Monday, October 3, 2011

Diary of a renaissance negresse - 03 Oct 2011

Monday, October 3, 2011

I am feeling very good today. Getting lots done. Really healing and connecting with and understanding and being patient with myself and others.

Today is day 5 of a water fast I'm doing to spiritually heal from unhealthy eating habits. I drink water, and I allow myself to drink coffee (highly diluted decaf mostly during the day and evening, regular coffee in the morning to help me not sleep all day due to this highly drowsy-making allergy over the counter drug I'm on temporarily. I also allow myself to put lime or lemon juice in the water I drink all day (usually fresh-squeezed). I also allow myself to chew sugarless gum now and then. I allow myself to do whatever I want. I'm just choosing based on the consequences.

For instance, it is far from ideal to consume the chemicals that make up the artificial sweeteners in the gum I eat. And caffeine is also not good for me.

However, the benefits are:

1) It helps me greatly in avoiding eating anything right now, during my fast.

2) Neither coffee nor artificial sweeteners have any significant nutrients, which is the basic idea behind water fasting. Your body must rely on itself to fuel it. So it starts using your cells, starting with the sick, dying, or excess fat ones. So, I'm losing weight and detoxing as I ought to on a water fast.

3) Coffee and sugarless gum are toxic, so my detox is more gradual, as are the unpleasant detox symptoms. Once I accepted I wasn't "perfectly" doing my water fast - I realized the benefits - including that soon after detoxing, I wouldn't get the painful, and lipline-altering cold sore I always get when I've been 100% raw for a couple of weeks.

So, today and the previous 4 days, I am consuming no, or very low caloric, non-nutritive substances in liquid form only. (Gum is chewed but doesn't go down solid like candy does, so I allow myself gum but not candy, not even sugarless/low or no calorie or nutrition candy.) There are many benefits to this fast, and I just remind myself that even though numbers-wise I want to eventually see 140 or less on the scale, the idea is to: Get Healthy, Get Spiritual, Love and Accept Myself and Others, Be Serene with my Eating, and Live a Joyful, Powerful, Positive, FEARLESS Life!

My plan is to do the water fast for as long as I feel comfortable (people can live up to 60 days or more on water alone), then go to a juice "feast" as us rawheads call it, and then go to a lifelong, and easily maintained habit of eating only raw vegan foods and drinking a large amount of my other nutritive intake. My plan is to learn how to eat right and to get all the support I need to do it. Support group meetings, potlucks, and dining with friends very often will be a large part of my life in the next few months. And writing every day as well as prayer, meditation, reading the books and listening to a lot of very encouraging and healing recordings of my teachers, mentors, and peers is a large part of my healing journey now.

I am writing and keeping my day to day schedule of activities. Making progress in all areas of my life and getting stronger every day. More accepting of others. Praying to God and calling on the constantly available assistance of God's angels.

So grateful to be alive and able to share my journey!

May you be blessed and know it.

Cassendre


Cassendre Xavier is a Haitian-Chinese-American artist, musician, author, actress, and award-winning community cultural arts organizer whose mission in life is to share joy, inspiration, and sensuality through the creative and healing arts. Coining the term *"renaissance negresse" in 2002, and also working under the names "Amethyste Rah" (spirituality and guided meditations http://stores.lulu.com/cassEndrE) and "Amrita Waterfalls" (sexuality and erotica) Xavier is the founder and director of Philadelphia's Annual Black Women’s Arts Festival (Est. 2003 www.BWAFphilly.org) and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002 www.WomensWritingSeries.org). Xavier has been an imperfectly practicing raw vegan since 2005 and is author of the print & ebook Expanding Your Capacity for Joy: a Raw Vegan Comfort Book, Sourcebook & Journal (ARtivist Publications 2009). On September 19, 2011, she celebrated her first year as an ordained interfaith minister. Visit http://cassEndrExavier.com.


*"Negresse, Negre: In the French- and Spanish-speaking Caribbean Islands, these words often have a connotation of affection, entirely non-racial in meaning. `Ma petite negresse, mon negre, are equivalent to `My dear, my darling, my sweet.'" (From Masters of the Dew, a contemporary classic novel by the Haitian author Jacques Roumain, translated by Langston Hughes and Mercer Cook.)


