Saturday, March 23, 2013

Diary of a renaissance negresse 3/20/13

Wednesday, March 20, 2013
 
EATINGS

8:00am - 2 bananas
8:50am - Ginger snaps and peppermint patties
1:00pm - 1 banana
2:00pm - 1 banana
6:15pm-7:00pm - Kaiser rolls and whole grain French baguette dipped in mixture of extra virgin olive oil, fresh squeezed lemon juice, cayennen, and garlic
8:50pm - Kaiser rolls, extra virgin olive oil, cayenne, sea salt

SPECIFIC QUANTITIES OF LIFE
I'm not logging quantities these days. I trust myself to make adjustments as needed, and eat whatever quantities of whatever foods I choose.
 
AND AT NIGHT THE DREAMS
I've been dreaming about lots of celebrities. That they're my friends and my peers. This makes me feel wonderful and seems true to me. I've also been having dreams about sexual abuse, and somehow more disturbing than when I had PTSD. I recognize this as being a growth spurt and a good sign of health. I am going through a major time of healing, recognition, self empowerment and actualization. As it has before, this, too, shall pass. I trust myself, I am hopeful and all is well.
 
38 THE MAGIC NUMBER
I just realized that I was the same age when I decided to create my own religion (totally accept my own ideas of spiritual truth for myself) as I was when I got clear on what exactly I liked sexually and would no longer settle for or compromise about.
 The same age/the same time. Is it a coincidence, when the second chakra (energy center on the body) handles both sexuality and creativity? Is it a coincidence, when most spiritual thinkers believe and agree that creativity and sexual energy are one and the same?
 
BREAKTHROUGH: I AM A MERCHANT ARTIST
Part of my artistry is selling. It's fun and necessary for me. When I don't sell, I don't feel good. I need to be a merchant. Merchandising is part of my creative make up and joy.
 
ARTIST INSPIRATION: Art that is created as one's medicine or therapy in some way will succeed.

------IN EVERY ISSUE...

NEXT 5 GIGS:

Saturday, March 30, 2013
1pm - 4pm
Soul Acoustic Sessions
(Hosted by Robert Osiris Wildfire
Aiken)
Wired Beans Cafe
301 W Chelten Ave
Philadelphia, PA
No cover charge!
---------------------
Sunday, March 31, 2013
6:00pm - 9:30pm
$5 Suggested
The META: "Queen Me!" | Female Appreciation Session
(Hosted by Paul S.Frosty Jackson)
Studio 34 Yoga | Healing | Arts
4522 Baltimore Avenue
Philadelphia, PA 19143
-------------------
Saturday, April 6, 2013 (Rain Date Sunday April 7) 1pm - 5pm Free!
Countdown to Germantown Day
Vernon Park
5818 Germantown Ave
Philadelphia, PA 19144
www.FriendsOfVernonPark.org/countdown
----------------------
Saturday, April 20, 2013 – *11:00am – 5:00pm - No cover charge!
Go West! Craft Fest
The Woodlands
40th St & Woodland Ave
Philadelphia, PA
*I will sing and have my world-famous renaissance negresse crafts available for sale between 12 and 2.
http://gowestcraftfest.blogspot.com  
---------------------------------
Saturday, April 20, 2013 (Rain Date Sunday April 21) - No cover charge!
Uhuru Health Fest & Flea Market
Clark Park
43rd St & Chester Ave.
Philadelphia, PA 19143
*I will sing after 3pm and have my world-famous renaissance negresse crafts available for sale during the entire event.
http://uhurufleamarket.blogspot.com  
---------------------------
Linkery device units: http://cassEndrExavier.com
http://youtube.com/cassendrexavier
http://cdbaby.com/all/cassendre

Thank you for your time.

(c) Copyright 2013 by Cassendre Xavier. Permission granted to share, not sell all or parts of this content. All rights reserved. www.cassEndrExavier.com

Blog archives and subscriptions: http://cassendrexavier.blogspot.com

--
--
--
Make yourself a beautiful day~

Cassendre Xavier (aka Amethyste Rah aka Amrita Waterfalls)
renaissance negresse (musician/writer/visual artist/actress)
http://cassEndrExavier.com

Founder of the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002)
http://WomensWritingSeries.homestead.com

Founder & Director of Philadelphia's Annual Black Women's Arts
Festival (Est. 2003) http://BWAFphilly.homestead.com
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BWAFphilly

Diary of a renaissance negresse 3/19/13

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

EATINGS

12:10am - 1 cup low fat, sugarless processed savory, unhealthy snack
1:00pm - 2 bananas
2:50pm - 2 bananas
4:45pm-5:45pm - 1 row unsalted soft mini-pretzels with spicy brown mustard, all natural gingersnaps, chocolate-covered peppermint patties

TODAY'S PROGRESS
I exercised again today! I did housework. Applied for and followed through on jobs or arts/entertainment gigs. Remembered not to stay in the feeling of worry. Got out of apartment. Made and did lots on lists.
 
BLISSFOLLOWAGE
Corresponded with musicians on Craigslist today. I expect it to yield as much good stuf in assisting me to reaching my musical goals as Amazon asssisted me in selling many of my used books and CDs. Craigslist has given me lots of jbs, places to live and people to do. So I'm expecting it will also send me  musicians to make the beautiful musique with. Alas!
 

------IN EVERY ISSUE...

NEXT 5 GIGS:

Saturday, March 30, 2013
1pm - 4pm
Soul Acoustic Sessions
(Hosted by Robert Osiris Wildfire
Aiken)
Wired Beans Cafe
301 W Chelten Ave
Philadelphia, PA
No cover charge!
---------------------
Sunday, March 31, 2013
6:00pm - 9:30pm
$5 Suggested
The META: "Queen Me!" | Female Appreciation Session
(Hosted by Paul S.Frosty Jackson)
Studio 34 Yoga | Healing | Arts
4522 Baltimore Avenue
Philadelphia, PA 19143
-------------------
Saturday, April 6, 2013 (Rain Date Sunday April 7) 1pm - 5pm Free!
Countdown to Germantown Day
Vernon Park
5818 Germantown Ave
Philadelphia, PA 19144
www.FriendsOfVernonPark.org/countdown
----------------------
Saturday, April 20, 2013 – *11:00am – 5:00pm - No cover charge!
Go West! Craft Fest
The Woodlands
40th St & Woodland Ave
Philadelphia, PA
*I will sing and have my world-famous renaissance negresse crafts available for sale between 12 and 2.
http://gowestcraftfest.blogspot.com  
---------------------------------
Saturday, April 20, 2013 (Rain Date Sunday April 21) - No cover charge!
Uhuru Health Fest & Flea Market
Clark Park
43rd St & Chester Ave.
Philadelphia, PA 19143
*I will sing after 3pm and have my world-famous renaissance negresse crafts available for sale during the entire event.
http://uhurufleamarket.blogspot.com  
---------------------------
Linkery device units: http://cassEndrExavier.com
http://youtube.com/cassendrexavier
http://cdbaby.com/all/cassendre

Thank you for your time.

(c) Copyright 2013 by Cassendre Xavier. Permission granted to share, not sell all or parts of this content. All rights reserved. www.cassEndrExavier.com

Blog archives and subscriptions: http://cassendrexavier.blogspot.com

--
--
--
Make yourself a beautiful day~

Cassendre Xavier (aka Amethyste Rah aka Amrita Waterfalls)
renaissance negresse (musician/writer/visual artist/actress)
http://cassEndrExavier.com

Founder of the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002)
http://WomensWritingSeries.homestead.com

Founder & Director of Philadelphia's Annual Black Women's Arts
Festival (Est. 2003) http://BWAFphilly.homestead.com
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BWAFphilly

Friday, March 22, 2013

Diary of a renaissance negresse 3/18/13

Monday, March 18, 2013

EATINGS

11:45am-12:45pm - Green cabbage, onion and garlic stir-fried in 1 tablespoon pork fat, seasoned with turmeric, cayenne, cumin, sea salt, apple cider vinegar, and drizzled with 3 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil; 4 tablespoons peanut butter with 1 teaspoon honey and 1 tablespoon pancake syrup
4:30pm-5:30pm - Leftovers from (about 1/3 of) the above cabbage dish; 1 tablespoon peanut butter mixed with syrup.

DOINGS Y LA PROGRESSIA
*Household chore.
*Bodmovery. ("I exercised again today and got my heart rate up!")
*Rehearsed singing and guitar for 1 hour, and voice was not hoarse because I remembered from the start to use my diaphragm.

ANSWERS THAT CAME DURING REHEARSAGE (AKA "REHEARSACCIONE")
Don't focus on getting gigs right now. Some are fine. More focus is needed in getting a day job. As you do day job, you'll get more comfortable and keep writing new songs, and have more resources to continue your work as a musician.
Focus on getting financially comfortable and focus on doing all the things artistically you've been wanting to do.
No more cover songs during performances unless they're not on any CX recordings yet.

DELAY TACTIC
Reading books and websites about, and studying your peers and idols. The time has come to create your own. Read theirs alongside your post-published one not in dream but in physical form.

------IN EVERY ISSUE...

