Saturday, June 29, 2013

Because I Care About Your Colon

Dear Friends,

I hope this messsage finds you regular! And by that I mean intestinalment :-)
I'm sharing this YouTube video with you (it isn't me) http://m.youtube.com/watch?sns=tw&v=N39GIWquhWg&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DN39GIWquhWg%26sns%3Dtw#watch_actions. Because you know what, I care about your colon.
And also because now that I'm on one mood stabilizer for my bipolar and two medicines for my high blood pressure, this raw vegan's intestines have turned to cement! Moi is not accustomated (aka "accustomized")!! So I searched "natural laxatives" and was surprised to learn about abdominal massage. Now I recall reading about 20 years ago that paralized people need that every day, but I had never heard about it for everyone when needed.
I'm sharing this info, because just today my friend Stacey and I were talking about the importance of sharing your story because it helps someone somewhere. I added that for everything someone is going through, there are 15 people in their neighborhood going through the same thing.
It took me a long time to muster up the gumption to explore and talk about raw veganism in my work. Just like I didn't believe I could play guitar until I saw Tracy Chapman doing it, I didn't believe I could be a raw vegan spokespersun because I only saw skinny young white guys doing it. After I committed to being a raw vegan "leader", no matter where I was on my eating disordered, extra-luscious brownskin girl journey, I attracted others just like me asking how they could do it, too.
So, because I'm taking meds that are messing with my innards, I'm figurin' some of you are, too. And that if you aren't, you're at least no stranger to this condition, and might appreciate knowing another trick to approach relieving it.
I love doing this joyful work and I hope I've made you smile today :-)

Cassendre Xavier
*Imperfectly practicing raw vegan since 2005.
*Former raw chef at Arnold's Way Raw Vegetarian Cafe & Education Center www.arnoldsway.com
*Co-founder of REAL Raw support group at Essene Market & Cafe www.essenemarket.com
*Author of Expanding Your Capacity for Joy: A Raw Vegan Comfort Book, Sourcebook & Journal (2009/ARtivist Publications) www.artivistpublications.homestead.com

Working With Chango Energy

Dear Friends,

Here's something I experienced this morning and wanted to share with you. I hope it opens your eyes, invites you to release some of your fear, and inspires your inner fire, thunder, and lightning!

In meditation this morning I clearly received the words "Chango, generosity", understanding Chango (Shango) to be one of the many aspects of the Divine (representing fire, thunder, and lightning) through which I could express myself and learn. I did some research online, as Yoruba, Santeria, Vodoun and the like are least familiar to me, and this is the page I liked best: Spiritual Chango, from an artist's website called Spiritual Healing Artwork 4U at http://www.spiritual-healing-artwork-4u.com/spiritual-chango.html. I liked and related to the artist's saying how s/he had to go inward to gain answers about Chango. I found the same to be true for me and my experience of learning more about this deity. And I especially appreciated the artist's description of how Chango guided the painting of his portrait, and left a surprise. (Typical Chango!)

Messages I received in meditation about working with Chango:

*Chango has called you; Call upon Chango; Know Chango is, has always been, and always will be present and within the brown people. In a word, Chango is: Here.
*Access you own inner fire and thunder
*Let you talent shine and shock like lightning
*Be very generous without strings attached
*Be aware there are consequences to laziness, fear, and procrastinaion and be prepared to pay their costs
*For women and/or more feminine people: Get more masculine energy, fire and thunder around you to balance your life, your femininity and empower you as a woman/feminine persun. For men and/or more masculine people: Activate, increase and/or express your inner masculine energy, fire, and thunder. Be around more men/masculine people who exemplify this energy. Also, be around feminine energy to balance your masculinity and make you more powerful and effective.
[Same-gender-loving folks still need to express and be around strong feminine and masculine energy for balance. Yin-yang :-) <3]
*Make your spiritual askings more of an energy exchange. You may not have an altar or put food and other offerings out, but you can spend more time in prayer, meditation, plus activities that honor the Divine within by exercising your physical body, like playing sports, engaging in conscious lovemaking, practicing yoga, etc.
And for those of you who, like me, are still working through fear-based brainwashing of Christianity, here is a portion of this aforementioned link's content you may find helpful: "Enslaved Africans introduced these religious beliefs to the New World. Although the slaves were forced to convert to Christianity, they secretly continued to worship and practice their religion." Make of that, and of this post I've just written, what you will in the spirit of love, or in the spirit of fear, which is the opposite of love. It is always your choice.
Enjoy! :-) <3



Make yourself a beautiful day!
 
Cassendre Xavier (aka Amethyste Rah, aka Amrita Waterfalls)
"renaissance negresse & ARTrepreneur"
(musician/writer/actress/fine artist)
Award-Winning Founder & Director of Philadelphia's 8th Annual Black Women's Arts Festival http://BWAFphilly.homestead.com, and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series http://WomensWritingSeries.homestead.com
Website: http://www.cassEndrExavier.com

Friday, June 28, 2013

You Can Talk To God Because God's Large Like That

Dear Friends,

I wanted to share some ideas with you this morning. I hope they help you have a brighter and more empowered, lighter day!

Spiritually, you don't need anything you haven't done or been doing.
If you havent wanted or been drawn to anything long enough to try and make a practice of it, it's not for you. This rings true especially when one considers the totally useless guilt, or "TUG" factor of regret. If regret is also TUG and you don't beat yourself up with it, then there's no use in thinking you've missed anything spiritually. You were and are probably getting your spiritual needs and communication with Source elsewhere, such as through your art, relationship(s), being kind to others, and/or just getting by or through or dealing with this life, which is an intense experience. Just living is spiritual practice itself. You don't have to worry about "consciousness" and "enlightenment". You do enough when you open your eyes in the morning and face another day on this plane of existence. If you never open a religious book, you've already studied and practiced. This IS spiritual "school"!
And you are all ways connected to Source.  You don't ever need to "do" anything to be connected to Source anymore than you "need" to become someone who needs air to survive. Source is, and you are, and they cannot not coexist. Notice I said "they", not "both", because you are the same universe that Source is. This is not a case of one plus one equals two, although it can be said that you and Source are one. Don't try to figure those mathematics out, because you'd hurt yourself and we're not hurting ourselves anymore, remember? :-)
I've been talking to God lately. God has been used by mix-intentioned humyns in ways that have deeply hurt me. So have Jesus Christ and the Holy Bible been used in similar and deeply hurtful ways.
But I decided years ago I was going to use EVERYTHING. Everything that draws my eye as a potential tool in my spiritual arsenal or cubbyhole of toys, dolls and teddy bears. Why ought others have all the fun? Now, I'm not interested in joining the Christian Lesbian Church, but I'm down with the morning and evening talk to God and the angels.
I hadn't talked to God much in many years, and even now I'm scared as I do it. But then I tell myself as I'm praying, or having a conversation, look, I'm releasing all fear in my life. No fear is acceptable. None. That means this fear of God business has got to go as well. And doesn't it make sense that I lose the fear of the highest form and source of love and power?
I know from my lifelong studies that all of who I am is okay. I know now I have nothing to fear, no judgment, on any plane nor in any form, humyn or Divine, which also, being one, have elements of one another. I no longer fear death, for I no longer believe in hell, but that when we die, no matter who we are and no matter what we have done, we are enveloped in a space of unimagined blissful belonging and comfort. We return to our origins of love. That is home, truly, and that is who and what God is, as well as an old white guy and the Goddess, and Jesus and Ganesh and Oshun and all the other others because We Are All One.
You can talk to God and ask God and the angels to help remove your fears of God and restore your faith. You can talk to God and Jesus as friends you're hanging out with. You can watch the game with God and God's buddies.
You can also empower and uplift yourself by starting and ending your day with a conversation with God. You can include gratitude. Admit you don't know what you're doing. The next time you do it, it'll be easier. You'll get better because you will have been given strength and insights into how to more comfortably and easily talk to God.
Don't let fear keep you from "biblical stuff". If you're curious or in need of guidance and comfort, go for it. Find translations and designed versions of the Bible you like, and only enjoy and reflect on what resonates with you, feels good, and is coming from a place of love. Ignore anything that does otherwise.
And, remember, the angels are there to do God's work in a non-denomenational way. One of their greatest skills is removing fears and barriers to God. Their greatest joy is to help us so ask them to be with you as you take on and enjoy your journey as a spiritually eclectic, empowered, and free humyn, being!

