Monday, October 3, 2011
I am feeling very good today. Getting lots done. Really healing and connecting with and understanding and being patient with myself and others.
Today is day 5 of a water fast I'm doing to spiritually heal from unhealthy eating habits. I drink water, and I allow myself to drink coffee (highly diluted decaf mostly during the day and evening, regular coffee in the morning to help me not sleep all day due to this highly drowsy-making allergy over the counter drug I'm on temporarily. I also allow myself to put lime or lemon juice in the water I drink all day (usually fresh-squeezed). I also allow myself to chew sugarless gum now and then. I allow myself to do whatever I want. I'm just choosing based on the consequences.
For instance, it is far from ideal to consume the chemicals that make up the artificial sweeteners in the gum I eat. And caffeine is also not good for me.
However, the benefits are:
1) It helps me greatly in avoiding eating anything right now, during my fast.
2) Neither coffee nor artificial sweeteners have any significant nutrients, which is the basic idea behind water fasting. Your body must rely on itself to fuel it. So it starts using your cells, starting with the sick, dying, or excess fat ones. So, I'm losing weight and detoxing as I ought to on a water fast.
3) Coffee and sugarless gum are toxic, so my detox is more gradual, as are the unpleasant detox symptoms. Once I accepted I wasn't "perfectly" doing my water fast - I realized the benefits - including that soon after detoxing, I wouldn't get the painful, and lipline-altering cold sore I always get when I've been 100% raw for a couple of weeks.
So, today and the previous 4 days, I am consuming no, or very low caloric, non-nutritive substances in liquid form only. (Gum is chewed but doesn't go down solid like candy does, so I allow myself gum but not candy, not even sugarless/low or no calorie or nutrition candy.) There are many benefits to this fast, and I just remind myself that even though numbers-wise I want to eventually see 140 or less on the scale, the idea is to: Get Healthy, Get Spiritual, Love and Accept Myself and Others, Be Serene with my Eating, and Live a Joyful, Powerful, Positive, FEARLESS Life!
My plan is to do the water fast for as long as I feel comfortable (people can live up to 60 days or more on water alone), then go to a juice "feast" as us rawheads call it, and then go to a lifelong, and easily maintained habit of eating only raw vegan foods and drinking a large amount of my other nutritive intake. My plan is to learn how to eat right and to get all the support I need to do it. Support group meetings, potlucks, and dining with friends very often will be a large part of my life in the next few months. And writing every day as well as prayer, meditation, reading the books and listening to a lot of very encouraging and healing recordings of my teachers, mentors, and peers is a large part of my healing journey now.
I am writing and keeping my day to day schedule of activities. Making progress in all areas of my life and getting stronger every day. More accepting of others. Praying to God and calling on the constantly available assistance of God's angels.
So grateful to be alive and able to share my journey!
May you be blessed and know it.
Cassendre
Cassendre Xavier is a Haitian-Chinese-American artist, musician, author, actress, and award-winning community cultural arts organizer whose mission in life is to share joy, inspiration, and sensuality through the creative and healing arts. Coining the term *"renaissance negresse" in 2002, and also working under the names "Amethyste Rah" (spirituality and guided meditations http://stores.lulu.com/cassEndrE) and "Amrita Waterfalls" (sexuality and erotica) Xavier is the founder and director of Philadelphia's Annual Black Women’s Arts Festival (Est. 2003 www.BWAFphilly.org) and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002 www.WomensWritingSeries.org). Xavier has been an imperfectly practicing raw vegan since 2005 and is author of the print & ebook Expanding Your Capacity for Joy: a Raw Vegan Comfort Book, Sourcebook & Journal (ARtivist Publications 2009). On September 19, 2011, she celebrated her first year as an ordained interfaith minister. Visit http://cassEndrExavier.com.
*"Negresse, Negre: In the French- and Spanish-speaking Caribbean Islands, these words often have a connotation of affection, entirely non-racial in meaning. `Ma petite negresse, mon negre, are equivalent to `My dear, my darling, my sweet.'" (From Masters of the Dew, a contemporary classic novel by the Haitian author Jacques Roumain, translated by Langston Hughes and Mercer Cook.)
Copyright © 2011 by Cassendre Xavier. All rights reserved. Permission is granted to reprint this article, in part, or in whole, only with the inclusion of the author bio, copyright credit, and contact URL http://cassEndrExavier.com.
Monday, October 3, 2011
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Diary of a renaissance negresse - 02 Oct 2011
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Day 4 of water fast to heal food addiction with spirituality and the raw vegan diet. Lost 10lbs in 4 days. Miracles are already happening. The plan is to detox, get really really dependent on God, and engage all the support systems I've been researching, collecting, and using, from support groups, potlucks, eating with friends, and writing.
Will be very happy to repair my laptop, although going to the library daily and for very limited amounts of time encourages me to publish every day and be concise in my posts.
Have been writing so much, it's amazing. Focusing on making it useful to self and others. Grateful beyond measure.
Every day I pray and breathe and relax and tell myself to calm down and not freak out about anything. One moment at a time...to serenity.
Drinking my food is fine. It's the eventual chewing and learning of moderation that scares and usually tosses me into the inferno of active overeating and out of control eating again. But I remind myself that all is well and I don't have to think about anything but the next 5 minutes and all the love and power available at my disposal of mere thought, acceptance, surrender, and community.
Highlight: I weigh 203. I started at 238.
Friday people I know from the early 2000s said I've lost a lot of weight. I didn't think so, but then I saw my journal from 2009 and I weighed 230 then. This means that even thought I have 60lbs to lost, I can honor and see that I did lose 30lb in the last few years.
Again - grateful beyond measure.
Sorry for any typos. No time to proof :-)
Enjoy your week and see you tomorrow if I stay on my plan and I will ;-)
Blessings abounding in thyself,
Cassendre
Cassendre Xavier is a Haitian-Chinese-American artist, musician, author, actress, and award-winning community cultural arts organizer whose mission in life is to share joy, inspiration, and sensuality through the creative and healing arts. Coining the term *"renaissance negresse" in 2002, and also working under the names "Amethyste Rah" (spirituality and guided meditations http://stores.lulu.com/cassEndrE) and "Amrita Waterfalls" (sexuality and erotica) Xavier is the founder and director of Philadelphia's Annual Black Women’s Arts Festival (Est. 2003 www.BWAFphilly.org) and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002 www.WomensWritingSeries.org). Xavier has been an imperfectly practicing raw vegan since 2005 and is author of the print & ebook Expanding Your Capacity for Joy: a Raw Vegan Comfort Book, Sourcebook & Journal (ARtivist Publications 2009). On September 19, 2011, she celebrated her first year as an ordained interfaith minister. Visit http://cassEndrExavier.com.
*"Negresse, Negre: In the French- and Spanish-speaking Caribbean Islands, these words often have a connotation of affection, entirely non-racial in meaning. `Ma petite negresse, mon negre, are equivalent to `My dear, my darling, my sweet.'" (From Masters of the Dew, a contemporary classic novel by the Haitian author Jacques Roumain, translated by Langston Hughes and Mercer Cook.)
Copyright © 2011 by Cassendre Xavier. All rights reserved. Permission is granted to reprint this article, in part, or in whole, only with the inclusion of the author bio, copyright credit, and contact URL http://cassEndrExavier.com.