NEXT 5 GIGS:

Saturday, March 30, 2013
1pm - 4pm
Soul Acoustic Sessions
(Hosted by Robert Osiris Wildfire
Aiken)
Wired Beans Cafe
301 W Chelten Ave
Philadelphia, PA
No cover charge!
---------------------
Sunday, March 31, 2013
6:00pm - 9:30pm
$5 Suggested
The META: "Queen Me!" | Female Appreciation Session
(Hosted by Paul S.Frosty Jackson)
Studio 34 Yoga | Healing | Arts
4522 Baltimore Avenue
Philadelphia, PA 19143
-------------------
Saturday, April 6, 2013 (Rain Date Sunday April 7) 1pm - 5pm Free!
Countdown to Germantown Day
Vernon Park
5818 Germantown Ave
Philadelphia, PA 19144
www.FriendsOfVernonPark.org/countdown
----------------------
Saturday, April 20, 2013 – *11:00am – 5:00pm - No cover charge!
Go West! Craft Fest
The Woodlands
40th St & Woodland Ave
Philadelphia, PA
*I will sing and have my world-famous renaissance negresse crafts available for sale between 12 and 2.
http://gowestcraftfest.blogspot.com  
---------------------------------
Saturday, April 20, 2013 (Rain Date Sunday April 21) - No cover charge!
Uhuru Health Fest & Flea Market
Clark Park
43rd St & Chester Ave.
Philadelphia, PA 19143
*I will sing after 3pm and have my world-famous renaissance negresse crafts available for sale during the entire event.
http://uhurufleamarket.blogspot.com  
---------------------------
Linkery device units: www.cassEndrExavier.com
http://tinyurl.com/CXiTunes
http://tinyurl.com/CXYouTube
http://cdbaby.com/all/cassendre

Thank you for your time.

(c) Copyright 2013 by Cassendre Xavier. Permission granted to share, not sell all or parts of this content. All rights reserved. www.cassEndrExavier.com

Blog archives and subscriptions: http://cassendrexavier.blogspot.com


--
--
--
Make yourself a beautiful day~

Cassendre Xavier (aka Amethyste Rah aka Amrita Waterfalls)
renaissance negresse (musician/writer/visual artist/actress)
http://cassEndrExavier.com

Founder of the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002)
http://WomensWritingSeries.homestead.com

Founder & Director of Philadelphia's Annual Black Women's Arts
Festival (Est. 2003) http://BWAFphilly.homestead.com
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BWAFphilly

Thursday, March 21, 2013

renaissance negresse concerts & crafts fairs

Greetings, friends!  


I'd like to invite you to visit my hip hip hoppety blog, which features the world-famous Diary of a renaissance negresse at http://cassendrexavier.blogspot.com.

I'd also like to invite you to visit my wild and wacky YouTube channel at http://tinyurl.com/cxyoutube, wherein all my musiques et al can be witnessed.

I will now continue to the business at hand. Which is, uh, creating business to hand to thee and thy associacciones.

Please scrolleth thyselves in the downward direccione for the dates exact of appearances de Moi, wherein there shall be vocalizings, guitarplayery, and of course the sellings of world-famous renaissance negresse craftery.  

It is because Moi cares that Moi shares :-)

Many thanks for your blessed timery et lookings!

 

Make yourself a beautiful day!

 

Cassendre Xavier (aka Amethyste Rah, aka Amrita Waterfalls)

"renaissance negresse & ARTrepreneur"

(musician/writer/actress/fine artist)

Founder & Director of Philadelphia's 8th Annual Black Women's Arts Festival, and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series

Website: http://www.cassEndrExavier.com  

 

Saturday, March 30, 2013 - 1pm to 4pm - No cover charge!

Soul Acoustic Sessions

(Hosted by Robert Osiris Wildfire

Aiken)

Wired Beans Cafe

301 W Chelten Ave

Philadelphia, PA

 

---------------------------------------------------

Saturday, April 20, 2013 – *11:00am – 5:00pm - No cover charge!

The Woodlands

40th St & Woodland Ave

Philadelphia, PA

*I will sing and have my world-famous renaissance negresse crafts available for sale between 12 and 2.

http://gowestcraftfest.blogspot.com  

 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Saturday, April 20, 2013 (Rain Date Sunday April 21) - No cover charge!

Uhuru Health Fest & Flea Market

Clark Park

43rd St & Chester Ave.

Philadelphia, PA 19143

*I will sing after 3pm and have my world-famous renaissance negresse crafts available for sale during the entire event.

http://uhurufleamarket.blogspot.com  

 

 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sunday, March 31, 2013 - 6:00pm - 9:30pm - $5 Suggested

The META: "Queen Me!" | Female Appreciation Session

(Hosted by Paul S.Frosty Jackson)

Studio 34 Yoga | Healing | Arts

4522 Baltimore Avenue

Philadelphia, PA 19143

 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Friday, May 3rd, 2013 - 7pm - No cover. Tip jar passery (aka "passation without representation") usually occurrifies (aka "occuritates").

 

I return to perform a full opening set for the delightfully heart-warming band Saint Mad. Their "Saint Mad & Friends" on 1st Fridays is an absolutely wonderful event you ought to try at least once!

 

Crossroads Coffeehouse (in Roxborough)

 

6156 Ridge Ave

Phila, PA 19128

 

 

215.487.1923

 

 

 

Crossroads Info: http://crossroadsrox.com

Saint Mad info: http://saintmad.com

Monday, March 18, 2013

Diary of a renaissance negresse 3/17/13

Sunday, March 17, 2013

EATINGS
1:00pm-2:00pm - Stir-fried vegs (green cabbage, 2 carrots, 2 red potatoes, onion, 5 cloves garlic, cayenne peppohr, apple cider vinegar, virgin coconut oil); 3 tablespoons natural peanut butter with 1/4 cup brown sugar

THE UNIVERSE ALWAYS TAKES CARE OF ME
Always when I'm either attracted to or find an abundance of a particular plant food, it ends up being one I love to eat and turns out to be super healthy. Case in point, cabbage, which I've loved my whole life and happens to have been on sale for a ridiculous .09 cents/lb. at the supermarket near my 3-day a week volunteer babysitting. Check out the nutritional benefits of cabbage according to World's Healthiest Foods, and note some of the benefits are best accessed when the plant is cooked rather than raw. I'd tried raw cabbage juice recently but it was too strong for my highly fruit and smoothie diet. I've comfortably enjoyed such juice when I've been on a high salad and raw veggie diet - which is much harder on the tummal reggiones. On with it then! Clicketh thyself in the hereward direccione:   http://tinyurl.com/awmmek

I EXERCISED AGAIN TODAY!
That's progress, people! But wait! There's more!

TRANSCRIBED DIRECTEMENT FROM MOI'S HANDWRITTEN NOTACCIONES
Progress Made Today:
*Asked for clarification re: neurotic thought/assumption I had about a friend, rather than acting on it first.
*Rehearsed for 2 hours. Voice getting hoarse, then I remembered to breathe out from diaphram.
*Handwashed some unmentionables.
*Called on the angels for help.
*Journaled for many pages, turning my writings into first draft for April 2013 submission to Wisdom Mag online ed [http://tinyurl.com/CXWisdom]
*Swept my bedroom floor. Emptied trash in bathroom/bedroom.
*Flossed and salt water rinsed and gargled.

WHEN IS A BREAKDOWN NOT A BREAKDOWN?
When it is a gift. When you are so lonely yet you see friends all around you then you have the opportunity to see you are in the wrong place inside. You are not living your dream. You are not fully walking your path.
A breakdown is a gift when things are so broken down they point clearly to a new way, to new avenues and new exercises to engage for a different outcome.
A breakdown is a gift when it gives you pain so sharp you can't help but finally cry out for the help that's been wanting to be there for you all along.
A breakdown is a gift when it shows you lifelong error that will no longer be tolerated if your pre-conception agreement to fulfill your mission was real, and it was.
A breakdown is a gift when it has shown you how strong you are and how much you can take, do, and complete. Now, you know on a major scale, that you can fail. And live beyond failure.
A breakdown is a gift when it picks you up and places you gently in front of a mirror, saying, "See? You are beloved and wholly worthy and deserving of not only more, but the best."
Why not choose joy over suffering today?
View your breakdowns as gifts and help for achieving love and action over fear and despondency, that you may enjoy a better tomorrow by living fully the moment now.

------IN EVERY ISSUE...

MARCH APPEARANCES

Saturday, March 30, 2013
1pm - 4pm
Soul Acoustic Sessions
(Hosted by Robert Osiris Wildfire
Aiken)
Wired Beans Cafe
301 W Chelten Ave
Philadelphia, PA
No cover charge!

Sunday, March 31, 2013
6:00pm - 9:30pm
$5 Suggested
The META: "Queen Me!" | Female Appreciation Session
(Hosted by Paul S.Frosty Jackson)
Studio 34 Yoga | Healing | Arts
4522 Baltimore Avenue
Philadelphia, PA 19143

Linkery device units: www.cassEndrExavier.com
http://tinyurl.com/CXiTunes
http://tinyurl.com/CXYouTube
http://cdbaby.com/all/cassendre

Thank you for your time.