Much love and good will to you n' yer'n,

Cassendre


AUTHOR BIO:
A lifelong student of spirituality, Cassendre Xavier (aka Amethyste Rah, aka Amrita Waterfalls) has been ministering through the creative had healing arts, spirituality, and sexuality since 1991, received a $15,000 Leeway Transformation for her "work in art and social change" in December 2005, and  was ordained as an interfaith minister of the Universal Life Church of Modesto, California on September 19, 2010.
Cassendre has new music downloads and ebooks coming out soon, which you can learn more about at her official website http://cassEndrExavier.com.

Thursday, June 27, 2013

renaissance negresse Household Hint #57 - Schmutzy Library Book Cleanery (aka "Cleanage")

renaissance negresse Household Hint #57 - Schmutzy Library Book Cleanery (aka "Cleanage")


Ever notice library books (remember them? :-) ) are usually a little, um, greasy feeling? Well, no wonder. You don't know where those things have been! Most likely and often the kitchen tables of people eating as we, I mean, they read, but other conditions you probably don't even want to think about. Don't think about it, now, sweetie. Let it go. Go to your happy place! Go to your happy place!
*Rubbing alcohol, that's the solution, literally. Cotton balls soaked in rubbing alcohol, and rubbed on your library books will make them not necessarily squeaky clean, but much nicer for you and you little one(s), Inner Child(ren) included, to handle.
Enjoy, and don't say I never learned ya nothin'!
(*Hand sanitizer if you don't keep medical supplies around. Vodka if that plus you're a total lush or Sex in the City girl. Jack Daniels if you're my ex boyfriend Brubaker. But that's for another book ;-) )

Make yourself a beautiful day!
 
Cassendre Xavier (aka Amethyste Rah, aka Amrita Waterfalls)
"renaissance negresse & ARTrepreneur"
(musician/writer/actress/fine artist)
Award-Winning Founder & Director of Philadelphia's 8th Annual Black Women's Arts Festival http://BWAFphilly.homestead.com, and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series http://WomensWritingSeries.homestead.com
Website: http://www.cassEndrExavier.com

Fatphobia's Not Over Till The Fat Lady Kisses

Hello, Friends,

Just a wee rant for ya :-)

Okay, I get it, Melissa McCarthy's hilarious and the stars aligned for her to get her talent seen so now she's in a million movies every other month. But she's still getting cast as the "funny fat girl", and you know what? She's kinda frikkin' gorgeous. Didn't Hollywood notice THAT? Are you totally blind to her bright eyes, those adorable dimples, and that rockin' pretty smile? Or how frikkin' LIMBER she is? Can you not see how totally sexy it is for a woman with such attractive plumpocity in all the right places to be able to dance and throw down with the best of them?
 I'm not impressed, Hollywood. She already deserved those roles, among many others, and so do her equally lusciously-built sistren.
 Cast her in the role:
1) As ingenue
2) With the standard-type leading man
3) Where her weight is not only NOT an issue, but it never comes up at ALL.

Then, we'll talk. Then, I'll know we're making strides towards erasing fatphobia. Then I'll know you're more interested in telling great stories that inspire and entertain, rather than continue to sell body hatred so that we'll all buy your "slimming" and "beautifying" products. Showing that everyone is beautiful in their own way, and allowing all people, especially fat girls and boys and girls who like fat girls, to feel free to express their attraction without fear of repercussion and shaming. Then, I'll be impressed. (And buy your movie tickets.)

Make yourself a beautiful day!
 
Cassendre Xavier (aka Amethyste Rah, aka Amrita Waterfalls)
"renaissance negresse & ARTrepreneur"
(musician/writer/actress/fine artist)
Award-Winning Founder & Director of Philadelphia's 8th Annual Black Women's Arts Festival http://BWAFphilly.homestead.com, and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series http://WomensWritingSeries.homestead.com
Website: http://www.cassEndrExavier.com

Making A Big Decision? Always Choose Love Over Fear

Dear Friends,

I wanted to share a recent experience with you.
Hope it helps!

I had a big decision to make. I asked for three days because spiritually that's always been very powerful for me: big things happen in three days. I wanted to take the time to do the 5 Most Important Words in making decisions: "Let me think about it."
I looked at the facts presented and saw I had a lot of fear and desperation around going with what appeared to be the best thing to do. I paid attention to that, and realized I didn't want to make a decision based on fear and desperation, no matter what.
So, even though I didn't know what it would look like, I made the immediate decision, "No" simply because it was the only way to not make the fearful, desperate decision.
Once that happened, other thoughts popped into my head, blooming like brightly colored, fragrant flowers. There were all these options I hadn't considered before, and even some possible scenarios I had considered frightening, and been the reason for the desperation had been transformed. So, because I chose from love, pleasant possibilities presented themselves, and unpleasant possibilities became pleasant!
Additionally, I am happier and more peaceful now than I have been in months. I feel a major problem has been solved, and I am so relieved and grateful!
God and the angels will always show us better ways, if we only trust them, and choose only love, every time.


Make yourself a beautiful day!
 
Cassendre Xavier (aka Amethyste Rah, aka Amrita Waterfalls)
"renaissance negresse & ARTrepreneur"
(musician/writer/actress/fine artist)
Award-Winning Founder & Director of Philadelphia's 8th Annual Black Women's Arts Festival http://BWAFphilly.homestead.com, and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series http://WomensWritingSeries.homestead.com
Website: http://www.cassEndrExavier.com

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Come See Me Today In West Philly :-)

Howdy, y'all! If you're in or near West Philly and feel like visiting the renaissance negresse and/or get a discounted, personalized autographed CX CD, I'm staffing at Bindlestiff Books, 4530 Baltimore Avenue, Philadelphia, PA 19143 today until 7pm!
~CDs I have that are way cheaper in person: http://www.cdbaby.com/all/cassendre
~The book I love hand-selling at Bindlestiff and that we have only ONE copy left of: Hello Cruel World: 101 Alternatives to Suicide for Teens, Freaks and Other Outlaws by Kate Bornstein http://www.amazon.com/Hello-Cruel-World-Alternatives-Suicide/dp/1583227202
http://bindlestiffbooks.wordpress.com

~You can dine just down the road at Atiya Ola's Spirit First Foods (Raw and vegan)!