Day 4 of water fast to heal food addiction with spirituality and the raw vegan diet. Lost 10lbs in 4 days. Miracles are already happening. The plan is to detox, get really really dependent on God, and engage all the support systems I've been researching, collecting, and using, from support groups, potlucks, eating with friends, and writing.
Will be very happy to repair my laptop, although going to the library daily and for very limited amounts of time encourages me to publish every day and be concise in my posts.
Have been writing so much, it's amazing. Focusing on making it useful to self and others. Grateful beyond measure.
Every day I pray and breathe and relax and tell myself to calm down and not freak out about anything. One moment at a time...to serenity.
Drinking my food is fine. It's the eventual chewing and learning of moderation that scares and usually tosses me into the inferno of active overeating and out of control eating again. But I remind myself that all is well and I don't have to think about anything but the next 5 minutes and all the love and power available at my disposal of mere thought, acceptance, surrender, and community.
Highlight: I weigh 203. I started at 238.
Friday people I know from the early 2000s said I've lost a lot of weight. I didn't think so, but then I saw my journal from 2009 and I weighed 230 then. This means that even thought I have 60lbs to lost, I can honor and see that I did lose 30lb in the last few years.
Again - grateful beyond measure.
Sorry for any typos. No time to proof :-)
Enjoy your week and see you tomorrow if I stay on my plan and I will ;-)
Blessings abounding in thyself,
Cassendre
Cassendre Xavier is a Haitian-Chinese-American artist, musician, author, actress, and award-winning community cultural arts organizer whose mission in life is to share joy, inspiration, and sensuality through the creative and healing arts. Coining the term *"renaissance negresse" in 2002, and also working under the names "Amethyste Rah" (spirituality and guided meditations http://stores.lulu.com/cassEndrE) and "Amrita Waterfalls" (sexuality and erotica) Xavier is the founder and director of Philadelphia's Annual Black Women’s Arts Festival (Est. 2003 www.BWAFphilly.org) and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002 www.WomensWritingSeries.org). Xavier has been an imperfectly practicing raw vegan since 2005 and is author of the print & ebook Expanding Your Capacity for Joy: a Raw Vegan Comfort Book, Sourcebook & Journal (ARtivist Publications 2009). On September 19, 2011, she celebrated her first year as an ordained interfaith minister. Visit http://cassEndrExavier.com.
*"Negresse, Negre: In the French- and Spanish-speaking Caribbean Islands, these words often have a connotation of affection, entirely non-racial in meaning. `Ma petite negresse, mon negre, are equivalent to `My dear, my darling, my sweet.'" (From Masters of the Dew, a contemporary classic novel by the Haitian author Jacques Roumain, translated by Langston Hughes and Mercer Cook.)
Copyright © 2011 by Cassendre Xavier. All rights reserved. Permission is granted to reprint this article, in part, or in whole, only with the inclusion of the author bio, copyright credit, and contact URL http://cassEndrExavier.com.
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Diary of a renaissance negresse - 01 Oct 2011
Saturday, October 1, 2011
A good day starts with a smile knowing that rent will be paid! Ran lots of errands today - totally on schedule. Amazing. I write I want to be at the post office at 1:50pm and I arrive at the post office exactly at 1:50pm. You'd think because scheduling my days works so well for me that I'd have been doing it since I discovered that benefit years ago and would still do it everyday. Only increasing self-care has made this a more regular habit for me. And writing this blog, which I just started three days ago but has been helping me a lot.
I am so affected by what I write - it's so easy to co-create with the universe what I want when I write things down. That's why I started a novel for myself a couple of months ago. It has no form, and it changes all the time in style. It's probably terrible, but I don't care, because I'm writing it for myself. I'm writing the dreams I've been wanting to womanifest, and I'm writing a world I want see and live in. I'm writing my life. That's all that matters. I want to see if it works.
I've noticed that some novelists write a beautiful fictional story, probably choosing a heroine they identify with. They give this imagined creature all their dreams and make them come true. Then, a few years after the publication of the novel, many of these things have occurred in the novelist's "actual" life.
One of the featured artist's of Philadelphia's 8th Annual Black Women's Arts Festival (http://BWAFphilly.org), Kendra, whose band is "Vie Boheme" said our dreams are just like our waking life. There is no separation or difference. I love that idea. Grace Jones said "Whatever I dream, I want to do." And she does it. Why not?
So that's what I've been doing - blending the line between my dreams and my waking life. I was very inspired by that talk I had with Kendra.
What are your dreams? Are you writing them down? Because, that's a huge part of making them happen! Here - let me help you :-)
My Dreams Are To:
1)_____________________________________________________
2)_____________________________________________________
3)_____________________________________________________
4)_____________________________________________________
5)_____________________________________________________
(I stopped at 5 because that's the number of change, according to general numerology. You can continue to 8, which is the number of prosperity :-)
What can you start doing right now, and every day, to begin blending the fake/so-called "line" between your night dreams, your day dreams, and your so-called "actual" "waking life"?
I Could:
1)_____________________________________________________
2)_____________________________________________________
3)_____________________________________________________
4)_____________________________________________________
5)_____________________________________________________
Helpful Hint: Get yourself a journal that you keep your spiritual daily writings and/or dreams and goals in. Or get several for several different purposes. But if having just one means you'll write every day, no matter how little, and no matter for what purpose, start there. You be as simple in your choice as a single-subject notebook, all the way up to a very fancy journal. It's better if it's lightweight and easily portable.
I myself have many different notebooks for different purposes. I have many single-subject notebooks for my various works in progress and journals, then I have a small but thick fancy leather one I write other people's quotes in, and I have my one and only "Dreamer's Journal" by Paula White (http://PaulaWhite.org) which I saw in one of her newsletters or mailings and ordered for dirt-ass cheap at Amazon! I highly recommend it regardless of your spiritual or religious faith, just because it's highly motivating, and you can always enjoy what you put into it rather than read every page of the quotes, etc. Because she is a Christian minister, it does include a passage of biblical scripture on every page, but what's perhaps even more valuable - at least to me, is that every other page also has an original, highly motivating quote by Paula herself. Check it ooot!
May sunshine have its way with you today and every day.
Make the art and be happy.
Cassendre
Cassendre Xavier is a Haitian-Chinese-American artist, musician, author, actress, and award-winning community cultural arts organizer whose mission in life is to share joy, inspiration, and sensuality through the creative and healing arts. Coining the term *"renaissance negresse" in 2002, and also working under the names "Amethyste Rah" (spirituality and guided meditations http://stores.lulu.com/cassEndrE) and "Amrita Waterfalls" (sexuality and erotica) Xavier is the founder and director of Philadelphia's Annual Black Women’s Arts Festival (Est. 2003 www.BWAFphilly.org) and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002 www.WomensWritingSeries.org). Xavier has been an imperfectly practicing raw vegan since 2005 and is author of the print & ebook Expanding Your Capacity for Joy: a Raw Vegan Comfort Book, Sourcebook & Journal (ARtivist Publications 2009). On September 19, 2011, she celebrated her first year as an ordained interfaith minister. Visit http://cassEndrExavier.com.
*"Negresse, Negre: In the French- and Spanish-speaking Caribbean Islands, these words often have a connotation of affection, entirely non-racial in meaning. `Ma petite negresse, mon negre, are equivalent to `My dear, my darling, my sweet.'" (From Masters of the Dew, a contemporary classic novel by the Haitian author Jacques Roumain, translated by Langston Hughes and Mercer Cook.)