(c) Copyright 2013 by Cassendre Xavier. Permission granted to share, not sell all or parts of this content. All rights reserved. www.cassEndrExavier.com

Blog archives and subscriptions: http://cassendrexavier.blogspot.com

--
--
--
Make yourself a beautiful day~

Cassendre Xavier (aka Amethyste Rah aka Amrita Waterfalls)
renaissance negresse (musician/writer/visual artist/actress)
http://cassEndrExavier.com

Founder of the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002)
http://WomensWritingSeries.homestead.com

Founder & Director of Philadelphia's Annual Black Women's Arts
Festival (Est. 2003) http://BWAFphilly.homestead.com
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BWAFphilly

Sunday, March 17, 2013

Diary of a renaissance negresse 3/16/13

Saturday, March 16, 2013

EATINGS
12:50pm - 1 banana
1:50pm-2:50pm - Stewed green cabbage, beef, pork, potato, onion, garlic, cayenne peppohr, apple cider vinegar, salt, virgin coconut oil); 2 small corn tortillas with natural peanut butter and 3 syrups (agave, maple, pancake)
9:30pm-10:30pm - Stir-fried vegs (green cabbage, 2 carrots, 2 red potatoes, onion, 5 cloves garlic, cayenne peppohr, apple cider vinegar, virgin coconut oil); 2 small corn tortillas with natural peanut butter and pancake syrup

LOVE LOVE LOVE
In the form of gratitude
I have so much to be grateful for
I am healthy
I spend three (3) days a week
with an adorable baby
I feel fear leaving
Love clarifying, and truth
Strong

ROMANCE AND SELF-RELIANCE
There is such a thing as affording romance. (For the purposes of simplicity, and because I'm what's known as "bi-straight", I'm talking about gal/guy romance. If you can relate with what I'm saying, and you're more SGL, which stands for same-gender loving, you can replace the female/male with femme/butch or bottom/Top, etc.)
We know relationships are expensive for men. Dating women costs money, marrying women costs money, and divorce costs the most of all.
Now, I was never the girl who received cash and gifts from the men I dated. That didn't happen until the last four (4) years or so.
I've noticed there's a direct corrolation between the types of relationships I had when I was gainfully employed and when I was not.
When I was gainfully employed, I had equal power in my relationships, the men in my life did not spend money on me other than providing meals when I was spending time with them, and the occasional dinner or other date, and I don't recall ever resenting that.
While I have greatly enjoyed and appreciated the cash gifts, clothing, furniture, and trips the men in my recent dating life have provided me, I have found I don't have equal power in my relationships with them.
But, here's the rub: The only reason for that is that I didn't have my own money. If a woman has her own money, and the man gives her money, she still has power in that relationship. As soon as a woman is not financially independent, she's in trouble. It can be a very dangerous situation.
For me, I enjoyed the gifts, but it would have been much better for me to have my own money and *then* on top of that enjoy men's gifts and adventures.
Because of my precarious financial situation, men's money bought my silence, my denial about unpleasant or unacceptable conditions, and to a certain degree, my submission.
I say "to a certain degree" because, as anyone who has ever spent 5 minutes with me can attest, I'm not very submissive when it comes to going along with everything! And, I learned that when a man shells out money for everything all the time with a woman, he expects her to cause very few ripples in his plans.  
I learned that when a man pays for everything with a woman, he's paying for things other than what can be seen.
I'm not sure I can blame men for that. But it sure is inconvenient when a man gets tired of shelling out bucks for a difficult woman. Hypothetically speaking :-)
There have been times I've felt I couldn't afford to date. I was seeing people out of town, I was broke, and dating cost money. Travel, going out to eat, buying clothes, etc. But just when I thought that, out again would pop a Man Of Means who was more than happy to fund a relationship with a vivacious renaissance negresse who happens to be between arts grants! In the beginning and early on, we'd both look at one another through rose-colored sunglasses.
I remember when I was 20 I worked at a women's clothing store in a NJ suburban mall. It was a New England-based company and sold mostly pastel colored preppy-type clothes to mostly white women.
(I know... I fit right in! I kid, I joke :-)
We also sold leather bomber jackets. These jackets were locked up because they cost over $200.
I remember during weekends, women would come in alone, pick out some clothes and a bomber jacket, go out to the hallway, and come back with their boyfriends, bring the guy up to the counter and stand there while the guy would sheepishly present his credit card and we would carefully package her goods.
Forgive Moi for what I'm about to say, and remember, it was some time ago, I hadn't even really started dating then, but I thought, "These women are paying for things with sex." I totally thought it was glorified and legal prostitution, and would continue to do so as long as I was gainfully employed and not attracted to most things other girls dig (jewelry-I make my own, cars-I don't drive though I will collect someday, bomber jackets-ugh).
Flash forward to years and dating experience later when I would someday walk into a women's clothing store, pick out a lot of clothes, and walk out into the hallway to fetch my boyfriend who would walk in, plop down his credit card to the tune of, you guessed it, over $200.
I didn't think I was prostituting myself because I was enjoying the best sex of my life and I was doing it on my own uncommon terms. I viewed these women as doing it on common terms, and since the general terms of boy-girl sex are not my priority or preference (you're really getting a lot from me here, people! I hope you appreciate it!) I viewed it as a compromise on their part. I see that now, I didn't see it then. (Again, the gift of writing!)
But now that I see that they were straight girls into their kind of sex, they were probably just as happy as I was to be treated to these gifts by their lovers with whom they enjoyed le sexe.
I am a very frugal shopper. I got soooo much good stuff from that trip - stuff I still wear today.
I really appreciate my then boyfriend for all the gifts. For helpinh me out with rent for several months. For giving me money whenever I asked. And most of all for giving me money the many times I did not ask.
However, it cannot be ignored that it was conditional.
Still, I see the the blessings in every incident in my life - in every experience.
I see the codependence, the imbalance, and the need for me to again focus on being the child that God has blessed to have her own.
As challenging as this time without my monied men is, I am grateful for the opportunity to correct this problem, as it is abundantly clear it is not meant to be this way. I have too much to give to be broke. That's why I'm so happy to be able to write, and share my journey. I want to show how I process this issue. How I will become gainfully employed again, and this time, with my art, and for good.

BEING AN ARTIST DOESN'T HAVE TO MEAN BEING BROKE OR NEEDING A DAY JOB
The problem is I have what is called the disease of "Need to Know" combined with the disease of "Yeah, But I'm Afraid".
I ask the angels what to do, they tell me, then I'm too afraid to take action, and then I'm surprised I'm not doing as well as I could be.
At least now I'm back on track. Taking this hiatus since 2009. from making new records and since 2011 from producing the Black Women's Arts Festival has helped me clarify the steps to take in building the 2nd part of my artistic career.
With every new day and every new "Diary..." entry, I am more aware of what to do, and more courageous in getting it done.

------IN EVERY ISSUE...

MARCH APPEARANCES

Saturday, March 30, 2013
1pm - 4pm
Soul Acoustic Sessions
(Hosted by Robert Osiris Wildfire
Aiken)
Wired Beans Cafe
301 W Chelten Ave
Philadelphia, PA
No cover charge!

Sunday, March 31, 2013
6:00pm - 9:30pm
$5 Suggested
The META: "Queen Me!" | Female Appreciation Session
(Hosted by Paul S.Frosty Jackson)
Studio 34 Yoga | Healing | Arts
4522 Baltimore Avenue
Philadelphia, PA 19143

Linkery device units: www.cassEndrExavier.com
http://tinyurl.com/CXiTunes
http://tinyurl.com/CXYouTube
http://cdbaby.com/all/cassendre

Thank you for your time.

(c) Copyright 2013 by Cassendre Xavier. Permission granted to share, not sell all or parts of this content. All rights reserved. www.cassEndrExavier.com

Blog archives and subscriptions: http://cassendrexavier.blogspot.com


--
--
--
Make yourself a beautiful day~

Cassendre Xavier (aka Amethyste Rah aka Amrita Waterfalls)
renaissance negresse (musician/writer/visual artist/actress)
http://cassEndrExavier.com

Founder of the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002)
http://WomensWritingSeries.homestead.com

Founder & Director of Philadelphia's Annual Black Women's Arts
Festival (Est. 2003) http://BWAFphilly.homestead.com
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BWAFphilly

Saturday, March 16, 2013

Diary of a renaissance negresse 3/15/13

Friday, March 15, 2013

EATINGS
11:00am - 1 banana
12:00pm - Stew of garbanzo beans, potatoes, beef, pork, 4 cloves garlic eaten raw with meal, lots of cayenne pepphor; shredded wheat cereal with soymilk, brown sugar and cinnamon
2:10pm - 1 banana
7:30-8:30pm - Stew of cabbage, beef, pork, potatoes, onion, 4 cooked and 4 raw cloves of garlic, spices, salt, virgin coconut oil; 2 slices vegan "cheese"; shredded wheat cereal with soymilk, brown sugar and cinnamon

PROGRESS REPORT
I did some bodmovery and got mein heatrate ooop!

ARTIST INSPIRATION: WHEN IN DOUBT, WRITE
When, as artists, we get down, melancholy, or confused, that is the time to create - to do the art we say we want to do.
Even though sometimes I'm overwhelmed by my life's challenges, and I may not always see clearly the benefits of practicing my craft(s -writing, singing, playing guitar, etc.) whenever I do take the time to do something creative in the midst of melancholy, I am instantly rewarded.
Writing has always helped me feel better, process my emotions, and find solutions.
Practicing singing always connects me to Spirit and provides answers to my questions about how to reach more people with my music.
But, sometimes, you can feel too melancholy, discouraged, and weak to do your art. What to do in that case? Anything that makes you feel better. Read, watch entertainment, listen to music, sleep. If you have the energy, go for a walk, jog, bicycle ride, or the like.
But do whatever it takes until you can write again.
The sooner you can write or otherwise create, the closer you will be to getting back on the right track.
I am very grateful I did some exercise, have been well hydrating myself, taking lots of healthy herbs until I return to a high fruit and greens way of eating again.
When I returned to my bedroom with two (2) 64 oz containers of water, I was suddenly moved to write this blog. Unlike the first days when it was an assignment to myself, now it feels like a pleasure and a privilege. Most notably, it feels like a necessary food. Like medicine, therapy, and like feeding an infant of mine, all at once.
Writing this blog is helping me, and when the moments of doubt and insecurity visit, I remember this, and I prepare again to write.

INNER GUIDANCE
Sometimes I worry that eating meat and especially dairy will block my spiritual channel. I know that it does, but I also know that worry is a much stronger blocker than food are.
So, I trust the angels to take care of my body and assist me to do my best throughout challenging times. And I remain in communication with the Divine. I've been talking to God more these days. It's weird because I have no idea who I want God to be this time. I grew up being told who God is and over the years it's always been some different deud (or supposedly genderless entity who is still for some lazy language reason referred to as male).
In my mind, there is no God, but in my interest in having more assistance in life, and knowing that made-up stories and characters can be as real as we impose our beliefs upon, yeah, I do want some rich deud in my corner.
And I do think there is something to the idea of developing a close relationship with oneself via spirituality, which is to me what people are doing when they say they are talking to God, they're really talking to another aspect of themselves. This is yet another reason I join the atheists in passionately working to maintain or achieve in many cases a separation of church and state. How dare anyone who is merely talking to him or herself tell anyone else what to do!
So, for me, I am eating whatever I choose these days, and being quiet, talking to the God I am designing within me, and always, always, the angels, who guide me.