~Song gift and trivia for you: Pulse, by Ani DiFranco. One time I was listening to it and one of my closest friends walked into the room and said, "Is that you?" :-) Enjoy it over and over and over again, as I do: http://youtu.be/1SHoqjckjoE


Make yourself a beautiful day!
 
Cassendre Xavier (aka Amethyste Rah, aka Amrita Waterfalls)
"renaissance negresse & ARTrepreneur"
(musician/writer/actress/fine artist)
Award-Winning Founder & Director of Philadelphia's 8th Annual Black Women's Arts Festival http://BWAFphilly.homestead.com, and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series http://WomensWritingSeries.homestead.com
Website: http://www.cassEndrExavier.com

Happiness Is An Inside Decision, Not An Outside Condition

We are often seeking help, ways and reasons to be happy. But the only trick to be happy is to decide to feel content with what you have and what surrounds you right now. To practice gratitude and appreciation for everything all the time that you remember to.  
And happiness isn't always that commonly assumed gleeful feeling. It can simply be an inner glow of gratitude that makes you smile through the tears as you wade through a particular challenge. As you endure a labor pain or a growing pain. As you leave a job or home or seek a job or home, as you reassess your most intimate relationships or muddle through a crushing depression, you can smile through it all, even, or especially the tears, and know you are held by God with such immense, immeasurable love.
That's why I say happiness is an inside decision, not an outside condition. Because anyone can be happy (or unhappy) at any time for any reason they choose.

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Sleeping Well, Waking Well, and Kelli Dunham's Freak of Nurture

It's so important to go to sleep well and wake up well. Both significantly affect what happens in between!
Last night I went to sleep earlier than usual, having decided to stop looking at or thinking about anything stressful or even "too busy-making" for well over an hour before I went to sleep. I took the battery out of my phone to let it cool and rest overnight, and sought comfort and relaxation in spiritual reading. What you do just before you go to sleep stays in your mind and runs around in there all night. That's great for studying, memorizing acting lines or positive affirmations, but not great if you're bothered about something, like say for example, you and your close friend's argument on how dogs ought to be raised and handled by humyns, for example. (Hypothetically speaking :-) Refer to my immediately previous blog post "Kindly Remove The Foxhound From Your Teat")
So I got calm and happy, did my smiling mirror affirmations with gratitude, read good stuff, then went to sleep, knowing my phone would enjoy the rest with me :-) )
I awoke peacefully and pleasantly with the sun at 5:07, feeling good about and expecting an excellent, joyfully productive day. I'm expecting pleasant surprises and am grateful for the ones I received yesterday!
Now I'm reading Freak of Nurture www.FreakOfNurture.org, a wonderful new collection of essays by my fabulous ex-girlfriend www.KelliDunham.com. A lesbian stand-up comic registered nurse ex-nun (of course), "Freak" is her 5th and most personal book. I really dig it!
Right now I'm reading her touching essays on her work treating patients in my parents' native Haiti just days after the 2010 earthquake. (I spent part of my childhood in Haiti, and at least three members of our family are known to have died in the quake.) O the Strength of My People! But this isn't meant to bring you down! The book also has tons of comedy and Kelli's stories from the road!

--
Make yourself a beautiful day!
 
Cassendre Xavier (aka Amethyste Rah, aka Amrita Waterfalls)
"renaissance negresse & ARTrepreneur"
(musician/writer/actress/fine artist)
Founder & Director of Philadelphia's 8th Annual Black Women's Arts Festival, and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series

Monday, June 24, 2013

Kindly Remove The Foxhound From Your Teat

(To my friend who has a teeny tiny little pooch which she treats like a baby and who am I to judge: close your eyes :-) ) Everyone else: Look, you're already castrating your dog. Right? He has NO BALLS. NO balls. (And if it's a female she has no ovaries, which are internal "balls".) But can you let them have their dignity? I just saw a grown ass man carrying a grown ass big ol' dog in his arms like a baby. You do know it's NOT a baby, right? Do you know that it's not a toy, a teddy bear, or a humyn infant? That it isn't there to be used for emotional comfort? It is a d-o-g, and as such it has n-e-e-d-s for healthy development according to its natural d-o-g ways. You ever see dogs carrying their young around? Uh, no. I can't be the only around here who gets this (and digs Cesar Millan)! C'mon, people! Dogs are not humyn infants! And then you complain when they develop all kinds of neuroses, behavioral, even health issues. Lead the pack! Lead the pack! That is the best way to love and emotionally support a dog. And then, the healthy, well-balanced, natural dog will give its love and emotional support to you! --Signed, *Calm-Assertive Lifelong Dog Lover & Amateur **Trainer Really Tired of Seeing Dogs Treated Like Babies
-------------------------

*Training term of www.CesarMillan.com
**Ever since I read Barbara Woodhouse's "No Bad Dogs" in my childhood and proceeded to use it on several of our family dogs :-)

--
Make yourself a beautiful day!
 
Cassendre Xavier (aka Amethyste Rah, aka Amrita Waterfalls)
"renaissance negresse & ARTrepreneur"
(musician/writer/actress/fine artist)
Founder & Director of Philadelphia's 8th Annual Black Women's Arts Festival, and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series

Sunday, June 23, 2013

Please Don't Fear My Grief

I feel like I need to explain to my audience what my crying over my dead lover is about the way we all need to explain to our lovers what we like and how we are sexually.
First of all, I am not sad. Tom's spirit is free, still with me, and no longer suffering his various ailments. Yes, I often miss him, but missing him doesn't make me cry. When I cry, it is a choice to do so, because I want to release toxins and feel closer to Tom. I also want to have the full humyn experience of grieving, and I obey my body's urge to purge this way. 85% of the tears are from gratitude and remembering all the ways Tom loved, assisted, and complimented me. 15% of the tears are from pre-corrected thoughts of regret or guilt.
So, please don't feel bad when I say I'm crying. Crying about Tom makes me happy, healthy, and younger. I am so lucky to have so much to cry about!

--
Make yourself a beautiful day!
 
Cassendre Xavier (aka Amethyste Rah, aka Amrita Waterfalls)
"renaissance negresse & ARTrepreneur"
(musician/writer/actress/fine artist)
Founder & Director of Philadelphia's 8th Annual Black Women's Arts Festival, and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series

Those Escort Guys Are Fun!