Copyright © 2011 by Cassendre Xavier. All rights reserved. Permission is granted to reprint this article, in part, or in whole, only with the inclusion of the author bio, copyright credit, and contact URL http://cassEndrExavier.com.
A good day starts with a smile knowing that rent will be paid! Ran lots of errands today - totally on schedule. Amazing. I write I want to be at the post office at 1:50pm and I arrive at the post office exactly at 1:50pm. You'd think because scheduling my days works so well for me that I'd have been doing it since I discovered that benefit years ago and would still do it everyday. Only increasing self-care has made this a more regular habit for me. And writing this blog, which I just started three days ago but has been helping me a lot.
I am so affected by what I write - it's so easy to co-create with the universe what I want when I write things down. That's why I started a novel for myself a couple of months ago. It has no form, and it changes all the time in style. It's probably terrible, but I don't care, because I'm writing it for myself. I'm writing the dreams I've been wanting to womanifest, and I'm writing a world I want see and live in. I'm writing my life. That's all that matters. I want to see if it works.
I've noticed that some novelists write a beautiful fictional story, probably choosing a heroine they identify with. They give this imagined creature all their dreams and make them come true. Then, a few years after the publication of the novel, many of these things have occurred in the novelist's "actual" life.
One of the featured artist's of Philadelphia's 8th Annual Black Women's Arts Festival (http://BWAFphilly.org), Kendra, whose band is "Vie Boheme" said our dreams are just like our waking life. There is no separation or difference. I love that idea. Grace Jones said "Whatever I dream, I want to do." And she does it. Why not?
So that's what I've been doing - blending the line between my dreams and my waking life. I was very inspired by that talk I had with Kendra.
What are your dreams? Are you writing them down? Because, that's a huge part of making them happen! Here - let me help you :-)
My Dreams Are To:
1)_____________________________________________________
2)_____________________________________________________
3)_____________________________________________________
4)_____________________________________________________
5)_____________________________________________________
(I stopped at 5 because that's the number of change, according to general numerology. You can continue to 8, which is the number of prosperity :-)
What can you start doing right now, and every day, to begin blending the fake/so-called "line" between your night dreams, your day dreams, and your so-called "actual" "waking life"?
I Could:
1)_____________________________________________________
2)_____________________________________________________
3)_____________________________________________________
4)_____________________________________________________
5)_____________________________________________________
Helpful Hint: Get yourself a journal that you keep your spiritual daily writings and/or dreams and goals in. Or get several for several different purposes. But if having just one means you'll write every day, no matter how little, and no matter for what purpose, start there. You be as simple in your choice as a single-subject notebook, all the way up to a very fancy journal. It's better if it's lightweight and easily portable.
I myself have many different notebooks for different purposes. I have many single-subject notebooks for my various works in progress and journals, then I have a small but thick fancy leather one I write other people's quotes in, and I have my one and only "Dreamer's Journal" by Paula White (http://PaulaWhite.org) which I saw in one of her newsletters or mailings and ordered for dirt-ass cheap at Amazon! I highly recommend it regardless of your spiritual or religious faith, just because it's highly motivating, and you can always enjoy what you put into it rather than read every page of the quotes, etc. Because she is a Christian minister, it does include a passage of biblical scripture on every page, but what's perhaps even more valuable - at least to me, is that every other page also has an original, highly motivating quote by Paula herself. Check it ooot!
May sunshine have its way with you today and every day.
Make the art and be happy.
Cassendre
Cassendre Xavier is a Haitian-Chinese-American artist, musician, author, actress, and award-winning community cultural arts organizer whose mission in life is to share joy, inspiration, and sensuality through the creative and healing arts. Coining the term *"renaissance negresse" in 2002, and also working under the names "Amethyste Rah" (spirituality and guided meditations http://stores.lulu.com/cassEndrE) and "Amrita Waterfalls" (sexuality and erotica) Xavier is the founder and director of Philadelphia's Annual Black Women’s Arts Festival (Est. 2003 www.BWAFphilly.org) and the Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series (Est. 2002 www.WomensWritingSeries.org). Xavier has been an imperfectly practicing raw vegan since 2005 and is author of the print & ebook Expanding Your Capacity for Joy: a Raw Vegan Comfort Book, Sourcebook & Journal (ARtivist Publications 2009). On September 19, 2011, she celebrated her first year as an ordained interfaith minister. Visit http://cassEndrExavier.com.
*"Negresse, Negre: In the French- and Spanish-speaking Caribbean Islands, these words often have a connotation of affection, entirely non-racial in meaning. `Ma petite negresse, mon negre, are equivalent to `My dear, my darling, my sweet.'" (From Masters of the Dew, a contemporary classic novel by the Haitian author Jacques Roumain, translated by Langston Hughes and Mercer Cook.)
Copyright © 2011 by Cassendre Xavier. All rights reserved. Permission is granted to reprint this article, in part, or in whole, only with the inclusion of the author bio, copyright credit, and contact URL http://cassEndrExavier.com.
Friday, September 30, 2011
Diary of a renaissance negresse - 30 Sept 2011
Friday, September 30, 2011
Hello, dear reader!
Happy "Ask a Stupid Question Day" and "Hug a Vegetarian Day"! (Real, Wacky Holidays courtesy of http://brownielocks.com)
I am $39 away from making my rent, whoo-hoo!!! SOOO happy and relieved. It also feels sooo good to have taken a step towards my goal of finding a good job, rather than just taking notes and networking with folks about leads. I went to Careerlink yesterday and made an appointment for an orientation. My friend S. said they "hooked him up" which his current job, which is how I met him recently. I walked up to the kiosk of the internet company he works for and asked if they were hiring. Somehow (he saw my guitar case) we ended up talking about music (he's a musician, too, and has his own indie record label), and flirting (because that's just how we do ;-) and I went to one of the two open mics that he hosts, where I kicked ASS and sold not a single CD but he did give me twenty bucks so all was not lost.I also met some really nice folks there. But I was pissed and bitter as hell. Where else does one work for free?
Anyhoo, this ain't sposed to be "bitterfest" :-)
Anyway, the joy is improving and expanding.
For the last couple of days I've been thinking about my stationery I used to make for fun and profit. Then today my friend S. in Alburque, who had ordered them before, asked if I had any more of my self-mailing cardstock letters. So, now I'll be making 12 for her to order. Funny thing, that, because my friend M, who had also ordered them before, said he used them only for himself, right? So I ask S. how she uses them - she writes them to HERSELF every year for Rosh Hashannah! My friend M is also Jewish, so I sent him a copy of that text message. Longstoryshort, this bitch is getting her groove back, baby! (Never let it be said.)
So where am I, you ask? I'm at yet another public library, because on Fridays, they're all closed at 5pm or earlier, and my illustrious busking occurrifies (aka "occurriates" from 3-6pm. Since I'm committed to trying out this here new daily blog thing, it became apparent, I'd have to gets my writing and posting needs met in hours before my busking shift.
So, all for now. As much as I'd love to sit and jibber jabber with you good people all day, I've got lots of nifty newsletters of some of my favorite artists and writers, and other documents to print at 7 cents a page, rather than the astronomical quarter of a dollar that the Free Library charges. Why, the noive :-)
Quick facts:
Laptop crashed on July 31st, hence my using other equipment til mine is repaired.
I'm on the 2nd day of a water fast.
I'm very grateful for all the wonderful things in my life, including you, fine reader!
