re-issued "secrets & lies"!

--

-- 
Make yourself a beautiful day!

Cassendre Xavier
(aka Amethyste Rah, aka Amrita Waterfalls)
“renaissance negresse & ARTrepreneur”
(musician/writer/actress/fine artist)
Leeway Transformation Award-Winning founder & executive director of the Black Women’s Arts Festival (Est. 2003) and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002). 

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Next-Day Muscle Soreness (Or: The Best Kind of Exercise)

So yesterday around 11pm I started noticing my abs were sore, like I had done a bunch of sit-ups or something. Then I remembered the "or something". I got laid the day before! 
 When you have sex, you move around in ways you don't, usually, and you can get a pretty good work-out. 
 The previous couple of days, I'd written in my "Diary of a renaissance negresse" that I had "no sex drive". Well, I can attest, this dame certainly still does, and what a relief that is!
 The slight bummer, though, is that in The Olden Days, like when I was in high school, I'd feel the aftereffects (soreness) of a workout the day after. A few years ago I noticed it now takes 2. I'm hoping this has more to do with the fact that I don't exercise often enough than to do with aging. 
 The only way to test that theory is to get busy movin'.
 Hey, I'm just now noticing my pecs are feelin' a little sore, too. Whoo-hoo! I wonder what next I'll discover got some movery on that lovely day.
 Glad to be back 'pon the horse o' love.
 May you, too, enjoy the company of another, as often as it pleases thyselves to do so!

[Picture: Group shot of my friends and co-Cleavage Celebrators! (My Birthday/Valentine's/Cleavage Party, circa 2003) 
From left: Jill Galman, Amy Dalton, Moi, Moi's date, the partner of Betsy Self, and Betsy Self. I love that I can only remember the women's names! If you'd like to see more pictures of Moi: Clicketh thyself in the hereward direccione: https://www.facebook.com/cassendrexavier]

-- 
Make yourself a beautiful day!

Cassendre Xavier
(aka Amethyste Rah, aka Amrita Waterfalls)
“renaissance negresse & ARTrepreneur”
(musician/writer/actress/fine artist)
Leeway Transformation Award-Winning founder & executive director of the Black Women’s Arts Festival (Est. 2003) and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002). 
Visit the Cassendre Xavier Music Gallery at CD Baby: http://cdbaby.com/all/cassendre 
Visit Cassendre's iTunes storefront: http://tinyurl.com/CXiTunes
Visit Cassendre's Amazon song singles page: http://amzn.to/1xrklOW
Official website: http://cassendrexavier.com

Saturday, November 15, 2014

Diary of a renaissance negresse

DIARY OF A RENAISSANCE NEGRESSE
by Cassendre Xavier 

Saturday, November 16, 2014

WHO IS THE RENAISSANCE *NEGRESSE?

 Haitian/Chinese-American multi-media healing artist Cassendre Xavier coined the term *"renaissance negresse" in 2002. A musician, writer, actress, and visual artist, Xavier (who sometimes works under the names Amethyste Rah and Amrita Waterfalls, and is also an ordained interfaith minister) says the term describes a black woman who is skilled or gifted in 3 or more arts. Xavier is a recipient of a Leeway Transformation Award for her work as a community cultural arts advocate, having founded and directed several Philadelphia arts initiatives including the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002) and the Black Women's Arts Festival (Est. 2003), as well as several peer support groups related to personal growth, creativity, healing, and recovery. She is originally from Brooklyn, NY and has been living creatively and joyfully in Philadelphia since 1990. [*"Negresse, Negre: In the French- and Spanish-speaking Caribbean Islands, these words often have a connotation of affection, entirely non-racial in meaning. `Ma petite negresse, mon negre, are equivalent to `My dear, my darling, my sweet.'" [From Masters of the Dew, a contemporary classic novel by the Haitian author Jacques Roumain, translated by Langston Hughes and Mercer Cook.]