Copyright © 2011 by Cassendre Xavier. All rights reserved. Permission is granted to reprint this article, in part, or in whole, only with the inclusion of the author bio, copyright credit, and contact URL http://cassEndrExavier.com.

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Diary of a renaissance negresse - 02 Oct 2011

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Day 4 of water fast to heal food addiction with spirituality and the raw vegan diet. Lost 10lbs in 4 days. Miracles are already happening. The plan is to detox, get really really dependent on God, and engage all the support systems I've been researching, collecting, and using, from support groups, potlucks, eating with friends, and writing.

Will be very happy to repair my laptop, although going to the library daily and for very limited amounts of time encourages me to publish every day and be concise in my posts.

Have been writing so much, it's amazing. Focusing on making it useful to self and others. Grateful beyond measure.

Every day I pray and breathe and relax and tell myself to calm down and not freak out about anything. One moment at a time...to serenity.

Drinking my food is fine. It's the eventual chewing and learning of moderation that scares and usually tosses me into the inferno of active overeating and out of control eating again. But I remind myself that all is well and I don't have to think about anything but the next 5 minutes and all the love and power available at my disposal of mere thought, acceptance, surrender, and community.

Highlight: I weigh 203. I started at 238.
Friday people I know from the early 2000s said I've lost a lot of weight. I didn't think so, but then I saw my journal from 2009 and I weighed 230 then. This means that even thought I have 60lbs to lost, I can honor and see that I did lose 30lb in the last few years.

Again - grateful beyond measure.

Sorry for any typos. No time to proof :-)

Enjoy your week and see you tomorrow if I stay on my plan and I will ;-)

Blessings abounding in thyself,

Cassendre



Cassendre Xavier is a Haitian-Chinese-American artist, musician, author, actress, and award-winning community cultural arts organizer whose mission in life is to share joy, inspiration, and sensuality through the creative and healing arts. Coining the term *"renaissance negresse" in 2002, and also working under the names "Amethyste Rah" (spirituality and guided meditations http://stores.lulu.com/cassEndrE) and "Amrita Waterfalls" (sexuality and erotica) Xavier is the founder and director of Philadelphia's Annual Black Women’s Arts Festival (Est. 2003 www.BWAFphilly.org) and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002 www.WomensWritingSeries.org). Xavier has been an imperfectly practicing raw vegan since 2005 and is author of the print & ebook Expanding Your Capacity for Joy: a Raw Vegan Comfort Book, Sourcebook & Journal (ARtivist Publications 2009). On September 19, 2011, she celebrated her first year as an ordained interfaith minister. Visit http://cassEndrExavier.com.


*"Negresse, Negre: In the French- and Spanish-speaking Caribbean Islands, these words often have a connotation of affection, entirely non-racial in meaning. `Ma petite negresse, mon negre, are equivalent to `My dear, my darling, my sweet.'" (From Masters of the Dew, a contemporary classic novel by the Haitian author Jacques Roumain, translated by Langston Hughes and Mercer Cook.)


Copyright © 2011 by Cassendre Xavier. All rights reserved. Permission is granted to reprint this article, in part, or in whole, only with the inclusion of the author bio, copyright credit, and contact URL http://cassEndrExavier.com.

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Diary of a renaissance negresse - 01 Oct 2011