In art and community,
Cassendre
Cassendre Xavier is a musician, author, and community cultural arts organizer whose mission in life is to share joy, inspiration, and sensuality through the creative and healing arts. She is the founder and director of the Black Women’s Arts Festival, and has been an imperfectly practicing raw vegan since 2005. On September 19, 2011, Cassendre celebrated her first year as an ordained interfaith minister. Visit http://cassEndrExavier.com.
Copyright © 2011 by Cassendre Xavier. All rights reserved. Permission is granted to reprint this article, in part, or in whole, only with the inclusion of the author bio, copyright credit, and contact URL http://cassEndrExavier.com.
Hello, dear reader!
Happy "Ask a Stupid Question Day" and "Hug a Vegetarian Day"! (Real, Wacky Holidays courtesy of http://brownielocks.com)
I am $39 away from making my rent, whoo-hoo!!! SOOO happy and relieved. It also feels sooo good to have taken a step towards my goal of finding a good job, rather than just taking notes and networking with folks about leads. I went to Careerlink yesterday and made an appointment for an orientation. My friend S. said they "hooked him up" which his current job, which is how I met him recently. I walked up to the kiosk of the internet company he works for and asked if they were hiring. Somehow (he saw my guitar case) we ended up talking about music (he's a musician, too, and has his own indie record label), and flirting (because that's just how we do ;-) and I went to one of the two open mics that he hosts, where I kicked ASS and sold not a single CD but he did give me twenty bucks so all was not lost.I also met some really nice folks there. But I was pissed and bitter as hell. Where else does one work for free?
Anyhoo, this ain't sposed to be "bitterfest" :-)
Anyway, the joy is improving and expanding.
For the last couple of days I've been thinking about my stationery I used to make for fun and profit. Then today my friend S. in Alburque, who had ordered them before, asked if I had any more of my self-mailing cardstock letters. So, now I'll be making 12 for her to order. Funny thing, that, because my friend M, who had also ordered them before, said he used them only for himself, right? So I ask S. how she uses them - she writes them to HERSELF every year for Rosh Hashannah! My friend M is also Jewish, so I sent him a copy of that text message. Longstoryshort, this bitch is getting her groove back, baby! (Never let it be said.)
So where am I, you ask? I'm at yet another public library, because on Fridays, they're all closed at 5pm or earlier, and my illustrious busking occurrifies (aka "occurriates" from 3-6pm. Since I'm committed to trying out this here new daily blog thing, it became apparent, I'd have to gets my writing and posting needs met in hours before my busking shift.
So, all for now. As much as I'd love to sit and jibber jabber with you good people all day, I've got lots of nifty newsletters of some of my favorite artists and writers, and other documents to print at 7 cents a page, rather than the astronomical quarter of a dollar that the Free Library charges. Why, the noive :-)
Quick facts:
Laptop crashed on July 31st, hence my using other equipment til mine is repaired.
I'm on the 2nd day of a water fast.
I'm very grateful for all the wonderful things in my life, including you, fine reader!
In art and community,
Cassendre
Cassendre Xavier is a musician, author, and community cultural arts organizer whose mission in life is to share joy, inspiration, and sensuality through the creative and healing arts. She is the founder and director of the Black Women’s Arts Festival, and has been an imperfectly practicing raw vegan since 2005. On September 19, 2011, Cassendre celebrated her first year as an ordained interfaith minister. Visit http://cassEndrExavier.com.
Copyright © 2011 by Cassendre Xavier. All rights reserved. Permission is granted to reprint this article, in part, or in whole, only with the inclusion of the author bio, copyright credit, and contact URL http://cassEndrExavier.com.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Diary of a renaissance negresse - 29 Sept 2011
Thursday, September 29, 2011
I don't know what I'm doing here. I thought I was supposed to start writing and posting a daily blog, as my technical supplies allow. But I'm stuck now. What to say?
There was a time, years ago that I wanted to be like Anais Nin - write diaries and publish them. That was my dream for such a long time. Then things changed and now it seems I want that again, only I haven't the patience to save them and then try to publish them.
As a writer, I'm hurt when I don't write enough. And even though I keep a handwritten diary at home, I feel my blog needs more use. So I'm sharing my journey.
Today I ran into a woman who is a creative artist trying to maintain a family of 4 (herself, her partner, and their 2 young children), and a full-time day job (which, thankfully is arts-related). As I spoke of my new desire for a day job myself, and my path over the years of being a full-time book clerk to a full-time multi-media artist, back to wanting a day job, I was amazed at how rapt she was by my story. I was talking so long I felt self-conscious. I actually said, "I'm talking too much" and she said, "No! This is very interesting to me - I'm going through the same thing!"
So, here I write. For anyone out there who is a writer, artist, musician, painter, sculptor, actor/actress, mother, father, guardian, foster parent. Working full time at a job that doesn't directly support your creative passions and talents.
One thing I realized recently is that our careers sometimes go in waves. Don't feel bad if from time to time you need to take on a day job.
I used to think it was a sign of failing that I wasn't making enough from my music, writing, workshops, etc. I felt ashamed to be broke so often and didn't want to think about "giving up" to have a day job.
Then, I remembered the times that I was gainfully employed outside of the arts. It was so nice to have that regular check that would pay my rent and other expenses. It was so nice to have hundreds of dollars here and there to put into getting CDs made, or going to Staples to make chapbooks and stationery and nifty stickers and postcards, etc. That was great! I had money to buy nice outfits and to generally be more relaxed as an artist and as a persun.
Now, I remember that. I also remember there were many times after a few years that I suffered greatly from the desire to not be in a bookstore all day. It was time to spread my artist wings. So I did. And after a few years of trial and error, I eventually became gainfully full-time self-employed as a renaissance negresse. NO day job!
But the pendulum has swung again. I am seeking employment and I'm happy about that! I expect that my life as an artist will improve once I'm not struggling so much to pay my basic living expenses and can once again buy all the equipment and services I need to make the art that brings my life and soul so much joy and helps me put a little more love out in the world.
It is a great privilege to share this with you. If you can relate or want to share, please feel free to post or share this.
Hang in there, stay creative, and don't ever lose faith in your ability to succeed! Life is worth living, and there's no such thing as the perfect way to do it. Just enjoy every single moment and breath. Know you are doing the best you can and take time every day to note your progress. You are not who you were 5 or 10 years ago and 5 or 10 years from now you and your creative portfolio will be even more kick-ass!
Love yourself,
Cassendre
Cassendre Xavier is a musician, author, and community cultural arts
organizer whose mission in life is to share joy, inspiration, and
sensuality through the creative and healing arts. She is the founder
and director of the Black Women’s Arts Festival, and has been an
imperfectly practicing raw vegan since 2005. On September 19, 2011,
Cassendre celebrated her first year as an ordained interfaith
minister. Visit http://cassEndrExavier.com.
Copyright © 2011 by Cassendre Xavier. All rights reserved. Permission
is granted to reprint this article, in part, or in whole, only with
the inclusion of the author bio, copyright credit, and contact URL
http://cassEndrExavier.com.
I don't know what I'm doing here. I thought I was supposed to start writing and posting a daily blog, as my technical supplies allow. But I'm stuck now. What to say?
There was a time, years ago that I wanted to be like Anais Nin - write diaries and publish them. That was my dream for such a long time. Then things changed and now it seems I want that again, only I haven't the patience to save them and then try to publish them.
As a writer, I'm hurt when I don't write enough. And even though I keep a handwritten diary at home, I feel my blog needs more use. So I'm sharing my journey.