Hey, now, people, wait just a goshdarned tootin' minnit, that's not what I mean! I'm talking about those fluorescent yellow-wearing, bicycle riding "Security Ambassadors" employed by the University of Pennsylvania, Drexel University, or University City District to safely accompany individuals to their destination.
 I've availed myself of their services twice when lost, and once when scared, the latter of which is quite rare:
I'd been at a gathering of friends when the conversation turned to incidences of assault and who had been the unfortunate victims of said thereindom. There was talk of the absolute necessity of carrying pepper spray at all times. I disagreed and don't own pepper spray. I told of how shortly after Esther & the late Jerry Hicks www.abraham-hicks.com (original Law of Attraction teachers) received from friends a kit to repair one's car windshield, they thought, "When are we ever going to need this??" and promptly created a reason to do so. Yes, they had a so-called "accident", breaking their windshield in order to use their friend's gift.
I told my friends how I don't keep adhesive bandages around because I don't expect to cut myself. If it does happen, it's so minor, I just pour a little salt water on (or soak) it, expose it to air, and the next day it's probably gone or at least well on its way. I'm not saying I've never used or needed an adhesive bandage, but it happens considerably less often now than when I lived in a home which contained and prominently displayed them. I remember living with a roommate who kept a box of them in the bathroom mirror/cabinet. Every time I saw it (several times a day) I thought about them and decided to ask if I could move them to the bottom, less used/viewed cabinet. Consent given, I felt relieved, because I knew I was close to creating a situation in which I'd need one of those things.
I also talked about how I'd worked at a gay adult store in the gayborhood once for exactly two days. It was a night shift, and upon leaving I was presented with my own little cannister of mace. Why? Because, apparently the three block walk to my bus, through the crossdressing/transgender streetwalkers and what they might attract would put my life in danger. Whereas before I would feel safe but hypervigilant, expecting to arrive at my destination safely, now I felt afraid to walk home.
When I walked out after my shift the first night, I was aware I was looking for opportunities to use the mace I held in my hand. I wasn't avoiding danger like before, I was attracting it! I realized I didn't want to work at a place that required mace to get home so the next day I came in and quit.
So, late last night after all this talk of pepper spray and mace, I still had feelings of danger going on so I went to a security-deud-with-bike I saw on the way, and he directed me to a kiosk where I called in another who could take me where I was going, which apparently was outside of first guy's *jurisdiction (*I only know that word 'cause I watch too many crime shows :-) ). I did, and hung up at 12:21am. At 12:23am, the ambassador showed up and walked me home. About three blocks in, he was walking close to me and I felt he might be comfortable enough for me to start talking to him. About two blocks later I noticed he was a total hottie! (Usually at first they maintain distance and I do little eye contact until the ambassador feels I'm a safe, real passenger.) We had a nice conversation. We passed Atiya Ola's Spirit First Foods and I asked if he knew about raw vegan foods. Surprisingly, he did not. (More on our conversation coming up!) When he dropped me off at my door I realized that even though he wasn't a date or romantic interest, I'd made full use of the opportunity to exercise the appreciation skills that attract actual date and romance activity going forward! (He was really cute! ;-) ) We talked about what I'd been told of his job by another one of his kind, and he corrected some of those misconceptions. I told him of my experiences working as a bike messenger and canvasser. I asked him what he wants to do next, workwise, and he said law enforcement. He's already begun the applicatory process of employment in state policery. I wished him the best. Good times!
Oh, and by the way, anyone can call for the services of a security ambassador: you do not have to be a student. Get home safe, whatever your style, and...


Never let it be said! :-)

--
Make yourself a beautiful day!
 
Cassendre Xavier (aka Amethyste Rah, aka Amrita Waterfalls)
"renaissance negresse & ARTrepreneur"
(musician/writer/actress/fine artist)
Founder & Director of Philadelphia's 8th Annual Black Women's Arts Festival, and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Me! Me! Me!” CX Museletter “Universe, Pleasantly Surprise Me!” ediccione

"Me! Me! Me!" A Cassendre Xavier Museletter

The "Universe, Pleasantly Surprise Me!" ediccione, if you will. (As it were.)


TABLE OF CONTENTS


A) GREETING

1) DR. G LOVE (GERYLL ROBINSON) IN NEW YORK!

2) LOVE NEVER DIES

3) DREAMLOGUE & INTERPRETACCIONE

4) UNIVERSE, PLEASANTLY SURPRISE ME!

5) RECENT QUOTES

6) FAREWELL BLESSING

Z) TIP JAR/DONATIONS TO THE "RENAISSANCE NEGRESSE BIPOLAR PRE-DISABILITY EMERGENCY COSTS OF LIVING FUND"



CONTENTS OF TABLE


A) GREETING


Hi, there. I'm rushing. Hope you're enjoying this beautiful day you're alive :-)


1) DR. G LOVE (GERYLL ROBINSON) IN NEW YORK!

Here's a note I just got yesterday from my Reiki teacher, Geryll Robinson aka Dr. G. Love. She asked that we share it, so here it is!


Greetings beLoved,

After a long and challenging initiatory journey of dismemberment and upload, I am finally returning victorious from the swamp tour of the Universal Psyche and am so glad to be out in human company again! I have missed you and hope you are evolving beautifully on this side of the world reversal.

I will be in NYC June 24-June30th giving readings, healings, and Aboriginal Elemental Reiki attunements at the Corridor Gallery in Brooklyn. I'm taking evening appointments for individuals and Sunday the 30th is scheduled for an Aboriginal Reiki Attunement open to practitioners of ALL levels (including non-reiki attuned peoples)


http://www.fivedirectionswellness.com/reiki-attunement

Please share this email and help spread the word. I have a lot to share that can be of great help right now.

Much light and appreciation,

Dr. G. Love

    2) LOVE NEVER DIES

Why does my hand smell like tobacco smoke? I don't smoke! Oh, it's my Tom saying he's right here, very close to me, loving and protecting me (I'm so lucky that after his March 2013 death, I found an email he'd sent me which said he was always with me, even when we were apart. How reassuring that is now, especially since I did feel that from him in life, which wasn't convenient during our break-ups, but that's another story! Yeah, Tom's still with me. Hence, the tabacky :-) )
People sometimes smell the perfume of their deceased loved ones, but tobacco is common, too. It certainly is in Tom's case, who much more often wore "eau de cigar" than the cologne I adored but was treated to rarely!
For more, check out my Wisdom Magazine online edition article "Love Never Dies: Afterlife Communication with Deceased Loved Ones" at
http://wisdom-magazine.com/Article.aspx/3115

    3) DREAMLOGUE & INTERPRETACCIONE I just dreamt I'm caring for my favorite baby, who's all laughin' while I adjust a new, not-so-well fitting diaper. I'm watching a video of Eric Clapton, who's playing a blues song lapstyle, then needs to hand his guitar to a tech (or whatever they're called) to fix a string that was already broken and he didn't break during the lapstyle playing of said blues song. Interpretaccione: The dream was part upgrade and downgrade. Upgrade because I actually really do miss this baby, hadn't seen baby in a couple of weeks, and will actually babysit today! So, baby on the brain, then dream of said baby. The dream also illustrates how pleased I've been lately with the quality and fit of baby's latest brand and size of diaper. (No, I don't remember the brand, sorry, parents, caregivers, and guardians!)
    Broken string hand-over represents my current major problems, brought about my pre-existing conditions of Bipolar and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorders, and my "turning them over": Seeing, surrendering, seeking help and treatment.
    The downgrade part is that for some strange reason I'm neither hanging out or making out with Clapton! Usually when I'm dreaming of a musical or theatrical celebrity or icon of that male-type caliber, that's what's happening. Case in point, Vince Vaughn, who's on regular rotation in my dreams these days, and who DID participate in a recent upgrade from hang out to make out. Thanks for asking! :-)
    [For more "Dreamlogue", visit http://groups.yahoo.com/group/cassendrexavier/msearch?query=dreamlogue&submit=Search&charset=ISO-8859-1]

4) UNIVERSE, PLEASANTLY SURPRISE ME! One of the best ways to attract good things when you're too bummed to actually expect them is to say to the Universe (or God, etc.), "Peasantly surprise me!" Works every time! Why? Because it smashes the Law of Attraction idea you can only receive good things when you're 1) Feeling good 2) Expecting good 3) Or both! You don't have to be any special type of way to be pleasantly surprised - just alive and breathing, issues, negativity, fears, and all. I, who deal with all those factors, can attest to the effectiveness of this exercise, as I am often "pleasantly surprised" by the Universe, and often when I least expect or feel like I deserve it. I know you can, too. Try it today!