It's amazing how much better I feel having had enough sleep over the last several days. For months I've been getting an average of 4 hours of sleep per night. This is due to my work and commuting schedule, for which I prayed a change, and which has happened in that at least for the next two weeks I'm working only one day per week. And by "work" I mean the bookstore job. A work week for the renaissance negresse is always full, regardless of what the day job requires.
 I am feeling very bipolar these days. Grateful the weather is expressing itself fully, but really tired of the warm again gold again nonsense that has me never quite dressed right for the weather.
 Particularly bummery is the overheating I experience, in house, in cars. I dress warmly for the outside, then when I'm in you could bake bread with what's going on under my clothes.The only thing keeping me from getting sick is telling my body that i/it won't.
 Feeling very stuck in my life. Only constant conversation with the angels calms me to remember to take one step and action at a time. It seems like I have a mountain of stuff to fix. Then I remember to breathe and keep my vision focused on what I want. I am relieved in recognizing the progress and likelihood I will have what I want.
 I am writing a lot. Poetry, book manuscripts. It's very fulfilling.
 It's frustrating not having an immediate outlet. Wish I could just press a button and have these things turned into books. But no. I must do workshops, classes, learn formatting, invite collaborators, negotiate payments and other terms, prepare book proposals, all the things everyone must do. I keep reminding myself I asked for this experience of life as a humyn, being.
 I am working now on making more time for what counts. I meet wonderful people and start wonderful projects which suffer because I don't make enough time to connect with others. I am weeks and months behind in emailing people I actually care about maintaining connections with. It was careless of me to let my schedule get like this. But I have learned one thing: We have all the time in world. It's what we choose to do with it that counts. Whenever anyone says, "I didn't have time..." do do a thing, it just means they didn't care about it enough to do it. We can choose always to make time to do a thing, including caring for ourselves.
 I realized the other that I'm acting from fear a lot of the time. It hasn't always been this way, but since Tom died last year my circumstances and my constitution for changing them have been at a long-dwelling low. I never realized how much support I was receiving from that relationship. I really miss having someone to talk to about my day and listening to theirs. It's a lot harder to do well for yourself when you're alone, and you have self-esteem issues. But I realize I'm not alone.
 Self-care is always the answer. No matter what's going on. You're always going to be there with yourself, as long as you're alive, so might as well be there for yourself as well.
 I've been really enjoying collecting books that inform my writing. It's like when I used to collect cassettes to visualize making my own recordings, then I'd make my own cassette inserts, and then years later, I actually did record and release my own music. And then I collected chapbooks, made mock-ups, then had my own chapbooks. Then I was in several anthologies. Then I published my own spiral bound book. Now I'm working on self-publishing again, online. I tried before, on Lulu, but could never figure out the formatting. Hopefully with CreateSpace of Amazon it will be easier. It will also help that I've enlisted my brother's help. He actually knows about this stuff. When he said the word "bleed" among the other formatting terms as we spoke, I squealed with delight because that's the biggest scariest word to me, and he's got it down. The universe is grand and we are truly meant to need each other.
 I've got no sex drive. Can't tell if it's depression, my changing hormones, circumstances, or both. I have no motivation to hook up, although underneath my skin I've released a call for companionship. 
 I realized something recently:

1) All my relationships come from people I meet at my work, doing what I love.
2) Most of my friendships are with my lovers.

This realization has changed the way I do things socially. 
I used to go out socially with friends. I used to actually have friend. You know, that I didn't boff. But the more time that goes by, the more projects and busier I get, the less time and patience I have in making a bunch of friends. I have no time for friendship in the sense that I used to in the olden days. 
 At the same time, I've developed as a lover, being clear on being poly, and engaging with others in that community. All my needs are fulfilled that way. I meet poly folks doing my work, attending poly conferences, and become involved in romances with people who "get it". We're all busy adults who know how to schedule and negotiate not only our time with our lovers, but communicate our feelings and grow individually.
 When you have to come to terms with, and express your feelings of jealousy, insecurity, and tell your partner(s) and/or lover(s), you develop and strengthen your communication skills. You get to know yourself better.

So, I know there are online personals where people meet, and I've used them successfully. In fact, Tom and I met at one. But I keep getting psychic signals that my work is where I'll meet my next significant lovers. The challenge is foregoing the beauty and efficacy (efficiency?) of writing exactly what I'm looking for and putting it out there for likeminded lovers to find and respond to, as have in the past. The answer is, "Write erotica." Which I have been doing, and which hopefully will be "out there" soon.

