Sunday, October 2, 2011
Day 4 of water fast to heal food addiction with spirituality and the raw vegan diet. Lost 10lbs in 4 days. Miracles are already happening. The plan is to detox, get really really dependent on God, and engage all the support systems I've been researching, collecting, and using, from support groups, potlucks, eating with friends, and writing.
Will be very happy to repair my laptop, although going to the library daily and for very limited amounts of time encourages me to publish every day and be concise in my posts.
Have been writing so much, it's amazing. Focusing on making it useful to self and others. Grateful beyond measure.
Every day I pray and breathe and relax and tell myself to calm down and not freak out about anything. One moment at a time...to serenity.
Drinking my food is fine. It's the eventual chewing and learning of moderation that scares and usually tosses me into the inferno of active overeating and out of control eating again. But I remind myself that all is well and I don't have to think about anything but the next 5 minutes and all the love and power available at my disposal of mere thought, acceptance, surrender, and community.
Highlight: I weigh 203. I started at 238.
Friday people I know from the early 2000s said I've lost a lot of weight. I didn't think so, but then I saw my journal from 2009 and I weighed 230 then. This means that even thought I have 60lbs to lost, I can honor and see that I did lose 30lb in the last few years.
Again - grateful beyond measure.
Sorry for any typos. No time to proof :-)
Enjoy your week and see you tomorrow if I stay on my plan and I will ;-)
Blessings abounding in thyself,
Cassendre
Cassendre Xavier is a Haitian-Chinese-American artist, musician, author, actress, and award-winning community cultural arts organizer whose mission in life is to share joy, inspiration, and sensuality through the creative and healing arts. Coining the term *"renaissance negresse" in 2002, and also working under the names "Amethyste Rah" (spirituality and guided meditations http://stores.lulu.com/cassEndrE) and "Amrita Waterfalls" (sexuality and erotica) Xavier is the founder and director of Philadelphia's Annual Black Women’s Arts Festival (Est. 2003 www.BWAFphilly.org) and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002 www.WomensWritingSeries.org). Xavier has been an imperfectly practicing raw vegan since 2005 and is author of the print & ebook Expanding Your Capacity for Joy: a Raw Vegan Comfort Book, Sourcebook & Journal (ARtivist Publications 2009). On September 19, 2011, she celebrated her first year as an ordained interfaith minister. Visit http://cassEndrExavier.com.
*"Negresse, Negre: In the French- and Spanish-speaking Caribbean Islands, these words often have a connotation of affection, entirely non-racial in meaning. `Ma petite negresse, mon negre, are equivalent to `My dear, my darling, my sweet.'" (From Masters of the Dew, a contemporary classic novel by the Haitian author Jacques Roumain, translated by Langston Hughes and Mercer Cook.)
Copyright © 2011 by Cassendre Xavier. All rights reserved. Permission is granted to reprint this article, in part, or in whole, only with the inclusion of the author bio, copyright credit, and contact URL http://cassEndrExavier.com.
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