5) RECENT QUOTES If everyone is always doing the best we can, then there's no reason to beat ourselves or anyone else up when we make mistakes. Loving correction and guidance, not punishment.

Everything that happens in our lives is either an act of love, or opportunity to given or receive love, and is for our higher good. When we can see all of life this way - through the eyes of love, we can more easily face difficult moments with courage, grace, and gratitude.

Believe for the best possible scenario, and release the outcome of what that needs to look like.

Fearful thoughts are the enemy testing your faith. Don't agree with them. All is well, and everything's going to be okay.

Procrastination blocks or delays blessings from God to you, and from you to the world; don't let it win.

  1. FAREWELL BLESSING a) May you do what you can in the time you have it. b) May your self-regard and care for others increase daily. c) May your inner peace be a top priority. d) May your courage astound yourself and others regularly. e) May you eat plenty of fresh fruit so your innards will celebrate and I can stop worrying about your colon. 'Cause I do, you know. I worry about your colon. :-) f) May all your fondest heart's desires come true, surpassing all your expectations. g) These things, or something better, and may it be for the good of all.

Z) TIP JAR/DONATIONS TO THE "RENAISSANCE NEGRESSE BIPOLAR PRE-DISABILITY EMERGENCY COSTS OF LIVING FUND" Your donation of any size to the "renaissance negresse bipolar pre-disability emergency cost of living fund" will be gleefully accepted at www.paypal.com ("Send Money" to cxmusic(at)gmail.com.) Thanks so much! :-)



--
Make yourself a beautiful day!
 
Cassendre Xavier (aka Amethyste Rah, aka Amrita Waterfalls)
"renaissance negresse & ARTrepreneur"
(musician/writer/actress/fine artist)
Founder & Director of Philadelphia's 8th Annual Black Women's Arts Festival, and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Me! Me! Me! CX Museletter "Undeniably Bipolar" ediccione

Me! Me! Me! A Cassendre Xavier Museletter

The "Undeniably Bipolar" ediccione, if you will. (As it were.)

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

TABLE OF CONTENTS

A) GREETING
1) MY BIPOLAR COMING OUT, MENTAL ILLNESS ROLE MODELS, UPCOMING ONLINE PRE-DISABILITY FUNDRAISER & HOW YOU CAN PAYPAL DONATE NOW (OR REAL SOONISHLIKE :-)
2) A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A NEWLY MEDICATED DEPRESSED BIPOLAR CHYK GRIEVING THE RECENT DEATH OF HER MAN
3) FAREWELL BLESSING
Z) REMINDER TO PLEASE PAYPAL DONATE TO THE RENAISSANCE NEGRESSE :-)

CONTENTS OF TABLE

A) GREETING
Dear Friends,

Thank you for being here :-) It's always good to connectify (aka "connectiate") with you via the word of the written sort.
Wow. Where to begin. I have been going through a LOT during the last few weeks. I haven't written here much, but if you have a Facebook account, you can see where I've expressorized (aka "expressorated") myself abundantment http://facebook.com/cassendrexavier. Somewhat less so upon the Twitter http://twitter.com/cassendrexavier.
As usual, I've blogged where I could unload without clogging anyone's inbox http://cassendrexavier.blogspot.com.
And after a respectable amount of time has gone by, I come here, to you all, my trusty official email list.

1) MY BIPOLAR COMING OUT, MENTAL ILLNESS ROLE MODELS, UPCOMING ONLINE PRE-DISABILITY FUNDRAISER & HOW YOU CAN PAYPAL DONATE NOW (OR REAL SOONISHLIKE :-)

"If you bring forth that which is within you, that which is within you will save you. If you do not bring forth that which is within you, that which is within you will destroy you." --Jesus Christ, Gospel of Thomas, The Gnostic Gospels

I have taken this wonderful advice, which rings do deeply true to me, in regards to my sexuality, some of which you'll know more about when my works in progress "Erotica" and "Affirmations for Survivors: Sexuality" are released.
And I've used it in also reclaiming my spirituality, which is visible in my Wisdom Magazine articles http://tinyurl.com/CXWisdom and "Affirmations for Survivors: Spirituality" spoken word guided meditation recording (www.cassendrexavier.com).
 
But there's something I've kept hidden from even myself for years, out of shame and denial of the social stigma attached to mental differences in this society: I'm bipolar.
Some of you know this, because you're either close enough to me or you've been following my career since my 1993 diagnosis.
I'm sharing this because it's time for me to come out of denial about it. Because of my denial, I was untreated for years, and my life has shown the resulting chaos. Thankfully, in part due to the passing of my partner Tom in March 2013, I've had my eyes opened. It was both my grief over his passing and the sudden loss of the income that relationship provided that I had a major crisis. Now, I am on medication and on the road to recovery, not as a persun without Bipolar II and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, but as one who manages it well with treatment, counseling, and support.
My situation, in practical terms, including my needing to move on August 1, and not having savings or a job right now, is still serious, though, so I'll soon be posting an online fundraiser with the help of my friends. I hope you will be able to give what you can to the cause, which is to assist me in my living costs as I continue my search for employment and the long process of applying for disability benefits.

-----------------------
In the meantime, I do have a www.paypal.com account to which you can "Send Money" at cxmusic(at)gmail.com :-)
Your gift would most immediately go to pay for the next month of my websites (due 6/28) and renew my domain of cassendrexavier.com for the next year (due 6/23).
I would LOVE to write back in a couple of days and report that the small donations from so many of you really helped me reach this, and possibly other immediate goals!
 If I've ever soothed, inspired, informed, humored, or entertained you with my writing, music, acting, or fine art, please make a donation of any size today! I'll give you a shout-out unless you request anonymity :-)
Thanks in advance and I'll repost this at the end of this museletter :-)
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Thanks to my fabulous ex-girlfriend www.KelliDunham.com for telling me about www.KateBornstein.com's successful online fundraiser of over $100,000 for cancer treatment and www.NomyLamm.com's successful fundraiser of over $5,000 to relocate her sweetheart so they could live together.
I thank Kelli, because while I've recently learned about, and researched www.Kickstarter.com's online fundraising website, it's only for creative projects, and doesn't permit one to raise emergency cost of living funds.
I am very grateful and want to take this opportunity to also plug Kelli's 5th and most important book www.FreakOfNurture.org, published by Topside Signature, an imprint of www.TopsidePress.com. Kelli's an ex-nun, stand up comic, and registered nurse (of course) who's worked in Haiti twice and speaks the language of my people better than I do. Anyway. Where was I? Oh yeah, the tagline of Freak of Nurture is "Whatever doesn't kill you makes you funnier". I'm in the book, too, and I'm pleased to say that Kelli forgot to change my name in it!
Back to Topside Press, they're not only eagerly seeking submissions, but they give feedback upon rejections. I spoke to Topside's Riley about this on Sat/15 when Kelli presented a workshop at the 12th Annual Philadelphia Trans Health Conference http://trans-health.com. It was called "You Don't Have To Love Your Body To Take Care Of It" and it was very good. I know, because I was there! Kelli has a link to it on her Twitter page http://twitter.com/kellidunham. Or, if you want the write up when it's ready, email her at KelliDunham(at)gmail.com.
Anyway, back to my beautifully mad brain chemistry :-)
I have also come out as a persun with bipolar and serious depression to add to the visibility of us, to help remove the stigma of mental illness in our society (the main reason I was in denial and remained untreated) and to help others who may feel alone in our diagnosis.
You would be surprised how many people have "come out" to me, albeit privately, as having this disorder.
Some of the people I've been appreciating, inspired by, and trying to model most recently have been:

• Actress Jenifer Lewis (came out as bipolar on Oprah). Also discussed the additional stigma in the African-American/black community about mental disorders, or I feel like saying, "differences".