I met Former Main Squeeze at the 7th annual Poly Living Conference, where I also met 3 others whom I developed burgeoning long-distance relationships with. Main Squeeze was the one that lasted for a couple of years. By the way, I recently submitted a workshop proposal to the 10th Anniversary Poly Living Conference in Philadelphia, February 2015. And I received an email this week that it was accepted! I will be presenting my workshop Soulmate Attraction for the Rest of Us: Dating & Relationships for the Poly, Recovering, Survivor & Tantric, which I presented at SisterSpace Weekend in Darlington, MD this past September. I am beyond thrilled about this, because I've been writing and living this stuff for years. Most recently, I've had articles about this published by Wisdom Magazine's online edition. Related link: http://tinyurl.com/CXWisdom. I met my first serious relationship (with a woman) at a gig at Borders Book Shop. Something told me to mention that I was Haitian in my bio, and sure enough, she who had lived and worked as a nun for two years in Haiti, she who spoke Kreyol better than I did (although I did have the accent), came to see what was up. I have a "friend" now with whom I speak regularly, and he organized one of the most recent concerts I've done. Two of my most significant past lovers I met as a writer. One I "picked up" with a CD of my music. He later attended my Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series, and being a writer himself, became interested in my work and we soon hooked up and maintained a connection and communication that remains to this day. He, and another writer/lover, attended my play "Sex for Survivors" (which co-starred spiritual performer O, vocalist/composer/cellist Monica McIntyre, and poet Samantha Barrow). I met the man who would deflower me through my drummer at the time. They were best friends. And there are more.
I can't see how, the more into my work I get, that I can't meet people who pique my interest in the world of romance and high quality bootknockery. As the past has shown, it's simple math and must happen thusment.


I'm making time to write. This makes me happy.

I had a transitional dinner tonight, 30 minutes after 26 ounces of green smoothie.
In the raw world, transitional means cooked food on the way to being fully raw vegan. In my world, it means transitioning from this to better and better. Enjoying what you have now and working to make it better next time. So, tonight I had steamed yams, collards, and lightly onion-sauteed mushrooms, with frosted mini wheats cereal with soymilk and molasses for dessert. All of this is rich in vitamins, minerals, potassium, calcium, iron, and vitamin B6. Very little fat - only oil for sauteeing and cold-pressed coconut oil in the yams. The best things about this meal were that they were shared (eating with others is one of the most healing things we can do), by someone with similar health issues as I do, and the fiber, water, and fat in them curbed my urge to eat something less healthy.

I'm not happy that the job applications I had on my things to do list today didn't get done. But I'm happy that I set my alarm to wake up for a task I'd promised to help out with today, and that I also set the alarm to watch Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues (very important!), and that I'm writing this.

I've been thinking about writing every single day. Every single day I think about writing, and I write on the train and bus, in notebooks, and I write outlines and mini chapters, and poems and I dream. I want so much time in front of the computer. 
I want to write letters to my friends (the ones who I either was lovers with or may become lovers with, or maybe neither of those things but who are my friends - and by the way I'm recalling something I read once about Alice Walker who apparently had similar theories about friends and making the love with them), etc... 

I don't even have a desk now. What has become of my life? This is why I'm so grateful to be writing on "Life Skills" issues. As a multi-healing artist, it is a tremendous gift to have art as a outlet for the challenges we all go through. The only difference between me and some other biplar depressed chyk with a lifelong eating disorder and who also experienced child sexual abuse and is a writer and artist is that I get to use this stuff to help myself and hopefully help others heal, too.
 
How will I get myself out of this? We shall see.

Meanwhile, thanks for being here.


This is what I listened to while writing this:


Firestarter (Tease) http://youtu.be/sTBfI7Dpf-0
Sugar Free (Juicy) http://tny.gs/1sV1RB7 
Let Me Be the One (Expose) http://tny.gs/11rvCEd
Toujou Remen'w (Shedly Abraham remix of Wham!'s Careless Whisper) http://youtu.be/QYr0xewkkt4

NUTRITION:
(Per serving) Frosted Mini-Wheats cereal: 0 mgs sodium, 200 mgs potassium
8th Continent Vanilla Soymilk: 85 mgs sodium, 460 mgs potassium
Wholesome brand organic molasses: 0 mgs sodium, 730 mgs potassium

FOOD FOR THOUGHT:
If you're feeling overwhelmed by the problems of the day or your entire life problem(s):
a) Take a deep breath. Keep breathing deeply. Close your eyes. Smile. Breathe again.
b) Call upon the higher forces of the universe to support you.
c) Believe you can move forward.
d) Release the need to know how the problem(s) will be solved.
e) Take action. No matter how small, step forward.
f) Ask for help. Talk to a friend. Contact a professional. Build a support team. You are worthy.
g) Release all guilt or shame for seeking assistance. Remember, the most powerful people ask for the most help, and only people with high self-esteem ask for help without feeling guilty about it. You can be one of those people!