Today I ran into a woman who is a creative artist trying to maintain a family of 4 (herself, her partner, and their 2 young children), and a full-time day job (which, thankfully is arts-related). As I spoke of my new desire for a day job myself, and my path over the years of being a full-time book clerk to a full-time multi-media artist, back to wanting a day job, I was amazed at how rapt she was by my story. I was talking so long I felt self-conscious. I actually said, "I'm talking too much" and she said, "No! This is very interesting to me - I'm going through the same thing!"
So, here I write. For anyone out there who is a writer, artist, musician, painter, sculptor, actor/actress, mother, father, guardian, foster parent. Working full time at a job that doesn't directly support your creative passions and talents.
One thing I realized recently is that our careers sometimes go in waves. Don't feel bad if from time to time you need to take on a day job.
I used to think it was a sign of failing that I wasn't making enough from my music, writing, workshops, etc. I felt ashamed to be broke so often and didn't want to think about "giving up" to have a day job.
Then, I remembered the times that I was gainfully employed outside of the arts. It was so nice to have that regular check that would pay my rent and other expenses. It was so nice to have hundreds of dollars here and there to put into getting CDs made, or going to Staples to make chapbooks and stationery and nifty stickers and postcards, etc. That was great! I had money to buy nice outfits and to generally be more relaxed as an artist and as a persun.
Now, I remember that. I also remember there were many times after a few years that I suffered greatly from the desire to not be in a bookstore all day. It was time to spread my artist wings. So I did. And after a few years of trial and error, I eventually became gainfully full-time self-employed as a renaissance negresse. NO day job!
But the pendulum has swung again. I am seeking employment and I'm happy about that! I expect that my life as an artist will improve once I'm not struggling so much to pay my basic living expenses and can once again buy all the equipment and services I need to make the art that brings my life and soul so much joy and helps me put a little more love out in the world.
It is a great privilege to share this with you. If you can relate or want to share, please feel free to post or share this.
Hang in there, stay creative, and don't ever lose faith in your ability to succeed! Life is worth living, and there's no such thing as the perfect way to do it. Just enjoy every single moment and breath. Know you are doing the best you can and take time every day to note your progress. You are not who you were 5 or 10 years ago and 5 or 10 years from now you and your creative portfolio will be even more kick-ass!
Love yourself,
Cassendre
Cassendre Xavier is a musician, author, and community cultural arts
organizer whose mission in life is to share joy, inspiration, and
sensuality through the creative and healing arts. She is the founder
and director of the Black Women’s Arts Festival, and has been an
imperfectly practicing raw vegan since 2005. On September 19, 2011,
Cassendre celebrated her first year as an ordained interfaith
minister. Visit http://cassEndrExavier.com.
Copyright © 2011 by Cassendre Xavier. All rights reserved. Permission
is granted to reprint this article, in part, or in whole, only with
the inclusion of the author bio, copyright credit, and contact URL
http://cassEndrExavier.com.
Friday, July 8, 2011
ME ME ME! CX Museletter “Celebrating Abundance” ediccione
Me! Me! Me! A Cassendre Xavier Museletter
The “Celebrating Abundance” Ediccione, if you will. (As it were.)
Friday, July 8, 2011
Dear friends,
How are you? I am well and I trust you are well also!
Thank you so much for your support of my art/work, and therefore, life, whether via financial support, prayers, well wishes, or visualizations of me as happy and successful.
I apologize for having been so focused on my lack when I wrote last time. I’m glad I did it, and that I expressed myself authentically, but doing so actually made things worse a little bit, in a way! Some folks started avoiding me, because of the vibe of “suffering” I had put out there. I think it made some people feel bad.
In the book Creating Money: Attracting Abundance by Sanaya Roman & Duane Packer (http://orindaben.com), they list qualities that attract and qualities that repel money, or abundance. One of the qualities that attracts is “Giving to people’s prosperity” and one that repels is “Giving to people’s need”. I understand that now. This doesn’t mean that one oughtn’t help when someone is asking for it, it means to affirm abundance, and to focus on this, rather than on lack. (This information is also in the older edition of Creating Money: Keys to Abundance, available for Dirt Ass Cheap at http://amazon.com).
Not to get all “scripture-y”, but in Matthew 25:29 Jesus Christ says, “For to everyone who has, more will be given, and he will have abundance; but from him who does not have, even what he has will be taken away.” (NKJV). I read that a few days ago and so, absolutely, totally got it! It really resonated with me. Doesn’t it seem to you that folks who are usually doing well are usually doing well, and those who are usually complaining always have “material”, if you will? (As it were.)
Energy is energy, and money is energy. You are energy, I am energy, it’s all energy. And energy attracts like energy. An object in motion stays in motion. Do you want your energy to be flowing in the lane of lack, or in that of abundance? Once I realized that, I became more determined to be serious about celebrating my abundance, of which I have a lot. Everything we think is affirmed by the universe. Everything we focus on and say magnetizes things that are like it. This affirms our beliefs. The good news is we get to choose where we place our focus. We can choose to start ignoring negative thoughts and feelings, and replacing them with the positive. Think and do what makes you feel good! Believe the best is yet to come for you!
But getting back to the aftereffects of my most recent museletter, the one called “Gifts of Suffering”...
I also asked the angels to give me more clarity to see what I am doing that’s not serving me and how I can, with their help, make some changes.
One thing is I’m going about fundraising the wrong way. You, my fans, and my friends, and sometimes both, are not my Source. And you’re not my livelihood. It wasn’t just Divine Guidance that gave me this little lesson. It was numbers. Pure and simple math. .
Of all the outlets I sent my fundraising plea last month, I yielded the record-shattering amount of $98. Three folks sent money, and one made a purchase. All were close friends of mine. I didn’t get the windfall of CD Baby or Lulu orders I expected from a high and random number of fans from anear and afar.
Observing the flow of energy is something that comes very easily to me and that I am grateful to be able to do very well and often. I looked at other places where there is a good flow of energy for me – and that is in two places: Grants, and CD sales at concerts.
So, having made that observation, I am focusing on those two things.
In that line, I’ve been researching grants to apply for, feeling very, very good about them, for two reasons: One: I have good chemistry with institutions that have lots of money :-) They tend to like to give it to me, and I’m very happy to be there to assist them with that. But I do have to apply. Therein’s the rub as we say in the business.
Regarding the CDs, I had a realization recently: I am going back to jewel cases complete with picture and liner notes that I wrote and drew myself.
Because I was such in scarcity-thinking mode, for the last several months I had gone to paperless slimline cases. My reasoning was two-fold, one: they were 75% less expensive for me to produce. And secondly: I figured folks were so into just making MP3s out of CDs and playing them on their portable digital listening devices, that they wouldn’t miss the “album art” as it were (if you will). But I’ve noticed that I’ve had way less repeat sales than I’m used to having. And I’m pretty sure it’s because folk aren’t as excited about just a CD in a skinny case – no lyrics, no picture of my lovely face :-)
I had a guy a couple of weeks ago who was passing through when I was busking, and he purchased a CD, and insisted on taking my display copy which has my photo on it. Because he was an older gentleman, pretty cocky, and also from out of town, not likely to see me again anytime soon, I relinquished the copy to him.
I was thinking a couple of days ago, this: I enjoy making liner notes. I love drawing the artwork on them. It’s my holding back of my joy, and *cutting corners from a space of scarcity and lack that reduced my sales, not the quality of my music or performing. (*By the way “Doing your best” is on the list of qualities that attract money, while “Cutting corners” is its opposite.)