• Joe Pantoliano aka Joe Pants: Well-known actor who has suffered from serious depression for many years and started a foundation based on the documentary of the same name to help remove the stigma of mental "disease" as he calls it (to get the same respect from medical treatment and insurance professionals). It's called No Kidding? Me Too! http://NKM2.org. Also search and subscribe to the YouTube channel No Kidding? Me Too!.

• Writer/Actress Carrie Fisher (Star Wars' Princess Lea, Shampoo, When Harry Met Sally) has been talking about her "mental illness". I saw her on Jon Favreau's "Dinner for Five" and while I knew she openly discussed her addictions and family dysfunction in her novel-turned-Meryl Streep movie "Postcards From The Edge"), it was watching her openly discuss her mental illness and being in a mental hospital that really made me decide to come out and talk about this. If she could do it, so can I!

2) A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A NEWLY MEDICATED DEPRESSED BIPOLAR CHYK GRIEVING THE RECENT DEATH OF HER MAN
Dang it! I missed my window to get out and run errands today. 2nd day in a row, but today it's pouring rain. Thankfully I have one appointment tomorrow at which I am expected, one which I requested and which benefits me. That guarantees I get out.
How to make up for some of yesterday's and today's loss?
A) Reach out to friends who also are or have been bipolar, depressed, and/or grieving.
B) Use my BlackBerry phone for some of the online tasks I had planned.
C) Groom myself.
D) Make more plans for tomorrow and plans for Thursday.
E) Write in my journal things I like about myself, and why or how my two biggest problems or worries can or will be solved.
F) Get out my guitar and play and sing for the first time since my last gig (over 2 weeks).
G) Keep remembering the latest slogan or idea that helps me, (paraphrasing) "Don't come into agreement with fearful or negative thoughts from yourself or others." --Joel Osteen
H) Don't feel bad about myself, my procrastinating, my depression, nor for any other reason.
I) Smile, recall funny moments or thoughts, and laugh!
J) Know that all is well, everything's going to be okay, send this to my readers and say Thank You! :-) <3


3) FAREWELL BLESSING
A) May you see yourself through the eyes of God.
B) May you find no reason to punish yourself, ever.
C) May you always know you are worthy of love, abundance, prosperity, kindness, and forgiveness, simply because you exist.
D) May you find more beauty and patience within yourself each day.
E) May you recognize and behave as if you are aware that your outer world is merely a mirror or expression of your inner world, and that how others treat you is how you treat yourself or expect, accept, or instruct others to teach you.
F) May you take the time and have the courage to create your own religion or spirituality, and your own sexuality, only accepting what is really true for yourself in your own deepest heart and knowing: accepting only love and releasing all fear.
G) May you receive these words in the loving spirit in which they were written, changing them as you feel moved to.
H) May all your fondest heart's desires come true, surpassing all your expectations; this or something better, and may it be for the good of all!

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Z) REMINDER TO PLEASE PAYPAL DONATE TO THE RENAISSANCE NEGRESSE :-)
An online fundraising campaign for my emergency living costs and pre-disability benefits needs is forthcoming. In the meantime, I do have a www.paypal.com account to which you can "Send Money" at cxmusic(at)gmail.com :-)
Your gift would most immediately go to pay for the next month of my websites (due 6/28) and renew my domain of cassendrexavier.com for the next year (due 6/23).
I would LOVE to write back in a couple of days and report that the small donations from so many of you really helped me reach this, and possibly other immediate goals!
If I've ever soothed, inspired, informed, humored, or entertained you with my writing, music, acting, or fine art, please make a donation of any size today! I'll give you a shout-out unless you request anonymity :-)
Thanks in advance! :-)
-------------------

--
Make yourself a beautiful day!
 
Cassendre Xavier (aka Amethyste Rah, aka Amrita Waterfalls)
"renaissance negresse & ARTrepreneur"
(musician/writer/actress/fine artist)
Founder & Director of Philadelphia's 8th Annual Black Women's Arts Festival, and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series

Friday, June 7, 2013

Start Where You Are! (Life Purpose Inspiration)

Greetings, dear readers!

I just saw an inspiring quote and wanted to share it with you, along with some extra encouragement!

“Do not wait: the time will never be 'just right'. Start where you stand, and work whatever tools you may have at your command and better tools will be found as you go along.” ― Napoleon Hill (Build that Ark)

"I have never begun an important venture for which I felt adequately prepared." --Sheldon Kopp

Moving Forward On Your Life Purpose, YouTube video by Doreen Virtue http://tinyurl.com/lxuymmx

Start Where You Are: A Call to Healing Artists, Wisdom Magazine article by Cassendre Xavier http://wisdom-magazine.com/Article.aspx/1770


--
Make yourself a beautiful day!
 
Cassendre Xavier (aka Amethyste Rah, aka Amrita Waterfalls)
"renaissance negresse & ARTrepreneur"
(musician/writer/actress/fine artist)
Founder & Director of Philadelphia's 8th Annual Black Women's Arts Festival, and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series

My Green Smoothie YouTube Video & Raw Vegan Book

Salutations, fellow und zie sistren humynoids!

How art thous? Thees? Anyhoo... :-)

Don't hate me because I'm digesting green smoothie right now! Oh, the roughage! Oh, the alkaline-soothed innards! Oh, the chlorophyl, vitamins, minerals, and love from The Living Plants And Where They Come From!
Please enjoy my YouTube video "Intro to Green Smoothies Part 2 of 3" at http://tinyurl.com/lkpzfxt.
Trivia:
• I was living with, and getting my blue hair done courtesy of my late sweetie, Tom, who passed away in March 2013.
• I weigh less now than I did then.
• Background music by Thaddeus www.orinDaben.com. Used with permission.
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Also, check out my print and ebook "Expanding Your Capacity for Joy: A Raw Vegan Comfort Book, Sourcebook, and Journal" http://ARtistPublications.homestead.com
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All for now till I write again! :-)

--
Make yourself a beautiful day!
 
Cassendre Xavier (aka Amethyste Rah, aka Amrita Waterfalls)
"renaissance negresse & ARTrepreneur"
(musician/writer/actress/fine artist)
Founder & Director of Philadelphia's 8th Annual Black Women's Arts Festival, and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Choosing To Live (poem/book excerpt)

by Cassendre Xavier

If ever you find yourself
Hating some part of your body That reminds you of your aging Perhaps softening muscle
Or a gray strand or three Remember they are proof
You made it
You did not give up
The gods didn't take you
But let you live
You chose to live life
Your life
Be grateful
Be grateful
And love your beautiful old
And young body
Love it all
Because this is life
Your life
Beautiful
Striking
Inimitable
Life
And you are still choosing
To live.