[Pics of Cassendre Xavier taken at the Lansdowne Folk Club, October 23, 2014, by Anne Burghard of Germany.]


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Make yourself a beautiful day!

Cassendre Xavier
(aka Amethyste Rah, aka Amrita Waterfalls)
“renaissance negresse & ARTrepreneur”
(musician/writer/actress/fine artist)
Leeway Transformation Award-Winning founder & executive director of the Black Women’s Arts Festival (Est. 2003) and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002). 
Visit the Cassendre Xavier Music Gallery at CD Baby: http://cdbaby.com/all/cassendre 
Visit Cassendre's iTunes storefront: http://tinyurl.com/CXiTunes
Visit Cassendre's Amazon song singles page: http://amzn.to/1xrklOW
Official website: http://cassendrexavier.com


(c) Copyright 2014 by Cassendre Xavier. All rights reserved. Permission granted to reprint parts or all of this article, for free, non-commercial use only, provided full author credit plus official website URL are included as follows: Diary of a renaissance negresse, by Cassendre Xavier http://cassendrexavier.com.


(Never let it be said!)

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Victoria Brownworth & Lisa R. Nelson TOMORROW!

The Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series presents Victoria Brownworth & Lisa R. Nelson


Dear Friends,

Please join us this Thursday, the 13th for The Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series. 
The featured readers will be Victoria Brownworth and Lisa R. Nelson, hosted by Cassendre Xavier.

EVENT DETAILS:
Thursday, November 13th
7pm-9pm
Big Blue Marble Bookstore
551 Carpenter Lane
Philadelphia, PA 19119
Free and open to the public.
Mixed-gender open mic included!

Featured readers bios:

ABOUT VICTORIA BROWNWORTH

Victoria Brownworth is a journalist, writer and editor based in Philadelphia. She’s published nearly 30 books as both author and editor, has been anthologized in over 100 books and received numerous literary and journalism awards. A former full-time investigative reporter (currently doing only occasional investigative reporting due to progressive illness) for a series of daily and weekly newspapers and magazines. She is a regular columnist for SheWired, Curve, the Advocate and The Independent. She is a blogger for Huffington Post. She is a contributing editor for Curve magazine and Lambda Literary Review.

She was the first AIDS columnist for SPIN magazine, the first lesbian columnist in a daily newspaper and the first journalist to write about women and AIDS and pediatric AIDS in the country. She was book critic for the Baltimore Sun for 17 years until the paper filed for bankruptcy in 2008.

Brownworth writes regularly on national, international and local Philadelphia politics for a variety of newspapers and blogs. She teaches writing and film at the University of the Arts in Philadelphia and also holds master classes in writing. Most recently Brownworth won the 2013 Society of Professional Journalists award for her four-part investigative series on trans women sex workers in Philadelphia which received national attention. She also won the 2013 Keystone Award.  She has previously won both awards as well as other journalism awards, has been nominated for the Pulitzer Prize for both investigative reporting and commentary and has won the Lambda Literary Award.

Her most recent book is From Where We Sit: Black Writers Write Black Youth for which she won the 2012 Moonbeam Award for Cultural and Historical Fiction. The book was also nominated for the Coretta Scott King Award, the Lambda Literary Award and the Book of the Year Award. 

In 2010 Brownworth founded Tiny Satchel Press, an independent publisher of young adult books with a focus on books for kids of color and LGBT youth. She also co-founded the mentoring group KITH (Kids in the Hood) for middle-grade students. KITH emphasizes the importance of reading and writing.

Her novel, Ordinary Mayhem will be published at the end of 2014. Her young adult novel, Cutting will be published in fall 2014. Her collection of essays, Erasure, will be published in 2015.



ABOUT LISA R. NELSON
Lisa R. Nelson Nelson is the author of the young adult novel Drifting (2013/Tiny Satchel Press). A graduate of Temple University, Ms. Nelson is a senior staff member at a large non-profit family services agency in Philadelphia where she lives. Her short stories, “Thirteen” and “From Where They Sit” appeared in the anthology From Where We Sit: Black Writers Write Black Youth. Drifting is Nelson’s first novel. She is currently at work on a collection of essays about black history. 