We are supposed to be happy. We are supposed to enjoy ourselves in life. That’s why certain things feel good to us, because we’re supposed to do them.
I was thinking yesterday about how I was when I was just starting out as an artist. I was really happy, really free, and really confident in making my CDs. I got into the album art, I enjoyed making the lyrics sheet, I was like a kid playing in the sandbox, not wanting to come in the house for dinner. Just that happy.
I asked myself why I wasn’t happy like that anymore. When had it become just numbers and bitterness and jadedness about the lack of online sales and concert turn-out?
Why was I so sure that following my bliss would indeed yield (eventually) high numbers for me? Why was I so comfortable in that knowing – and completely without doubt or any sense of lack?
It was because I had the physical comfort and stability of gainful employment. I was always comfortably employed full-time at one of a series of bookstores that would be the bulk of my career in retail in Philadelphia.
Because I had plenty of money coming in (I wasn’t rich, but being an Aquarian with a penchant for trash picked and thrift store bought furniture and milk crate everything, I didn’t need much to be happy and comfortable), so I not only easily paid my living expenses, I also had plenty left over to make CDs and go around playing places for fun.
I used to think it was because I was younger that I had more folks coming out to my shows back then. That’s a part of it, I’m sure. But I’m aware that the major thing is energy: I’m out there with an energy of take and not give. And as I’ve learned from busking, which is one of the very best ways to learn the power of the law of attraction, an energy of take repels, while an energy of give attracts. Back then I was excited to perform. I was new to the game. There were coffeehouses, and bookstores and bars and community centers and house parties, and folk venues and Unitarian churches (which were sometimes one and the same), and all sorts of opportunities and invitations to perform, and I enjoyed many of them, because I was new to it and I was living my long-held dream.
If I only made twenty bucks at a gig, I didn’t care, because I had a paycheck. Everything else was extra. Well, that was then. Years went by and I started to feel bad. I started to literally suffer mental anguish (in the form of severe depression) because I wasn’t born to be a bookstore clerk my whole life. I started wanting to become a full time multi-media artist, a performing and recording singer-songwriter-musician and multi-genre publishing author who also acted and did visual arts on occasion. Then I started working towards that. Eventually, I succeeded, but not with financial success or stability, yet. So then, the goal became to be a gainfully and comfortably employed multi-media artist. I’d have spots of windfalls and comforts here and there (Like the $15,000 Leeway Transformation Award I received in 2005, and getting paid upwards of $300, $650, and $750 to perform at higher learning institutions).
The 1990s for me were about me developing a strong desire to become an active, multi-media artist. That’s when I was working at bookstores full time and performing and getting published “on the side” or “in my free time”. The early 2000s were when I became and started fully working as a multi-media artist. That’s when I started community cultural arts events, like the Women’s Writing & Spoken Word Series (http://WomensWritingSeries.org - Click to read and see pretty pictures about the next event on July 20, featuring Jeanine Hoffman, Angel Rollins, and myself as musical host!) and the Black Women’s Arts Festival (http://BWAFphilly.org - Click to read about the 8th Annual BWAF, happening July 27 – 31 at 3 different venues!). I released several albums of music described as “a cross between Tracy Chapman, Sade and Enya” (Steven M. Wilson, Borders Books) http://tinyurl.com/CXCDBaby. I also was published in various anthologies and periodicals (
http://ARTivistPublications.homestead.com, or http://cassEndrExavier.com, click “Writing”) and produced and performed in a 4-cast member play (including theatre artist and spiritual teacher O, cellist/vocalist/lyricist/composer/former BWAF Creative Director Monica McIntyre, and poet Samantha Barrow) for 3 days of the Philadelphia Fringe Festival. But those years were more full of financial famine than of feast, although the creative output was tremendous, inspiring me to coin the term “renaissance negresse” to define myself as an artist most succinctly and clearly.
The next few years are about my balancing my creative output with my financial abundance.
I had begun to rest on my laurels, expecting certain rewards because of my previous years of experience in the arts. But now I have relinquished all of that, because it created an attitude of bitterness that isn’t pretty at all!
I am ready to work for what I want again. I have discipline. I am ready to pay the dues I thought I had already paid. I now know there are new dues all the time, because the dream is always changing and growing. I don’t want for myself alone anymore. I have a family to think of – and by family I mean the initiatives that I’ve created. I want to them to last and grow, and do so without me. So I must do whatever it takes to start getting smart about my business as an ARTrepreneur.
The Black Women’s Arts Festival is very important. It deserves to have someone running it who is well taken care of and able to do good work in a comfortable, relaxed way.
So, wish me luck as I embark upon this new adventure!
I intend to remain disciplined in my intention and focus on my abundance from now on. And I am grateful for the lesson that your response, or lack thereof (unless you went to iTunes and ordered a bunch of 99 cent songs that I won’t know about until I get my royalties a few weeks from now!) taught me: You are not my Source of abundance. Spirit is my Source. God/The Most High/the All that Is/Goddess, etc. And the way to be is joyful. I am back to following my bliss. I get it. And I thank you!
Thank you for your kind attention, as always, and I wish you the very best.
In art and community, and ABUNDANCE,
Cassendre Xavier
renaissance negresse & ARTrepreneur
http://cassEndrExavier.com
Number of times the word “ass” was used in this ediccione, if you will. (As it were.): 1 (Maybe I’ll do better next time :-)
© Copyright 2011 by Cassendre Xavier. All rightzen reservenitzken.
Permission is granted to reprint this article, in part, or its entirety, provided the following is included: “ME! ME! ME! The Cassendre Xavier Museletter: “Celebrating Abundance” Ediccione. Visit http://cassEndrExavier.com for more info. Please share responsibly.”
The “Celebrating Abundance” Ediccione, if you will. (As it were.)
Friday, July 8, 2011
Dear friends,
How are you? I am well and I trust you are well also!
Thank you so much for your support of my art/work, and therefore, life, whether via financial support, prayers, well wishes, or visualizations of me as happy and successful.
I apologize for having been so focused on my lack when I wrote last time. I’m glad I did it, and that I expressed myself authentically, but doing so actually made things worse a little bit, in a way! Some folks started avoiding me, because of the vibe of “suffering” I had put out there. I think it made some people feel bad.
In the book Creating Money: Attracting Abundance by Sanaya Roman & Duane Packer (http://orindaben.com), they list qualities that attract and qualities that repel money, or abundance. One of the qualities that attracts is “Giving to people’s prosperity” and one that repels is “Giving to people’s need”. I understand that now. This doesn’t mean that one oughtn’t help when someone is asking for it, it means to affirm abundance, and to focus on this, rather than on lack. (This information is also in the older edition of Creating Money: Keys to Abundance, available for Dirt Ass Cheap at http://amazon.com).
Not to get all “scripture-y”, but in Matthew 25:29 Jesus Christ says, “For to everyone who has, more will be given, and he will have abundance; but from him who does not have, even what he has will be taken away.” (NKJV). I read that a few days ago and so, absolutely, totally got it! It really resonated with me. Doesn’t it seem to you that folks who are usually doing well are usually doing well, and those who are usually complaining always have “material”, if you will? (As it were.)