New chapbooks and ebooks coming soon!

--
Make yourself a beautiful day!
 
Cassendre Xavier (aka Amethyste Rah, aka Amrita Waterfalls)
"renaissance negresse & ARTrepreneur"
(musician/writer/actress/fine artist)
Founder & Director of Philadelphia's 8th Annual Black Women's Arts Festival, and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series

I Think The Universe Wants Me To Start Saying No To Stuff

TO WORK WITH A CULT OR NOT TO WORK WITH A CULT? THAT TRULY IS THE QUESTION
I haven't publicly shared the details, but I kinda sort of accidentally, how shall I put this, played a gig for a cult recently. I know I appear to be on the intelligent side of things, but what can I say, y'all, I was bamboozified (aka "bamboozerated")!
Well, this morning I received a text message from the lovely lady who booked me to perform under misleading and false pretenses. She wants to buy me breakfast to discuss, I'm sure, the various additional work she wanted me to do for her cul- oops, I mean, the "organization" that arranged her marriage and on which she serves as chair of this local chapter.
There are as many carrots dangling in front of my face (of potentially well-paying performance and vending opportunities) as are my inner gut bad feelings about having any further contact with these people (reminiscent of the Church of Scientology's allegedly recruiting celebrities with leadership qualities and/or role model status). When I'm in their environment, I'm aware of how bad I feel, how imprisoned, because I'm in a space where it isn't safe to be one's true self or speak one's own truth. Not safe to be or express being anything other than heterosexual, abstinent from sex outside of marriage, or have relationship or religious choice outside of what the One True Leader assigns.
I remember when I was last in that kind of environment: when I was a kid growing up in my father's house. He was our One True Leader. Well, not my leader, and that's why I got the brunt of the discipline.
Spirit is teaching me to say no to people, places, and things that don't feel right to me. That feel bad. That don't embrace the truth of who and what I am. That don't love what I love, or want what would make me happy.
It's time to start saying no.

UNEMPLOYABLE CHRONICLES
"Hi Cassendra(sic)! It's ____ from ____. Can you please come over on Saturday during the day to talk about working here?"

That's the text I got from the 8 minute interview from the Eastern European woman who makes me very nervous with her high speed plus lack of clear communication, organizational, and management skills. I know I need "a" job very much, but do I need "this" one? Not if it's going to be more of the mess I've encountered from that first phone call. Why do I do this?
I think it's because I want to leap into my own line of work, but I'm afraid to do it. So, I'm attracting unpleasant work experiences in order to force myself to create my dream business once and for all.
But getting back to that text, I mean, what the ?!? Are you asking me to come in for a second interview (if so, the answer's no), or are you saying I've got the job (the answer would still be no). Why so vague?
My last barista job was with an equally vague manager and management style. I don't think it's a good idea for me to try that again.

So, what's a renaissance negresse to do?

Take a deep breath and jump. And as I'm mustering up the gumption to do that, I'm writing and sharing the journey.

Merry Christmas!



--
Make yourself a beautiful day!
 
Cassendre Xavier (aka Amethyste Rah, aka Amrita Waterfalls)
"renaissance negresse & ARTrepreneur"
(musician/writer/actress/fine artist)
Founder & Director of Philadelphia's 8th Annual Black Women's Arts Festival, and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Sister Healing Alone

Stomach and head hurt from eating junk today (along with healthy stuff, but still).
But unlike the olden days, I'm not beating myself up about, uh, essentially beating myself up with food. Instead, I feel good about myself because I know I'm making progress and I don't have to be perfect.
As the founder and former facilitator of Sisters Healing Together, a peer support group for women survivors of incest with a special focus on compulsive overeating (William Way Community Center, Philadelphia, 1996-1999), I am remembering one of the books that helped me, "Losing Your Pounds of Pain: Exploring the Link Between Abuse & Compulsive Overeating," by Doreen Virtue, Ph.D. http://tinyurl.com/n7xjoda
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Sorry I cannot accept any more Facebook friends, and that my fan page is other than excellent. Please join over 300 members at the Official Group of Cassendre Xavier - renaissance negresse, where I post often and send love and light! http://facebook.com/groups/81610690951
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@AmethysteRah
@AmritaWaterfalls
@BWAFphilly
@renaissancenegresse
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:-) <3


--
Make yourself a beautiful day!
 
Cassendre Xavier (aka Amethyste Rah, aka Amrita Waterfalls)
"renaissance negresse & ARTrepreneur"
(musician/writer/actress/fine artist)
Founder & Director of Philadelphia's 8th Annual Black Women's Arts Festival, and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series

UNEMPLOYABLE: Formula For A Job From Hell

Greetings, dear readers, and what a joy it is to addressify (aka "addressicate" ye today!

WELCOME TO THE UNEMPLOYABLE CHRONICLES!
Here we (Cassendre Xavier aka Amethyste Rah aka Amrita Waterfalls) attempt to track the efforts of the renaissance negresse to secure gainful day job employment while building her FollowYourBliss Productions, Serious Creature Music, ARtivist Publications, and Amethyste Affirmations, all of which are extensions of Cassendre Xavier Enterprises, and bring you events like the Black Women's Arts Festival, products like Live at Tin Angel, Expanding Your Capacity for Joy, and Affirmations for Survivors, for example. (Just for starters.)


THE BACK STORY OF "UNEMPLOYABLE"
One of the many cool places I worked in Philadelphia is Infinite Body Piercing. At the time, we sold these cool black t-shirts with the word "Unemployable" in bold white print. The idea was that when you're covered in tattoos and piercings, scarification, Kinkos isn't exactly bustin' down your door to hire you :-). Although I've seen bold facial piercings at Staples :-) Did you know, for instance, that Starbucks won't hire you if you have too many earrings? I don't know if that's still the case, but years ago I interviewed and almost got the job, except for my heavily adorned left ear. And I heard of one employee who got fired for forgetting to keep her neck tattoo covered by a bandage.
 Later, I heard had a different idea of being "unemployable" when I was speaking with a woman who owns her own events production company. She told me she couldn't even work for anyone else anymore, because she'd become so her own person. And recently I ran into her at a concert of mine and she was all aglow, and super happy to be self-employed. She said it has been working very well for her for many years. She can't imagine ever going back.
 I think this is where I'm headed. I'm now building the kind of work I want to do that will support me well, and allow me to be joyous and free. For now, I still need and benefit from having day jobs. But that hasn't always been the case and it won't be when I've set up my perfect career!


FORMULA FOR A JOB FROM HELL
I've lived and worked in Philadelphia since 1991, and I can tell you what I've learned from my many day job experiences from retail/customer service, to the food and hospitality fields:

Retail/customer service:

1) There's only one owner (or two spouses, or as I like to say as plural for spouse: "spice").
2) The owner(s)' style of management is like that of their lifestyles: high stress. This makes the work environment high stress, when it totally doesn't need to be. Work can be done in a relaxed setting, and if there's no way to make it that way, I don't want to be there. I've worked around too many people who have physical characteristics of being old before their time. Although they are financially independent and successful, and mine in this area is a struggle for stability, I don't believe the only trade-off is to be youthful and broke. I'm working on creating a system for myself that involves both financial stability and continued health and youthfulness. Seeking examples of that will help me.