We look forward to seeing you then!


In art and community,

Cassendre Xavier
Founder, Curator & Host of The Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002)
 
Facts that haven't changed since the beginning: The Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series is a nurturing environment that celebrates women in the craft of multi-genre writing. Features are from diverse backgrounds, at all levels of accomplishment as writers, and readings include a Mixed-Gender Open Mic! 
Links that change over the years: Visit us at http://WomensWritingSeries.org and view our archives athttp://bit.ly/1mZZVIl
Current address for snail mail submissions: C. Xavier/Women's Writing Series, 4530 Baltimore Ave, Philadelphia, PA 19143-3705.
The Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series is a project of Cassendre Xavier Enterprises.
Read our latest newsletter at: http://bit.ly/October2014WomensWritingSeriesNews


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Thursday, November 6, 2014

Happy "National Men Make Dinner Day"!

Today  (First  Thursday) is National Men Make Dinner Day - Must Cook. No BBQ Allowed!  :)  ---source: http://www.brownielocks.com/NOVEMBER2014.html

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Make yourself a beautiful day!

Cassendre Xavier
(aka Amethyste Rah, aka Amrita Waterfalls)
“renaissance negresse & ARTrepreneur”
(musician/writer/actress/fine artist)
Leeway Transformation Award-Winning founder & executive director of the Black Women’s Arts Festival (Est. 2003) and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002). 

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

The Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series presents Victoria Brownworth & Lisa R. Nelson

The Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series presents Victoria Brownworth & Lisa R. Nelson

Dear Friends,

Please join us this Thursday, the 13th for The Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series. 
The featured readers will be Victoria Brownworth and Lisa R. Nelson, hosted by Cassendre Xavier.

EVENT DETAILS:
Thursday, November 13th
7pm-9pm
Big Blue Marble Bookstore
551 Carpenter Lane
Philadelphia, PA 19119
Free and open to the public.
Mixed-gender open mic included!

Featured readers bios:

ABOUT VICTORIA BROWNWORTH

Victoria Brownworth is a journalist, writer and editor based in Philadelphia. She’s published nearly 30 books as both author and editor, has been anthologized in over 100 books and received numerous literary and journalism awards. A former full-time investigative reporter (currently doing only occasional investigative reporting due to progressive illness) for a series of daily and weekly newspapers and magazines. She is a regular columnist for SheWired, Curve, the Advocate and The Independent. She is a blogger for Huffington Post. She is a contributing editor for Curve magazine and Lambda Literary Review.

She was the first AIDS columnist for SPIN magazine, the first lesbian columnist in a daily newspaper and the first journalist to write about women and AIDS and pediatric AIDS in the country. She was book critic for the Baltimore Sun for 17 years until the paper filed for bankruptcy in 2008.

Brownworth writes regularly on national, international and local Philadelphia politics for a variety of newspapers and blogs. She teaches writing and film at the University of the Arts in Philadelphia and also holds master classes in writing. Most recently Brownworth won the 2013 Society of Professional Journalists award for her four-part investigative series on trans women sex workers in Philadelphia which received national attention. She also won the 2013 Keystone Award.  She has previously won both awards as well as other journalism awards, has been nominated for the Pulitzer Prize for both investigative reporting and commentary and has won the Lambda Literary Award.

Her most recent book is From Where We Sit: Black Writers Write Black Youth for which she won the 2012 Moonbeam Award for Cultural and Historical Fiction. The book was also nominated for the Coretta Scott King Award, the Lambda Literary Award and the Book of the Year Award. 

In 2010 Brownworth founded Tiny Satchel Press, an independent publisher of young adult books with a focus on books for kids of color and LGBT youth. She also co-founded the mentoring group KITH (Kids in the Hood) for middle-grade students. KITH emphasizes the importance of reading and writing.

Her novel, Ordinary Mayhem will be published at the end of 2014. Her young adult novel, Cutting will be published in fall 2014. Her collection of essays, Erasure, will be published in 2015.