Energy is energy, and money is energy. You are energy, I am energy, it’s all energy. And energy attracts like energy. An object in motion stays in motion. Do you want your energy to be flowing in the lane of lack, or in that of abundance? Once I realized that, I became more determined to be serious about celebrating my abundance, of which I have a lot. Everything we think is affirmed by the universe. Everything we focus on and say magnetizes things that are like it. This affirms our beliefs. The good news is we get to choose where we place our focus. We can choose to start ignoring negative thoughts and feelings, and replacing them with the positive. Think and do what makes you feel good! Believe the best is yet to come for you!
But getting back to the aftereffects of my most recent museletter, the one called “Gifts of Suffering”...
I also asked the angels to give me more clarity to see what I am doing that’s not serving me and how I can, with their help, make some changes.
One thing is I’m going about fundraising the wrong way. You, my fans, and my friends, and sometimes both, are not my Source. And you’re not my livelihood. It wasn’t just Divine Guidance that gave me this little lesson. It was numbers. Pure and simple math. .
Of all the outlets I sent my fundraising plea last month, I yielded the record-shattering amount of $98. Three folks sent money, and one made a purchase. All were close friends of mine. I didn’t get the windfall of CD Baby or Lulu orders I expected from a high and random number of fans from anear and afar.
Observing the flow of energy is something that comes very easily to me and that I am grateful to be able to do very well and often. I looked at other places where there is a good flow of energy for me – and that is in two places: Grants, and CD sales at concerts.
So, having made that observation, I am focusing on those two things.
In that line, I’ve been researching grants to apply for, feeling very, very good about them, for two reasons: One: I have good chemistry with institutions that have lots of money :-) They tend to like to give it to me, and I’m very happy to be there to assist them with that. But I do have to apply. Therein’s the rub as we say in the business.
Regarding the CDs, I had a realization recently: I am going back to jewel cases complete with picture and liner notes that I wrote and drew myself.
Because I was such in scarcity-thinking mode, for the last several months I had gone to paperless slimline cases. My reasoning was two-fold, one: they were 75% less expensive for me to produce. And secondly: I figured folks were so into just making MP3s out of CDs and playing them on their portable digital listening devices, that they wouldn’t miss the “album art” as it were (if you will). But I’ve noticed that I’ve had way less repeat sales than I’m used to having. And I’m pretty sure it’s because folk aren’t as excited about just a CD in a skinny case – no lyrics, no picture of my lovely face :-)
I had a guy a couple of weeks ago who was passing through when I was busking, and he purchased a CD, and insisted on taking my display copy which has my photo on it. Because he was an older gentleman, pretty cocky, and also from out of town, not likely to see me again anytime soon, I relinquished the copy to him.
I was thinking a couple of days ago, this: I enjoy making liner notes. I love drawing the artwork on them. It’s my holding back of my joy, and *cutting corners from a space of scarcity and lack that reduced my sales, not the quality of my music or performing. (*By the way “Doing your best” is on the list of qualities that attract money, while “Cutting corners” is its opposite.)
We are supposed to be happy. We are supposed to enjoy ourselves in life. That’s why certain things feel good to us, because we’re supposed to do them.
I was thinking yesterday about how I was when I was just starting out as an artist. I was really happy, really free, and really confident in making my CDs. I got into the album art, I enjoyed making the lyrics sheet, I was like a kid playing in the sandbox, not wanting to come in the house for dinner. Just that happy.
I asked myself why I wasn’t happy like that anymore. When had it become just numbers and bitterness and jadedness about the lack of online sales and concert turn-out?
Why was I so sure that following my bliss would indeed yield (eventually) high numbers for me? Why was I so comfortable in that knowing – and completely without doubt or any sense of lack?
It was because I had the physical comfort and stability of gainful employment. I was always comfortably employed full-time at one of a series of bookstores that would be the bulk of my career in retail in Philadelphia.
Because I had plenty of money coming in (I wasn’t rich, but being an Aquarian with a penchant for trash picked and thrift store bought furniture and milk crate everything, I didn’t need much to be happy and comfortable), so I not only easily paid my living expenses, I also had plenty left over to make CDs and go around playing places for fun.
I used to think it was because I was younger that I had more folks coming out to my shows back then. That’s a part of it, I’m sure. But I’m aware that the major thing is energy: I’m out there with an energy of take and not give. And as I’ve learned from busking, which is one of the very best ways to learn the power of the law of attraction, an energy of take repels, while an energy of give attracts. Back then I was excited to perform. I was new to the game. There were coffeehouses, and bookstores and bars and community centers and house parties, and folk venues and Unitarian churches (which were sometimes one and the same), and all sorts of opportunities and invitations to perform, and I enjoyed many of them, because I was new to it and I was living my long-held dream.
If I only made twenty bucks at a gig, I didn’t care, because I had a paycheck. Everything else was extra. Well, that was then. Years went by and I started to feel bad. I started to literally suffer mental anguish (in the form of severe depression) because I wasn’t born to be a bookstore clerk my whole life. I started wanting to become a full time multi-media artist, a performing and recording singer-songwriter-musician and multi-genre publishing author who also acted and did visual arts on occasion. Then I started working towards that. Eventually, I succeeded, but not with financial success or stability, yet. So then, the goal became to be a gainfully and comfortably employed multi-media artist. I’d have spots of windfalls and comforts here and there (Like the $15,000 Leeway Transformation Award I received in 2005, and getting paid upwards of $300, $650, and $750 to perform at higher learning institutions).
The 1990s for me were about me developing a strong desire to become an active, multi-media artist. That’s when I was working at bookstores full time and performing and getting published “on the side” or “in my free time”. The early 2000s were when I became and started fully working as a multi-media artist. That’s when I started community cultural arts events, like the Women’s Writing & Spoken Word Series (http://WomensWritingSeries.org - Click to read and see pretty pictures about the next event on July 20, featuring Jeanine Hoffman, Angel Rollins, and myself as musical host!) and the Black Women’s Arts Festival (http://BWAFphilly.org - Click to read about the 8th Annual BWAF, happening July 27 – 31 at 3 different venues!). I released several albums of music described as “a cross between Tracy Chapman, Sade and Enya” (Steven M. Wilson, Borders Books) http://tinyurl.com/CXCDBaby. I also was published in various anthologies and periodicals (
http://ARTivistPublications.homestead.com, or http://cassEndrExavier.com, click “Writing”) and produced and performed in a 4-cast member play (including theatre artist and spiritual teacher O, cellist/vocalist/lyricist/composer/former BWAF Creative Director Monica McIntyre, and poet Samantha Barrow) for 3 days of the Philadelphia Fringe Festival. But those years were more full of financial famine than of feast, although the creative output was tremendous, inspiring me to coin the term “renaissance negresse” to define myself as an artist most succinctly and clearly.
The next few years are about my balancing my creative output with my financial abundance.
I had begun to rest on my laurels, expecting certain rewards because of my previous years of experience in the arts. But now I have relinquished all of that, because it created an attitude of bitterness that isn’t pretty at all!
I am ready to work for what I want again. I have discipline. I am ready to pay the dues I thought I had already paid. I now know there are new dues all the time, because the dream is always changing and growing. I don’t want for myself alone anymore. I have a family to think of – and by family I mean the initiatives that I’ve created. I want to them to last and grow, and do so without me. So I must do whatever it takes to start getting smart about my business as an ARTrepreneur.
The Black Women’s Arts Festival is very important. It deserves to have someone running it who is well taken care of and able to do good work in a comfortable, relaxed way.
So, wish me luck as I embark upon this new adventure!