FEAR AND DIVINE LIFE PURPOSE
One of the things that happens when you start to work with angels is you get very clear signals, feelings to take steps toward fulfilling your Divine life purpose.
It's a story I've heard so many times, and one that I'm living myself right now:
You know what you want to do.
You have a dream and you've had this dream for a long time, maybe even as early as childhood.
You have been experiencing hints, "coincidences", synchronicities, thoughts, inner messages, ideas and gut instincts that let you clealy know which small step(s) to take next. But you don't do them, because of fear.
I've been learning a lot over the years about the powerful, fear-based ego and how it works to keep us away from fulfilling our life's purpose. I must admit, it's all still fairly new to me, and I don't understand why the ego is so committed to destroying our relationship to our life purpose. Maybe it's because we would be constantly improving our ability to act without fear. Maybe it's because we would be less and less at the mercy of ego, in fact, our ego becomes weaker and more ignored by us.
In the spirit of focusing more upon what to do and doing the right things and less on analyzing the challenges, I've been thinking lately about how to get around and work with my challenges insofar as Divine life purpose is concerned.
Inner guidance is helping me every day with my goals as I fulfill my Divine life purpose.
Ashe y l'chaim!

PROGRESS (AKA "LIFE") IS LIKE AN AMUSEMENT RIDE (IF YOU'RE DOING IT RIGHT :-)
I always talk about how important it is to note/record/log one's progress.
I mentioned just below my "Eatings" above that I excercised for the first time in weeks. Whoo-hoo! Here's more stuff I've done...
In regards to overcoming very strong, ego-based fear and related delay tactics, when it comes to fulfilling my Divine life purpise, I've taken a few steps of accione lately.
I've been talking to friends who are doing what I want to do. I've done research on what I want to do. I've been reminding myself I must and will take bigger action soon. And I've taken smaller action now in doing the above. Writing this blog is also progress, as it provides me a forum to post my progress as it occurs.
I've observed my thoughts get clearer, I have less fear, more joy, faith, and trust everything will be alright.
I am very lucky in that my childhood dreams have never changed and no matter how intense my challenges I still know without a doubt I will accomplish them. I just don't always know how!
Also, I've been acknowledging how much I *have* fulfilled thus far.
And I am willing to work again, in new and joyous, dedicated ways.

------IN EVERY ISSUE...

MARCH APPEARANCES

Saturday, March 30, 2013
1pm - 4pm
Soul Acoustic Sessions
(Hosted by Robert Osiris Wildfire
Aiken)
Wired Beans Cafe
301 W Chelten Ave
Philadelphia, PA
No cover charge!

Sunday, March 31, 2013
6:00pm - 9:30pm
$5 Suggested
The META: "Queen Me!" | Female Appreciation Session
(Hosted by Paul S.Frosty Jackson)
Studio 34 Yoga | Healing | Arts
4522 Baltimore Avenue
Philadelphia, PA 19143

Linkery device units: www.cassEndrExavier.com
http://tinyurl.com/CXiTunes
http://tinyurl.com/CXYouTube
http://cdbaby.com/all/cassendre

Thank you for your time.

(c) Copyright 2013 by Cassendre Xavier. Permission granted to share, not sell all or parts of this content. All rights reserved. www.cassEndrExavier.com

Blog archives and subscriptions: http://cassendrexavier.blogspot.com

--
--
--
Make yourself a beautiful day~

Cassendre Xavier (aka Amethyste Rah aka Amrita Waterfalls)
renaissance negresse (musician/writer/visual artist/actress)
http://cassEndrExavier.com

Founder of the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002)
http://WomensWritingSeries.homestead.com

Founder & Director of Philadelphia's Annual Black Women's Arts
Festival (Est. 2003) http://BWAFphilly.homestead.com
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BWAFphilly

Diary of a renaissance negresse 3/14/13

Thursday, March 14, 2013

EATINGS
8:45am - 1 banana
10:00am - 1 banana
2:10pm - 1 banana
4:15pm - 18 oz green smoothie (spinach, dandelion greens, bananas, green and red seedless grapery units)
6:00pm. - Stir-fry vegs (green cabbage, beet, onion, garlic, spices, salt, virgin coconut oil), Cap n' Crunch cereal with soymilk
8:00pm - 6 traditional Oreo cookies

HERE'S HOW MUCH I REALLY NEED TO WRITE THIS THING, OR: MORE PROOF THERE'S VALUE IN EVERY EXPERIENCE
So I was getting ready to write this thing and realized with mild horror and mid-level alarm that I'd accidentally deleted the draft I'd begun the previous day, you know.
What the draft had was the "EATINGS" seccione, if you will. (As it were.) And it had taken more than the usual amount of effortational energetic qualifications to write.
First of all, I'd had to dig it out of the trash. That's right, I log my daily EATINGS per mouthal entry, on the other side of a recycled pre-printed sheetal unit of papier (French for "paper" and pronounced "pop-YAY" for the none of you who didn't already know that. *God* I love being annoying!). This wood pulp-derived object I keep foldified in one of the pocketuals upon mein persun. Since I'm a writer and geek who also enjoys a good game of networking each time I step outside of my private dwelling, I always have a pen there, also.
Accidentally, I tore up and discarded today's entry. So I dug it out of my bedroom's trash. (wish I could say recycling, but alas, t'wouldn't be honest, although I do put most recycling in our kitchen's big blue bin.)
Then I moderate painstakingly lay the pieces close together on my bed upon whose edge I sat for said porpoise. Keep in mind I'd torn up the wood pulp derived sheetal unit from two (2) days prior as well, so quite some time and effortationals went into separate, but equalizing the whole sitcheeation. Finally the deed it was did and Moi couldst finalment proceed to re-type the darned thing. On my BlackBerry.
Yes, that therein be the rub. I type this thing every day, on my phone, with my two (2) thumbs.
When I saw the draft was gone, I considered not writing it again - and not having the "EATINGS" seccione in today's entrails.
But then, I felt like I was missing something. That the consistency was so pleasing to Moi-self that the lady she must continue.
So into the blessed trash again I dipped, and lay together and double-thumb tippy typed what you see here.
And, in choosing to do so, I was given the opportunity to realize a few things:
I have found a new joy.
I have found a new medicine.
I have found a new audience, and may we all be blessified (aka "blessicated" :-)

LANGUAGE UND ZIE MOI: WHY THE WACKINESS?
I think there's a two (2)-part system in the wacky language I use in my blogwritery.
A) I like to make up words. It's fun, it's creative, and it's sometimes annoying to others, which makes me smile! Inspiration for making up words comes slightly from others I've seen who do it seriously, like Arielle Ford's (www.soulmatesecret.com) coined "feelingization", from scholar Mary Daly, whose "Wickedary" I used to own, and from the many wise teacher authors who say that we can make up words if we want, because every word that exists was made up as well.
But mostly the inspiration for making up words comes from within, and it's a habit I share with my brother, who is often very silly and high-larious with his verbal linguistations also!
B) I like to mix languages. The inspiraccione for this comes from two (2) sourceries: Miss Piggy, (of course), who loves to intersperse le Francais in her talkings, and the Bob Geldof autobiography "Is That It", which I read in my late teens, early 20s. I have a theory that because of the combination of centuries of suffering from economic depression and spiritual/sexual oppression, plus having as a nation the school curriculum of reading much of the finest literature ever written, the Irish are some of the best writers on the frikkin' planet.
Geldof is not only an example of that, but indeed he's the one who inspired this observation to begin with. Reading about his upbringing and how the Boomtown Rats ("I Don't Like Mondays") came to be, and every exciting thing in between, from his Pentax camera to the tight red corduroy pants that led to a fateful meeting with his future wife Paula Yates, I had an adventure.
Two (2) stories from "Is That It" became part of my artistic experience, as it were. (If you will.) The first was the powerfully described account of a time of Lent in his widowed father's highly Catholic home. Because grapes were an expensive delicacy, they were rarely part of the Geldof family's culinary experience. Well, smart-arse Bob knew this, and so he chose it as the thing he would give up for Lent. To teach young Bobbo a lesson, his father brought home a big bag of grapes, which the family, all but Bob, relished grandly, cruelly allowing the sweet fruit's juice to run and fall down their chomping, slurping mouths. Geldof's account was so poignant and well-written I chose to use it, exactly as written, as a monologue in my acting class. My teacher, Drucie McDaniels (Girl, Interrupted) said I did well that exercise, so I have ol' sinnin' Bob to thank for his contribution!
Second way I used that book was more passive. In fact, I only recently realized this part influenced me to mix languages. Bob had travelled to a foreign country and taught English. One of his co-workers was a woman who often spoke by including words from her own (Spanish, I believe), which very often sounded hilarious the way Geldof wrote it. I can't recall any examples, but I always chuckled. I think English being my second language, and being surrounded by immigrant family, friends, and neighbors from all over the world in Brooklyn also helped me enjoy and have fun with more languages. Actors Christopher Walken and Barbra Streisand grew up in similar surroundings and have a facility with languages other than English for this reason as well. I think it's fun to mix languages, and I likes my fun!
Thanks fraskin!