Food Service:
1) There's only 1 owner.
2) There's very little management done properly, with structure and organization.
3) There are all kinds of inappropriate personal behaviors allowed, such as extreme gossip and flirting, and if you don't comply, you don't fit in, and then you're fired.
3) There's a ridunkulous amount of turn-around. (People always quitting, always getting fired.)

The worst is when the owner is from a foreign country which is very poor and wherein the workers are happy to work practically as slaves for a pittance. The federal rules of payment and breaks never apply with these folks,and they know nothing about how to train and manage a staff in a way that is pleasant and productive. I have an ulcer just thinking about, or interviewing with these people.

Live-In Babystitter, Nanny, or Housekeeper
1) The parents are in a dysfunctional relationship.
2) One or more of the parents consistently crosses the boundaries of work exchange. One time I had an interview/1st day trial. One of the partners of the relationship was the boss, had all her pictures around of herself, her friends, and her family, and the other partner had no say, and no pictures of herself or her family in the common areas of the house. And it wasn't a consensual Dominant/submissive relationship, either, for you sophisticates out there! Also, I wasn't supposed to start work until 12noon, and the abusive partner called me to work at 11:45am, knowingly, and testing me. This was my first day, trial period. After that first day, I ran from there and never looked back. I ought to have known when, during my 1st interview and meeting with Mom #1, she actually said to me, "I consider myself enlightened." If ever anyone tells you they're "enlightened", run and do not stroll about the matter!


IN CLOSING
I have very much enjoyed working in retail customer service, food service, and doing domestic work. It's just that those situations were cool - nice people, good organization. That's what I'm looking for again. But in the meantime, I must continue to be me and share my journey along the way, which includes the rant of the occasional sort!
Thanks for listening!



--
Make yourself a beautiful day!
 
Cassendre Xavier (aka Amethyste Rah, aka Amrita Waterfalls)
"renaissance negresse & ARTrepreneur"
(musician/writer/actress/fine artist)
Founder & Director of Philadelphia's 8th Annual Black Women's Arts Festival, and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series

Monday, June 3, 2013

Gratitude Really Works! (Plus: "Relax to Receive")

GRATITUDE REALLY WORKS!
I was all bummed, and missed my trolley. Then, as I walked to a nearby different trolley, I decided to relax, unsour up my face, smile a little bit (was like bending metal) and practice some gratitude. Suddenly, I was overwhelmed with all the beautiful, lush green, pink and yellow plant life all around my beautiful West Philly neighborhood. I started pointing them out in my head, appreciating each tree, bush, group of flowers when suddenly I had to run --- the trolley was coming! Estimated wait from missed trolley to replacement trolley: 2 minutes. I'm sure had I stayed in Bitterland I'd have had a longer wait. Booyah!
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Please enjoy "Relax to Receive" (http://tinyurl.com/le8tp9m), from my Affirmations for Survivors guided meditation series under my self-assigned soul name Amethyste Rah.
For more info about the series, including how to order, and my upcoming Saturday June 29 feature on the theme of "Survivor" at GET OPEN True Story Open Mic at Wired Beans Cafe in Philadelphia, please visit http://tinyurl.com/mqb9chv.

--
Make yourself a beautiful day!
 
Cassendre Xavier (aka Amethyste Rah, aka Amrita Waterfalls)
"renaissance negresse & ARTrepreneur"
(musician/writer/actress/fine artist)
Founder & Director of Philadelphia's 8th Annual Black Women's Arts Festival, and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series

Barista Interview Woes (Plus: "Love is a Battlefield"!)

I just booked a job interview, and I can't even get excited.
Not because I'm a wee on the melancholian side right now, but because it's a barista job and you would not beLIEVE the levels of flakery I've dealt with lately trying to get a job as a barista again.
This time, the story includes the following joyful nuggets:
I asked which cafe was calling. She said they didn't put that in their Craigslist ad. She implied she didn't know which cafe. But after she gave me address, she then told me the name of the cafe. Clearly she had the info before, so why didn't she just give it when I asked? Another highlight was when I told her I could meet her before 1pm. She said, "That won't work. Best I could do is 11:30am." Help me, Baby Jesus.
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Please enjoy my arrangement of Mike Chapman and Holly Knight's song "Love is a Battlefield" (http://tinyurl.com/lchqpo3), which was made famous by Pat Benetar in the 1980s.
This song is on my album The Whittenberg Sessions (2002/Serious Creature Music)
Available at CD Baby http://cdbaby.com/all/cassendre
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Hear this and more music, poetry, affirmation songs, parody songs, guided meditations, and raw food prep (of course!) at CXTV: The Official Cassendre Xavier YouTube Channel at
http://tinyurl.com/CXYouTube.
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Sorry I cannot accept any more Facebook friends, and that my fan page is other than excellent. Please join over 300 members at the Official Group of Cassendre Xavier - renaissance negresse, where I post often and send love and light!
http://facebook.com/groups/81610690951
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@AmethysteRah
@AmritaWaterfalls
@BWAFphilly
@renaissancenegresse
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(Never let it be said!)

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Make yourself a beautiful day!
 
Cassendre Xavier (aka Amethyste Rah, aka Amrita Waterfalls)
"renaissance negresse & ARTrepreneur"
(musician/writer/actress/fine artist)
Founder & Director of Philadelphia's 8th Annual Black Women's Arts Festival, and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series

Sunday, June 2, 2013

The Courage to Love & The Practice of Gratitude

by Cassendre Xavier

[Inspired by the YouTube video
"Dr. Brené Brown on Joy: It's Terrifying - Super Soul Sunday - Oprah Winfrey Network" http://tinyurl.com/kuw7t9y]

I just shared with a close friend how I transformed a situation of unhappy thoughts after an incedent last night to happy thoughts of gratitude for so much of the good that was happening around me. Gratitude does work! You CAN "see it", as the good Doctor says in this clip.
Also, having recently lost my partner to death from a heart condition, I can definitely say that one of the things I immediately felt was sorrow at not having risked, loved, given, hoped, trusted, enjoyed, or been vulnerable more. It's so true, I now know, that there IS no significant benefit to not get your hopes up, and to shield your heart. It's an immature, short-term method to avoid pain. The far greater thing is to love so big and so hard that if you lost it, you'd fall as big and as hard. I didn't wait after Tom died to start practicing more love and vulnerability. We can express these things in every area of our lives, and in all our relationships, most importantly with ourselves. Love as much as you fear pain and, and if ever the pain does come, you will then have the strength and courage to face it. The last thing you want is to wish you had loved more. Trust me. :-) <3 --CX.
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Video description: "Joy is an emotion so many people seek, but, Dr. Brené Brown says, it's by far the most terrifying feeling we face. Find out why we're so afraid our joy will be taken away. Plus, discover why Dr. Brown says we can't find joy without gratitude."
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Sorry I cannot accept any more Facebook friends, and that my fan page is other than excellent. Please join over 300 members at the Official Group of Cassendre Xavier - renaissance negresse, where I post often and send love and light! http://facebook.com/groups/81610690951
-------------
@AmethysteRah
@AmritaWaterfalls
@BWAFphilly
@renaissancenegresse

--
Make yourself a beautiful day!
 
Cassendre Xavier (aka Amethyste Rah, aka Amrita Waterfalls)
"renaissance negresse & ARTrepreneur"
(musician/writer/actress/fine artist)
Founder & Director of Philadelphia's 8th Annual Black Women's Arts Festival, and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series