Saturday, October 1, 2011

A good day starts with a smile knowing that rent will be paid! Ran lots of errands today - totally on schedule. Amazing. I write I want to be at the post office at 1:50pm and I arrive at the post office exactly at 1:50pm. You'd think because scheduling my days works so well for me that I'd have been doing it since I discovered that benefit years ago and would still do it everyday. Only increasing self-care has made this a more regular habit for me. And writing this blog, which I just started three days ago but has been helping me a lot.
I am so affected by what I write - it's so easy to co-create with the universe what I want when I write things down. That's why I started a novel for myself a couple of months ago. It has no form, and it changes all the time in style. It's probably terrible, but I don't care, because I'm writing it for myself. I'm writing the dreams I've been wanting to womanifest, and I'm writing a world I want see and live in. I'm writing my life. That's all that matters. I want to see if it works.
I've noticed that some novelists write a beautiful fictional story, probably choosing a heroine they identify with. They give this imagined creature all their dreams and make them come true. Then, a few years after the publication of the novel, many of these things have occurred in the novelist's "actual" life.
One of the featured artist's of Philadelphia's 8th Annual Black Women's Arts Festival (http://BWAFphilly.org), Kendra, whose band is "Vie Boheme" said our dreams are just like our waking life. There is no separation or difference. I love that idea. Grace Jones said "Whatever I dream, I want to do." And she does it. Why not?
So that's what I've been doing - blending the line between my dreams and my waking life. I was very inspired by that talk I had with Kendra.

What are your dreams? Are you writing them down? Because, that's a huge part of making them happen! Here - let me help you :-)


My Dreams Are To:

1)_____________________________________________________

2)_____________________________________________________

3)_____________________________________________________

4)_____________________________________________________

5)_____________________________________________________



(I stopped at 5 because that's the number of change, according to general numerology. You can continue to 8, which is the number of prosperity :-)



What can you start doing right now, and every day, to begin blending the fake/so-called "line" between your night dreams, your day dreams, and your so-called "actual" "waking life"?


I Could:

1)_____________________________________________________

2)_____________________________________________________

3)_____________________________________________________

4)_____________________________________________________

5)_____________________________________________________


Helpful Hint: Get yourself a journal that you keep your spiritual daily writings and/or dreams and goals in. Or get several for several different purposes. But if having just one means you'll write every day, no matter how little, and no matter for what purpose, start there. You be as simple in your choice as a single-subject notebook, all the way up to a very fancy journal. It's better if it's lightweight and easily portable.

I myself have many different notebooks for different purposes. I have many single-subject notebooks for my various works in progress and journals, then I have a small but thick fancy leather one I write other people's quotes in, and I have my one and only "Dreamer's Journal" by Paula White (http://PaulaWhite.org) which I saw in one of her newsletters or mailings and ordered for dirt-ass cheap at Amazon! I highly recommend it regardless of your spiritual or religious faith, just because it's highly motivating, and you can always enjoy what you put into it rather than read every page of the quotes, etc. Because she is a Christian minister, it does include a passage of biblical scripture on every page, but what's perhaps even more valuable - at least to me, is that every other page also has an original, highly motivating quote by Paula herself. Check it ooot!


May sunshine have its way with you today and every day.
Make the art and be happy.

Cassendre



Cassendre Xavier is a Haitian-Chinese-American artist, musician, author, actress, and award-winning community cultural arts organizer whose mission in life is to share joy, inspiration, and sensuality through the creative and healing arts. Coining the term *"renaissance negresse" in 2002, and also working under the names "Amethyste Rah" (spirituality and guided meditations http://stores.lulu.com/cassEndrE) and "Amrita Waterfalls" (sexuality and erotica) Xavier is the founder and director of Philadelphia's Annual Black Women’s Arts Festival (Est. 2003 www.BWAFphilly.org) and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002 www.WomensWritingSeries.org). Xavier has been an imperfectly practicing raw vegan since 2005 and is author of the print & ebook Expanding Your Capacity for Joy: a Raw Vegan Comfort Book, Sourcebook & Journal (ARtivist Publications 2009). On September 19, 2011, she celebrated her first year as an ordained interfaith minister. Visit http://cassEndrExavier.com.


*"Negresse, Negre: In the French- and Spanish-speaking Caribbean Islands, these words often have a connotation of affection, entirely non-racial in meaning. `Ma petite negresse, mon negre, are equivalent to `My dear, my darling, my sweet.'" (From Masters of the Dew, a contemporary classic novel by the Haitian author Jacques Roumain, translated by Langston Hughes and Mercer Cook.)


Copyright © 2011 by Cassendre Xavier. All rights reserved. Permission is granted to reprint this article, in part, or in whole, only with the inclusion of the author bio, copyright credit, and contact URL http://cassEndrExavier.com.