I WANNA TAKE THIS TIME TO THANK YOU, DEAR READER :-)
Thank you for reading this. My spidey senses (plus the hundreds of birthday wishes I've received from many of you) assures me that although you may not click on "Like", thereby voicing your visit, you are interested in and enjoying my writing. This means a lot to me, because writing is my medicine and my necessary art. It is also one of my greatest joy. Singing and playing music is most enjoyable in the moment I'm doing them, but since they happen not often and are so much more effort, so often I feel writing is really my primary joy. In fact, it isn't, because if I had to choose one I would definitely not reject or pass up music.
But writing is soooo helpful to me in that it's easy. I always have something nearby upon which to write - to spill the worried contents of my mind out for healing, introspection, co-miser-ation, co-celebration and co-rejoycement!
Yes, I could write a private diary as I did in my angst-filled pre-teen and young adulthood. Heck, I just realized I've kept diaries my entire life! From childhood through my late 20s, early 30s. I lug them from home to home in hopes of someday having them transcribed and archived for private use and publication.
But, getting back to you :-)
I've changed over the years as an artist. Now, most of my processing needs to be public in order for me to do it. I need to share my work. There are very few artforms or writing exercises I engage in privately these days.
Because my writing now isn't complete without someone to read it, you are very important to me. This is why as soon as I click "Send" or "Publish", I feel healed. And why after I've gone too long between blogpublishery, my mind and spirit suffer. We need each other, it seems.
Thank you for being here :-)  

ARTIST INSPIRATION: 5 MOST HELPFUL THINGS
1) Companionship with other artists: Hang out with folks who are actively doing things you are doing. Have a few very close artist friends. The mutual sharing and support is so enriching and valuable!
2) Be gentle with yourself: When you talk to or think of yourself as an artist, do so with the same softness as you'd approach or treat a wounded animal, beloved pet, or child in your life. You'll know you're making progress when it feels embarrassing to you or a politically incorrect phrase like, "Man, this is sooo *gay/lame*!" comes to mind! (Of course you'll release the thought, but the appearance of the thought is a sign of progress. And if you've done enough of this work, you never feel embarrassed or awkward or even creepy, congrats! Give yourself a big ol' self-lovin' pat on the back, ya lucky bastid! I kid, I joke :-)
3) Get help: Find a mentor, join a support group, take a class. Join others. Don't go it alone. Also when you join others, you assist others, by your mere presence if nothing else.
4) Be grateful: Every day try to find something good in every moment, and give thanks for it. The more you give thanks, the more you have to be thankful for, the less complaining you'll do, and the less you'll have to complain about.
5) Record your progress: Keep a journal in which to log your goals and note when they've been accomplished. This can be formal and structured or very casual. Easy methods are Post-It Notes or other papers on your bedroom or office/studio wall, diaries, or, oh, I dunno, bloggery device objectoids? :-)

------IN EVERY ISSUE...

MARCH APPEARANCES

Saturday, March 30, 2013
1pm - 4pm
Soul Acoustic Sessions
(Hosted by Robert Osiris Wildfire
Aiken)
Wired Beans Cafe
301 W Chelten Ave
Philadelphia, PA
No cover charge!

Sunday, March 31, 2013
6:00pm - 9:30pm
$5 Suggested
The META: "Queen Me!" | Female Appreciation Session
(Hosted by Paul S.Frosty Jackson)
Studio 34 Yoga | Healing | Arts
4522 Baltimore Avenue
Philadelphia, PA 19143

Linkery device units: www.cassEndrExavier.com
http://tinyurl.com/CXiTunes
http://tinyurl.com/CXYouTube
http://cdbaby.com/all/cassendre

Thank you for your time.

(c) Copyright 2013 by Cassendre Xavier. Permission granted to share, not sell all or parts of this content. All rights reserved. www.cassEndrExavier.com

Blog archives and subscriptions: http://cassendrexavier.blogspot.com


--
--
--
Make yourself a beautiful day~

Cassendre Xavier (aka Amethyste Rah aka Amrita Waterfalls)
renaissance negresse (musician/writer/visual artist/actress)
http://cassEndrExavier.com

Founder of the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002)
http://WomensWritingSeries.homestead.com

Founder & Director of Philadelphia's Annual Black Women's Arts
Festival (Est. 2003) http://BWAFphilly.homestead.com
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BWAFphilly

Friday, March 15, 2013

Artist Inspiration: Accepting Failures Throughout Life

Don't feel bad if you're still making big mistakes in your life. You are a major production of the Divine. Understand the balance and choose to focus on your success, your ongoing progress, and most important, why you are here (to love and be loved) and why you are working (to give of your gifts).
Focusing on those things will help reduce the effects of your ego, and ease the pain of your so-called failures, thereby further supporting you in hopping back on that wacky ol' horse of life and riding into the sunset of your appreciation of the journey! Ashe y l'chaim!

--
--
--
Make yourself a beautiful day~

Cassendre Xavier (aka Amethyste Rah aka Amrita Waterfalls)
renaissance negresse (musician/writer/visual artist/actress)
http://cassEndrExavier.com

Founder of the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002)
http://WomensWritingSeries.homestead.com

Founder & Director of Philadelphia's Annual Black Women's Arts
Festival (Est. 2003) http://BWAFphilly.homestead.com
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BWAFphilly

The Meaning of "Ashe y L'Chaim"

by Cassendre Xavier

Because I often close my inspirational or jovial writings with "Asht y l'chaim", I thought I'd define those terms for those who may not be familiar (I sense many of my readers do know these terms, but just to be sure!)

Ashe (sometimes spelled "ase") is Yoruba for "and so it is", which is similar to the biblical "Amen".

Y is Spanish for "and".

L'chaim is Hebrew for "to life".

Thanks fer askin'! Well, okay, I know you didn't *ask* per se, but uh, well I just like to be thankful (and annoying)!

And now for some (drumroll, please!)...

MARCH APPEARANCES!!!!

Saturday, March 30, 2013
1pm - 4pm
Soul Acoustic Sessions
(Hosted by Robert Osiris Wildfire
Aiken)
Wired Beans Cafe
301 W Chelten Ave
Philadelphia, PA
No cover charge!

Sunday, March 31, 2013
6:00pm - 9:30pm
$5 Suggested
The META: "Queen Me!" | Female Appreciation Session
(Hosted by Paul S.Frosty Jackson)
Studio 34 Yoga | Healing | Arts
4522 Baltimore Avenue
Philadelphia, PA 19143

Linkery device units: www.cassEndrExavier.com
http://tinyurl.com/CXiTunes
http://tinyurl.com/CXYouTube
http://cdbaby.com/all/cassendre


(c) Copyright 2013 by Cassendre Xavier. Permission granted to share, not sell all or parts of this content. All rights reserved. www.cassEndrExavier.com

Blog archives and subscriptions: http://cassendrexavier.blogspot.com



--
--
--
Make yourself a beautiful day~

Cassendre Xavier (aka Amethyste Rah aka Amrita Waterfalls)
renaissance negresse (musician/writer/visual artist/actress)
http://cassEndrExavier.com

Founder of the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002)
http://WomensWritingSeries.homestead.com

Founder & Director of Philadelphia's Annual Black Women's Arts
Festival (Est. 2003) http://BWAFphilly.homestead.com
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BWAFphilly

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Diary of a renaissance negresse 3/13/13

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

EATINGS
12:15am - 3 bananas
12:30pm - 26 oz green smoothie (spinach, dandelion greens, bananas, green and red seedless grapery units)
1:30pm - 1/2 of a coconut
4:30pm - Stir fried vegs (green cabbage, 2 small red potatoes, beet, onion, garlic, virgin coconut oil, seasoning, salt)
5:15pm - 3 slices vegan cheese, shredded wheat cereal w/soymilk and brown sugar
9:45pm - 1 can tuna packed in water, 1 can garbanzo beans, extra virgin olive oil, seasonings, salt, cayenne peppohr


GOD BLESS THE CHILD THAT'S GOT HER OWN (THAT'S GOT HER OW-OW-OWWWNNNN-THANKYOUVERYMUCHLADIESANDGENTLEMEN!)
When it comes to being gainfully employed again outside the arts sector, I feel like a toddler learning to walk, or like an adult in physical therapy for a significant condition.
I used to be gainfully employed outside of the arts sector, but that was long, long ago, when I was but a wee lass.
That's why I'm getting help. I spent most of the day at a career center, applying for jobs, receiving personalized job leads and one-on-one coachery devices. I felt so much better today than I have in months. I awoke just before 8am, was out of my apartment, and among others who appeared scrubberized and employicated, if you will. (As it were.) It felt good to be on my way to financial independence again. As I often say, economic depression *is* depression. I'm excited to use my skills in new ways, and the help I've been receiving has really boosted my confidence.

FILLING IN GAPS IN MY RESUME
One of the things our employment coaches told us today is to not go more than 6 months without at least a part-time job. Prospective employers regard such activity (or lack thereof) the same way stagnant water is regarded. It isn't enough to answer, when asked what you've been doing for 8 months or a year, "Oh, I've been actively job-searching."
We don't have to wait for our ideal full-time job. We can take a part-time job, and if we have no employment, it's a good idea to do some volunteering.
It's been about 6 months since I've had a "proper" paycheck gig, but I can list various sidegigs as employment (performing, massage, Reiki, angel readings, spiritual counseling), as well as volunteer experience in the form of the babysitting I've been doing three (3) times a week for free. The two (2) "Cassendre Xavier & Friends" concerts I had in Nov 2013 and Mar 2013 also could count as event organizing. The former earned income for the artists and qualifies as employment, and the latter did not, and qualifies as volunteering.
I'm happy to have learned this new skill, as it's been many years since I've known a lot about how to create an effective resume.