ABOUT LISA R. NELSON
Lisa R. Nelson Nelson is the author of the young adult novel Drifting (2013/Tiny Satchel Press). A graduate of Temple University, Ms. Nelson is a senior staff member at a large non-profit family services agency in Philadelphia where she lives. Her short stories, “Thirteen” and “From Where They Sit” appeared in the anthology From Where We Sit: Black Writers Write Black Youth. Drifting is Nelson’s first novel. She is currently at work on a collection of essays about black history. 


We look forward to seeing you then!


In art and community,

Cassendre Xavier
Founder, Curator & Host of The Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002)
 
Facts that haven't changed since the beginning: The Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series is a nurturing environment that celebrates women in the craft of multi-genre writing. Features are from diverse backgrounds, at all levels of accomplishment as writers, and readings include a Mixed-Gender Open Mic! 
Links that change over the years: Visit us at http://WomensWritingSeries.org and view our archives athttp://bit.ly/1mZZVIl
Current address for snail mail submissions: C. Xavier/Women's Writing Series, 4530 Baltimore Ave, Philadelphia, PA 19143-3705.
The Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series is a project of Cassendre Xavier Enterprises.
Read our latest newsletter at: http://bit.ly/October2014WomensWritingSeriesNews

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Green Smoothies at my raw food class on Nov. 8!

Dear Friends,

New development! I'll be making green smoothie at the class yonder:


Next class: Raw Foods for the Rest of Us: How to Eat Better Without Being Perfect. Sat 11/8/14 – 11:00am-1:30pm– A www.MtAiryLearningTree.org class. Location: Unitarian Society of Germantown, 6511 Lincoln Drive, Philadelphia, PA 19119. Read article including two upcoming classes and class info and links at http://bit.ly/1nDs7nw.
[Pictured: Myself holding copy of my "Expanding Your Capacity for Joy: A Raw Vegan Comfort Book, Sourcebook & Journal" http://cxbooks.eventbrite.com and with Arnold N. Kauffman, owner of Arnold's Way Raw Vegetarian Cafe & Education Center in Lansdale, PA, when I was trained there and lived in Arnold's raw-friendly and raw-supportive house, Eden. http://arnoldsway.com]

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-- 
Make yourself a beautiful day!

Cassendre Xavier
(aka Amethyste Rah, aka Amrita Waterfalls)
“renaissance negresse & ARTrepreneur”
(musician/writer/actress/fine artist)
Leeway Transformation Award-Winning founder & executive director of the Black Women’s Arts Festival (Est. 2003) and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002). 

Monday, October 27, 2014

Fennel and Mercury Retrograde




When the planet Mercury is in retrograde, communications are at their all-time most chaotic. You will find yourself often misunderstood and having more than the usual amount of conflicts. It is the worst time to sign contracts, start or finish projects, problem solve, or travel. If you find yourself in one of these situations, take extra care to communicate as clearly as possible, and do not rush. If possible, put any of the aforementioned activities on hold until Mercury goes direct again.
 The plant fennel is ruled by Mercury. 
 Poet CAConrad told me this years ago when I was telling him how much I enjoyed Tom's of Maine fennel toothpaste. He said, "You're basically charging your mouth with fennel" when Merury is in retrograde.
 I recently purchased some fresh fennel and was excited to sautee it as I'd often seen it look very delicious roasted on television cooking shows. I was going to do that today, then remembered that another writer friend, Jhett Bond, told me a couple of days ago that Mercury is in retrograde. So the fennel will have to wait. But I did search recipes online and was pleased to find that fennel can be sauteed with just about anything - I saw asparagus, broccoli, red cabbage, beef, fish, and shrimp. No matter what you like to sautee, chances are fennel can go with it. If you try it, let me know how it goes!
 

2014 Retrograde Dates

In 2014, Mercury will be retrograde during:

  • February 6–28
  • June 7–July 2
  • October 4–25


I searched for a while for the dates in 2015. Nnot so easy, apparently :-)
-- 
Make yourself a beautiful day!

Cassendre Xavier
(aka Amethyste Rah, aka Amrita Waterfalls)
“renaissance negresse & ARTrepreneur”
(musician/writer/actress/fine artist)
Leeway Transformation Award-Winning founder & executive director of the Black Women’s Arts Festival (Est. 2003) and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002). 


(c) Copyright 2014 by Cassendre Xavier. All rights reserved. Permission granted to reprint with permission, provided full author credit and link are included: http://cassEndrExavier.com. (Never let it be said!)