I intend to remain disciplined in my intention and focus on my abundance from now on. And I am grateful for the lesson that your response, or lack thereof (unless you went to iTunes and ordered a bunch of 99 cent songs that I won’t know about until I get my royalties a few weeks from now!) taught me: You are not my Source of abundance. Spirit is my Source. God/The Most High/the All that Is/Goddess, etc. And the way to be is joyful. I am back to following my bliss. I get it. And I thank you!
Thank you for your kind attention, as always, and I wish you the very best.
In art and community, and ABUNDANCE,
Cassendre Xavier
renaissance negresse & ARTrepreneur
http://cassEndrExavier.com
Number of times the word “ass” was used in this ediccione, if you will. (As it were.): 1 (Maybe I’ll do better next time :-)
© Copyright 2011 by Cassendre Xavier. All rightzen reservenitzken.
Permission is granted to reprint this article, in part, or its entirety, provided the following is included: “ME! ME! ME! The Cassendre Xavier Museletter: “Celebrating Abundance” Ediccione. Visit http://cassEndrExavier.com for more info. Please share responsibly.”
Sunday, June 12, 2011
6/20 Nikki Powerhouse & Laurie Pollack – Women’s Writing & Spoken Word Series
[Scroll down for feature bios! You're invited to attend in person or watch us from anywhere in the world!]
The Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series, a nurturing environment that celebrates women in the craft of multi-genre writing, presents Nikki Powerhouse & Laurie Pollack!
Monday, June 20, 2011
7pm-9pm, $5 Admission
Moonstone Arts Center
110A S. 13th St (at Sansom)
Philadelphia, PA
Hosted with live music by Cassendre Xavier!
Always includes a Mixed-Gender Open Mic!
Streams LIVE at www.moonstoneartscenter.org, click on the Watch Live button.
Your contribution of $5 or more helps to support the featured readers, the Series, and Moonstone. (No one turned away.)
ABOUT NIKKI POWERHOUSE
Nikki Powerhouse is a native of Philadelphia, PA soil. An actress, playwright, poet, nude figure model and freedom dancer are many of her artistic expressions. She considers herself “commissioned by the ancestors” and is a channel for many characters, ranging from small child to elders, which she plays starkly and convincingly. Nikki began her extensive theater training at the Philadelphia Creative Performing Arts High School, and continued her theater passion at Black Nexxus, Theatre for New Generation, and many theater classes in New York City. Her New York City stage credits includes: Notice Me presented in NYC Fringe Festival, Sex, God, and Heels, Queen Mary of Scotland and Khepera. In Philadelphia she has trained with The New Freedom Theater, and currently in her second year at Community College of Philadelphia and will finish her BFA at Temple University School of Theater Communications. Philadelphia stage credits includes: her one-woman show Fantasy is an Addiction (2005 Philly Fringe Festival), Black Women’s Arts Festival, lead role in Antigone, Seven Guitars, Fences, and Merry Wives of Windsor. Ms. Powerhouse’s flexibility leaves her audiences captivated by each every performance giving true mean to the name: Powerhouse! Contact: NikkiPowerhouse(at)yahoo.com
ABOUT LAURIE POLLACK
Laurie Pollack believes that by creating, we honor, and connect to, the Source of inspiration and creative “fire” and create a more peaceful, gentler world. She honors Brighid, goddess of creativity and healing. She has self-published one book, “Peace Walk”, and is working on a new book, “Musings”, expected to be self-published in 2012. She is the facilitator of The Blank Canvas: a monthly creativity circle/gathering that meets in Delaware County to do creative “stuff” together. She walks for peace every year in Nevada with Nevada Desert Experience and maintains the website for the Delaware County Peace Center. Laurie has recently branched out into collage and is experimenting with several forms of visual arts. She is in love with color in all its forms.
In her “day” job she is a computer programmer for a health related company. Writing and art feed her “right brain” after a day of precise report writing. She lives with her life partner of 16 years, Mary, and two carnivorous cats, Maggie and Kyra, who generously allow her to be vegetarian while under their roof. Contact: webpoet1(at)aol.com
Founded in 2002 by Cassendre Xavier, the Women’s Writing & Spoken Word Series is a nurturing environment that celebrates women in the craft of multi-genre writing. For submissions and other information, please visit www.WomensWritingSeries.org
[To see author pics, visit http://tinyurl.com/WWSWS or visit www.MoonstoneArtsCenter.org and click “Calendar” June 20]
The Women's Writing & Spoken Word Series, a nurturing environment that celebrates women in the craft of multi-genre writing, presents Nikki Powerhouse & Laurie Pollack!
Monday, June 20, 2011
7pm-9pm, $5 Admission
Moonstone Arts Center
110A S. 13th St (at Sansom)
Philadelphia, PA
Hosted with live music by Cassendre Xavier!
Always includes a Mixed-Gender Open Mic!
Streams LIVE at www.moonstoneartscenter.org, click on the Watch Live button.
Your contribution of $5 or more helps to support the featured readers, the Series, and Moonstone. (No one turned away.)
ABOUT NIKKI POWERHOUSE
Nikki Powerhouse is a native of Philadelphia, PA soil. An actress, playwright, poet, nude figure model and freedom dancer are many of her artistic expressions. She considers herself “commissioned by the ancestors” and is a channel for many characters, ranging from small child to elders, which she plays starkly and convincingly. Nikki began her extensive theater training at the Philadelphia Creative Performing Arts High School, and continued her theater passion at Black Nexxus, Theatre for New Generation, and many theater classes in New York City. Her New York City stage credits includes: Notice Me presented in NYC Fringe Festival, Sex, God, and Heels, Queen Mary of Scotland and Khepera. In Philadelphia she has trained with The New Freedom Theater, and currently in her second year at Community College of Philadelphia and will finish her BFA at Temple University School of Theater Communications. Philadelphia stage credits includes: her one-woman show Fantasy is an Addiction (2005 Philly Fringe Festival), Black Women’s Arts Festival, lead role in Antigone, Seven Guitars, Fences, and Merry Wives of Windsor. Ms. Powerhouse’s flexibility leaves her audiences captivated by each every performance giving true mean to the name: Powerhouse! Contact: NikkiPowerhouse(at)yahoo.com
ABOUT LAURIE POLLACK
Laurie Pollack believes that by creating, we honor, and connect to, the Source of inspiration and creative “fire” and create a more peaceful, gentler world. She honors Brighid, goddess of creativity and healing. She has self-published one book, “Peace Walk”, and is working on a new book, “Musings”, expected to be self-published in 2012. She is the facilitator of The Blank Canvas: a monthly creativity circle/gathering that meets in Delaware County to do creative “stuff” together. She walks for peace every year in Nevada with Nevada Desert Experience and maintains the website for the Delaware County Peace Center. Laurie has recently branched out into collage and is experimenting with several forms of visual arts. She is in love with color in all its forms.
In her “day” job she is a computer programmer for a health related company. Writing and art feed her “right brain” after a day of precise report writing. She lives with her life partner of 16 years, Mary, and two carnivorous cats, Maggie and Kyra, who generously allow her to be vegetarian while under their roof. Contact: webpoet1(at)aol.com
Founded in 2002 by Cassendre Xavier, the Women’s Writing & Spoken Word Series is a nurturing environment that celebrates women in the craft of multi-genre writing. For submissions and other information, please visit www.WomensWritingSeries.org
[To see author pics, visit http://tinyurl.com/WWSWS or visit www.MoonstoneArtsCenter.org and click “Calendar” June 20]
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