I AM THE UNIVERSE: NO RESISTANCE, ONLY CHOICE
I was watching an interview of Lady Gaga by Oprah Winfrey. Oprah asked Gaga a question once posed to her by their good mutual friend Deepak Chopra. And that question was, "Who are you."
After giving it some pause, Gaga answered, "I'm everything. I'm the universe." She proceeded to elaborate that she doesn't see a separation between herself and what she sees around her.
I've also heard Jim Carrey express the same sentiment (about the moment he observed the observer in himself). He realized he wasn't an individual, he was the universe.
I've been thinking about that lately. It's a fairly new concept for me. I didn't grow up with such metaphysical concepts. In my early teens I started studying more esoteric concepts, but, still, I didn't think I was the universe, I thought I was part of the universe.
I've said it before: everyone's prejudiced. We can't all be racist, because if you're of color in a white supremacist society, you have no racial power over another,  but if you have little access to or familiarity with a particular ethnic group, you can potentially be prejudiced. I'm aware I have such thoughts at times, and I try to address, heal, release, and/or transform them when they occur.
Such a thought occurred today when I saw a member of an aforementioned ethic group. I observed it, then immediately was aware of the shame I felt at having had the prejudiced thought.
Recognizing I didn't want the shame, I considered applying this new concept of my being the universe. If, as before, I attribute all "bad" thoughts to some entitity outside of myself (society, usually, or what I often call "the dominant culture"), I feel ashamed and I resist this bad thing.
But I tried on the idea that I created that thought. Okay. Let's say it *is* from me, inside me. If I am the universe, then I am both the yin and the yan, am I not?
As soon as I accepted I was partly this so-called "bad" thing, I came to another point: Choice. Yes, it's my thought. What do I want to do with it? Suddenly, there was no resistance. All shame was gone. Just because it came from me doesn't mean I have to keep it and activate it and empower it and grow it and maximize it. I chose to simply release it. I gave it to the Most High. I asked the angels to take it up to God and transmute it into love and powerful, positive energy. I told the angels to do what they thought was best with it.
And, unlike how I've usually treated my shadow sides, I didn't have to try hard to accept it, love myself despite of it, and "forgive" myself. I just made a choice to give it away. Total acceptance that I am the universe, all lives in me, and I can pick and choose what stays and grows and what doesn't serve me or anyone else. It is a peaceful, empowering calm.

ARTIST INSPIRATION: FEELING SUCCESSFUL NOW
Right now I feel successful because I know I'm doing the best I can. We all are.
If you are struggling to make a better life for yourself, and you feel stuck, go back to your joy. Try to feel happy or at least better.
Sometimes, we look at others and think we are "supposed" to be doing as well as they are, to have all the stability and other things they have. But, remember, it isn't good to compare ourselves to anyone.
You never know what someone else is going through. They may appear to be doing better than you are, but looks can be deceiving. They may be comparing themselves and their accomplishment to yet someone else, and therefore they aren't content, either.
How about we *all* feel successful, huh?
Why don't we take a few minutes every day, recognize how strong we've been in facing our challenges. Let's appreciate our courage and vulnerability. Our perfection as imperfect humyns, being.
You are doing just great! You are powerful, brilliant, sweet, fragile, gifted. The only thing you have to do is breathe and someday die. That's it. It would be ideal if you made it your life's purpose to give and receive as much love as possible while you're here, in as many ways as you can conceive of. But really, that's all we are all here for: to be students of love, which includes courage, faith, and compassion. It includes lots and lots of forgiveness.
If you're an artist and you've moved a lot and had a lot of different jobs, don't feel bad about it. Don't compare yourself to a non-artist executive type who has had a stable, high income and moved few times.
You wouldn't hold it against them that they don't have your artistic gifts, would you?
Never compare. Instead, see yourself as the s/hero of your life. Love and accept and honor yourself no matter what.
Feel successful now :-)  

-------------
IN EVERY ISSUE...

NEW!! MARCH APPEARANCES

Saturday, March 30, 2013
1pm - 4pm
Soul Acoustic Sessions
(Hosted by Robert Osiris Wildfire
Aiken)
Wired Beans Cafe
301 W Chelten Ave
Philadelphia, PA
No cover charge!

Sunday, March 31, 2013
6:00pm - 9:30pm
$5 Suggested
The META: "Queen Me!" | Female Appreciation Session
(Hosted by Paul S.Frosty Jackson)
Studio 34 Yoga | Healing | Arts
4522 Baltimore Avenue
Philadelphia, PA 19143

Linkery device units: www.cassEndrExavier.com
http://tinyurl.com/CXiTunes
http://tinyurl.com/CXYouTube
http://cdbaby.com/all/cassendre

Thank you for your time.

(c) Copyright 2013 by Cassendre Xavier. Permission granted to share, not sell all or parts of this content. All rights reserved. www.cassEndrExavier.com

Blog archives and subscriptions: http://cassendrexavier.blogspot.com


--
--
--
Make yourself a beautiful day~

Cassendre Xavier (aka Amethyste Rah aka Amrita Waterfalls)
renaissance negresse (musician/writer/visual artist/actress)
http://cassEndrExavier.com

Founder of the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002)
http://WomensWritingSeries.homestead.com

Founder & Director of Philadelphia's Annual Black Women's Arts
Festival (Est. 2003) http://BWAFphilly.homestead.com
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BWAFphilly

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Diary of a renaissance negresse 3/12/13

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

EATINGS

10:30am - 32 oz green smoothie (spinach, dandelion greens, bananas, green and red seedless grapery units)
1:15pm - 26 oz green smoothie
2:40pm - 14 oz green smoothie
4:30pm - Stir fried vegs (green cabbage, beet, onion, garlic, virgin coconut oil, seasoning, salt)
7:30pm - corn chips, mild cheddar cheese, fresh coconut


THINKING OUTSIDE THE BOX, CONTINUED...
In response to my asking the career center if they would advocate on my behalf for an entertainment/arts-related opportunity, "We can advocate if it is a partner of ours. For instance we have a partnership with Aramark, if they had some opportunities, we may be able to advocate on your behalf."
I took some time to find out out from my gut/instinct/intuition if I want to get a list of their partners and seek or create opportunities. I was curious enough to do so, and surprisingly found only entertainment company, and a huge one, among them.
I searched their jobs and their application process and found them not a good match for me at this time. I'll do better going a much more direct route.
In fact, quite often I'm gifted with a comical vision of how much easier my life would be if I were more direct about going for what I really wanted. I'd make much more money, meet many more friends, have more compatible love partners, and have a life that worked much better. So funny how difficult we let fear make our lives sometimes. Joy truly is a skill, and I'm being patient with myself as I learn it, laughing along the way with the universal flow, my teacher.

NEW GIGS! NEW VENUES! NEW FANS!
I feel young and coming alive again. Back to the basics of loving my art because it first loved me. Doing what Bradley Cooper says in "Inside the Actors Studio: Bradley Cooper" says turns him on: "Vulnerable expression using an art form".
I am not concerned right now with how to make money with my music. I am reminding myself of why I am a musician. I am not thinking about how to be a big star. I am thinking about how to be of better service, to the muse, to my Source, to my fans, and, at some point, to my songs. I remember hearing Amos Lee talk about how he always wants to "serve the song".

IS THE DESIRE FOR FAME HONORABLE?
There's nothing wrong with wanting celebrity and fame. I'm lucky and blessed to have so many examples of well-employed artists with varying relationships to, and opinions of, celebrity and fame. Some find fame a hindrance, and some thrive on it. Mo'Nique wanted to be a star when she was starting out. Not the best comedian or actress she could be, just famous. Lady Gaga doesn't consider herself a celebrity, she considers herself an artist. Both have very different points of view and both are not only making art for a wide audience of ardent fans, but they've both made a difference in the world, and created social change, helped many increase their self-esteem, and become activists of sorts.
I can decide for myself where and how I want the next leg of my life tour of artistry to go, and be okay with how I want to do the fame thing, no judgment, just love, acceptance, and good times!

THE IMPORTANCE OF SELF-DEFINING SUCCESS
In "Inside the Actors Studio: Bradley Cooper" he talks about how the money and fame do not add one iota to one's life. They don't make life better at all, he said. The only thing that counts, he said, "...is if I can pick up this glass of water and do it authentically." That is so IT. He also said about acting, "When it's working, I could do it for no money, and when it's not working, I'd almost rather do anything else." I could relate to that, and that's in fact why I didn't perform for so long, because for me, "not working" was working for free or playing a small room. But now my priorities have changed. I don't know how long it'll be that way, but for now, I'm sharing my music, and defining for myself what it means to be successful. And, I don't know if I'm being a typical chyk here or not, but I know relationships are very important, and so is providing a stable, exciting, adventurous, and abundant life for myself. Healthy interdependence. That's my Oscar-Grammy-big paycheck of the moment!

WHAT I AM READING
3) I'd Change My Life If I Had More Time: A Practical Guide to Making Dreams Come True, by Doreen Virtue, Ph.D.
2) Free articles at www.orindaben.com
1) My daily bloggings (aka "bloggery objectoids")

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IN EVERY ISSUE...

NEW!! MARCH APPEARANCES

Saturday, March 30, 2013
1pm - 4pm
Soul Acoustic Sessions
Hosted by Robert Osiris Wildfire
Wired Beans Cafe
301 W Chelten Ave
Philadelphia, PA
No cover charge!

Sunday, March 31, 2013
6:00pm - 9:30pm
$5 Suggested
The META: "Queen Me!" | Female Appreciation Session
Hosted by Paul S.Frosty Jackson
Studio 34 Yoga | Healing | Arts
4522 Baltimore Avenue
Philadelphia, PA 19143


Linkery device units: www.cassEndrExavier.com
http://tinyurl.com/CXiTunes
http://tinyurl.com/CXYouTube
http://cdbaby.com/all/cassendre


Thank you for your time.

(c) Copyright 2013 by Cassendre Xavier. Permission granted to share, not sell all or parts of this content. All rights reserved. www.cassEndrExavier.com

Blog archives and subscriptions: http://cassendrexavier.blogspot.com





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--
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Make yourself a beautiful day~

Cassendre Xavier (aka Amethyste Rah aka Amrita Waterfalls)
renaissance negresse (musician/writer/visual artist/actress)
http://cassEndrExavier.com

Founder of the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002)
http://WomensWritingSeries.homestead.com

Founder & Director of Philadelphia's Annual Black Women's Arts
Festival (Est. 2003) http://BWAFphilly.homestead.com
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BWAFphilly

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Diary of a renaissance negresse 3/11/13

Monday, March 11, 2013

EATINGS: TODAY I ENJOYED...

1:20am - 2 packs uncooked ramen noodles, sans salty sauce sachets
10:50am - 32 oz green smoothie (spinach, dandelion greens, Romaine lettuce, bananas, green and red seedless grapery units)
3:15pm - 20 oz green smoothie
4:30pm - Stewed vegetables (green cabbage, beet, carrots, onion, garlic, seasonings, salt, virgin coconut oil), and meatballs; small bowl of Honey Bunches of Oats cereal with Cap n' Crunch cereal in soymilk, 4 traditional Oreo cookies. (You can always tell when I'm babysitting by the less-than-ideal food I eat, such as meat, soy, processed sugars and starches.)


THINKING OUTSIDE THE BOX
I recently signed up with a career center. They have many services including this one: every time you apply for a job, you email the career center and then they advocate on your behalf. Most job applications are done online and are open to the public. Yours often gets lost among the hundreds or thousands that come in. Having an organization make contact for you may take your application out and onto a much smaller pile.
I'd just pitched to an event promoter that I'd like to feature at his venue. After emailing and Facebook messaging him, it occurred to me to contact the career center.
I emailed them and asked if entertainment and arts-related income-earning opportunities count (I was sure to avoid using the word "job" because I didn't want to allow space to discount/disqualify an appearance that would be good for me to do yet not earn direct, immediate income.
I'll probably receive the answer tomorrow. If the answer is yes, that would mean a free-of-cost and totally unconventional booking agent of sorts, and even if the answer is no, I showed I could think on my feet and outside the box.

ARTIST INSPIRATION: THE CREATIONS OF YOUR BLISS *WILL* SUPPORT THEMSELVES
"Worry is the opposite of faith." That's what one of my friends said today.
I feel so happy and blessed because I have faith again in my work! Rather, in my talents and in the security of following my bliss! I am getting over being bitter and jaded about anything whatsoever. In "Chris Rock: Inside the Actors Studio" he says (I'm paraphrasing), "It's my responsibility to get and keep my audience's attention and interest when I'm performing, no matter what happens during my set. If somebody gets shot, and I can't get my audience back, it's my fault. It's never their fault. It's my responsibility to rock it, every time, no matter what."
I realize I'd been blaming my fans for the demise of the record/music business. Ice-T, Emilio Estefan, these entrepreneurs figured out early the classic recording industry model was going extinct, so they went into other avenues, mostly TV and films.
I stopped writing new songs because every time I released an album, it went absolutely nowhere. Emilio Estefan said that even a #1 hit album doesn't sell because people download just that one song, and now it's not even that, so much, it's file-sharing. This is someone who works with Jennifer Lopez, Ricky Martin, Shakira, Marc Anthony.
So, I'm free from needing to know how the record business works right now.
After gigging from 1990 to present, producing community cultural arts events like the Black Women's Arts Festival since 2002, and being burnt out from not making a living from it for a long time, I'm now back to doing what I love for the sake of it, and back to seeking other more enjoyable means of working and earning income to make my life easier along the way.
I believe, as I did when I was first starting out, that when you do what you love, and you follow your bliss, it works out. My bliss's creations will support themselves, and in the meantime, my day jobs will support me.
Ache y l'chaim!


-------------
IN EVERY ISSUE...


NEXT APPEARANCE:
(Music)
Saturday, March 30, 2013
Soul Acoustic Sessions
Address TBA (or message Moi or check my website's "Calendar" page)
Philadelphia, PA
1pm - 4pm

Linkery device units: www.cassEndrExavier.com
http://tinyurl.com/CXiTunes
http://tinyurl.com/CXYouTube
http://cdbaby.com/all/cassendre


Thank you for your time.

(c) Copyright 2013 by Cassendre Xavier. Permission granted to share, not sell all or parts of this content. All rights reserved. www.cassEndrExavier.com

Blog archives and subscriptions: http://cassendrexavier.blogspot.com

--
--
--
Make yourself a beautiful day~

Cassendre Xavier (aka Amethyste Rah aka Amrita Waterfalls)
renaissance negresse (musician/writer/visual artist/actress)
http://cassEndrExavier.com

Founder of the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002)
http://WomensWritingSeries.homestead.com

Founder & Director of Philadelphia's Annual Black Women's Arts
Festival (Est. 2003) http://BWAFphilly.homestead.com
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BWAFphilly

Monday, March 11, 2013

Diary of a renaissance negresse 3/10/13

Sunday, March 10, 2013

EATINGS: TODAY I ENJOYED...

2:00am - 1.5 slice chicken pizza, 3 garlic knots. (Garlic knots are the devil disguised as a sweet, sweet angel. Lawd have mercy!)
3:00pm-4:15pm - (binge-not enjoyed) 1.5 slices chicken pizza, stir-fried vegs (carrots, beet, white cabbage, virgin coconut oil, onion, fresh garlic, seasonings, salt), 1 corn muffin, 6 oz chocolate protein/vitamin/weight-loss drink
8:00pm - 16 oz green smoothie (spinach, dandelion greens, bananas, green and red seedless grapery units)

RE: "TODAY, I ENJOYED..."
Angela Stokes-Monarch used to list what she ate every day this way. I thought I'd try it to help heal my hate-hate relationship with food. As I focus on enjoying everything I put into my mouth, I am making decisions differently, and binging less.

THE PRIVILEGE OF WASTE
I was so upset as I discarded the 1 bunch collards and 4 bunches kale I let go yellow. What a waste of money and good food! Then, I realized, I'm blessed! Blessed to have so much food that some goes to waste. I thought of how rich this country is, and how wasteful. It is certainly not a desired condition to have food go bad, but no one's perfect. We overbuy sometimes, and miscalculate our storage space. In the past I've had enough space to store my food. Once when I shared an apt with a roommate, I even had my own separate, full-size fridge; that was ideal! Now, I not only share one fridge with two roommates, but the fridge is a small one.
Another thought that helped was what Christina (sp?) from Fully Raw says on a YouTube post about how to stay raw. She says to buy a lot of food and to not be afraid of some of it going bad. She says it is produce, after all, it isn't perfect. Some of it will get ripe before you're ready to eat it. So, I feel blessed that I was able to afford to overbuy, overstock, and discard! I'll be more careful next time, but still opt for more rather than less, so as to best support my raw progress!

BLOGGING & FRIENDSHIP
I'm trying to reach a balance between my writing and my regular communications with my friends. It's tricky because I've been using my blogging as substitute friendship, and because one of my major pet peeves is repeating myself I find it very difficult to answer "How are you's." I keep wanting to refer my friends to my blogs. What helps is to only talk about things I don't discuss publicly or blog.

I'D RATHER TALK ABOUT GOD, EVEN IF GOD IS MAKE BELIEVE: TRIPS DOWN THE ATHEIST ROAD
I'm spiritually eclectic, intellectually agnostic, and I have a nerd fetish for atheists, whom I've observed generally tend to be highly intelligent, progressive, and educated in matters of government and politics.
Although I apply some atheist principles in taking charge of my life, including leaving the 12 Step recovery model, I still choose to believe in angels, other spiritual themes, and I love to speak of and be around those who speak of God. I am very attracted to God, even if God may not actually exist. This is because I believe whatever we choose to believe becomes real for us.

ONLY THE SUCCESSFUL HAVE HATERS
There's a "Cassendre Xavier-Haters" profile on Facebook. That, plus the occasional occurrence of my being called a "bitch" by some unprofessional man who is displeased with my directness and/or supposed "rejection", proves I've reached a new level of success as a female artist.
You only get haters after you've attained a high amount of appreciators, and for this I am grateful.  

ANGER, DEPRESSION, AND ARTMAKERY (AKA "ARTMAKAGE", AS IT WERE. IF YOU WILL.)
Being angry I chose not to practice singing before my gig on the 9th. My voice was strained and I realized that even though I reached the notes and was told I sounded good, I hurt my voice by not having it routinely warmed up and stretched. It felt like dry leather, straining and squeaking. I don't want to do that again. And I also forgot lyrics and lost my concentration in strumming and played a wrong chord during "Run to You". Time to practice again, at least twice a week to start.

ARTIST INSPIRATION: YOUR GIFT IS MEANT TO BE GIVEN AWAY
That's what one of my friends says, and it's been very helpful to me as I rediscover my necessary art, and share what I've been so freely given, without need for recompense. It feels very good, and I feel much younger again, lifted further from the much of my bitter and jaded recent point of view.
If you've been wanting to revive your art career, try to remember when you loved it, and why.
I've heard it said that work is how we pay our rent to be alive. I believe using them, total and authentic self-expression is how we repay the Source of our gifts of talent.

ARTIST INSPIRATION: RADICAL SELF-ACCEPTANCE PLUS AUTHENTIC SELF-EXPRESSION EQUALS HEALING FOR MANY
Just a couple of days ago I embarrassingly failed what was to be an extended liquid food fast. It was all very public as I'd blogged the journey, and I was feeling bad about it yesterday. Why can't I stick to a healthy diet? Why must I be so public about what I eat and how I struggle with my eating disorder (old habits)? If I loved myself more, if I had healthy self-esteem, I wouldn't need to post what I eat every day, right? I'd be enough to be accountable to, I wouldn't need an audience. Then, I remembered a YouTube video I'd seen of a woman having a binge. She was sitting on a couch, watching TV and eating, for hours, a massive amount of fast food. It wasn't all laid out at the same time, and she did get up a few times (to get more food). I really related to that, and honestly, it didn't look like that much to me, until I guaged it by what I call "mere mortal" aka average/normal eating standards. And it was indeed way too much for one humyn stomachal reggione.
My point is that woman wasn't filmed by a TV show crew or mean-spirited frenemy. She posted it herself, and wrote a thorough, self-revealing, honest and, most importantly compassionate account of the episode on her journey of healing. That post helped me a lot, at the time, because I met a sister in suffering and mid-transformation. It mirrored me and let me know I wasn't alone. But it continues to give, because now I'm helped by it on another level: it tells me my sharing is okay, healthy, and may be helping others. As much as I was blogging during my very brief and highly flawed so-called "green smoothie/raw juice fast", I always sensed the one thing that resonated the most with my readers was when I binged. Rocky was a hero because of what he went through to be able to run up those art museum steps.

-------------
IN EVERY ISSUE...


NEXT APPEARANCE:
(Music)
Saturday, March 30, 2013
Soul Acoustic Sessions
Address TBA (or message Moi or check my website's "Calendar" page)
Philadelphia, PA
1pm - 4pm

Linkery device units: www.cassEndrExavier.com
http://tinyurl.com/CXiTunes
http://tinyurl.com/CXYouTube
http://cdbaby.com/all/cassendre


Thank you for your time.


(c) Copyright 2013 by Cassendre Xavier. Permission granted to share, not sell all or parts of this content. All rights reserved. www.cassEndrExavier.com

Blog archives and subscriptions: http://cassendrexavier.blogspot.com


--
--
--
Make yourself a beautiful day~

Cassendre Xavier (aka Amethyste Rah aka Amrita Waterfalls)
renaissance negresse (musician/writer/visual artist/actress)
http://cassEndrExavier.com

Founder of the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002)
http://WomensWritingSeries.homestead.com

Founder & Director of Philadelphia's Annual Black Women's Arts
Festival (Est. 2003) http://BWAFphilly.homestead.com
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BWAFphilly

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Diary of a renaissance negresse 3/9/13

Saturday, March 9, 2013

EATINGS

8:40am - 3 uncooked packs of ramen noodle, sans salty sauce sachets

GIG I DID TODAY
Common Grounds Coffee House
with co-bills Kenny ArtNSoul, Ebony Malaika Collier, Angel Hogan, Tracy Mace, and Quincy Stallworth

I enjoyed hearing everyone. Most stimulating and inspiring was Ebony's talk about her painting. Everyone else is doing something I've already done, whereas Ebony's doing what I've dreamt of since my teens.
Nice to meet people. Sold four CDs. Wasn't too disappointed because I didn't have sales as my goal for the evening, just fun, sharing, and community building. Everything else was extra.
Friend said I ought've brought my hand-designed stationery, and that folks would have purchased them. I didn't sense it was a stationery-sales-friendly theme, event, or venue. I stand by my decision, and am on the lookout for places to sell my wares.
Common Grounds is a warm and welcoming community-based coffee house and performance venue. We may be back!

GOD, WORK, AND MUSIC
Messages from the Divine through my friend:
You were God's thought. Your parents didn't make you, they just had sex. God thought of you and made you exactly the way you are, on purpose.
God is a persun. You can talk to God like a persun. God knows what you're going through.
Have sincerity when you talk to God and ask to be shown the truth. Nothing will go right in your life if you're not close with God.
Everyone is gifted. You're no different than anyone else. Remain humble.
Don't be too innocent. Don't be naïve. Sometimes a friend is not your friend-they are jealous of you. Songwriting is a discipline.


NEXT APPEARANCE:
(Music)
Saturday, March 30, 2013
Soul Acoustic Sessions
Address TBA (or message Moi or check my website's "Calendar" page)
Philadelphia, PA
1pm - 4pm

Linkery device units: www.cassEndrExavier.com
http://tinyurl.com/CXiTunes
http://tinyurl.com/CXYouTube
http://cdbaby.com/all/cassendre


Thank you for your time.


(c) Copyright 2013 by Cassendre Xavier. Permission granted to share, not sell all or parts of this content. All rights reserved. www.cassEndrExavier.com

Blog archives and subscriptions: http://cassendrexavier.blogspot.com


--
--
--
Make yourself a beautiful day~

Cassendre Xavier (aka Amethyste Rah aka Amrita Waterfalls)
renaissance negresse (musician/writer/visual artist/actress)
http://cassEndrExavier.com

Founder of the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002)
http://WomensWritingSeries.homestead.com

Founder & Director of Philadelphia's Annual Black Women's Arts
Festival (Est. 2003) http://BWAFphilly.homestead.com
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BWAFphilly

Friday, March 8, 2013

Green Smoothie/Raw Juice Fast Day 14 (End)

Friday, March 8, 2013 (The last day of this fast)

EATINGS

12:15am - binged on 6 oranges
2:00am - 3 oranges
9:30am - 1/4 cup guava jelly
3:00pm - 22 oz green smoothie
4:30pm - 2 soft pretzels, 1 pretzel dog, 2 normal bowls Cap n' Crunch cereal with soymilk
8:30pm - binged on 3 packets Raman noodles (boiled, though I have been known to eat them, cracker-like, right out of their bags)

THE THRILL OF VICTORY
This was a good run. Two (2) weeks of raw vegan liquid and solid foods. Here are my positive accomplishments during this 14 day experience, which is now over:
Lost weight. I didn't get on a scale, but I saw my clothes and rings get looser, felt my plantar fascitis (sp) lighten in intensity, less overall pain, less noseblowage, lower blood pressure (again, I didn't monitor electronically, but by how I felt physicalment), less depressive/melancholic thoughts, improved skin appearance, activated digestive system, mild detoxification, thought about giving up dieting altogether (including fasting), increased readership and interest among my network in raw foods, and more.

THE AGONY OF DEFEAT
Here are my failings: I didn't do a true and consistent liquid raw vegan fast (I ate solids that weren't always raw and kept the title because I was still drinking green smoothies and raw juices as part of my daily meals), I binged regularly, questioned the effectiveness of blogging my stuggles, frequently felt embarrassed about publicly posting my struggles with food.

MONEY: THE CONCLUSION
I realized most successful artist, and I in my better years, don't have as our goal making a lot of money. We never did it for the money.
When I was first starting out I had something to say with my music, and I needed to say it like I needed to breathe. I don't feel like that today, and I haven't in years.
So, I need to get back to a place where I've found my artistic passion again. I do have creative visions and dreams. It's just that they've changed. As I get back in touch with, and clarify them, I realize I do need lots of money to manifest them, and I also can release the angst and the "how" the money will come.
But for now, I'm just focusing on doing what I love again, discovering what I love and what my artistic passions are, and doing them. That's what works.

Thank you for your time.

NEXT APPEARANCE
Saturday, March 9, 2013
Common Grounds Coffee House, Philadelphia, PA
Details:
www.cassendrexavier.com
www.commongroundscoffee.org


IN EVERY ISSUE (FREQUENTLY REVISED)

Fast/Feast Factoids:

*Green smoothies (GS) are fruit and leafy greens in a blender with water.
*Raw vegan juices are made from fruits and vegetables in a juicer, or in some cases, in a blender with water added then the fiber or pulp strained.
*Both green smoothies and raw vegan juices are known to provide many healing and nutritional benefits as well as being low calorie, low fat, and easy to digest.
*A "feast" is like a fast only instead of depriving the body of nutrients, you are flooding it with nutrients.
The digestive system rests while the overall body then heals and detoxes from a long-term exposure to and experience of denatured foods, environmental toxins, emotional traumas, and general misuse.

Benefits are enhanced by:

*Drinking lots of water
*Getting plenty of sleep
*Eating only during daylight hours
*Moderate physical movement and play: dancing, (athletic) sex, sports, yoga, etc.
*Emotional support, sharing struggles and challenges with others; attending raw food potlucks, joining support groups for your personal, career, or lifestyle goals, etc.
*Noting, recording, celebrating, and sharing progress and accomplishments

My Fasting/Feasting Goals:
*Lose weight & create my ideal body
*Reverse high blood pressure/hypertension
*Eliminate compulsive eating and compulsive food behaviors
*Reverse borderline diabetes
*Reverse or manage bipolar disorder and depression
*Increase self-empowerment
*Maintain long-term success with a highly raw vegan lifestyle
*More easily and efficiently finesse my challenges, achieve my ongoing goals and actualize my ongoing dreams
*Inspire others to be dreamy and live healthy!

Cassendre Xavier is an American singer, songwriter, musician, author, actress and fine artist. Her raw herstory:
First tried raw veganism in 1997.
Serious long-term repeated attempts began in 2005.
Worked in food prep at Arnold's Way Raw Vegetarian Cafe and Education Center in Lansdale, PA.
Longest period consecutively 100% raw vegan: 61 days.
Longest green smoothie feast: 8 days.
Longest water fast: 12 days.
Weight previously lost with raw foods: 30lbs (some regained).
Biggest challenges to continued raw-ness: Compulsive eating, childhood sexual abuse issues, mental health and depression issues, chronic under-earning issues, low self-esteem/weak will to succeed in health and career/FEAR, anger and rage issues related to abuse.
I am changing all that... NOW!

Raw Resources:

*CX's "Raw Angel Transformation" and raw food prep videos at http://tinyurl.com/CXYouTube
*CX's "Green Smoothie Raw Blog" archives at MySpace and Blogspot.
*www.arnoldsway.com
*www.rawfoodS.com
*Angela Stokes-Monarch www.rawreform.com
*David Wolfe www.davidwolfe.com
*Philip McCluskey www.LovingRaw.com


(c) Copyright 2013 by Cassendre Xavier. Permission granted to share, not sell all or parts of this content. All rights reserved. www.cassEndrExavier.com

Blog archives and subscriptions: http://cassendrexavier.blogspot.com

--
--
--
Make yourself a beautiful day~

Cassendre Xavier (aka Amethyste Rah aka Amrita Waterfalls)
renaissance negresse (musician/writer/visual artist/actress)
http://cassEndrExavier.com

Founder of the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002)
http://WomensWritingSeries.homestead.com

Founder & Director of Philadelphia's Annual Black Women's Arts
Festival (Est. 2003) http://BWAFphilly.homestead.com
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BWAFphilly